Knowing Thorax had struggled to convince some of his follow changelings to change, Princess Twilight Sparkle decided to visit the changeling hive and check up on him.
It turned out, with the exception of one changeling, Pharynx, all of the changelings had finally accepted the new way and had transformed as a result. Even so, as the Princess of Friendship, Twilight took it upon herself to get Pharynx to change his ways and learn friendship.
No matter how many times Pharynx says "no".
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DOOO~
Also: CAAAAALLLED IIIIIIIIIT!!
Heh, this was pretty funny. I liked it, good job
They play off of each other remarkably well.
That. Was. Awesome! I loved the story, every word. Thank you for the entertaining read.
That being said, I do want to be helpful. So, remember when you wrote that forum concerning Unexpected Pairings and its review? You said that the reviewer commented about “unnecessary information”. This is what they meant:
These bold sections could easily be removed and it wouldnʼt make a difference. Thatʼs what your reviewer meant by “unnecessary information”.
I donʼt mean for this to come off as rude in any way possible.
10307933
Out of all the stuff I've come up with, what you pointed out will be in my top five for at least a while
10308004
Thanks!
10308131
I think they did too. Too bad they never talked in the show.
10308142
Don't worry, I wouldn't think of that as rude at all. I heavily wondered talking out what you pointed out, and the show never confirmed if Pharynx is the strong changeling, so I thought that could be something to add in.
As a whole, the advice I've gotten about this part of storytelling conflicts, so it's nearly impossible for me to figure out the best way to do it, since it feels like it'll be wrong no matter how I do it, since one's "right way" is another's "wrong way". I was thinking of doing no descriptions at all in my later stories unless there's a VERY good reason, would be rare. I'll just hope it won't be pointed out as "wrong", because I really will scream if it does.
I won't lie, the conflicting advice I've received about that has gotten to my head, so I really have little confidence in this area of my writing anymore. The other parts of my writing isn't affected though, so there's that.
It's not your fault, or really any one person's really. It's more just me than anything else.
Also, thanks for the compliment! Glad you enjoyed the story!
10308175
I just pointed out the reviewerʼs complaint. I personally donʼt think over-description is wrong, although too much of anything is bad. Just do what feels right to you. Accept other peopleʼs advice (including mine), but donʼt let them dictate your style of writing. You do you.
Twilight seemed to be suffering from a severe case of Pepe Le Pew.
What with all the spontaneous appearing from just out of frame.
You mean Pharynx?
10308706
10308840
Glad you enjoyed it so much!
10308960
Yep I meant Pharynx. Just fixed it.
https://www.fimfiction.net/group/213901/my-little-reviews-feedback/thread/442473/reviewing-twilights-forced-friendship-speeches