LucidDreamer
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Fuck if that isn't a quick way to burn bridges. Kinda surprised at Gilda, though. I mean, I know she's in the tags, but I guess a part of me wasn't expecting her to play this role.
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I like putting people in roles that most wouldn't expect. This Gilda being the one that everyone avoids based on appearance alone.
Well alright then I love this already
I like this Gilda it shows her loyalty to her friends and just how easily she will burn a bad bridge
I just got done reading Featherfall last night and it has me on board for any kind of Sunset/Gilda interaction.
Well, this is decidedly different. Color me intrigued.
Was she supposed to cut herself off or is she missing a word?
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Thanks.
Three people looked over it and still missed it.
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No prob. The premise is really cool. I've always liked the idea of Sunset being more than human or pony and when I finished the chapter I had that feeling of "Shit. Is that it?"
So yeah. Excited for more when you get to it ^~^
Like the concept so far and loved the last story. I love the whole half demon thing and that Sunset’s been seeing a therapist, plus it’s nice to see her connection with some of the adult characters. Can’t wait to see where it goes.
A few things I’m iffy on though. The first is Gilda. Parts of her dialogue feel rather stilted and her being so thoroughly on Sunset’s side and saying what she did felt weird. Defend Sunset, sure, but her speech felt rather forced. Also, it’s important to remember that in the first movie, as a demon, Sunset did mind control most of the school and tried to kill Twilight (and the blast would’ve killed the mane 5 as well). Them having a strong reaction to seeing Sunset as a demon, especially when they think she’s the one behind Anon-A-Miss, is reasonable. Heck, if Sunset’s account from the last story is accurate, the only people who didn’t freak out over her were Chern, Meg, and human Celestia. Even Twilight doubted her in RR.
That isn’t to say that Sunset shouldn’t be hurt by that or try again to rekindle anything. The whole Anon-A-Miss thing and general treatment of her was bad, and that could easily be the last straw. All I’m saying is that the reaction the mane 5 had to Sunset showing her half demon form was relatively reasonable.
I love this. May write a fanfiction of a fanfiction continuing with the concept of Sunset acquiring friend from the more beaten-down or outcast members of the EQG universe. Have this idea around it involving a New York Irish/American boy in Christal Prep that comes from a family of a long line of Medium's, Druids, Goetia Sorcerers, and Witches. No, he does not have powerful magic abilities, but knows that magick exists and its mostly connected to real world myths and legends. He has that legacy on his back but he doesn't really understand it completely, mostly because he is just a 17, becoming a Master Magician takes decades and he will be 26 by the time he can be considered fairly adept.
He works in a Chinese Antique Shop owned by a Cantonese family friend and knows Gilda by association because he likes to gamble on the billiard tables. She basically drags him by the shirt into the back of the shop to explain Sunset's Demonic condition.
I'll work on it ASAP.
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Reasonable as it may be. It indicates that she is still better off starting over with another group of friends, and moving away far enough to get another lease on life. Or hell go back to Equestria. I do not know if this is before or after Rainbow Rocks where she stops Demigod Sea Sirens from taking over The School and the Town they are located in, and probably the world unless the US Government in EQG had a Military Units armed with weapons than can harm the Supernatural.
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I'm fiddling with timelines a bit. Will explain more in the second chapter, also your story concept sounds interesting.
You tell em Gilda!
Please tell me the CMC or who ever behind Anon A Miss is exposed the guilt will be a great punishment as always.
Huzzah! Congratulations on having your story featured!
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Well apparently it wasn't featured for long. XD
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Same with mine. I had to deal with a war with toxic fans because it was a Dream-related story. I honestly thought you'd end up in Featured much earlier than my story due to the higher ratio. But congrats! Your story was strong enough to be in Featured and Popular for a long time!
I'm glad you showed Gilda. I personally feel like this is a better interpretation of her. Showing gruff jock who is seen as a bully but is actually a kind person.
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Looks to me like it's still featured! Do you have your settings toggled to show M-Rated stories?
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I think it went back on the Feature Box, because it wasn't on there earlier. o.O
Also, I think this is the first time I've seen Gilda characterized positively since my own efforts with Featherfall. You really nailed her down here, good job.
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Thanks! Somebody mentioned reading Featherfall recently, I'll have to check it out.
This man lives inside the school?
Does that mean he has wings, too.
She does realize that just because she doesn’t mind sunset being half-demon that doesn’t me anyone else would do the same, right?
This is quite a thick comment section, ngl. Spagetti and one or two meatballs everywhere else, but here just everything potatos.
Cheers!
huh Glinda being the good friend this is outlandish for anon stories most times she's made into the prick that takes it to far and hospitalizes sunny at least in the stories I've read. Its a nice change also the way she reacts and the past story makes me wonder if people like sunset are a normal thing, and the others are purely reacting bad simply because of the formal incident.
A story where sunset can transform at will into het she demon!? Fuck yeah 😍😍!!!! I had this same idea floating around in my head. I'm glad someone else had it too
kind of forgot about this story for a bit, good to see an update.
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Happy to be able to do an update.
Nice to see this update.
I don’t think that’s how it works.
Oh, Sunny. Glad that at least Gilda's not being a raging ***** and is treating you fairly.
I like the whole "looking back... that was dumb" feeling here.
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"This is a good idea. This is a good idea.... No it's not, it's really not. Fuck it- Just do it. You can get them to listen."
-later-
"That was a terrible idea."
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In my fanfic series on Sunset's redemption, Sunset's Steps, I go for a more nuanced interpretation of an antagonistic Gilda
Instead of making Gilda into a mindless brute, I write her as someone with an understandable grudge against Sunset, but who gradually comes to forgive Sunset, and show a more noble side. This is a Gilda who is gruff, who can hold a severe grudge, but can show a nicer side if you aren't human garbage.
This Gilda, as an ally of Sunset, is also very well written.
But again, there is no bad way to write a character. Just bad execution.
Gilda is that one friend we need: tough enough that you can vent your problems too, and they'll take in stride.
Good chapter.
Super solid chapter. The first one felt kind of iffy, especially compared to the previous story, but this one was great. The writing itself felt much cleaner and I’m glad the characters acknowledged Sunset’s decision wasn’t exactly... smart. Can’t wait for more.
Congratulatzion for making the featueed box,this story really deserves it.
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Huh, it went back on. It was at the bottom, then dropped off, and now it's back. Weird. XD
Well took forever for an update but at the very least it is definitely quality and I enjoyed it
She's just waiting to do some 'tests' lol
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We all had those moments.
10746429
No thanks
I just went from not sure to liking this with this chapter great work ! you've really got it nailed down can't wait to read more !
This is cool, might be a missing word near the start, I forget where, but otherwise I enjoyed reading it. Looking forward to more.
No pressure though, I'm just happy you felt well enough to get something done.
hmm so far so good lets continue with the game of waiting and enjoying this book. I still hold onto my theory that what sunset has is far more normal where she is now then is let on just from past chapter and the short story you made.
Who made the cover art?
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Found it here.
….date her sunny! Date the dark skinned amazoness that can benchpress you! Do it after ice cream and booze!
Oh my god I love this. Dying for more. And loving the dynamic between Gilda and sunset. Hope they hook up xD
Oooo, half-demon Sunset's pretty fun! Don't see that too often. I like how you have your Twilight have her reservations on Celestia. Most narratives I see have her full on devoted (which is absolutely fair), so this is pretty refreshing. I also like your portrayal of Gilda here and how she has more depth behind meat head and such.