Sombra Come Home!
Meanwhile, in the Anti-Matter Universe...
"Princess Corona!" the guard shouted, hurrying through the dark and dank halls of the Canterlot Fortress. Lining the walls of that horrid place were all manner of innocent ponies, each of whom were in various stages of torture, which included but were not limited to the breaking of bones and wet willies (which are very evil). The screams of the damned echoed from shut doors and the guard, if he still had any sense of decency, would have shuddered at the sound.
"What is it, minion?" Princess Corona purred, using her magic to run a brush through her hair (of course, said mane was merely a long stream of flames, so the comb was made of asbestos and steel).
"I have received exciting news!" the guard proclaimed. "The Crystal Kingdom has returned!"
Corona nodded to herself before sending a blast of fire at the guard, reducing him to ashes. "Do not tell me what I should be excited about." She looked herself over in the mirror, vainly applying just a touch more eyeshadow to her dark, sultry eyes, before looking towards the shadows. "I know you are there, sister. Stop being such a sneak and appear."
Nightmare Moon oozed out of the darkness, her fanged mouth twisted in a pout. "You never let me have my fun," she complained.
"That is because I am the greatest and you are only second rate." Corona turned her back on her sister, careful to keep the mirror in front of her so she could keep an eye on the dark wraith. She wouldn't put it past Nightmare to try to assassinate her... again. "You have heard the news?"
"Indeed... what does this mean for our profits?"
Corona did the math in her head. Their criminal empire was built on bits and everything that occurred in Equestria was measured by how much it would cost or earn them. Those things that did little to affect the bottom line were allowed to survive, to give the wretched peasants something to cling to. But things like this, that could result in massive profits or a loss of millions... these things required the sisters' complete attention.
Not that they liked working together. The sisters had always fought, having been raised to always compete by their brother, Darkwater Abyss, the barbarian king of the capricorn horde. He had raised them to believe that life was a race to the top and winning was the only option. The lesson had been learned well when Stable, the spirit of harmony, had turned the horde to stone for 1,500 years after they had wiped out 99% of the griffins.
After that, things had gotten messy. Nightmare had fallen for Stable's power and decided to fight on the side of good, becoming Princess Luna (a truly stupid name, in Corona's opinion). It had taken a 1000 years on the moon and torture by Corona's top lieutenant, Nightfall Eclipse, and her five generals to get Luna to see the true power of evil and return to the winning side. Their first act had been to free Darkwater... though they had only done that because they could only unseal his vaults with him alive and well.
Everything had been going well though... Darkwater had gathered his horde and gone abroad to remind the other races that he was still a terror, while the sisters were left to watch over Equestria. Once he returned the three of them could stop pretending to like each other and begin to battle to whip each other out.
Then the Crystal Kingdom had returned...
"You know the old saying, sister," Nightmare prodded, "'Whatever happens in the Kingdom happens for all'."
Corona remembered well. The magic of the Crystal ponies meant that when they were under the yolk all thoughts of free will left the rest of Equestria. All the pesky rebellions would be stomped out and more money could go to Corona's wardrobe budget if they controlled the Kingdom.
"I suggest our slut of a niece and her gimp... they would be able to... whip... the Crystal Ponies into shape."
Nightmare grinned. "I love it."
"Of course... I thought of it," Corona stated, turning back to her mirror.
The God Squad
Episode 37: Sombra Come Home!
~Back in the normal world...~
"So... this is the Crystal Empire," Shining Armor said, looking at all the dull ponies (both in personality and in coat). "Not as... glittery as I expected."
"They do seem a bit down."
"Eh, we are down," one of crystal ponies that had been assigned to walk them to the palace said. He was wearing the traditional Crystal Empire guards' uniform: a red jacket and a little brown mountie hat. "We're aboot as depressed as a curling champ at a flapjack house that's out of syrup, eh."
Shining leaned in close to Cadence. “I think he has brain damage.”
"Be nice," Cadence said gently, causing the little smile Shining had been wearing to fail. "Well, I promise that Shining Armor and I will dedicate every waking moment to helping you all."
"Uh... every waking moment?" Shining said as they passed a Tim Hortons.
"Of course, Shining... we have to help these noble ponies out of their sadness. Now then, I think-"
Shining cut her off. "Right right, of course... I just mean... well... when are we supposing to... you know."
"Know what?"
"You know... shove the hydra in the happy maker?"
Cadence gave him a gentle, chaste kiss on the cheek. "Shining, there will be plenty of time to express our love for one another in a mature, simple, conventional manner, but right now these ponies need us. The pleasure we share between ourselves will have to wait."
"... I so hate how you are on these meds."
"What was that?"
"Nothing!" Shining said quickly. He turned towards the Crystal Palace and let out a quiet sigh. “Nothing at all…”
~MC~MC~MC~
“Luna… what are you doing?”
The dark alicorn sighed, looking up from her work bench. “I am trying to teach a Furby how to beat the Turring test but all I can get it to do is speak in some strange Furby language.”
“Me encantan los culos grandes y yo no puedo mentir,” the Furby chirped.
"Damn Furby speech!"
Celestia pursed her lips together. “I thought we were going to work on our secret plan to bring out Twilight’s inner alicorn blood without letting her know that she is your daughter.”
Luna did not bother to look at her sister. “I don’t feel like it.”
“… what’s wrong?” Celestia said softly, moving to stand next to her little sister. “You only attempt to create sentient robots when you are depressed.”
The moon goddess blew a strand of hair out of her eyes (‘what is the use of long, magical manes if they can still get in your eyes?’). “I was rude to Tydal and I think I really upset him.”
Celestia draped a wing over her sister’s back. “Tydal is a big goat…fish… thing. He understands that you were just frustrated because…”
“I am going through my hormonal bleeding cycle?”
“I was going to make it a bit nicer but your way works.” Celestia gently used her magic to whisk the Furby away.
"!Ay caramba!" the Furby screamed.
“I… I just feel so bad. I know what he is going through… both of us were gone for many centuries and now the world has changed. We both struggled but I… I had you. You guided me. But with him… I just feel like we aren’t doing enough; especially when you consider that he raised us like his own children.”
Celestia shut her eyes. The sisters had never said the word to him, but both of them knew that Tydal wasn’t the closest thing they had to a father… he WAS their father. He had raised them, taught them, loved them and nearly died for them. The only thing keeping them from saying that one word was their fear of crossing some invisible line that would later change everything.
“Luna, you know Tydal loves us and you know it would take more than us snapping at him once and a while to drive him away.”
“But-“
“Little sister, trust me… I am sure that right now, Tydal is out having a bite to eat and will be back here at any moment…”
“Cue inappropriate music montage…” Wall Breaker said as he walked past them.
~MC~MC~MC~
Tydal grinned happily, trotting through the park, King Sombra glaring at him, trying to chew through the leash the sea god had somehow managed to put on him. The capricorn went over an ice cream cart (manned by a trembling pony) and got himself and Sombra each a double scoop of chocolate, then went to sit on a bench.
Sombra stared at the ice cream, sticking out his tongue to take his first lick, only for his scoops to fall on the ground. He looked at his fallen ice cream, then at Tydal.
The capricorn grinned, glancing at his own cone… before using his magic to steal another cone from the vendor, the pony screaming bloody murderer at them as Tydal and Sombra happily ran away.
~MC~MC~MC~
Sombra’s eyes were nearly bugging out of his head as he sat in the small rowboat Tydal had grabbed. Other ponies were also having eye-bugging reactions… mainly because Tydal had summoned a raging river in the middle of the main street of their town, laughing in delight as he and Sombra’s boat rocketed past shops.
The dark king managed to get a hold of himself long enough to grab the bricks they had brought with them and throw them through the storefront windows. Tydal nodded in approval before turning the river towards the greenhouse district, cackling the entire way.
~MC~MC~MC~
Tydal ran through the field of wild flowers, grinning as he spotted Sombra, who was running towards him as well. Tydal looked around, gazing at the beautiful flowers, before he leapt in the air and attacked the sleeping ursa major that was dozing in the meadow.
There was a splash of blood and pained screams… before a crimson-soaked Tydal and Sombra continued their trek through the meadow, forelegs wrapped around each other as the laughed.
~MC~MC~MC~
"Hi there!" Twilight Sparkle called out, waving to them as she walked by with Rolly Polly, the baby dalek she had kidnapped.
Tydal and Sombra looked at each other.
"Psycho..." Tydal whispered.
~MC~MC~MC~
“Grogo gra ga!”
“What’s that Wiggles?” Tydal asked, walking over to where Sombra was standing. The capricorn tilted his head, looking at the old well in confusion. “What’s that… a little pony is in the well?”
“Help me, sir, my name is Gak and I am trapped in the well! King Sombra pushed me in here!”
Tydal frowned. “Well, when I find that King Sombra I will kick him in the balls.” The sea god turned to the dark unicorn. “How should we get him out?”
“Gra gra!” Sombra exclaimed, pulling out several sticks of dynamite.
“Are you sure? I have never read anything that said ponies could survive dynamite.”
“Goga goc!”
“True, I’ve never read anything that said they couldn’t… fire in the hole!”
"Wait, never mind, I think i can get out of here my-"
BOOM!
Tydal blinked as a skull landed at his hooves. “Little Gak was a talking skeleton… good thing we blew him up! Nice work, Wiggles!”
~MC~MC~MC~
“You know… I never thought there could be such a thing as a perfect day.”
Sombra, who was lying next to Tydal and licking the blood from his hooves, nodded. “Graba goo ga!”
“You said it, Wiggles!” Tydal said, watching as the clouds drifted by. "You know, Wiggles, I think you are my best friend in the entire world."
"Gro gara!"
"Thanks buddy, I have been working out." Tydal stroked his beard. "And to think, Shining Armor said I could never handle having a pet! Well, I guess I showed him."
"Glib goop."
"You're right!" Tydal said, pounding one hoof against the other. "I haven't shown him because he hasn't seen the proof that I am a good pet owner!" Tydal leapt up, striking a dramatic pose. "Wiggles... we are going to the Crystal Empire!"
King Sombra stared at Tydal, a cruel smile forming on his lips before he began to laugh like the super villain he was.
Tydal merely smiled. "Is there anything sweeter than a doggie's laughter?"
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I know it is vain to say it, but the music montage makes me laugh so much. The song is JUST right enough that the wrongness of it is all the more funny.
Tydal calling Twilight a pyscho, well that's the pot calling the kettle black Tydal.
Also it looks like Shining Armor and Cadence's roles have been swapped and I must say, I love it.
No words can express the level of [insert word here] that is running though my mind right now.
First you make my brain flee my skull in terror after Secret Origins. Then you make it flee again with God Squad. And now my lungs have finally said "ENOUGH WITH THIS BULLSHIT! HE'S TRYING TO KILL US!!" And now they've abandoned me too. It's gonna take all day to track them down!
Oh god! XD i strongly suggest everyone read that with that song in the background (trying not to spoil it) God that was, in the language of the furbies, Muy Fantastico!
This was a pretty funny chapter, can't wait to see what shenanigans happen in the Crystal Empire
2166478 Tydal made a mad unicorn into a pet. Twilight kidnapped a infant of an omnicidal species. Her feat bets his.
Well.
Well then.
This has gotten rather boring.
WE NEED 150CC OF CORONA, STAT! Maybe her pal Heineken can help.
Thank you Spanish class, you have finally become useful to me... Furby's parts were hilarious and Sir Mix-a-lot would be proud.
That part with Tydal and Sombra was surprisingly d'awww
I love how Shining Armor misses the old Candence, while probably thinking of ways to negate her meds.
Now, just so I'm clear on the concept... Tydal is the good counterpart?
In the same vein, I can just imagine Twilight meeting her evil counterpart.
Hold on, you mean that Princess Corona doesn't put you through a lot of psychological manipulation every time she talks to you? She's actually direct with you?
Twilight:
Nightfall: Well, yeah. What good would I be as a minion of evil if my orders weren't clear?
Twilight: That's wonderful! Switch places with me!
Nightfall: You... did catch the 'minion of evil' thing, right? Or the part where if I fail an assignment, she'll probably skin me alive, starting with my--
Twilight: WE'RE SWITCHING, DAMMIT!!!
And poor Shining. Trapped in a sadistic comedy universe, where the love of his life switches from filling his heart with joy to... doing the same with other parts. Denied the happy medium that would allow him to completely love her with every organ in his body.
"fear of crossing some invisible line that would later everything."
What?
That song...that montage...can I hug you?
Gods, THAT made me laugh, I always hated Furbys, now I feel like buying one just to kick it around for the hell of it. And shit, Tydal sure knows how to have fun, I lost it when they killed Gak, ah that made my day....love the different universe, perfect. Gods this was funny as buck, you did great.
That montage was so wrong and yet so right.
Wiggles is best pony...
I freaking love you for the Turing Test mention.
So, what would it take to convince you that 'Inferno Sun' is better than 'Corona'?
God damn. Is everyone inserting spanish into their stories now. Pass me some hipster glasses.
Damn near died on the Tydal an furby parts
When I saw the title, it seemed familiar is it a reference to Peanuts or some other movie?
Seeing the medicated Cadance and Shining switch roles was hilarious as was the scenes of Tydal with Sombra the dog. Looking forward to what happens in the Crystal Empire and also hoping for a return of the crazier Cadance, the calm one is too odd for this story.
Sooo Anti-Tydal is pretty much regular Tydal, but without the capability to love anything? If they were really opposites, than Anti-Tydal should have been a True-Pacifest, Lawful evil overlord.
2167612
Alot. Corona is so much more dramatic then 'Sun'.
2168375
It is a reference to Snoopy Come Home and Lassie come home
2168884
Why would she have to have been born a werewolf? YOu can be bit any time
The damned are being given wet willies, you say?
Quick! Respond with a wedgie from beyond Uranus!
gatherer.wizards.com/Handlers/Image.ashx?multiverseid=74219&type=card
2166582
Infant nothing. Rolly Poly was a fully-grown Dalek hiding in the closet with Twilight.
2170498
I find your lack of reading comprehension disturbing.
2171075
Huh. I could've sworn Rolly Polly was fully-grown in TMSOoS. (Of course, in cannon Doctor Who I don't think there is such a thing as a "baby" Dalek.)
Edit:
Rolly Polly's first appearance:
Rolly Polly is named:
"Baby" is first used alongside Rolly Polly:
That seems more like an affectation than a descriptor of age, to me. Especially considering this is all in the aftermath of a Dalek attack, with the presumption that Rolly Polly is hiding in the closet to escape all the magic that's defeating them without difficulty.
2171286
Rollypolly is referred to as a baby Dalek in the story. That's good enough for me. If there's supplementary material, about a character that appeared in one line, I just don't want to know.
2171374
The God Squad is a sequel/spinoff/side story to The Many Secret Origins of Scootaloo. That's where Rolly Polly is from. It's not one line, it's like half a chapter (and appearing a few other times in later chapters, too, IIRC).
Respec' mah continuitah!
2171523
God Squad also established that Rollypolly did have a mom (a dalek in a blonde wig and a apron) that tried to get him back, leading to the Battle of Five Armors. His mom refers to Rolly as her 'baby'
2171876
BOOM, Word of God.
Great chapter, the music made the montage that much better
2172750
I hate it too but it was just too good of a joke not to run with it. The song sorta works but when you realize that it is suppose to be a love song and none of the lyrics work with the montage... it just makes it funny.
Sir-Mixa-Lot agrees.
10zenmonkeys.com/images/Dancer%20from%20Sir%20Mix-a-Lot%20Baby%20Got%20Back%20video.jpg
Nothing like ridiculous stereotypes to reinforce what a fictional location is meant to be based off of, amirite
?
Yeah...darned sanity
!
God how I love these kinds of jokes...I have no idea why
...Also, I feel like I should understand what the Furby's saying, but I guess it's just been so long that I can't
.
Also, by "Turring", do you mean "Turing"?
Anyway, another successful chapter
!
not sure if foal Sombra is cute or just evil.
2179619 I am The Doctor, and you are
the DaleksEmperor Jewel! *Hits with a metal sticks*"The magic of the Crystal ponies meant that when they were under the yolk all thoughts of free will left the rest of Equestria."
You DO mean "yoke", right? Not yolk? ...right?
Also, I am totally interested in seeing the antimatter universe some more. Somebody, quick, write a story about it!
.. OK...
I read the words Tim Hortons...
Damn I miss Canada! Now I am craving an Ice Cap and Poutine...
I'd really like to see more of the anti-matter ponies, or at least know anything about the other five of the inhumane 6.
And Shining is ticking me off. I'm sorry, but is your sex life so much more important than your wife's mental health?! Maybe we should give you to Chrysalis,since you don't seem to care that your wife saved you from being her sex slave? I'm sorry, he is just ticking me off, and I may be exaggerating things.
You're Only Second Rate reference, nice. Also, if Nightmare Moon is Starscream, and Corona is Megatron, what would Tydal be?
Never mind.
Oh so THIS is where Nightfall Eclipse comes from, I thought you just created her in Crisis of Infinite Twilights.
Indeed. Seriously, you need to write a fic about this Anti Matter universe, it looks fun as hell to read about!
Speak for yourself, seeing her act like her regular, well, "canon" self, is hilarious compared to her being a nympho Pinkie most of the time.
I love being able to understand Spanish right now. And is this a TFS reference?
The hell do you mean by that? *music starts playing* Oh, you, little, you are magnificent.
Like you're one to talk.
Wow. You are dense.
Wiggles the wonder dog!