• Member Since 27th Mar, 2012
  • offline last seen 5 hours ago

Little Jackie Papercut



E

Twilight Sparkle, becoming anxious at the upcoming Summer Sun Celebration, which she believes marks the return of Nightmare Moon, beseeches Princess Celestia to do something about it.

Celestia, however, has another, more important task for her; making sure that the Summer Sun Celebration goes off without a hitch. Every year, a different town is chosen to receive the honor of hosting the grand festival.

And the lucky city chosen this year, for this fateful holiday, is none other than the city of Manehattan...

Cover image by Conner Cogwork.

Chapters (4)
Comments ( 201 )

Very interesting alternative. I'll keep an eye on this.

Wow. Trixie version of Pinkie Party is AWESOME. Great alternative, I like it. Followed and faved.

Hmm... a good alternative. Lets see where you take this.

Oh, that was actually kind of clever.

Honey Do is Daring Do? That's very interesting. I look forward to more.

Clever pun there.

..... now I'm peckish.

i want a hamster ball

Hee, I knew it. I knew it when I saw that compass rose on the cover.

This is really great. I love how you made all those parallels with the original episode.

For a moment though, I thought the "wrong place at the right time" title referred to them being miles away from the Everfree, though :rainbowlaugh:

Holy shit batman, this is good. :pinkiegasp:

Voice actors?

Blossomforth/Orange Sherbet> Tress Macneille (Babs Bunny voice/Cool Old Lady voice)
Octavia > Jennifer Hale (Cinderella voice)
Honey Do> EG Daily (Buttercup voice)

The Elements are in the Museum?!
...Wait...
Last Chapter

Noticing that the curator had gone on to talking about a few unremarkable lumps of rock

Oh, you clever, little... you!

In the style of youtube comments, THE COGWORK ARMY HAS ARRIVED!

Museums: Not just where you go to learn about boring stuff.

"Supernatural History" ... The elements were definitely going to be there. The big surprise? Celestia set it up 6 Months earlier! :trollestia:

This is looking SO wonderful!! :pinkiehappy: I liked the addition of Blossomforth and specially Octavia (I really like her :twilightsmile:) However! Trixie? :trixieshiftright: I never, EVER would have seen that coming!

I...didnt saw this coming. That was clever. Good work, sir! :moustache: Or lady, I am not sure. :twilightsheepish:

Honey is Daring, saw it coming. The color scheme kind of gave it away.

1662343
Ooh, nice catch, I didn't notice that!

... Okay, I have to say, what with this being a different universe, I was KIND OF hoping that AJ would still be in the story, just having gotten an Orange cutie mark instead. XD Oh wells... I guess I'll keep going. :3

Hmmmm, you've piqued my curiosity. Let's see where this goes.

Okay, this chapter hooked me.

Excellent start to a very fun looking AU! Glad I saw this in the featured box and faved it for later, it's quite interesting so far. Definitely a thumbs up.

1661807
idk i was kinda reading Octavia in Brenda Crichlow's voice (Zecora's VA) but with a high-class british accent instead of african
Jennifer Hale could do it, but her voice isn't deep enough i think

1666682Not to mention she is in the character tags.

I wonder if Honey Do likes melons.

I noticed you re-organized the chapters. Will more be coming soon? This is already on my list of favorite MLP Universes.:twilightsmile:

1966617
Yeah, I've actually got the next chapter written now, and am just waiting for some feedback on it after the last revisions. It should be up tonight or tomorrow.

Once they become the Elements of Harmony and defeat Nightmare Moon (I'm just guessing here, guessed the Elements part from the image.) will you continue the story here or with a sequel, or start a group and make it an official fandom alternate universe, open for people to make stories and submit them to you? Or will you just leave it at this? There is SO MUCH potential in this story universe.:twilightsmile:

1971330
I definitely do plan to write more stories in this universe.

I feel like making an official group for the universe after writing only one story might be a little arrogant, presuming that I'm on the level of other established groups that have already done that and that other writers are actually interested. However, I am open to the idea. Really, I would quite like to see this universe built upon by other people with their own ideas. So, if someone tells me they're writing/have written a story following up on this universe, I'll create said group.

This chapter is... good for what it is, but since much of it is so similar to what happens in the show, it's possible to skip of large portions of it without losing anything. There are some portions where you put in something new to try to differentiate it, but... eh, I guess those similarities are largely unavoidable...

1971976
I was worried about that. I've tried, throughout this story, to make all the deviations from the original plot ones that could be the plausible result of the different setting and cast, but there just wasn't that much I could do with this encounter while staying true to that. I decided to err on the side of caution here.

1972097
despite everything, i think you made the right call there.:twilightsmile:

question is, where will it go from here? :rainbowhuh:

I didn't mind. I don't know why readers frown so much on similarities, it kinda pays homage in a way. And considering how many alternate universes retell this one particular episode, it's getting hard to be original with it.

I liked this chapter, a lot, Twilights battle with NMM the pocket dimension, an idea I love by the way NMM even making an offer to Twi all of it was quite well done and fast paced enough that it didn't drag, while there were similarities to the show I feel you changed enough that it wasn't bothersome at all I especially loved Trixie's lines about her on tour and being heroes :rainbowlaugh: they were great, though Twilight seemed to say savage "breast" when talking about Tavi and the Chimera. But yeah I loved each of the elements responses to find out their element, Twi seemed a bit, cocky, when chatting to Nightmare Moon near the end as opposed to elated, but that's a minor thing.
Having Luna help them escape and Celestia Luna hugging was great, yes they hugged in the original version too, but I really like how you described it here, so anyway this was an amazing fic, and I really look forward to seeing more from this verse. :twilightsmile:

Nice job ruining the moment, Trixie. :facehoof:

1973006
There's a line from the play The Mourning Bride, by William Congreve, that goes "Music hath charms to soothe the savage breast", meanin', music can ease a heart in pain. It's usually misquoted as "Music soothes the savage beast", which Octavia said after she calmed the chimera. Twilight, bein', well, Twilight, was bein' a mite persnickety about misquotations.

1973325
ah I knew that "music soothes the savage beast" wasn't the full/correct quote, though I didn't guess it was, well that, TY for the clarification :pinkiesmile:

Wait...:rainbowhuh:
*Looks at story status*
:pinkiegasp:TO BE CONTIMTAMMED?

I need to ask. Now that Twilight is living in Manehatten, how is the episode "Boast Busters" going to work? Is Trixie going to find opposition from somepony else in Ponyville?

1976582
Ponyville is destroyed by a rampagin' Ursa Minor.

Nah, ah'm kiddin'. Spike's in Manehattan, so there's nobody to convince Snips an'Snails to bring it ta town.

1976711 But what about Trixie? Does she go and then come back after proving she's better than the residents of Ponyville?

Are Daring and Ditzy related in your universe? :derpytongue2:

1986441
Still workin' on that one. It's hard ta get a straight answer outta Ditzy, an' even harder ta get an interview with Daring.

One little thing.. You have twilight saying that Octavia's music soothed the savage BREAST of a chimera. Mayhaps you should change that. Just a thought.
Nicely done.

Yay, they did it! Even if it's like the show, I still enjoyed it :twilightsmile:

And best of all, it is not over yet! :pinkiehappy:

2005150
Ah already explained this. See 1973325

Read a book, people. :ajbemused:

Twilight: "Spike, no eating the furniture!"

Me::rainbowlaugh:

Login or register to comment