• Member Since 13th Aug, 2012
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Closer-To-The-Sun


You gotta kick at the darkness until it bleeds daylight.

E

“We are living in a scene,/That you can't capture by photograph,/We are living in the moment.” -The Pillows, ‘Star Overhead’

A comet is passing over Equestria and every creature is captivated by the beauty. Along with the rest of her class, Smolder has to write an about the celestial object. However, the dragon seems far more interested in a talent that her earth pony friend has, as well as the pony themselves.


Cover art commissioned from Amy New.

Chapters (5)
Comments ( 12 )

I guess I'm not the only one who ship sandbar and smolder 😅

Sandbar couldn’t help but laugh, “Oh, come on, every creature knows the break-up was mutual. Yona and I are still good friends. We both thought it best to focus on our studies, especially since she’s trying to beat Ocellus for valedictorian.”

Oh thats pretty big of you and yona that kind of reminds of my ex girlfriend but we are in good terms with each other and I'm ok with that

Aww thats sweet and sandbar has another talent in art thats cool and thats nice that yona and sandbar are in good terms with each other as friends this is pretty interesting cant wait to see what next

Aww this is a sweet chapter i really like how they are so helpful with each other like how smolder telling him to take a break and sandbar is Offering smolder ride on his back after drinking to much of the Apple cider Which she needs to take an easy on next time lol and I like the talk between them I really like this so far cant wait for the next chapter

Aww thats so sweet I know I felt like I said that so many times but it is Anyway so smolder wanna to see how much she can draw Which I'm sure she's better than me I can't draw for nothing lol But anyway It was nice that sandbar give her a little upgrade on her oc character and thats cool cant wait whats going to happen next 😊

Comment posted by Yoshifan30 deleted Aug 27th, 2020

Aww that was a cute chapter its nice that sandbar ask smolder to be his Inspiration for his art and again hes much better then me lol i really like how much those two hang out so such can't wait whats going to happen next

Aww This was a nice story here I really did like how smolder Really loves to draw again because I sandbar inspiration that's pretty awesome and also pretty interesting history lesson about dragon culture I really love that interaction between smolder and sandbar they are cute together But anyway awesome with the story keep up the good work 😊

I want to like this story, I really do. The concept is great (and I love to see any ship with Smolder and Ocellus that ISN'T Smolcellus, so you get a few points there) and the presentation is solid, with no real grammar, spelling, or pacing errors to speak of. However, there is something keeping me from saying that I like it: the dialogue.

The dialogue, I feel, was weak. Characters didn't sound like they were supposed to in my head, and I think that has to do with what the characters are saying-they don't feel like things these characters would realistically say.

All in all, 6/10. If the dialogue felt more believable, I believe this could be higher.

Sandbar shrugged with a slight guilty expression, “What can I say? Your story inspired me.” The pony started to move the pencil across the page, “After all, this comet is really something. Whether it’s some object in outer space, or a piece of a skull from a great dragon hero falling to the ground, it’s pretty beautiful.”

The dragon looked at the parchment that Sandbar was drawing upon, and then at him. She softly smiled, “It really is.”

Awwww, did smolder just call Sandbar beautiful?

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No lo eres (aún que tú seguro no entiendes lo que digo)

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