Twilight's (Forced) Friendship Speeches

Knowing Thorax had struggled to convince some of his follow changelings to change, Princess Twilight Sparkle decided to visit the changeling hive and check up on him.

It turned out, with the exception of one changeling, Pharynx, all of the changelings had finally accepted the new way and had transformed as a result. Even so, as the Princess of Friendship, Twilight took it upon herself to get Pharynx to change his ways and learn friendship.

No matter how many times Pharynx says "no".

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Comments ( 13 )

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TigerCat111

TigerCat111 #1 · Jun 29th, 2020 · · ·

“Oh, i-it’s because friendship is brand-new to me." Pharynx twiddled his hooves, pretending to be nervous. "This will be my first time, so even if you’re gentle, you might overwhelm me if I don’t prepare myself first.”
Twilight turned her head back to Pharynx, her face wearing a...comforting smile? “I understand, but as a mare with a lot of experience and know what she's doing, trust me: it will feel great once I get going.

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Also Pharynx just might be the only character I've never seen anyone ship with Twilight.

LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DOOO~

Also: CAAAAALLLED IIIIIIIIIT!!

Melody Song

Melody Song #2 · Jun 29th, 2020 · · ·

Heh, this was pretty funny. I liked it, good job

Dashie04

Dashie04 #3 · Jun 29th, 2020 · · ·

They play off of each other remarkably well.

Uz Naimat

Uz Naimat #4 · Jun 29th, 2020 · · ·

That. Was. Awesome! I loved the story, every word. Thank you for the entertaining read.

That being said, I do want to be helpful. So, remember when you wrote that forum concerning Unexpected Pairings and its review? You said that the reviewer commented about “unnecessary information”. This is what they meant:

Patches of grass and moss grew in numerous spots on the ground and rocks of the hive. There were also several chambers, but in the hive’s clearing was an oak throne, which Thorax, the changeling's leader, sat in. He was a green changeling with orange mandibles on top of his head.

Pharynx, Thorax’s brother and strongest changeling next to Queen Chrysalis, had finished his patrol and was flying toward the changeling hive. Unlike the other changelings, Pharynx hadn’t transformed, so his exoskeleton was black and, unlike his brother, he had no mandibles.

These bold sections could easily be removed and it wouldnʼt make a difference. Thatʼs what your reviewer meant by “unnecessary information”.

I donʼt mean for this to come off as rude in any way possible.

ThePinkedWonder

ThePinkedWonder #5 · Jun 29th, 2020 · 1 · ·

10307933

Out of all the stuff I've come up with, what you pointed out will be in my top five for at least a while

10308004

Thanks!

10308131

I think they did too. Too bad they never talked in the show.

10308142

Don't worry, I wouldn't think of that as rude at all. I heavily wondered talking out what you pointed out, and the show never confirmed if Pharynx is the strong changeling, so I thought that could be something to add in.

As a whole, the advice I've gotten about this part of storytelling conflicts, so it's nearly impossible for me to figure out the best way to do it, since it feels like it'll be wrong no matter how I do it, since one's "right way" is another's "wrong way". I was thinking of doing no descriptions at all in my later stories unless there's a VERY good reason, would be rare. I'll just hope it won't be pointed out as "wrong", because I really will scream if it does.

I won't lie, the conflicting advice I've received about that has gotten to my head, so I really have little confidence in this area of my writing anymore. The other parts of my writing isn't affected though, so there's that.

It's not your fault, or really any one person's really. It's more just me than anything else.

Also, thanks for the compliment! Glad you enjoyed the story!

Uz Naimat

Uz Naimat #6 · Jun 29th, 2020 · · ·

10308175
I just pointed out the reviewerʼs complaint. I personally donʼt think over-description is wrong, although too much of anything is bad. Just do what feels right to you. Accept other peopleʼs advice (including mine), but donʼt let them dictate your style of writing. You do you.

AdmiralTigerclaw