• Member Since 20th Aug, 2012
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defender2222


T

This story is a sequel to The God Squad: Equestria's Most Wanted


Season 3 of The God Squad!

Realizing that there are threats to the world that not even 6 mares who tend to have more tea parties than magical adventures can handle, Princess Celestia has created a task force of the most powerful and insane beings in Equestria to protect the world. Now, Celestia, Luna, Cadence, Shining, Tydal, Chrysalis, Discord, and Sunset Shimmer will travel the global, the universe, and even time itself to right wrongs, deal with the corrupt, and probably break just as many things as they fix.

From the strange marriage practices of Saddle Arabia to drinking contests with the Yaks, from hunting rogue changelings to find the plans for Flim and Flam's new Death Star, the ponies of Equestria can... well, not rest easy but at least lie in their beds trembling... knowing THE GOD SQUAD is out saving the world.

We hope.

The spinoff from the much more popular 'The Many Secret Origins of Scootaloo' and the fic that is TOTALLY not the reason the Faith and Doubt sequel keeps getting pushed back, THE GOD SQUAD: EQUESTRIA'S MIGHTIEST IMMORTALS continues the insane humor and outrageous adventures of everyone's favorite group of insane deities.

Chapters (3)
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Comments ( 58 )

Now, before people accuse Tydal of being overly violent... that was Twilight thinking what he would do! So that means Twilight is the deranged one! It is always the bookworms.

Welcome to Season 3 and if you can't tell... nope, not a damn thing has changed! Bring on more madness!

I'm sorry, Rarity, I know you're trying, but you simply can't measure up to the real thing... Tyyyydaaaaaal! We Miss You! Come Home, ye' crazy ole' goat! It's just not the same madness without you, even if it did come back, which is great, but still. Tyyyydaaaaaal!

This should be good. Also you didn't reply to my PM

It begins!

I can't wait to see in just how many ways they manage to screw the timeline.

Ouch, getting hit by an iron horseshoe sucks.

Hope they don't end up creating too many of their future enemies, like those cultists and the council of draconequi or whatever they were called.

7577839

The Parliament of the Draconequus

7577422
My brain before beginning to read:

(Gets in running position on track)
(Breathes deeply)

Announcer: 3... 2... 1...

Me: Ledsdodis LEEEEEEEEEEERRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOY JEEEENNNKINS!

Oh mah gawd he just ran in:pinkiecrazy:

That seem like what you were going for?

Also, you can sing?

1 more thing: the Official God Squad Checklist;

-Cadence being a sex fiend
-References
-Mass brutal murder
-Fourth wall breaks
-Everypony hating on a Narrator

Feels good to be back.

7577422 Funny, I seem to recall he's a god of war and likes bloodshed. Twilight's imagination seems like the sort of thing he'd do. After all season 2 opener had him not violent and relatively peaceful and his wife not knowing who he was anymore cause of it. XD

7577897

Yes, but Tydal wouldn't play the guitar with a pony's body... the blood would make strumming the cords hard.

7577932 True but does Twilight know he wouldn't?

You jerk. I still haven't gotten over Gene Wilder's death and you use that song? I wasn't expecting tears today, dammit!

(also the rest is amusing as hell and Rares you're gonna have to up your acting game)

little perform

PerformANCE.

“We are the music makers,” he says with quiet passion. “And we are the dreamers of dreams. What we create… we do so in the hope that it instills emotions in others. Sometimes… they are smiles and laughter and cheers. Other times they are quite the opposite, bringing tears and sorrow. But they let us feel… and to feel is to be alive. And thus… my dear audience… welcome once more.” He tossed his cane off stage. “Now then… hold your breath… make a wish… count to three.”

Are you, oh my god you are.

“Ladies and Gentlemen,” the Author said with a bow, “welcome… to Season 3.”

What a cold open.

“I really must protest!” the Doctor complained as he watched ponies, draconequus, dragons, and changelings stream in and out of the TARDIS. Derpy, Dinky, Sparkler (who was on break from college), and Mary Sue all watched the chaos as the large group brought in their luggage and equipment. “The TARDIS wasn’t designed to house so many beings!”

I feel he need to remind you that there's a huge amount of space in your TARDIS, and one of the inhabitants is Discord who can warp reality with a snap, literally.

“Just us six, Spike, the Princesses, Twi’s brother, that orange mare Twilight says is a friend, and Discord. Plus your family. Ain’t that many… we done gotten ten times as many shoved away at the ol’ homestead during family reunions and had less bedrooms than ya’ll have.”

She's right.

The baker blinked in confusion. “What? Oh no! This is just my party cannon for when we find Lord Tydal!” She darted forward, pressing her face to the Doctor’s, the stallion gulping nervously at the intense look in her eye. “You aren’t suggesting we DON’T have a party when we finally find him, are you?” The Doctor tried to say something but Pinkie merely asked, “ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUU?!?”
“N-no,” the Doctor said meekly.

Wise move.

“How can you say that, darling?” Rarity asks as she enters the ship with the last of her luggage. “We are headed to such a glorious time! A time of dashing knights and beautiful dresses! Of nobles and beauties and fair maidens! I simply don’t understand why you are all bringing such tacky things as weapons when you should be bringing dresses.”

Because it's a time where you could probably die at 30, there was no medicine, there was constant war and everyone was in it for themselves.

Cadence, who chose that moment to happily bounce into the TARDIS, her horn glowing as she brought in what looked suspiciously like a dominatrix outfit and a sex swing, looked at the gathered group and pursed her lips. “That’s something that has been confusing me for the last day or so. Tydal is still immortal, right?”

Yes...

“Then why do we need to go anywhere?” Cadence asked, turning to address the rest of the group as they began to pile in. “I mean, he can just go sit in a cave, wait a thousand years or so, and then walk out and come meet us! He could be waiting for us right now! Why go to the past when he can just come to us?”

Well, Luna had to be alone for 1000 years on the Moon when she went insane as Nightmare Moon. I doubt she'd want to inflict that on anyone, and even for an immortal, that's a long time.

“Uh… 30,” Cadence said. She knew that her family was long lived but it even took her by surprise to hear how old Celestia was. They never really talked about it.

Wow.

“See?” Cadence exclaimed. “You guys are so old it shouldn’t matter! Tydal has been around for… forever! What’s another thousand years? He can just wait in a basement and then pop up!”

Immortal doesn't mean he can't feel loneliness or sadness or anything like that, he'd still feel the passing of the years. A millennium is a long time.

“Uh… no, not really no,” Rainbow admitted. “Probably go mad.”

Exactly.

“What… wait, you think I tried sitting in a cave and that drove me mad?” Discord pouted. “I didn’t do that! God… of… chaos! Who ever heard of a sane chaos god?!?” He let out a huff. “Fluttershy, they are picking on me!”

He has a point, being nuts is his whole shtick, plus, considering how old he is, he's better off insane.

“Besides,” Chrysalis said dryly, already wishing she could go pick out her room and get settled in, “do you honestly believe Tydal could just sit around doing nothing?”
“He said he was living quietly and peacefully,” Fluttershy pointed out.
Spike huffed, dragging in his stuff, the last to arrive. “It’s Tydal… screams and blood are quiet and peaceful for him.”

He's right.

Cadence grinned and nodded. When the others looked at her in annoyance she frowned right back. “Sax… as in the instrument. I love a good jazz number. Perverts.”

Jazz is nice.

Twilight gulped. “By the Maker… he’s in the past and bored.”

Now she gets it.

Tydal (grabbing a pony and strumming his guts like they were guitar strings, dancing among the bodies)

I don't think guts are very good for musical instruments, too wet.

“Considering he did raise us should we be offended?” Luna asked.
“Maybe?” Celestia said with a shrug.

Eh, but considering how Merida would take it, I doubt he'd do that.

Cadence bobbed her head. “Why do you think it took Shining so long to contact you all after the wedding?” The pink mare smiled fondly. “He couldn’t stop smiling even as the paramedics loaded him into the ambulance.”

Heh.

“No, good lady!” the pony called out to Shining as the rest of the rescue team piled out of the TARDIS. “I am his ancestor, Exposition the Narrator!”

Normally, this wouldn't work. But it does. And it's great.

“How do you even… I don’t care,” Shining sighed. “Permission granted.”
Everypony just stood there.
“…I miss Tydal,” Shining said sadly.

Same.

So with the opening was it always going to be that or did you decide to do it after Gene Wilder's death?

7580153

The openings tend to be the only things I don't script out in advance. It is whatever I want to riff on. So no, it was inspired by his passing.

Damn that opening tugged on the heart strings... :pinkiesad2:

I am really expecting Tydal to be king or something like that. When they find him...

7580972 Watch them find him just sitting on a rock.
Celestia & Luna: "DADDY!"
Tydal: "Christ! I just sat down! Would you give me a minute!"

I've been playing Shining Force and I realized that would be a great name for this fanfic.
"Don't be silly it should be called Tydal Wave." Tydal growled.
"Buggy Buddies." Crysalis shouted.
"Solar Squad!" Celestia added.
"Pretty Sailor Guardians." Luna quipped.
"Sex Rangers" Cadence purred.
"Chaos Corps." Discord said, appearing in my living room.
"Sunset Society!" Sunset spoke.

..."and that's why this fanfic is called God Squad." Wall Breaker whispered from my speakers.

I'm strangely annoyed that it wasn't Marvin the Ripper.

7584677 (Discord ask your dad what's taking so f:yay:king long)

7624070

It's coming, don't worry. The next few chapters are a bit more dense as I am telling multiple stories in the past.

7624149 Ah. No prob. Just love the franchise.

Oh man... I needed that. :pinkiehappy:

Lots of lines that had me chuckling this chapter. Everyone else ignoring Rarity hitting on DIscord hard is super amusing for me for some reason... :moustache:

Now, let's see what shenanigans they can get up to in the past! :pinkiecrazy:

so the Gods of Fanfic Revivals has resserected this fic

7982436

The main problem was this chapter is a set-up chapter. I hate those. I know the ending of this arc, and I am super excited for the Saddle Arabia arc, but getting things set up is always a pain.

“I suppose that when you are winning you shouldn’t go for the kill and just settle for a victory!” the two ponies grinned. “Other than that, we didn’t learn anything. We were right all along.”

Quite the ironic echo.

Indeed, brothe!

You missed an R.

“And you also made it eco friendly. That was a car that basically ran on water and puffed out steam as a byproduct,” Apple Bloom said with a shrug. “Me? I’d sell the rights to Filthy Rich. Get some bits, of course, but also stock options.”

... Smart kid.

Flam frowned. “Well, we were working up a scheme to race the fastest marathon runner in Equestria. While he would travel on hoof we would fly in our new vehicle we call an ‘airplane’ and… oh.”

I've missed your brand of humor.

Apple Bloom nodded. “Yup… oh. Go over your last few schemes and cons for me… I’m curious.” Big Mac opened his mouth to question what was going on but Apple Bloom jumped up and closed it. “Shhhh, big ponies are talking.”

There is nothing that I can say that can make this scene any funnier. In fact, you should go back and read or reread every single fic in this continuity. As in now you fussy plebs.

“I believe we’ve been giant idiots, brother,” Flam said.

Yup.

“Please stop singing that,” the Doctor complained. “I banned that song and ‘The Power of Love’ because I am tired of hearing ponies sing it after they travel with me. If you must sing pick something I’d never expect to hear.”

This surprises me not at all.

“Rock Around the Clock?” Pinkie suggested.
“Heard it.”
“Time Keep’s Slippin’?” Rainbow Dash offered.
“Overplayed.”

Any song that references time or clocks in some way or time travel is probably going to get the same result.

Dinky nodded and chimed in, “And now a cow pretending to be a man!”

ASDF movie reference.

“Alright, so we need a plan of attack when it comes to finding Tydal,” Shining said. “And I mean literal plan of attack… knowing him he’ll try to hit at least one of us with a stick… I vote Spike get that honor.”

To be fair, he is covered in dragon scales. I doubt it'd do more than annoy him.

“I am so confused right now,” Mary Sue, the black coat, red maned alicorn said, brow furrowed. “And I have coffee with Lyra every week.”

You get used it.

“Use the Seal of Orichalcos?” Fluttershy asked. “That was a horrible weekend.”

Do I WANT to know?

“Oh,” Rarity said, staring at Discord with half lidded eyes. “You look rather… dashing… as a pony.”

He's many hundreds of times your age, you do remember that, right?

“Okay… well, here are 10 ways I can brutally torture you without killing you. Number 1-“
~12 Minutes Later…~
“...and the other hamburger will also be made of yours lungs.” Fluttershy looked at the pale group. “Did… did I do it right?”

... I'm pretty sure making a burger patty out of someone's lungs could kill them.

“Would you want to live in your house if your family wasn’t there? Worse… they were in a stone sleep that you had the power to awaken them from but could not?”

Ah, right.

“The Doctor, Derpy, Dinky, and Mary Sue should remain at the TARDIS, in case we need them for backup. They’re also the only ones that can operate it and I’d rather not be trapped in the past,” Twilight said.

Good thinking, Purple Smart.

“Yes. It needs to funny so this story keeps getting reviews. And unusual pairings will give more fodder for ShadowLDrago when he does his recap reviews.”

... Well played, well played. I did not see that coming.

Pinkie poked at what seemed to be thin air. “The fourth wall is holding so I say go for it!”

Just be careful, the fourth wall is more fragile than you think.

“Because you haven’t had a chance to have some Daughter/Mother time with her.”
Twilight frowned. “She isn’t my mom.”
“Oh, break ya mother’s heart,” Luna said, adopting a variation of a Manehattan accent. “Ya know Edna Goldman’s daughter is a doc-tor… but if ya wanna break ya mother’s heart…”
“Fine!” Twilight exclaimed with a huff.

I do love this bit.

Rarity licked her lips. “Don’t worry… if you want I can wear a collar and leash.”

... So many fanfics I could link right now...

“Now I am scared and aroused,” Cadence said.
“Aren’t you always that way?” Pinkie asked.

Usually just aroused.

“Oooo! I call Cadence!” Pinkie giggled.

I'll reinforce my shenanigans detector, you blew up the last one.

“…so I’m on my own or-?” Sunset smirked when Spike opened his mouth to protest. “Kidding. I’ll take the dragon.”

Spike's surprisingly tough, not to mention has a certain way of seeing things that might help.

“Good,” Mary said with a grin. “Now then, while we should really move out and begin the search, I think the rule of story telling demands we end here and wait till next chapter, where you guys will already be in the middle of your searches.”

That's the rule of cliffhangers. But yes, that's usually how it goes.

It lives!

Fun chapter, laughed quite a few times. Though I do see the most fashionable rape in Discord's future.

'is you paniced and' - panicked

'pyshics' - psychics

'didn't killed' - kill

'made of yours lungs' - your

'translate much of is said by' - much of what is said by

TDR

Ahhh yes I missed this.

Well, well well. They ran you out of town, so you came crawling back to Broadway! Well Broadway doesn't go for booze and dope!

Oh, wait, no, it totally does. Welcome back, sir.

Another enjpyable chapter. Good job.:pinkiehappy::derpytongue2::moustache:

7983667

Thanks. I'm getting in the groove of writing this again by getting to play around with a story style I've never really tried before on a large scale but love: the intersection storylines. As we saw, the group will be in teams of two. But as we explore one group's story, things will happen that appear off or odd or out of the blue... until two chapters later where it is revealed this is all something ANOTHER group did. And in turn a small action taken in the first chapter will suddenly become a big thing to another group. I did it once with a Rugrats story I wrote and really enjoyed that.

7984787
Ambitious! I like the sound of it.

I came back from an extended absence, too, and only brought people vampire flowers.

7986201

I like how this is the second season where Rarity hits on a member of the Squad. Last season was Shining, now Discord.

That said... I kinda like the Discord/Rarity pairing. Never really been done that I know of, unusual, but it also might work well for them, with Discord getting her to open up more and Rarity being so determined she can handle Discord's crap.

...and now I want to do an anthology series of just insane pairings.

“Use the Seal of Orichalcos?” Fluttershy asked. “That was a horrible weekend.”

Boy, Dartz and Co must have been pretty desperate those days.

Okay… well, here are 10 ways I can brutally torture you without killing you. Number 1-“

~12 Minutes Later…~
“...and the other hamburger will also be made of yours lungs.” Fluttershy looked at the pale group. “Did… did I do it right?”

Uuuuuuuuh...

Rarity licked her lips. “Don’t worry… if you want I can wear a collar and leash.”

Best pony! Down girl! Heel HEEL!!!

...what?

I hear Chaos Lord.

“Oooo! I call Cadence!” Pinkie giggled.

GOOD SWEET MIKE NO! NOO!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

MAXOUT OUT!!! EVERYBODY OUT!!! THEY'LL KILL US ALL!!! RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!!!

I haven't read a word, as of this posting.
I have already "liked" and put it on my "Favorites".

That's how much I think I'm going to enjoy this.

EDIT (5 minutes later): just finished chapter 1, and aside from Tydal's violence (helpfully explained as Twilight's imagination running wild), I am not disappointed at all.

Did you... did you REALLY just have two secret service agencies be named in such a way that their acronyms would spell C.U.N.T.S. and C.L.I.T.?!!!

... I LOVE YA, you wonderful b*stard, you!

holy crap this is still fucking happening?

I loved this series back in like 2013 or whenever the hell I was reading it and now there's a sequel!

Oh jeez, glad to see things are bad and as mad as ever n_n

This feels like the Avengers with the whole "Equestria's Mightiest Immortals" thing. But instead of "Earth's Mightiest Heroes", its "Equestria's Mightiest Immortals".

8195163

Well they do work at The Bureau of Undoing Trouble from Twilight Sparkle. And Twilight Velvet is a Dedicated Innovation Canterlot Scientist

... Those agency names. :rainbowlaugh:

I have one thing to say to you, Rainbow. TO THE MOON!

I see Pinkie and Luna are doing just fine.

As always, your level of meta is astounding.

i thought the pairing/grouping was Twilight and Luna? its been a while could have sworn you were planing mother daughter antics for those two

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