The Breaking of the Squad
~New York City... the world of Humans~
Detective Kate Beckett tapped her pencil against her desk. To her right her partner, crime author Richard Castle, was playing with a GI Joe figure he’d found in the Lost and Found box. Their latest case had been wrapped up two days ago when, in a rare twist, the fingerprints on the gun matched their suspect and he confessed. No wild goose chases, no long hours spent examining clues that didn't make sense, no family members who would appear sad at the beginning of the case then turn out to be the killer... nothing.
In other words, utter boredom.
"Remember when we were the focus of defender2222's fics," Castle said.
"Huh?" Kate said.
"You know... when we turned into ponies... back then Tydal was just a supporting character and not the author's favorite go to."
"I think Faith is his favorite... wait, what are you talking about? Who is defender2222?"
"The writer of this fic... I'm breaking the fourth wall, Pinkie Pie style."
"Castle, you might not want to do that... I think the fourth wall is barely holding together as is."
"Come on, it can survi-"
CRACK!
Kate looked at the computer on her desk, those screen had shattered."Nice going, Castle!"
The writer grimaced. "Hey, this would have never happened if people had read our story and ignored that Scootaloo fic!"
The God Squad
Episode 40: The Breaking of the Squad
"Hello there, gentleponies and mares! Joke Rivers here, dishing the dirt, insulting the stars, and greeting all the stars and sluts as they turn out to this major event: The Coronation of Princess Twilight Sparkle." The pale white unicorn with a face so tight it looked like a ghost mask glanced towards her camera man and smiled (or maybe she was trying to lick her lips but all the surgery she had gone through had killed her ability to do so). "The biggest news is of course the no-show of Lord Tydal and the Capricorn Nation. Rumors have been swirling that the sea god has broken all peace treaties with Equestria and is now looking to become a trading partner with- Oh, it is Fany Pants! Fancy, Fancy!"
The suave pony trotted over to Joke Rivers and smiled politely. "Hello my dear."
"Hello yourself. Tell us, who are you wearing?"
"Oh, this is from the Rarity line... a rather exclusive piece, I might add."
"And it shows!" Joke Rivers waved her hoof. "Oh, Princess Luna, Princess Luna, can I have a word?"
"DEMON PONY!" Luna screamed in fear, grabbing the TV camera and bludgeoning Joke into a bloody mess. "Don't worry, loyal subjects, I have beaten it.”
"Princess, that was just a reporter," Logic Point said. “You can’t just violently beat ponies up, it is horrible and wrong!”
"...I miss Tydal," Luna whimpered.
~MC~MC~MC~
Shining Armor was a silent as a tomb as the carriage rumbled towards Canterlot Castle. Cadence shifted uneasily next to him, playing with her bejeweled shoes. All around them ponies were cheering the coming of Princess Twilight (well, except for the communist ponies, but who cares about them?) but inside the carriage there was no joy or mirth.
"You... you look very nice, Shining."
"Thank you," the unicorn said quietly. "You as well."
"Thank you... my new maid is quite wonderful. She tends to smell like waffles, but that is ok because I like waffles." Shining nodded, feeling no need to add anything. "Did your mother help-"
"Yes," Shining said, cutting her off.
"Oh... how is Velvet?"
"Fine."
"Good."
The two of them lapsed into silence, only the cheers of the crowd outside filling the silence that hung between them like a bloody knife waiting to fall.
"You... you could have stayed at the palace," Cadence finally said. All of this felt so awkward and horrible and even through the fog her medication put her in she could sense that things were spiraling out of control. "It is big enough-"
"You know I couldn't do that." Shining rubbed his forehead. "This isn't easy for me either... but the sooner this is done the sooner we can announce it and move on with our lives."
"Yes... announce our divorce," Cadence said, her eyes going fuzzy and hollow.
"Yes."
"What... what happened to us Shining?" Cadence asked. "How could this have happened? I love-"
"Don't," Shining said gently. "Please... don't." He sighed. "I will always love you, Cadence, but I am not happy." He shook his head, eyes shut. "I wish I could say that we could be together but... but I look at you and I don't see the Cadence I love." He looked up at the roof of the carriage and sighed. "It's funny... all those weeks worried about you and your PTSD and your using sex as a weapon... and it turns out that I loved that aspect of you more than... this."
"This is the real me, Shining," Cadence said gently. Her brain felt so muddled, like it was full of cotton candy; she had taken a triple dose for the event, knowing that the craziness of the coronation would only aggravate her condition. Now she wished she had just flushed the pills away.
"No it isn't. This is just a product of drugs. The real Cadence is free and fun... even before our wedding you were so willing to just live life. But now you are just so mellow and subdued... I look at you and it is like the Cadence I knew and loved is dead. All that is left is this strange shell that stares blankly at times and will randomly do that Ladybug song."
"Shining, I-"
The unicorn shook his head. "No... we can appear together here to keep up appearances, but this is the end." The carriage stopped and Shining sighed. "Forget about me Cadence. Find someone that can love this... side of you. I wish you all the best and all the happiness you deserve."
“You tell her, Shining Armor!” the evil muffin said, its wrapper now designed to look like Cadence’s dress. It floated around the unicorns head and giggled. “Come on, let’s get jiggy with it!”
And with that he stepped out, forcing a smile on his face.
Cadence took out more of her medicine. “Everypony’s going to say that muffin wore the dress best…”
~MC~MC~MC~
"Things have gone quite well," Celestia said, taking a sip of champagne.
"Yes," Luna said simply, watching as Twilight giggled with her friends. “I could do without wearing this getup, though… I feel like the centerpiece at a wedding.”
“Oh, don’t be so-“
“Excuse me, Princess?” Granny Smith said, heading over to her. “Ya mind if I take home that dark blue centerpiece after the party?”
“I… am not… a centerpiece,” Luna ground out.
“Lordy lord it talks!” Granny screamed. “Evil centerpiece, evil centerpiece! Big Macintosh, git the holy water!”
Luna watched her run away and rolled her eyes. “See?”
Celestia glanced down at her sister and smiled slightly. "Little sister, do try and be happy. This is a wonderful event."
"Is it?" Luna said softly, resisting the urge to scream. She wanted to shout and holler and stomp her hooves but she didn't want to ruin the great time Twilight was having.
"Of course... Twilight has achieved her destiny."
"Yes... and what a destiny," Luna said dryly, magically grabbing another bottle of wine and deciding to forgo the glass and just drink it straight. “What a destiny indeed.”
"You are upset," Celestia stated. Luna gave her the driest of looks and Celestia cringed, realizing just how stupid that sounded.
"No no... I agree that Twilight has quite a destiny. Let us ignore the fact that to reach it she was lied to, forced to face terrors without the proper aid, and made to feel so inadequate that it is a wonder she is not curled up in a corner. Pressure builds pearls, right? The ends justify the means."
"Correct," Celestia said softly, agreeing even as she sensed that things were not going to take a turn to her liking.
"But she survived and now she has her destiny... a destiny where she will have two choices. She could end up like you, a princess who uses ponies for her own twisted games. An utterly noble destiny, if one is to believe the songs and poems that are written about you and your glorious reign."
"I-"
"Let... me... finish," Luna ground out. "Oh yes, Twilight will play such wonderful tricks on her friends and her future students. She will lie to their faces and hold their dreams in her hoof then stomp them flat. She will choose the course of their lives and never let them have a say. Never mind if they don’t want to do the things she desires… she will just guilt them into doing it. She learned from you, didn’t she?” Luna took another long swig of wine. “She will teach them that destiny should be fought and you should follow your heart... then demand that those under her do what SHE wants, no matter what THEIR hearts say! Fight destiny… until a princess tells you not to fight it."
"Luna-"
"It won't matter who she hurts. So what if she drives two ponies far from their home and sends them to some faraway empire? Yes, their marriage might crumble but at least the Crystal Heart was protected!” Luna glanced at Shining Armor, who was putting on a brave face as he talked to Twilight. Cadence, when no one noticed, was popping more pills. “Or maybe she will choose to focus on the mission rather than the feelings of the capricorn she sees as her fa....fa..." Luna blinked away tears, knocking Celestia's hoof aside when she tried to comfort her. "Don't touch me. Don’t you dare touch me."
"Luna, you must see-"
"Yes, I do see. I see all too well Twilight's destiny. Of course, there is another choice... the one you gave me." Luna turned her eyes towards Celestia and for a moment they were like dragon-slits. “To have power and still be treated like a child, to be coddled and babied. What a wonderful destiny that is.” Luna threw the wine bottle away, smirking as it shattered. “I’m moving out.”
“What?” Celestia said in shock, her knees going weak.
“I am moving out.” Luna sighed, forcing herself to smile, even if it was the slightest of smiles. "After all, I am a big pony and can not be forever living under your shadow, big sister. As you were so kind to remind Tydal-" Celestia grimaced, "-we are all grown up now."
"Of... of course... but..."
Luna let out a long, heavy sigh. "Goodbye, Celestia."
"Good... goodbye, Luna," Celestia whispered, watching as her little sister disappeared into the crowd. She trotted over to Cadence, who was blankly watching Shining and Twilight talk. "My dear... sometimes I wonder if all of this is worth the pain.... Cadence, why aren't you breathing?"
Cadence toppled over, foam pouring out of her mouth.
"She's over dosed!" Twilight cried in a panic.
“Maybe it is just foamy pride!” Shining called out.
“That doesn’t exist!” Twilight snapped.
“She’s right, Shining,” the evil muffin said
“Shut up, evil muffin!”
"Quick, let's leave her in front of a nightclub!" Vinyl Scratch (who was not DJing the event but instead had come for the free food) called out. When every stared at her she merely shrugged. "Well, that is what they did for River Phoenix and he turned out ok... right?"
~MC~MC~MC~
I've heard there was a secret chord
That David played, and it pleased the Lord
But you don't really care for music, do you?
It goes like this
The fourth, the fifth
The minor fall, the major lift
The baffled king composing Hallelujah
In his Keep, Tydal looked at a series of enchanted paintings he had gotten done of him and the alicorn sisters when they were just fillies. He stared at them, his hoof gently running along the frame, his eyes locked on his sisters' giggling faces, before he broke down, crying so hard that the seas churned and the sky went dark. Rain pelted the coast and Merida hurried in, hugging her husband as he sobbed. Even Mr. Snippy scuttled over and laid down at his master's hooves (and held up the genitals he had snipped off some pony a few hours ago... Tydal would enjoy playing with them more than he would).
And still he cried.
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
~MC~MC~MC~
Your faith was strong but you needed proof
You saw her bathing on the roof
Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you
She tied you
To a kitchen chair
She broke your throne, and she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah
Shining sighed as he laid on his childhood bed. He'd moved back into his parents' house and he honestly didn't know what he was going to do with his life. He had no wife, no job (he'd quit the guard when he moved to the Crystal Empire) and he was filled with so much anger it had consolidated into a small flying muffin.
There was only one thing left to do... embrace being a loser.
Shining Armor trotted over to his shelf and grabbed some Batstallion comic books... it was time to read them, become mad, and bitch about them to anyone that would listen.
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
~MC~MC~MC~
Maybe I have been here before
I know this room, I've walked this floor
I used to live alone before I knew you
I've seen your flag on the marble arch
Love is not a victory march
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah
Luna sighed as she signed her renter's agreement. It wasn't quite the castle, but she was truly on her own... no Celestia looking over her shoulder... no Celestia complaining when she didn't behave like a proper princess... no Celestia to talk to when she got lonely... no Celestia to play cards with (they had a weekly poker night)... no Celestia...
Luna lowered her head, trotting into her little apartment and shutting the door.
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
~MC~MC~MC~
There was a time
You let me know
What's real and going on below
But now you never show it to me, do you?
And remember when I moved in you?
The holy dark was moving to
And every breath we drew was Hallelujah
Cadence laid in the hospital bed, her body in a full cast. She hadn't needed one, but the doctors had found out that she had a GREAT HMO and decided to take her to the cleaners.
She stared at the ceiling... the ticking of a clock her only company.
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
~MC~MC~MC~
Maybe there's a god above
And all I ever learned from love
Was how to shoot at someone who outdrew you
And it's not a cry you can hear at night,
It's not somebody who's seen the light
It's cold and it's a broken Hallelujah
Celestia listened as another pony outlined their petition to the crown. She said... something, she wasn't for sure what... and then nodded towards her guards, who informed her subjects that it was time for the princess to take her nap (naps being VERY important to Equestrian royalty). She looked at the new stain glass window she had commissioned, which depicted her, Luna, Shining Armor, Cadence and Tydal walking towards the Changeling hive, and let out a depressed sigh.
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
"I don't know why you are so glum!" Discord said, popping up next to her. "defender2222 already said he is doing a season 2... this is obviously the Mood Whiplash chapter that leaves everything as a cliffhanger so the readers will go read the new fic in hopes of learning how you and the rest of the squad get back together!"
"...what?"
"I mean, he even has the poster made, see!"
Celestia frowned. "Discord, I have no idea what you are talking about. What poster, what cliffhanger..."
Discord grinned. "This one!"
~MC~MC~MC~
Dr. Whooves, Dinky, and Mary the red maned, black coated alicorn stood on the bridge of the Tardis, their jaws hanging low as they stared at the command screen. There was Derpy... only half of her body had been replaced with machinery.
"I am Derputus of the Borg..." Derpy intoned. "All your muffins will be assimilated."
"...Doctor..." Dinky said calmly. "Fire."
END OF SEASON 1
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And so ends Season 1 of The God Squad. Somehow The Abundance is getting funnier and this is getting darker... huh?
I want to thank every person that took the time to review and hope you will continue to review when Season 2 comes out. Keep your eye out on my blog for the announcement of its posting.
Take some time to go to this fic's TvTrope's page and add some detail. If you have suggests of things you'd like to see in season 2, let me know.
Again, thanks, and see ya soon!
I would like to see Faith meet Tydal and have a very confusing conversation. Great cliffhanger that is actually not really a cliffhanger, cannot wait for season 2
wait erm wha ehh waaaaaaadafuuuuckkkkk....My mind is full of marbles now, but this is hilariously depressing, i havent read scotaloo story thing but it seems nice,
Man, that song was just perfect in there!
And oh yes, feels and all that
2217191
Yes, because how dare he be angry that Celestia went behind his back to resurrect the creature (while refusing to tell any pony WHY she was doing it) that almost destroyed Equestria twice AND mortally wounded Tydal so bad that he had to be turned to stone for 1,500 years.. a creature that also threatened Tydal's family, including his wife and children. He should have happily allowed Celestia to bring back a mass murderer without question.
Yes, clearly Celestia was in the right and Tydal shouldn't have been upset.
That ending with Derputus was the best part.
Anyway, this was an amusing ending to the story, considering it started out as a comedy. I enjoyed every bit, and I shall wait with baited breath for season 2. The parts with Shining and Cadence was particularly poignant, though; I have to admit that my eyes got a little watery at times.
AGH!
Wait, what? ...
There will be more, I know there will, I will be calm...
OH GOD I WANT IT NOW!
Wow... that was... a strange mix of feels and laughs. How the hell did you get me to feel upset and still laugh about a lobster snipping off genitals?
again with the feels
just be sure to fix this fast. candance overcoming her ptsd without the drugs would be nice. could get a best of both worlds thing going.
The only thing I can think of...
Welcome to Atop the Fourth Wall, where bad comics burn!
Shining Armor's gonna teach you all, a lesson you won't learn!
That is one of the most depressing endings to a comedy, I have ever read. The Squad all ending up separating and hating each other and their whole world turns to complete shit. There was one place Shining could have gone to and that was the hive, it's like living in Disney World...mmm...churos.
It went from a happy adventure fic with some raunchy jokes to just hateful jokes and depression. This story needs a Prozac, FAST!
2217191
Have you ever felt needed? Have you ever felt wanted? Let me tell you, there's nothing worse than being needed/wanted, and then somebody telling you that you're NOT needed, that you're NOT wanted anymore. Tydal, for all his brutality, is a father. And his surrogate children have now told him that he's no longer needed as a father. Which is the LAST thing any father wants to hear.
Well, that was depressing. Excellent song placement.
Looking forward to season 2.
But the TARDIS doesn't have weapons...
Wow this has to be one of the biggest downer endings I've ever seen. And I just got done watching Season 2 of Transformers Prime.
Please hurry up and bring Season 2 out soon. We need to see things be resolved.
2217422 True, but there are weapons that The Doctor has collected inside of the TARDIS.
Wow, I feel like I got ran over by the feels bus, and it hurt.
Seriously, for a bit there, I was thinking everypony was going to end up curled up in the fetal position, but thank Celestia that didn't happen. Still, I am really interested in seeing where it goes from here. Here's hoping things get patched up eventually.
2217526 i cried
i tried not to, but i cried i really did i still have tears trickling down my cheeks 
eatchain.com/garbage/old%20big%20boss%20salute111.jpg
Goodnight sweet fic, till next season.
You know, as much as Celestia done bucked up, I can't help but feel like she's at least partly a victim of circumstance, too. Yes, the three pony tribes who were jockeying for power when she and Luna were fillies were tribalcentric bags of dicks (to paraphrase everyone's favorite Asari bartender) but Tydal was SO overprotective in raising them that it was a long time before she was exposed to any ponies who either weren't trying to use her as a tool to increase their own power or weren't being terrorized by Tydal for his personal amusement. Is it really any surprise that she grew up not knowing how to really connect with anypony?
But enough of the melancholy. I'm looking forward to seeing how the band gets back together for Season 2!
Wouldn´t be ironic if it´s up to Twilight, Chrysalis and maybe Discord to reunite the Divine Family again?
So this ended depressing... Until next season. Which is good cause I liked it and its regular update schedule. So hmmm, honestly, I think I liked Chrysalis the most out of the "Gods" so I hope we'll see more of her next season. (Where she is apparently part of the main cast, so we'll probably see more of her.) And since you've asked for
here's my thought's and some hopes for next season.
Now that Discord's out and since Twilight is apparently the daughter of NMM and Discord, I'd like to see some interactions between those three cause I flipping love that subplot. Also because Luna should mature just a little she has a kid and all. Oh and I gotta say Celestia didn't really seem to do a ton in the main body of the story, at least nothing that comes to mind, so maybe a bit bigger part for her, like she makes a plan and tells everyone (because as she learned here, you should tell allies your plans) and then everyone just starts ruining it and she gets all mad or something. Though I do love interactions between Luna and Celestia and hope those continue. Also kinda hoping Shining gets stuck in a love triangle between Cadance and Chrysalis (seriously, your Chrysalis was fun). Would be amusing. Another subplot I love is the Derpy and Doctor stuff. Especially that one where she straight kills River Song while Dinky is being super bloodthirsty. Loved that, hope to see more. Maybe the Doctor meets Rolly or see's that Rolly is at the castle and freaks out that the Dalek's are coming or something. I'm also not sold on the Mary Sue stuff, so I'll pass on commenting on that subplot, and I thought the story of Angel v Blueblood was fairly amusing, but went on for a little too long, not that it really mattered.
And Tydal finds a new and inventive mode of execution! Decapitation through extreme mood whiplash!
When will the sequel likely be up?
Just remembered a quote from a movie I've never seen, but they like to play it on a radio show I listen to. Since there's no Luna icon, the part of Luna will be played by the Twilight Sparkle from Faith & Doubt.
This ending was extremely depressing, the cliffhanger one of the worst i've seen and you are a total Twat...... and i absolutely love you for this.
I totally remember using this title at one point for quite a while. Seems like a good story and I might read it later.
I honestly saw this coming, though I would have enjoyed the series being wrapped up. I'll read the new one anyways and see how it goes. Maybe I'm wrong and season two will be amazing. We'll just have to see.
i'd like to propose this as Alternate ending music.
Noes, a downer ending to Season 1!
Curse you, evil muffin!
Can't wait for Season 2.
I don't know if your going for something like this but I thought of something that leaves Celestia's machinations in a sympathetic light. Tydal was gone from making the ultimate sacrifice against Discord, and Luna had gone mad and thus was trapped in the moon at Celestia's own hoof. She had to spend 1000 years alone having seen the ones she loved most leave her life. I think I can see how it would be easier for her to withdraw herself from the present and instead focus on the future. If she spends every moment focusing on the future and seeing the present only as something to be manipulated to get to that future, it would be bearable.
she could get attached to ponies that are not immortal and will leave her eventually, but she cant get attached to chess pieces and thus wont be hurt when they are no longer with her. Now the future is here but she is still stuck in her self protective mindset. As long as she views her immortal family as tools for a greater good she can always look forward to the future, and they cant hurt her when they leave.
That was my take on it anyway as I read this chapter. Also is Discord going to be involved in the next story? He is family, and not evil anymore.
Mutherfucker just swag.mov us
Well played.
Dang it, man. this is the fic i go to for laughs so i can get away from the feels! why did you make it so depressing at the end?
WHERE DID THESE FEELS COME FROM?
Celestia... is a bitch.
OH GODS!!!! A Termantior Derpy, I would pay to see that shit
evil muffins for the win. Damn.....even a Goddess needs to be a normal pony huh? And now we have the Goddess of Magic
START THE SPILIGHTS!!!Anyway.....damn, Celestia is cruel, that's bucked up. i'm reminded of Sherk because of the song
Wow....everyone has serious problems, can't be easy being a god
And just thought of something you could use in season two: Have the five go into the Dragon Empire with Spike and Twilght and meet the five dragon gods ruling over the land, I'll even give you a dragon god OC if you wish, and you can also have a subplot in which Fluttershy goes completely batshit crazy and triesd to destory Equestria and even the Gods along with Derpy and the evil muffin but fails because you know....they are gods and everything suddenly turns back to normal.
Hell, you can even have Derpy and Dicsord word together to rule Equestria before Derpy betrays Discord (how do you betray a god?) LOL, anyway, tell me what you think bro.
What is this feeling? Whatever it is, it hurt bad, really bad mate.
wow...it ended...atleast there's a sequel...that song made me think of Shrek
2219555
As a joke. The whole point of this last chapter was to do a mood whiplash, then have Discord lampshade the fact that I was doing just that. Don't worry, the sequel will not be a grimdark fic (as one or two reviewers have stated... which I find hilarious)... it will be pure comedy/parody
Why, hello Mr. Cerberus Syndrom.
GET THE BUCK OUT OF THIS SERIES!!!
2217309 Yeah, you're not the only one. I can see it now; the part of the futon will be played by Wall Breaker the Fourth, and Evil Muffin can be his Pollo.
2217628
I tend to agree, if only because Discord makes everything better.
Also...so, question: is there going to be a break between now and the season 2 story, or are you planning on sticking to the four day update cycle? Just wondering.
2220057 That's good to know. hopefully i'll get to read the first chapter soon so it can lift my spirits a bit with a good laugh.
I can relate to this... I have a similar reaction whenever I see Joan Rivers on TV...
And yes, I completely had to listen to Hallelujah as I read the end of this story... though I'm partial to the Jeff Buckley version. Very fitting. Looking forward to season 2!
2220364
There will be a short break as I want to get a bit ahead, but nothing major... i would say at most Season 2 will take a week, at the least 4 days.
Season 2 may be coming out for this fic but the feels through out it all...img25.imageshack.us/img25/4409/overlordv.jpg
At least it isn't a long wait
so Celestia now only has Discord left to keep her company ? Dayum
but the God Squad shall rise again !
SEQUEL NOW !!!!
Surprisingly enough (to me), this didn't land that far from my predictions...
The whiplash may have been too hard for me to say I'm looking forward to the next story...
Mood Whiplash also happens to be one of the only TV Tropes pages I've heard of but haven't read.
This is a brilliant ploy. Ending the comedy story with this... depressing stuff so that we come back for more in the form of a sequel.
Such a sad ending to the story, soon as the song started I was thinking of the scene from Shrek. Good job on this story and looking forward to the sequel.