• Member Since 29th Jan, 2012
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I keep staring at that "Block RainbowDoubleDash" button, and I can't help but wonder what would happen if I clicked it...

Comments ( 714 )

Oh lord... I'm liking this.

I have several of your stories on my Read Later list, just waiting for me to dig into them...

... and yet I drop everything to read a story about Trixie getting sexual urges.

Kinda tells ya where my priorities lay, huh? :rainbowderp:

I love that Carrot Top is the exact opposite in how she views sex in regards to Trixie. Her lines were hilarious!

Well done. This actually makes me feel more for Trixie than your main storyline has done at times.

Huh, I share a lot of Trixie's sentiments. Carry on.

This story promises many laughs. I look forward to reading more.

wow this was both hilarious perverse creepy and surprisingly in character for a crack fic.
The Aloe and Lotus scne with a perverse Carrot Top with low finances :rainbowlaugh:
Can't wait to see what Lyra and Bonbon have planned.
Please tell me we get to see Raindrops at some pint, seriously this is crack no better place! :pinkiehappy:

Didn't like the Pokey scene as much but that's just me, plus it seems a little odd of ran "asexual" even one with a biological sex clock of extreme strength to find someone attractive rather than just having huge urges in general.
hah! Luna and Trixie's letters awesomeness :rainbowlaugh:
though it was also mean of Luna
Can't wait to see what happens next...
because... for science, and not my sense of humour :scootangel:

“Ve charge a little more for our deluxe service,”

:rainbowlaugh: ... :trollestia: ... :rainbowlaugh: :rainbowlaugh:

Also CT asking exactly how much, and about the lock-in. :trollestia:

Lyra & BonBon :trollestia::trollestia:

Pokey, and his MAGNIFICENT HORN! :trollestia::trollestia::trollestia:


Oh dear, I simply must have more of this wondrous crack.

That was hilarious! :rainbowlaugh:

I'm guessing this will be mature humor like Estrus, and not actually full on clop?

No, there shouldn't be any full-on clop.

Ooooh holy GOD.

I'm not much of a fan of clopfics (I'm not opposed to adult themes in stories, I just prefer it as a means to an end, not the end itself) but I love raunchy humor (I'm a regular reader of Oglaf, after all).

Tracking for great justice.

Luna, somepony is playing your favorite song wrong... :trollestia:

1492179 I'm in the same boat. Go figure.

In any case, hilarious thus far. It's what I might expect an episode of the show to be if it were actually targeted towards the peripheral demographic. Kind of.
Wow. You ever get weirded out by yourself sometimes?

In any case, looking forward to more.

...oh god, this is hilarious. I demand more.

And has hilariously and sexy as this is, I do feel sorry for Trixie. She really does need to learn to be comfortable with herself........

And Luna more or less telling Trixie to go fornicate herself is hilarious and completely in character at the same time.

And Lyra and Bonbon planning something...hmmm......maybe Trixie will learn what green tastes like......

Nothing like a mare in heat to bring out the taste of a Breakfast Burrito. (Not really, but it was fun to say. And I AM eating a breakfast burrito while I read.) :pinkiehappy:


<Volley of anti-Shipping missiles collides with HMS PokeyTrix>


Trixie seriously needs psychological help... was she supposed to of been molested as a filly or something?!

Amusing, but not all that funny. Yet.
I can't help but wonder how much more comedic and deftly nuanced this could be handled if it actually was in canon Lunaverse and taken seriously.
Also not sure I like the "sex is gross" attitude compared to the "freaked out by sex from being the protege of Luna and every stallion and mare with a political motive trying to get under my tail even at a much too young age" (AKA "sex is a weapon and I won't be it's victim") which I expected.


I tend to agree. She is sometimes too much of a perspective character.

The "Night Court" version is a bit dark for me...


Well, not THAT dark if she's still a virgin. But yeah. I agree. Wouldn't want her to go through that.
Good example of it in Return of Princess Nightmare Moon.

See Trixie. This is why you can't just ignore the needs of your body. :trollestia: Now, might I introduce you to a lovely and intelligent purple mare.....:ajsmug:

Hey, a farmer has to relax every so often. :rainbowkiss:
What will be funny is when she finds out Applejack showed up too....:ajsmug:


....that gives me an idea.......


well, the key party at the spa already gave me an idea involving Cheerilee and Heavy Roller, but throwing AJ and CT into mix would make things simply delightful.

That, and I have an idea involving Pinkie Pie and some poor mare, because Pinkie Pie would totally go to any party.

Mwuahahaha. I am gonna be watching out for that one.


...what the hell, I haven't made much progress on anything in the past while. I need something cracky to get the juices flowing.

Hey RDD, mind giving a dood some details about these parties Aloe and Lotus hold?

...heh, flowing juices.....

I am both terrified and intrigued. :twilightoops::pinkiehappy:

Details? I don't have any details, it was thought up on the spot for a joke.

Um...well, they're at a spa, so I guess there's mud and lotion...


.....I can work with that.


you and me both.

As far as any of us know, (no) she wasn't molested she's just Asexual, which naturally makes the idea of partially or totally losing control of her body and almost being "compelled" to do stuff she finds disgusting is understandable.

1494301 'Just Asexual'? That's like saying someone has 'Just' an eating disorder. In order for any living creature (who doesn't reproduce asexually) to have no interest in sex, let alone be repulsed by it points to some serious mental problems. :pinkiesick:

After all, when you get right down to it sex is instinctually the only reason to prolong ones life (once again assuming were not talking about a single cell or something). So for there to be an aversion to it there is either A) Trauma or B) A physical problem with the brain/hormones, neither of which is healthy.dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_unsuresweetie_flip.png

I'm mildly offended by this seeing as I'm Asexual, I'd recommend doing some reading on the subject.

To my faithful student,

If you would care to notice that stick up between your flanks, and wiggle it around, you might actually enjoy it, god forbid.

Your Dearest,
Luna of Equestria, your God

Also RDD, Pokey is gay, but still affected by hormones? Am I misreading something, or is he getting the hell out of dodge?

And EB, BB? Until a better explanation is offered, the lockout is canon for how CT and AJ were able to bury the hatchet, despite planning to stretch the rivalry out for an entire season.

Actually, it can totally just happen. For any given set, there will always be outliers.

After all, it makes no sense from a biological standpoint that there could be gays or lesbians, but we know for a fact that they exist. So is someone who's completely uncomfortable with the thought of either really so bizarre by comparison?

Check it.
(Oh, and here is the wiki article)

That was meant to be Trixie's interpretation of what was happening to him. Guess it was unclear. This chapter was written in about an hour, so that's to be expected, I guess.

I'll fix it.

1494497 I see what your trying to say but I would go with yes...that really is a bad thing. Biologically you would assume Schizophrenia would get bred out of the population and we still have that. The fact that it is an outlier doesn't necessarily make it alright.

Gays are viewed as still being healthy because they are still showing an interest in their normal biological functions even if the attraction is misplaced. Like I said before, having no interest in sex is like not having an interest in food or breathing. Lacking any of those things is denying your opportunity to continue your genes ie. denying your very reason to exist.

This Trixie is your character so in the end I have to accept your interpretation of her inner workings but from where I see things she is a very ill mare.

You should check out this site and again I'm offended by you implying that I'm "ill."

man I really don't want this to turn into come culture political thingy.

Well, near as can be told, it doesn't actually have any severe impact on the lives of asexual people. Trixie's an unusual case for getting so grossed out, but I'm not gonna lie, this happens mostly 'cause I think it's funny.

She's not adverse to forming close romantic relationships, and in that sense, she's straight (in canon, anyway; in this, who knows?). But sex? No.

Seriously it totally doesn't, I'm happy :pinkiehappy: and yes it is funny plus due to "heat" it's understandable that Trixie would probably find sex more unappealing and squicky than a human asexual.

but considering Equestrias views on gender and Trixie lacking the desire for either sex why would she be "straight" at all? :unsuresweetie: that don't make sense :scootangel:

Well, I mean "straight' insofar as romantic relationships are concerned. And while Equestrians don't care about homosexuality or bisexuality, I think the majority of them still lean towards straight, though I do also think they're more experimental.

Sexuality is redicuously complicated. Even amongst humans, it's rare to find someone who is 100% straight or 100% gay. Even someone who self-identifies as completely straight might still have someone they'd "go gay" for. Usually George Clooney or John Barrowman for men. With Equestrians it's even murkier, I think, nevermind adding in things like how some ponies might only be attracted to ponies from certain tribes, or be repulsed by ponies of certain tribes, without ever taking gender into account.

And then there's minotaurs...

...the point is that, in canon, I think that Trixie is generally romantically attracted only to males.

Again, though, this is non-canon and could go any direction.

I know you meant only insofar as romantic relationships and while a fair number of asexual people might choose to define themselves as straight gay or bi. this tends to be more to do with culture than anything else so from a society that cares very little about sexuality it seems unlikely that Trixie would be romantically inclined one way or the other.
I mean she's your character though just yeah making a note of it, sorry fi it came across like I was telling you how to write your character.
Besides you did say "generally" :trixieshiftright:
Plus she's form Neigh orleans! :pinkiehappy:

Do you know what my favorite part about this is? That it's not marked Romance.

Too many clop writers have the impression that just because it has sex, it's automatically romance, even if it's just loveless sex. Kudos to you.

You just want her to be free for your OTS with Raindrops. :derpytongue2:

More seriously Trixie is only asexually from the stand point of hanky-panky, therefore it is still perfectly sensible for her to still identify with specific gender attractions. Just because she doesn't care for the downstairs action doesn't mean she ignores the rest of the package.

Plus she's form Neigh orleans!

Based on her own statements in other stories that fact seems to correlated with her aversion to sex in the first place. She might be naturally disinterested, but growing up in a city with such a wild side seems to have turned it into full blown squick.

Well, this is going to get very interesting.

I am intrigued, aroused, and disturbed.

Please continue...preferably on the other stories, but this one's good, too.

...eh. Your characterization is spot-on as ever, but "lol magical heat" stories always strike me as really disturbing what with the whole dubious consent thing. :applejackunsure:

Oh geeze!! I really feel for Trixie here, I do. This has the potential for so much chaos! Hee.

Whatever you do Trixie, just don't think of this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HClxCvb9ETs

All aboard the hilarity train.

Next stop: featured box.

While I will concede to loving that ship this really is more about the technical side of things, than anything else :derpytongue2:

More seriously Trixie is only asexually from the stand point of hanky-panky, therefore it is still perfectly sensible for her to still identify with specific gender attractions. Just because she doesn't care for the downstairs action doesn't mean she ignores the rest of the package.

Again I'm well aware of this, I even mentioned it. I just said that from an Equestrian stand point it doesn't strike me as such a big thing it's largely culture based.
Also by Neigh orleans I meant that's place strikes me as the least one sided in terms of sexuality so her pricking up a "sexuality" based on the actions of other around seems unusual, again it's not a big thing and I'm almost certainly taking it more seriously than needed still.

You need to adjust the ending. Because honestly I can read that last line just as easily as "Okay, you don't need to pay me for the month."

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