A bittersweet parting
It was a cool, crisp autumn's morning. The wind blew softly through the leaves and rustled them like a soothing alarm. Songbirds began their melancholy call from atop the trees and provided a relaxing sonnet of sounds with which to rouse the two figures sleeping by the lakeside.
There on the soft sand and dirt, there existed, beneath the tangle of hooves and mane, a pair of lovers who had spent much of the night before celebrating their love in the most carnal of ways, yet also the most tender, falling asleep against the other to share the warmth during the cold night. The princess was the first to rouse herself from the slumber, her eyes fluttering open and a yawn threatening to burst forth.
Waking up was never easy. Especially when you knew you had to leave somewhere you really liked that morning. Fortunately for her, or, unfortunately, she had been disturbed by much of last night by tremendous nightmares. Yet she could not remember what they were about. Oddly enough, she could remember one thing, a most inconspicuous thing; a song. Not a soothing one, it was oddly, hauntingly poetic, and it had been sung in a whisper as quiet as an evening wind. The nightmares made it particularly easy for her to wake that morning.
That, and she had spent too much time away from her home. Her duty. Her life. It was times like this she would sigh, try and get a few more precious minutes of sleep and attempt to stave off the thoughts relating to the thought track of; if only I was a normal unicorn.
Alas, she was not. She was a princess, and even now she felt the tell-tale pull in her gut that reminded her of her duty. Habitually, she lowered her moon to make way for her sister's brazen sunlight, wishing for one minute that she could freeze time and continue on this moment, where Twilight, the one thing that held her close to any semblance of a normal life was now sleeping soundly, oblivious to the world.
A quick nuzzle to the cheek, and the lavender mare stirred, curling up into graceful coils before stretching and opening her luminous amethyst eyes unto the world.
"Morning" she said simply, yawning as Luna smiled and stretched her back, staving off her own show of fatigue once more.
"Good morning Twilight" she curtly replied, leaning down to plant a kiss on the mare's cheek. She smiled and stretched herself out much like Twilight did not one minute earlier and rested back beside her lover.
Twilight watched her curiously then turned her attention to the lake.
"Princess... what happened last night was..." she began, only to be cut off by a nuzzle from the Princess. That very muzzle that not hours before had showered her with affection of a less chaste nature. The thought made her blush once more.
"Last night was wonderful, and I do not regret it." she said with a smile as she pulled back from her lover's soft lavender coat. Twilight smiled and sighed.
"I don't regret it either, but, what do I tell my friends?" she asked and Luna raised an eyebrow.
"Do you have to?" she tilted her head and Twilight giggled gently.
"Well, Rarity tends to have an eye for such things. Once she sees the, no doubt noticeable, change in demeanor, as I've heard that's a trait after a particularly... I'm rambling aren't I?" she asked and Luna, who had, until that point, been successfully holding in her laughter at the unicorn's rant, burst into a fit of laughter. She was promptly joined by Twilight, and after a few minutes they both sighed. Luna looked towards the shining cliff-city of Canterlot, just visible as an outlined blob of colour on the mountainside.
Twilight followed her gaze and sighed, making Luna look back at her.
"You have to leave don't you?" she asked and Luna smiled gently, nodding.
"I am afraid so. Duty calls, and while I love spending time here, I am still a princess." she solemnly whispered the last part as though the thought still caused her pain. Twilight slumped gently.
Luna looked up and trotted over to Twilight's side.
"I'll miss you" Twilight said and Luna smiled to the lake, wrapping a wing around Twilight and pulling her closer.
"I know, and I will miss you. But, I hear the Summer Sun Celebration is coming up soon, perhaps you and your friends could come to Canterlot? I would love to see you there" she said, marked by a kiss upon her lover's cheek.
Twilight smiled and leant into the kiss.
"I would love to, Princess"
The rest of their time at the lake consisted of merely watching the waves lap the shore. Every now and then a breeze would ruffle their coats and, in the case of Luna, her wings. They, however, had to eventually go back to town. Luna's chariot had already arrived, the two night-black guards with their serpentine wings had drawn quite a crowd.
Almost as one the ponies turned and smiled at the Princess, some even waving. She smiled back, happier that she had come to the town amidst bows and respectful, even fearful looks, but left with smiles and even waves from friends.
As she climbed into the chariot, Twilight waved her off as the guards began to flap their wings as they ran, the chariot rising into the air back towards Canterlot.
As Twilight watched her go, she heard the tell-tale footfalls of her assistant, Spike.
"Twilight! Where have you been all this time, hmm?" he asked, and Twilight giggled and tapped him on the head.
"Tell you later. Now come on, I'm in the mood for some apple pie, let's go annoy Applejack for the day."
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I would like to see this continue if you don't mind.
Hopefully happy chapters.
We want happy. Too many Twiluna fics go "Oh crap, needs to be dark and edgy hurdles and relationship troubles that tear the soul and break the heart or is bad story!"
It's like, why the fuck don't we deserve a happy Twiluna fic? I was a good pony this year.
Needs more happy happy joy joy.
mmmm Yes, quite refreshing. But still this being just at the beginning... I NEED more. The story just begs to be told and read.
One of the hardest relationships it is possible to have is one with someone who has a duty they cannot escape. There is always a parting and the knowledge that the next time together must also end with a parting.
2228274 Holy, go back to the MDA, you are drunk. 12 chapters is not the beginning.
2228261 But Have you?
Have you really?
Cute and kinda funny. I like that last line let's go annoy Applejack that was funny.
I would love to see more, personally, but would still be satisfied with this ending as well. It was a good read, and I've enjoyed it.
2228357 I second that.
yay update, want more plz, im also interested in celestia's comment about how "ele of harmony are as timeless as we are" maybe can add twi becoming twilicorn?, or heck the whole mane 6, since they are the ele of harmony as a whole, xD i smell a sequel.
2228261 Dat feel, bro.
Waaaaaaiiiiiii?!
Maybe one more chapter for the Summer Sun Celebration? Honestly I'm fine with this being the ending, after all, you're the author. We are merely observers of your art.
tl;dr Nice story, I enjoyed it, another chapter is fine, ending it here is also fine.
If there are more chapters they damn well better be happy. I mean, what reason is there to tack dark or sad stuff on?
I could do with like 1 or 2 more chaptters such as people finding out.
Commence read.
I wish I could bug Applejack for some pie.
Well, it was a lovely trip. Sad to see it end, but that's how it is.
...That doesn't mean, however, that I wouldn't mind a few extra chapters...
D'aw....
....
wait, what?
I would love to see this continued, personally.
Well, if this is where the story ends in your head, don't let us bug you into changing your vision. However, if there is more, I'd be really happy to see it.
This does seem like a possible ending point though...
If it is the end, I'm looking forward to whatever you do in the future!
----------
Colon.
Comma.
"Good morning Twilight" she curtly
Comma.
Period or comma with a reversal on the "Twilight said"
Comma.
Period.
Comma.
2228292
That depends on your outlook. After all, there are stories with more than 300 chapters, which would make 12 chapters only the beginning.
2228294
Fuck no, I've stomped verbal mudholes in the asses of hundreds of people this year and it's only the beginning of the third month.
... But they always deserved it. So I totally deserve happy TwiLuna.
Ugh. I had a big whole write-up prepared, where I analyzed the first two paragraphs and explained what was wrong with them, but then my browser crashed (what the hell Chrome, you've never crashed before). I don't feel that it's worth the effort of writing it up again, as your writing has not improved since I last commented.
The same errors are being made as when I last commented, and it's still difficult to read as a result. Two biggies: (1) Learn how to punctuate properly. Most of your dialogue is missing punctuation. I posted a link to the guide I made last time. Also, every time you use a semicolon, you're using it incorrectly. You should use a colon where you've been using semicolons. Learn the difference. (2) Pick a tense, and stick to it. You're constantly jumping between past and present tense, and it's very confusing. Plus, it's an amateur's mistake. Last time I remember this being an issue in writing back in grade school.
2235894
>No improvement
>spends time typing up giant fucking post
>browser crashes
>makes smaller comment outlining same things that are wrong as last time
>good time management to your left.
2236256 Pretty much. Time management? Not one of my strengths. But I did get to spend some time writing about writing, which I enjoy doing. So in the end, time well spent I suppose.
I for one, express my interest
You are an excellent story teller and I would love to see you continue to share your talent with us.
If you end it, please have the decency to yourself, as a writer, to give it a natural ending, please do not force the ending just because you want to move on. I would rather you just left the story unfinished completely, than force an unnatural ending on such a good piece of literature.
wonderful story! i hope you give the ending and the events leading up to it just as much attention.
2267966 Just let it happen 24.media.tumblr.com/254059e185bf4dcd0f898257a7010df1/tumblr_mjfghoBeJi1qdawfoo3_400.jpg
Noticing a ton of punctuation errors here...
More chapters please. :)
Good TwiLuna.
Maybe this story will be continued in the future, maybe not..
But I hope it does.