LilSlipsy
Joined 22nd Dec, 2017 ·
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Very nice, heh.
Tho I’d definitely like to see a less rushed sequel maybe?
9927284
Hehe, glad you liked it, but I think this will be more of a one and done kind of story. Certainly more to come in the future though with other tails.
A very nice casual quickie, but with just enough around it to make your characters feel normal and realistic. It can be tough to do that in such a short story and would have been easy to feel like everything was simply rushed out of the way to get to the sex, but you took your time (unlike your characters
) to get those little moments of characterization in there. Bravo.
9927361
I do prefer there to be some nice story and character development in most of the thing that I consume. Better for when the sexy times happen. Glad you noticed something like that cause it's something I actively try to do.
9927372
The casualest of sexy scenarios. Part of your balanced breakfast.
super nice story, I hate these mornings when you have to rush to get out in time :D
That was a super hot story. I'd love to read a sequel or a prequel to know more of the lives between this father and daughter
Deliciously casual. Love it!
Nice and simple.
9927482
Or gush getting off in time
9927843
Thanks! Though, with all the other stories I want to write, I don't think there will be anything further for this one. The rest is up to your imagination.
9928868 9928968
Glad you enjoyed it!
very nice story, casual morning fun with good detail but not too much
Probably needs the porn tag considering the spoiler tags. They added the porn tag cause Sex tags are required to even talk about sex in a story where no sex happens.
Really nice short story!
I think it could use a sentence or two to heat both ponies up, but it works as it is.
9929166
Thanks!
9929467
Yea... fixed!
9930228
Thanks for the input!
But, hmm... do you have any examples of something that may sound better? or would improve it specifically? At least for those two, they aren't really getting heated up. They're really just trying to go as fast as possible with one goal in mind: getting a quick, morning orgasm in. Boysenberry was even using lube because it's faster and there was no real time for foreplay or build up. I do agree that it is nice to have a bigger spark and heating up in general, though I don't think it was what I was aiming for with this.
9930558
I understand the intention. What I mean is: we (the readers) recieve a hint that something might happen when Boysenberry grabs some lube. I would have added a little more. Like, for example, she might have noticed that her dad has a morning wood. He might try to hide it or display it openly. Another option is to describe how he rubs himself against her flank a little to become hard enough for penetration. A little something to make a switch from 'making breakfast' to 'making my filly cum' more natural.
Again, thank you for the story.
P.S.
Oops. Lost 'in'.
Nice quicky
Gotta go fast!