• Member Since 15th May, 2018
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mushroompone


Enjoying a coffee in every South Jersey diner simultaneously

T

In a world without that first fateful Rainboom, Twilight Sparkle is still a blankflank. She spends her youth in a "dumping ground" public school for other ponies deemed unimportant, uninteresting, and without futures by general society.

A chance encounter with the guidance counselor, however, leads Twilight to follow her instincts and travel to Manehattan, where a mysteriously familiar pony now owns a bakery...

Big changes are on the horizon for the both of them.


Like this fic? Here's some jams you may also enjoy (aka, my writing playlist for this fic)

Chapters (15)
Comments ( 74 )

Alright. This has my attention.
Hope this continues.

What is applejack's accent in the story?

10041198
The same as in the show. I don't really write out Applejack's drawl phonetically as I've seen some other authors do. I personally find it distracting as a reader.
As for why she still has her accent, stay tuned!

A story where the Sonic Rainboom never happened... But there's no Nightmare Moon tag. You're going to say why she isn't ruling or trying to take over Equestria, right?

Was honestly not expecting this twist.

How does this not have more views? This take on Twilight, full of ennui, is rather original. Coupled with the flashes of what should have been, and her current situation, I'm quite curious to see where you take this.

This really can get somewhere interesting. We know very well the world of the show, but since I guess Starlight won the battle here, this is totally new.

The pairing is really interesting and rare, cannot wait to see where this is going.

Oh, hey, I'd forgotten about this, what a pleasant surprise! Here's hoping Twilight and AJ can help eachother find themselves.

Ohmigosh you broke her toilet?"

"That's a shit first date."

:facehoof:

This has been a fun read so far and I like this pairing. Good job.

The floodgates are opening. Literally and metaphorically, lol.

Not gonna lie, I like this twilight more than the show one, this one feels real and is really witty.

What a great idea! I wonder if any of the other mane 6 will eventually join up. Either way, I'm already imagining all the crazy shenanigans Lyra and Vinyl will whip up, and how overwhelmed Twilight will be.

This fic is largely reader-guided!

Oh.. !?

Well first things first. She has to do the gig her band has set up. I kinda wanna say that it shouldn't be a one off thing. As if she does not hate it and is still unsure of it so she does a few gigs with them.
Kinda imagine that at one point she see's a Pinkie in the crowd and just gets inspired to do a song that only Pinkie should know and sang before.
Maybe during this first gig AJ hears twilight playing or something.
Heck, maybe twilight wants to try out baking and asks AJ?
So many possibilities

Is this the King Sonbra, or Night-Mare Moon version ?

10177967
This universe is NOT one of the alternate timelines explored in the cutie re-mark. At this point in the timeline, the 1000th Summer Sun Celebration has not yet happened, though it is quickly approaching!

I wrote down the first few elements of the periodic table in order. According to my quick arithmetic, that landed me at a B-. How many more would I have to get wrong to get a C?

She's basically saying 'I wanna stay in school'

I could do that. I could proctor exams. I could teach, I bet. I’m pretty smart. Was it all that hard to just… make other ponies be smart, too?

If only Twi if only

As she neared the end, I opened my mouth to say something, but immediately snapped it again when the teacher dropped the paper screen and stared down at me. There was a strange look in her eyes. Familiar, sort of. Like she was in on some secret about me that I couldn’t quite remember.

Oh my gosh 'shit' (super funny by the by ) no offense by the way author

So far I'm liking what I'm reading keep it up you have talent I can tell a few bumps here and there but still talented non the less

For the record, I do totally get what Compass Rose was saying about following impulses. It’s like a less fairy-tale way of saying ‘follow your heart,’ y’know? I mean, thinking about all the art, the food, the innovations that wouldn’t exist without a little impulsivity and a little support… well, it’s enough to make anypony wanna drop out of school and start tinkering in their garage, myself included.

Smart words :twilightsmile:

I, stubborn little turd that I was, crossed my forelegs over my chest and rolled away from him.

I love this fic :rainbowlaugh:

“And I bet I’ll have lots more time to keep studying on my own if I go to public school… maybe I can even take some extracurriculars!” I looked up at Shining. “Do you think public school has reading club? Or library club? Or study club?”

Where's dat 's'

10058063
I think its because it hasn't been long since this fic was added on here so give some time yah know

My thoughts halted there, full-stop. Why would I care if she hated me? She lived in Manehatten, a place I would hopefully be leaving as soon as possible. She seemed to have an overall grumpy demeanor (although I suppose the circumstances of our first interaction were less than stellar). So what if she didn't like me?

I love this Lol

At least they are friendly ish now XD to bad it happened after Twilight got dat toilet water :rainbowlaugh:

“Process of elimination!” I shouted.

Book title :D

This is totally going on my favorite list yeah anyway author-san plz understand you have my attention and patience most of all you have my like you deserve it since you've created this master piece keep it up ;)

I know this is an AU, but Twilight's narration sounds so different from her canon self that it's hard for me to imagine Twilight's voice saying it. It might as well be an OC. This story isn't technically badly written - I'm just having trouble getting into it.

10179143
Yeah, I agree! This is a major deviation from the Twilight we know and love.

In the show, Twilight is your textbook "gifted kid." She's a teacher's pet with a lot of personal attention. She has frequent panic attacks over imperfections in her schoolwork. Early in the show, she often speaks in a way that is inaccessible to other ponies.

There's a flipside, though! Many intelligent students are disregarded because of their inability to perform on standardized tests. Kids who have extraordinary intellectual abilities that do NOT receive this attention, support, and stimulation can become withdrawn, bitter, under-achievers, while STILL being plagued by panic attacks, suffering from anxiety disorders and ADHD, and feeling as if everything they do must be perfect in an effort to prove their intelligence to those who disregarded them in the first place.

As someone in education, I have seen more of these two kids than I can count. The heavy dose of luck involved in Twilight becoming Celestia's protege has always reminded me of this dichotomy; had Twilight not had the help of the rainboom in hatching Spike's egg, would she have been chewed up and spit out by the school system?

So, yes! Since her life was so different early on (most "gifted kids" are discovered and weeded out around 1st grade), she has developed into a very different pony! It is hard to imagine what Twilight might have been like if these circumstances had befallen her. Much of the way she behaves in this fic is based upon my own experiences in a poor school system, and the experiences of "gifted kid" high school students who were abandoned by their mentors long ago. They are a bitter bunch haha

Nice! I was wondering when this was gonna update. Also...

Most other ponies are far too cynical for my tastes

What kind of bizarro alternate Equestria is this where cynical ponies are the norm? :trixieshiftright:

I just realized that Lyra is the consistent friend she had in the original timeline and this one.
Does that mean Lyra is best pony?

Even without the magic, friendship seems to be a hidden talent of Twilight's. Perhaps if she keeps touching lives, even in small ways, the ball of fear and doubt within her will begin to unravel.

"Note: if you mess up, just call it a holiday,” Lyra added in the same faux-newscaster voice as me. “Everypony will play along, and probably throw you a party."

Legit what I'd say and people would take pitty on me and laugh. My one chance at attention XD

10306537
Dude. You always manage to pick up the exact subtleties I'm laying down. It's so goddamn satisfying :pinkiesad2:

Omigosh. I like this AU version of Twi! And she has friends? Vinyl and Lyra? A band too, playing music? I can really get behind this! I'm really enjoying this so far! Hopefully Applejack eases up a little bit and realizes it was an accident. And is it just me or is Twi somewhat remembering/having visions of the canon Equestria? She mentioned something about a hat while thinking of AJ. Plus the itchy phantom wings thing she feels!

It's a pleasant surprise when I come across fanfics that have the main character(s) interacting with both "side" characters and other "main" characters; it's almost like watching a balancing act at a neat show or something. Personally, while I enjoy the (so far few) interactions between Twi and AJ, I also like seeing Vinyl and Lyra there too. Adding in others to the mix (Octavia was mentioned, and I wonder about Moondancer), even if they're other "main" characters, might shake things up a bit? How's Rarity doing, for instance? Is it possible she still managed to get a job if not her own store in Manehattan? That was her dream for awhile (as well as Canterlot).
The focus is of course Twilight and Applejack, an odd pairing of sorts to see, especially when you add in weird visions and phantom feelings. Even if it's just cameos, I'm intrigued on how some other ponies that were kind of close or affected by Twilight are doing. The CMC? Rarity and Moondancer, as previously mentioned? I don't expect Sunset Shimmer to be in this story; mentioned maybe vaguely?
Keep up the great work!

10336605
Thank you so much for your detailed comments!! This is the kind of thing I live for :twilightblush:

As for your questions and curiosities, I can tell you with absolute certainty that many of the characters you've mentioned will be working their way into the story eventually... This is a story about fate and destiny, and about which parts of ourselves are intrinsic. I suppose the "intrinsic parts" of the mane six COULD be open to interpretation... But I feel like most of us would come to the same conclusion on that one :raritywink:

Ooh I had a feeling Moondancer would be Celestias student if Twilight didn't make it in! Whoo! We're making more progress with Applejack; it feels like she probably shares a few of Twilights sentiments. Perhaps she wants to open up, but being raised (?) in Manehattan rather than Ponyville made her a bit more.. Stiff, stoic? And has strong opinions about city folk to boot; one can't help but wonder why it seems she picks on Canterlot more than others though.
I'm finding this to be more thought provoking then I initially thought upon coming across this fanfic; kudos for yet another great chapter!

Omigosh (again)! They're calling themselves the Cutie Mark Crusaders, CMC for short! That's.. rather ironic methinks coming from Twilight!
Ah, but it seems while it felt like a step forward in a sort of friendship between Twi and AJ, she made it clear she doesn't like Twilight. A step back, though we as readers I think have a clearer understanding of this Applejack. And that scolding along with those assumptions. Twi is a rebel because she "gave up" (more like it sounds like her parents and Shining Armor and other ponies made things kind of difficult, plus no cutie mark and Twilight still has some anxiety issues), and reminds AJ of.. I'm guessing her family, and what she could have had (working on the farm, raised by Granny Smith and her parents, and having friends in Ponyville).
It's kind of a shame (and is saddening to hear) she thinks her and Twilight can't be friends or like each other just because they grew up differently and she thinks that makes them "too different", therefore they aren't compatible.
Hopefully things look up for Twilight soon.
Speaking of cutie marks, did I miss something (I'm a quick reader so sometimes I have to re read because I miss things) because I'm not sure if it was said what cutie mark Applejack has; if she even has one.

Other ponies are noticing things too. This universe is intriguing; kind of melancholy seeing how it is actually possible ponies like Cheese Sandwich might have started out or changed, all because Twilight and her friends change as well.
As Lyra said though, different is only good or bad depending on how you perceive it, what you make of it.
*inhales*
Applejack doesn't have her cutie mark either?? Does this mean the other mane six and possibly others don't have theirs either?? Geez, Starlight would probably love this place!

This universe you've created, and the characters.. it's amazing. I'm somewhat speechless at this point.
More blank flanks. Likely due to Twilight not getting hers, and her friends, and so on and so forth.
I like this Twilight Sparkle. Really enjoy seeing her doing magic (not advanced stuff but still) and mostly her interactions, reactions, and thoughts/thought process.
She's naturally being a friend, or friendly?, even without Celestia playing chess and using her as a pawn, so to speak.
After binge reading up to this point, the latest update, I've found more inspiration to try my hand (or perhaps hoof? ;3) at writing, or at least planning, some sort of story that involves Twilight basically defying her "destiny". Honestly I believe in destiny, but I believe in choices more. And I love fanfics that feel like this. This one among a few others I've read that give this satisfying feeling of "Twilight taking her destiny and fate into her own hooves and things can still turn out okay". Fanfics that breath life into an AU (or multiple AUs) and characters in ways that some people think shouldn't or can't be.
Thank you for this low-key rollercoaster of a ride. And I can't wait to see what's in store for us (including the characters) next. =)

Fun little world. I wonder how many ponies grand total are getting flashes of a failed destiny.

This is criminally underrated. Seriously, how has this not got hundrens of likes? You have such a unique and captivating idea that is being executed flawlessly (apart from one spelling mistake in the first chapter that made me laugh).
I love how you've done your characters and I hope you continue to explore and develope the relationship between Lyra, Vinyl and Twilight. Never thought of these three being Cutie Mark Crusaders and moking Princess Celestia origins. You make these three just flow so naturally together that they seem like better friends than the actual Mane Six. Well mainly Lyra and Twilight, Scratch hasn't had the amount of character shown as Lyra, but that in its self is a good thing. It shows that Vinyl is holds her cards clost to her chest and is less prone to show her feelings. Instead she just hinds behind her shades, her insecurities there but never seen. Also, Lyra cute when drunk off laughing at night.
Twilight whole situation has hit very close to home, but luckily I'm starting to find my way. Hopefully Twilight will get to get the Mane Six together again and stop Night Mare Moon! Alot can happen in one month, but hopefully Twilight can prove alot of Ponies wrong about her and become someone happy. Definitely going to go read Hearts Beat next. Hopefully I get to read more of your style and flavourful uniques in that one!

Best of luck in these trying times!

10387518
Wow!!

Thank you so much for your comment, I really love when my readers have so much to say :twilightsmile: I guess it means I'm doing something right!

I can tell you I know precisely what happened to the rest of the mane six, and Twilight will meet them eventually. Though it may not be the way you think...

I'm glad this story felt familiar. I wrote it from my own experiences in the much-to-be-desired public school system, which did a great job of stamping out creativity, originality, and self-confidence in wayyy too many kids. As someone going into education as a career, I can tell you that the impact that those early twists and turns have on a student is massive.

Glad to hear I've got you hooked, and you're planning on reading more of my work. That's the greatest compliment, by far!! Hope you enjoy the wacky ride of Hearts Beat

Also, I noticed you put my fiction in your top ten. To have it alongside such works as FO:E and The Clockwork Consequence... That means the world!!

Have a great day!

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