Everypony knows what Spike feels for Rarity. Except for the latter of course. Due to some misunderstanding, Rarity innocently forces Spike to spend an evening with Sweetie Belle... Awkwardness ensues.
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Pony-Berserker
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lol
this was funny ok
ARRGH, MY SPARITY BONER!
maybe i should read it first
That was great, I loved how you had Rarity play her part.
Oh dat Scootaloo!
Not sure how i feel about this story....
Eh, not a bad story but I just can't see Spike and Sweetie being the same age.
Omigod... that scootaloo part! I'm dying!
Post-read: It was nice. +fav
The prose is kind of, ah, telly. It couldn't hurt to run an editing pass over it. But this is a good story at heart! I kind of like that the ending/epilogue is a bit of a downer, too.
This was fairly funny. Only critique I'd make is to take care that you maintain the same tense throughout the piece. For example, in the sentence,
it should be that "he had little chance with her." It has to be all the same.
This story was... okay. But it felt very short and empty. I read the description expecting a far more fleshed-out story than this... bizarre one-shot. I feel like having a crush on both ponies would be a great source of conflict for Spike.
But instead, it goes, "What am I gonna do?" "I'm sure you'll figure it out someday." --STORY OVER.-- Me:
I liked this short story, and I don't think that you really need to expand upon it if you don't want to. It has a cliffhanger which would be good to leave as an openended question or could allow for more work to be done in the story.
Continue this. This instant.
Will you continue this story?
Ok.
First paragraph:
This is a very tell-y paragraph, shown quickly at the beginning with "Spike was observing Rarity's house from nearby bushes". Nothing is explained about the bushes or anything, and there is no mention of the day at all despite the next sentence containing "That was one of those days". The whole paragraph continues in the same awkward flow, which needs some serious revising. "He obviously knew" - this is the narration speaking, yet it is gathering an opinion. "Obviously" is an opinion someone makes when they think something is too plain to see. "Therefore" cuts in at an awkward moment as well, and there should be a comma following after. The next sentence is also relatively short, ends too abruptly and has some tense confusion, as mentioned before by another comment. The next sentence is also very awkward, but I think I've covered these things enough so far.
I'd strongly suggest getting an editor for this, as I found the first paragraph a little bothersome to go through (too awkward). I won't get into too much detail, so I'll leave it at this.
Poor Spike can't win for loosing
Oooh, I love this paring!
SpiBelle... but then... ah... nothing happens?
1452714
I totally agree.
Well, ah, I can't really upvote this (not badly enough written by any means to deserve a downvote, either). I don't know... *scurries away*
SORCERY!MAGIC!
Thoughts are italics without quotations.
Missed the cap on Belle. Also it seems to be missing a bit of the sentence.
Aside from that most of the previous comments point out a few things.
This need's a sequel.
But I thought the reason she didn't want to date spike was she had a crush on SB or SL.
I know you did this a one-shot, but it needs MOAR
Daaaaaawwww so much wub
for the record, I dont like Sparity, so this like the funniest thing that can happen to him considering that sweetie belle won't date him either
It's a great idea, just seems it needs something... more. As in more story. As in you should totally continue with this story!
The language is a bit rough too, but certainly forgivable - that is, so long as you write more chapters.
NO PRESSURE!
Bwah? That totally threw me for a loop. I was expecting something different for sure. Especially since I've read a few stories with the same initial premise somehow. This one definitely had an amusing ending. Well done.
To be honest I really dislike Spike/Rarirty and this is my favorite pairing, though you have a few grammer errors I'm rather impressed by this and am hoping you make another one, though I really love the idea of Spike/Scootaloo as well and for a second I thought I saw a bit of Spilight but that could just be the fact that I'm such a huge fan of the pairing (my favorite with SpikeBelle being second) and I'm very glad I read this.
And was I senseing a small amount of Fluttershy/Rarity? I LOVE that pairing.
First of all, thanks for all your comments
1452645 1453791 1453456 1452962 1452828 1452812 1452758
Oh, well guys, I didn't really plan a sequel. I'm rather surprised that you want it
Well, I can think of it but don't want to force myself to write a bad sequel.
And once again, thanks, really.
please continue, i wish to read more
1455140
I'm just a bit confused about whether Sweetie was "just surprised" and delaying her real answer until later, or if she really doesn't want to date Spike. If the second of these options is true, that's hilarious and you could garner some more laughs in the final scene by having her talk about how much she doesn't want to date him.
A sequel would be interesting to read, purely in terms of where the heck you're going to take it from this point. One of the things this story leaves open to interpretation is that we don't see what Rarity really thinks of Spike.
this all got started because of that stupid season finalie.
Why? 
1455632
Huh? What do you mean?
you know that photo at the end of the episode when they where taken togther? that,s how it got started
1455692
I know the one your talking about and I too would like to see this one continued. I mean it sounded like Scootaloo likes Spike at the end so... I'd really like to see how this will go and if there is even a Spike Apple Bloom date as well, then even more interesting. Spike... You are in for one massive headache. Good luck buddy.
i'm more interested in the AppleSpike shipping>>1455965
1455692
Well, I remember now... But didn't think of it while writing this story
read my story,
spread the word
And then....
The Sweetest Gem
How dense can she really be? SERIOUSLY!!!!!!!
images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20110821192302/mlp/images/7/77/Spike_T_shirt_Rarity_heart_S1E20.png
1456249
Spike and any CMC is fine with me but I haven't seen many AppleSpike pairings so that be nice as well. Author please continue and surprise us.
Spike the Pimp.
Brilliant
I lied. This fic never made it to the read list. I decided I might as well read now it since it's so short.
"“Sure! I’m gonna bring the dolls!”" I stopped and laughed at this.
Okay...let's see...I definitely see a 'next' here...
IDEA:
another date with Sweetie and Spike with him all lovey dovey and Sweetie fighting back her disgust and then later when she talks it over with her friends Scoots isn't there because she's got her own plan to win Spike's heart. All ends in hilarious disaster for Spike and he finally has to tell the truth. It's a start, right? I hope this sparks an idea.
Anyone considered that Rarity may be taking Trolling lessons from Trollestia?
1476011
Poor Spike
And yay
for Sweetie Belle she's awesome as always 
Random fact of the day: The orbital friendship cannon was originally constructed to make Twilight's friendship experiences less awkward.
Sufficed to say the project failed miserably. It only took 25 trillion bits to construct!
Wait, if Twilight hatched Spike when she was a little filly and when Twilight grew up. And Spike still being a baby dragon, does that still mean that if Rarity does end up with Spike does that still make Rarity a pedophile? Because he is just as old as Twilight in pony years.
Ha ha ha! That was hilarious!
Sweetie Belle was trying to be naive? That surprised me! And Scootaloo at the end...
You get a like and a favorite!
A little rushed... But it has Spike in it - all is forgiven
can you make a second chapter please?
Age (In)/Appropriate!?