Duchess Chrysalis is Princess Celestia’s personal student. Friendship comes easily, except when the recipient doesn’t want to be friends. Or of course, when the recipient has been replaced by a changeling.
An entry for Secrets: A Swapped Roles Contest
A universe where Twilight Sparkle is Queen of the Changelings and Chrysalis is Princess Celestia's unicorn pupil.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Please mention that this is an entry for Secrets: A Swapped Roles Contest in the description.
“Completed”
?!?
Right, so I'm in what I'm calling judgey judgemental Judge mode, which means I'm valuing various things differently from how I normally would were I just being a casual reader.
Swapping Chrysalis and Twilight is oddly a brilliant idea. The more natural choice is of course Chrysalis and Cadance, but while the obvious choice is often obvious because it's right, sometimes it's nice to go with a less obvious one and be pleasantly surprised by the result.
Duchess and Chrysalis definitely share a number of traits, but of course the main conceit of this is that Duchess was never bad to begin with, just kind of a jerk. And yeah, if Chrysalis were born a pony I could see her turning out like this. Likewise, you did a good job with making Twilight the changeling queen come across as an evil version of Twilight with changeling concerns. Her plan is exactly what I think Twilight would come up with if Twilight were in Chrysalis' position. Centered on books.
That said, this story does have a few flaws. For one thing, a lot of it feels too "easy". It seems like Duchess was able to figure out Moon Dancer being replaced too easily to me. Likewise help from Elytra sort of just fell into their collective laps as a convenient way for them all to escape. The ending is also very anti-climactic, with Twilight defeated offscreen.
All in all though you have a very solid premise here, and this would make for an excellent "rough draft" for a longer, more completed version of this story, were you so inclined. Maybe one with a few of the other members of the Mane-6 appearing in changeling form?
Thanks for your entry!
10363300
Thank you! And yeah, you bring up good points. If I ever do a rewrite I'll definitely do things differently.
I’ve reviewed this fanfic in this blog.