• Member Since 14th Jun, 2012
  • offline last seen Yesterday

Seer


I'll turn into something

T

Whenever Sweetie Belle stays at her sister's she can bet that Rarity will wake her up for school in the morning.
Today is no different.
Isn't it?


Winner of wishcometrue's first PANIC FICTION contest for the Quills and Sofas Speedwriting Group.
This was originally written in under an hour. This version has received some refinement. A big thanks to Flashgen, Zontan and Syke Jr for editing/help, and all who preread in the contest.
This story has a sequel, Whispers in The Dark, that was written by my friend Shaslan as part of a Quills and Sofas contest

This is a love story.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 23 )

I love this story. The way you blend the fever-dream-nightmare-horror stuff and the heavy emotional bits really take this story to the next level. It's genuinely stunning and it makes me tear up when I read it. Well done as always.

Masterful use of repetition. The lack of given context really pulls together that disorienting nightmare feel, too.

Excellent work!

quoth the pony "nevermore"

So ... this was waking up on saturday, no school, Rarity letting her sleep in?

Enough detail to give you a idea what the dream may be about, but vague enough to make you wonder what it was really about.

Hey! This was reviewed here! Thanks for picking me as a reviewer, and I hope you find what I had to say helpful. Deuces!

can someone tell me the full story of this or what they think is happening because I believe something is manipulating Sweetie Belle's dreams

10231406
I think Rarity is dead and Sweetie has problems with coping with it.

10234630
or she has a fear that her sister may not be there one day scary that idea is

10234755
It just that in the end she actually wakes up and the last sentence says that the boutique is silent.

And in the dream she hears a recording of Rarity's voice, not her actual voices. And the white rose on the bed, when she saw it she wanted to cry but didn't know why, so maybe she is in denial.

10235244
Could be also the dreams are vary traumatic I wonder if any of them have anything to do with how Rarity died

10235270
That blinding red light probably means something, but I have no idea what.

10235291
Maybe, but the boutique is still standing.

10235296
could be that it was rebuilt since one of her false Awakening dreams had the place look different

Finally managed to read this:twilightsmile:

Well, a good storyline, a bit thin on the horror though.

I really didn't find this to be much of a horror story but that doesn't mean I thought it was bad. I thought it was paced really well and had just enough build up without making it get boring and then that final line gave me chills. The whole story built up to that and the implications of that final line are just so good. This gets a thumbs up from me.

I want to say I've had nightmares akin to this. Never very fun - I've been six deep in a nightmare and it's almost like hell pulling yourself up out from the mire. Not gonna lie - reading that first bit about turning around - that was some very real reptilian fear I felt for a split second.

endless waking... those aren't fun.

Man. I think I've said it before, but you have such a talent for this style of feverish, nightmarish, emotionally-charged prose. It's the sort of feelings and visuals that, by all rights, should be impossible to represent in the written word-- but you land it every single time!

It's also incredible how well you balance representations of horror with representations of grief, love, and longing. I'm as chilled as I am heartbroken by this piece, and that takes incredible. Really great work

I know you didn't write it, but could you please link to the sequel Shaslan made, Whispers in the Dark?

Thanks! The article is very interesting and helpful. 
To know more visit: escaperoom.com

10154770
Such a happy thought.

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