- Member Since 22nd Dec, 2012
- offline last seen Yesterday
Shakespearicles
The Man. The Legend. The World's Strongest Writer™
Shakespearicles
Joined 22nd Dec, 2012 ·
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Shakespearicles · 6.5k words · 241 37 · 7.4k views
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Let me be the first to say faved and upvoted.
Isn't she honorary family to Applejack from when she had her dumb fuck competition with whatever the fuck the names of those two were?
9907524
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9907548
One week later...
"Ms. Dash?"
"Yes?"
"You got my children to fuck. Prepare to die."
"Wait... why do you have an anchor?"
9907524
your profile pic just fits so well with this entire chapter
9907524
Probably only on cousin level or so. By far not close enough for her to be into it.
What does that have to do with the story?
9907812 Because Matchmaker.
yourdictionary.com/images/definitions/lg/10488.match.jpg
Also, Dash is surely causing chaos from all this.
Well....I'll give her points for not beating around the Bush at least.
9907619
"I said 'prepare to die', what part of that was unclear?!"
I lost. Hard.
well that was an interesting ch. did dwk help you write some of it?
A lot of ponies are going to be mad at Rainbow when Barley ends up pregnant, but the twins are going to be especially furious when that pregnancy keeps her out of The Wonderbolts.
I love the idea of the girls comparing their brothers' dick sizes. Also you gotta know with a name like pickle barrel, that is is gonna have a fat one when he gets older.
Barley should enjoy getting stuffed by him on the regular.
I can has a sequel? Pretty please with a three-layer German Chocolate cake on top?
........, .........................., ......wut?
9908362
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"Pickle Barrel cum quarts!"
Sadly, ponies rarely get that joke.
Swallowed
That -> than
Well should have a comma after it, and it -> in
Great work otherwise. 9/10
9908717
Fixed. Thank you.
9908672
Sadly.
9908047
Reference to this
...Rainbow's dead, isn't she? When their parents, and her friends, find out.
9908831
"The only way to make it stop is for you to spill the beans!"
*Applejack knocks over a barrel of beans*
"...Seriously, AJ?"
in the next story, he gets his sister pregnant.
Well that escalated quickly.
There are certain areas where Dash really should've been better informed.
Sequel: Rainbow Dash goes to prison.
9909682
I'd read it, I wonder what Equestria all mare prisons are like.
Definitely one of the most fun and sexy fics I've read on this site in quite some time.
The humor between the Mane 6 was excellent. Just OOC enough to make it hilarious, without really losing the feeling that these are the characters from the show. Just perhaps the character during behind the scenes moments that don't make it to the cut that airs on TV.
The sex between the twins and Dash was great, including a smattering of my favorite kinks. And I loved having pervert Dash there as a reader-insert character. I almost expected her to hold the twins by their necks and command "Now kiss!"
I would really encourage more chapters if you felt so inclined, as Dash takes her new calling as incest-matchmaker and uses whatever tricks she can to get other family pairs to hook up (while she watches and clops nearby).
So in this fic, Dash is not only an encourager of incest and foalcon, but she's also a slut.
9909781
"The Big Bird Cage" only with pegasi instead of Pam Grier and Sid Haig.
Who needs eFukt when we've got all the funny porn on FiMFiction?
I'm too entertained by the proceedings to care about the characterization.
That was some pure comedy I just mainlined.
I don't drink and this story so far has me needing to find the biggest bottle of Vodquila, mix it with Everclear, and wipe the whole hard drive clean!
9912476
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9923929
Fine! If you really want to twist my arm about it, I guess I'll have to write a damn sequel.
Poor Dash, she wants the dick so bad, such a shame she's a lesbian though, lol.
9912476
Brain Drano. For when you absolutely, positively must forget the last 8 years.
9907524
The Flim Flam Brothers, and I think she wants a blood link not a formal link.
10000172
I don't think she's smart enough to actually put that much thought into caring.
And that was one the episodes that turned me off to the series. The Flim Flam brothers won that thing, and why the hell didn't the Apples work with them.
Also...
Meanwhile In Canterlot....
"Really?"
"Yes sister. No law here has been broken."
"... TIME IS OF THE FUCKING ESSENCE LUNA, MAKE THIS ILLEGAL GOGOGGOGOGO!"
"I AM GO!"
......
One Parlaiment meeting later
"Well fuck, there goes our weekend."
I see...
Well.... That happend
I got a picture with the exact same thing happening to Fluttershy. It's hilarious every time.... And I bet you saw it too!
... Look at my horse. My horse is amazing... Give it a lick...
You said this was your best Rainbow Dash ever. Time to find out!
This story is already off to a great start.
Lizard lovers blown the fuck out.
The rest of the opening paragraph was solid too. Great start!
PInkie confirmed Midwestern Pony. Midwest represent!
Why do I get the feeling Fulfilling PInkie's Dream would have gotten three times as many upvotes if I'd simply chloroformed her in the first five minutes? Live and learn and don't write Pinkie in a clopfic.
You know, I've agonized over how to appropriately write the Mane Six in mature/sex fiction before but your angle of just saying "fuck the canon with a rusty shiv" has demonstrated utility here. I gotta say I'm pretty fucking impressed right now.
Schoolwork!? Heresy! As a pony, Twilight is at least 21 and I refuse to hear otherwise. I am editing this line in my head to say "day planner". Also, I'd change 'my' to 'the'.
Poor Applejack. Sending her my love and sobriety.
Rainbow Dash isn't exactly the sharpest tool in the shed so I can excuse the weird phrasing somewhat but it should read 'whose was the first dick you ever saw'. I mean otherwise, any dick counts, including a random animal.
Yes, I really am that petty.
Fluttershy is playing the radio hole as usual, I see. Opie Hughes would be proud.
Applejack is so much smarter than she lets on. God bless you, tradhorse.
Did you mean 'console'?
Going off-topic for a second to just ask what in the name of Saint Futa Celestia do people see in this cursed-as-fuck Zephyrshy shipping? The idea of that lazy, unlikable, scraggly-ass bearded cunt fucking anything gives me PTSD. I would rather chug bleach and dive into a vat filled with ebola than read that, no matter how legendary the author is. Hard pass.
Thank you backing me up on this, Dashie.
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Holy shit! Now, this is some fucking good comedy! I am favoriting this story as hard as I can!
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I've suspected it for some time. I think she is. She's certified re-re.
This line of cringe could only work in a story like this one.
Unironically this if I had a sister.
Wew, that was some good shit, Shakes. This is the most enjoyable thing I have ever read from you and you're right about Rainbow Dash; you flat-out aced her character.
10850167
I meant as the administration for the School of Friendship.
10851233
I tend to forget everything to do with season 8 and especially the School of Friendship. I acknowledge my error.
The way you had the Mane Six arrive at the town is somehow less contrived and stupid than the actual episode. Props.
Oh, dear.
pbs.twimg.com/media/CgMIi5wUAAAcPnG?format=jpg&name=small
This is a minor nitpick but it should say 'we'.
She has the same vag as Phoebe. Hawt!
General Kenobi, you are a bold one!
Nice continuity between this story and The Grand Part. You did mention the older and more sexually experienced a mare was, the more watery and bitter her cum is.
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Missing 'a' between 'still' and 'colt'.
It's all true, even the parts that are false.
Typo.
You are so going to Hell, Dash.
You get the fuck out of here with that shit, PIckle.
There should be laws against peeing inside your sister's pussy, I swear to god.
HIlarious visual!
Man, that is one tiny leg!
This tome can't contain all this truth. You're missing a comma between 'okay' and 'Pickle'.
Using advanced G5 tactics to get her pregnant. Quite innovative, our little Dashie!
They even got a cutie mark out of it. Good way to finish off the story. Not much else to add to my previous comment. This is just a really nice story with some good laughs.
Been a hot minute since I read anything on here, but damn, this was pretty good stuff my guy.
Nicely written! Hahaha.