• Member Since 18th Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen 41 minutes ago

Jade Ring


The purpose of a story is that it's a story. It can be more, but it can never be less.

T

This story is a sequel to Grogar: A Hearth's Warming Horror Story


Eight years have passed since that terrible night
and Equestria still counts the cost,
When the winds did blow and the bells did ring
and all but four were lost.

The truth of that night was covered up.
At royal request, three lied.
One, though, told her story true
about how her family died.

Three have moved on, content to live,
to forget that horrible night.
The one who stayed true is locked away,
crowned with a mane of white.

The nightmares of foalhood fade away
but never truly depart.
They lurk within us, tucked inside
the deepest recesses of our heart.

A cold wind blows from Tambelon,
the bells again do ring.
The Windigoes roar and bluster and rage
awaiting orders from their king.

The four survivors will reunite
for a lesson must be learned;
it doesn't matter how old you are
now that GROGAR has returned...

Chapters (4)
Comments ( 17 )

I am already interested

Those flashback decriptions of the horned one himself keep making me smile.

I know krampus, a dream, and the trailer for the movie inspired the first story.

Did you by chance watch the American Dad krampus episode?

This shall be a thing of horrible, horrible beauty. I can't wait! :pinkiehappy:

“I know. But I’ve got a special feeling about this year.” Pence looked over at his desk. “I think this just might be the best Hearth’s Warming ever.”

Yeah. Right. We already know how special it'll be.

"Be good."

It's still hard to believe that Applejack trying to make a deal with Grogar was pointless. And her fate. I still get goosebumps.

Well, let's see how much more trauma you can inflict on this timeline....:trollestia:

Bloom's situation aside, this trip doesn't seem off to a bad start. Looking forward to seeing how it all comes together... or falls apart.

Consider the original Grogar story.

It ends on one of the most hopelessly bleak notes I've seen in fiction. It's probably the fanfiction equivalent of 1984's ending. It paints an utterly horrific image of the consequences of Grogar's coming, and leaves the reader with truly terrifying unanswered questions about what comes next. And I love it for being a story with the balls to use the destruction of Ponyville, and not as a motivation for action like most stories do, but as the final note.

Cut to the sequel.

Right off the bat, I'm not a big fan of the decision to frame Snowfall Frost as a victim of a writer's creative liberties. Claiming the story really took place in Trottingham is a theory that falls apart almost immediately, due to none of the characters even attempting British accents during the episode, and also feels like it's trying too hard to make A Hearth's Warming Tale and A Christmas Carol precisely one and the same. And on the note of Grogar, and tying him into the windigos, it feels unnecessary and the sort of thing that a sequel does where it tries to shove in backstory.

A big part of what I loved about the first Grogar was that you didn't bother explaining where Grogar came from, why he did what he did, or anything else. He was very much akin to the villains of old; less a monster with an agenda, and more a force of nature with rules about what made you easy prey. His lack of dialogue, his imposing nature, the way that the momentum of his actions is felt more than explained, it was all brilliant. And then you try and tease us with 'And now we'll see what made him'.

Coming back to what I loved about the ending of the first one, the greatest mistake any sequel can make is any flavor of 'the first one was all a hoax'. It was one of the biggest crutches of the second Ghostbusters movie, and while you do manage to underplay it by having the world acknowledge that Ponyville is gone, you rather missed a trick by making the doctors pass off Grogar as a fabrication of AB's mind.

Equestria is a magical world, Jade. Within living memory of the protagonists of the Grogar stories, a monster from long ago that we thought was just a story turned good and became the second princess. It's one of the very few fictional worlds that would not only have a full-on armed deployment against Grogar, but would deliberately weaponize Hearth's Warming spirit and good behavior to make sure he can never come back. And you went for the intrinsically human response of 'this kid be crazy, history is doomed to repeat'.

It's funny that you brought up me, because this actually has a lot more in common with the Other Purple Alicorn incident than it might at first glance appear. In both our cases, the first story was well-liked, brought in a lot of new and fresh attention, and sooner or later (respectively) we decided to cash in on that and re-ignite the passion. Problem is, the original was self-contained and said all it needed to say the first time. What was left was to explore the few avenues not explored the first time, upon which we realized precisely why we didn't explore those avenues the first time.

I respect your decision to end this story rather than force yourself to write it. I eagerly look forward to the rest of Wicker Mare, and indeed anything else you're passionate about.

...

I do sincerely doubt I would have enjoyed this.

Holy shit. Even in summation that sounds deliciously dark.

I can understand your struggle.

I'm sure I would've liked the story in full. I'll still keep this faved.

Ironically, after the opening I was looking forward to this more than to the original. But, eh, I can relate- some things just won't come, no matter how attractive they look in your head. (I could go on about this Rainbow Rocks AU that popped into my head where, instead of the Dazzlings filling the villain role, the "sirens" were the human CMC who had been infected by and addicted to magic- no way is that getting off the ground.:twilightsheepish:)

Yeah, this sounds pretty exciting, but I think I prefer the summary to actually sitting through ponies being horrid to each other for a few more weeks. ("Then why are you even here?" It's Jade, I'm not about to dismiss it out of hand.) At least that infidelity thing didn't get too dragged out.

Having never read this before, and not knowing if there exists a sequel; I can only say but one thing.

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A Dream Of Christmas
The Crimson Beast of Winter towers above you on the snow-drowned street, its sack open wide to receive your offering. "I WILL TAKE ALL YOU CAN GIVE. I WILL TAKE EVERYTHING YOU HAVE. I WILL TAKE MORE."

I agree with King Moriarty but find it sad to be cancelled

I must admit that I am a tad bit disappointed that this is a dead story, I understand your reasons and accept them, but I do sincerely hope that maybe someday you might come back to this story or another Grogar themed story. I actually liked the scene with Applebloom, it gave me chills to think about a character who in the show was always so lively being reduced to a drooling husk, and the scene with Penny and her brother was cute enough, and finally the thing with Snowfall Frost was rather intriguing, I know others disliked it, but I actually prefer this over the show's version, it's like they were merely trying to cash in on a classic rather than truly respecting it, sure there have been dozens of kid shows that make use of Christmas Carol, but the ones I've seen (and actually still remember) respected the story for what it was.

Wow, that is such a deep and dark plot. I can understand why you didn't write it. Although I am disappointed, I am very grateful that you at least put the plot on paper so that we could see how the story ended. Thank you so much for your wonderful writing.

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