Deleted Scenes/What Could've Been (Warning:Mature)
While my next story in Sunset's Steps isn't going to be out for a few months, here is a bonus chapter, exploring some ideas I nearly put into the story, but took out for various reasons.
Sunset felt her anxiety grow as her mysterious enemy pulled down her hood. And-
Sunset gasped with horror, as the face before her made Sunset think she was looking in the mirror.
Only instead of the shock on her face, what was on the other face was anger. Not the selfish, bratty anger Sunset showed during the Fall Formal when she tried to steal Twilight's crown. It was anger born out of desperation that was on this Sunset's face.
"Let me tell you something," Human Sunset said in a falsely casual voice, "you know what you need to live in this world? A credit score."
Sunset felt her fear grow at the smothered anger.
"A credit score helps with everything from buying a house, to getting a job," Human Sunset continued, while walking around the bound Sunset the way a predator circles around their prey. "A good credit score helps you. A bad credit score-," she paused, trying to control her anger. "It is a good thing to have." She then marched straight toward Sunset. "But what do you think happens when someone else steals your identity," Human Sunset said, approaching the tied up pony-turned-human, "and buys things like motorbikes and apartments?" Human Sunset finished, getting into the pony girl's face.
"Maybe I can-,"
"IT RUINS YOUR LIFE!"
"Please-," Sunset began, before feeling something metal and sharp slice up her cheek. Sunset felt red running down her face, and throbbing pain to go with it. Sunset let out a scream that combined pain and fear.
"You ruined me," Human Sunset said with vindictive sadism, holding up the knife, freshly caked with Sunset's cheek blood, "so now I am going to ruin...you."
"Why are you doing this to me?" Sunset asked Quick tearfully. Quick looked utterly merciless.
"Because," Quick said coolly. He then ran up to Sunset and grabbed her breasts.
"I love playing with these titties," Quick said with a perverted smile as squeezed Sunset's breasts. Sunset felt shock at what had occurred. But that shock soon gave way to anger. Sunset felt her vision go red, as Quick continued to give her a demented grin.
Quick fell to the ground, blood coming from his nose.
"You perverted little shit!" Sunset screamed, her fist covered in blood. "When I'm through with you-," Quick held up his phone and took a picture, while Quick took a picture of himself, looking sad.
"Thank you so much Sunset," Quick said, a victorious grin on his face. Sunset's fury was replaced with confusion.
"What did you-,"
"I have a picture of you attacking me for no good reason," Quick said with a nasty smile. Sunset felt her blood run cold. "I think it would only be fare to warn everyone at CHS that the Demon Girl assaulted an innocent freshman." Sunset lunged for the phone, only for Quick to jump away from her.
"You could try and catch me," Quick said, his stance showing he could get away, "but I already saved it to my E-mails."
"Please don't send that," Sunset said pleadingly.
"Then leave," Quick said, a cold, merciless grin. "Leave, or I'll ruin you."
"Just give me-,"
"The only thing you could do for me is leap off a building," Quick said with a growl. "That would be the best thing you could do for the world. But instead, I'll give you the chance to go away. Don't, or everyone will find out you've gone berserk again."
Sunset fell to her knees, tears falling down her cheeks.
"I hate you," Sunset said with angry tears in her eyes.
"Insults won't help you," Quick said while walking away. "Leave...or else. And this conversation never happened," he finished, leaving behind a tearful Sunset.
The masked maniac chased Sunset with a chainsaw. Sunset tried to run, but the maniac seemed to faster than her.
"Help me," Sunset said screamed. Out of panic, she ran down a dark alley. She looked around, but saw no one to protect her, and panicked when she realized she was now trapped. The maniac, releasing that, strode toward her slowly, chainsaw at the ready. Sunset stammered with fear, especially when she realized the maniac was moving slowly because she was reveling her in her terror.
"Please," Sunset said. "Please don't kill me." The maniac instead moved closer to her. Time slowed as Sunset's life was down to its last seconds. Something fell from the air and tackled the maniac. When Sunset was broken out of her trance, she realized was she saw.
Gilda had brought the masked maniac to his knees. The chainsaw fell out of his hands as Gilda managed to twist the person's arms. Gilda tripped the person so that his head would smash into the pavement, knocking him out.
"Gilda," Sunset said, having regained her composure.
"Sunset," Gilda said.
"You...saved me," Sunset said.
"I guess," Gilda said. She then narrowed her eyes. "Don't think this is because I like you. The Sergeant says that a soldier protects everyone."
"Thank you," Sunset said.
"You can thank me later," Gilda said, motioning to the stricken person. "Let's deal with the freak." Gilda rolled the freak on his back, and pulled off his mask. Sunset looked with horror at who it was.
Twinkle. Sprint's co-captain. She now knew the who.
But she still needed to know the why.
Sunset still couldn't believe it. A week ago Gilda was knocking her books out of her hand. Now she was enjoying a movie night with her, in Gilda's own house.
"So you like horror movies," Sunset said.
"Yep," Gilda said with a twisted smile. "The suspense, the blood, the terror." Gilda shushed her as the horror scene came on. "He's gonna cut that bitche's intestines out," Gilda said with demented. Sunset looked at the scene, not with joy, but with terror as the machete-wielding maniac closed in the helpless damsel.
"Kill her, kill her," Gilda chanted. Sunset let out a horrified scream as the movie's heroine was gutted.
"Ahem", Gilda said with annoyance. Sunset realized in fear that she grabbed Gilda's hand for comfort.
"Sorry," Sunset said, pulling her hand from Gilda and turning away from her with an embarrassed blush.
"Don't touch me," Gilda growled. Sunset heard Gilda's voice, but didn't see the blush also forming on Gilda's face.
"Twinkle," Sunset pleaded, "I swear I'm in a-,"
"How many other people did you frame," Twinkle growled. "Did you paralyze other people too?"
"No, I never meant for that to happen." Sunset said with tears in her eyes.
"You got Muharib sent to prison," Twinkle said with quiet anger. "What did you think was going to happen?"
"Please," Sunset pleaded. "How can I make it up to you?"
"You want to make it up to me," Twinkle said. "Help Muharib walk."
"I can't," Sunset said regretfully.
"Then were done," Twinkle said with a quiet, disappointed tone, before turning away from Sunset. The quiet anger and rejection hurt Sunset worse than the paint balloons or Gilda's bullying. Seeing Twinkle despise her made Sunset fall to the ground with tears in her eyes.
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A LOT of these are completely awesome ideas in and of themselves!
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There were several reasons why these ideas didn't make the cut.
1. The Human Sunset as the culprit idea was suggested to me a while ago. I did consider it for a time, but it didn't really tie into the theme of the story: Sunset's actions have serious repercussions for others. I mean, Sunset's actions did have consequences, but in the case of Human Sunset, this was completely accidental. Whereas Sunset's crimes against Muharib were more direct, and would have an emotional impact.
I also didn't know how to resolve the issue with Human Sunset.
2. I was going to have Quick sexually assault Sunset, until Scampy sent me a message, saying she was afraid I would trivialize the issue. After that, I realized that Sunset going through that would be too traumatic for her. It would also make Quick completely unsympathetic, since he would be guilty of the thing that Muharib went through.
3. The resolution to the story, as I wrote it, felt too cliché and easy.
4. Gilda x Sunset was my original ship, but I took it out because I felt it was too easy and cliché to write. I felt it would be more of a challenge to create a male OC who was well-rounded than shipping Sunset with a semi-OC character. I also felt that Micro Chips/Gilda would be a more unique speech, and it would be out of character for Gilda to fall for someone who got her in trouble.
5. As stated, I felt Sunset didn't get enough punishment in the story. I felt Sunset losing Twinkle's love would be fitting punishment for the pain she caused others. But I realize I was going overboard on Sunset, and it would contradict my characterization of Twinkle as a tolerant, easy-going guy...as long as you don't act like an asshole.
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I meant more separate from the current story.... and out of them I think you're looking too hard on the Human Sunset one. It honestly would've made THE MOST sense and could still tie into her actions having consequences via her instead of accidentally taking over her life she INTENTIONALLY did it because she needed someplace to stay... and she legit never thought about it because she assumed Human Sunset would've found some way to bounce back somewhere else. IDK. It just felt like that would've been a better solution then the whole Quick thing. He felt more.... forced. Not natural.
10358399
In any case, I couldn't find a good resolution to it. And I don't think it had any real emotional resonance. I also don't think Human Sunset would've gone THAT far. She wasn't someone who lived in a world of supervillains. She might've tried to handle things legally.
10358401
Given how the human versions of The Mane 6 resonated pretty dang well with their pony counterparts? I actually disagree. If anything she might've gone FURTHER. And it would've had emotional resonance. It would've been Sunset literally seeing her OLD self and how she would've been had she stuck to hating Celestia. Instead of trying to move on.
10358408
I see your point....
Though Human Sunset's dislike of Pony Sunset would've been far more understandable.
And I think Sunset's largely gotten over a lot of her hate, so such a story line wouldn't be necessary. Especially, since she was already locked with a battle with her own literal demon in the story I wrote.
I don't know. In any case, if someone else wants to pursue that idea, they can by all means.
10358416
Just some thoughts I had!
10358420
And I appreciate your comments. I like that my work is good enough to provoke deep discussions and in-depth review.
I think I remember the original description of this story having details regarding the second scenario.
Also, the Human Sunset scenario? I would love to see in its own story. I did something similar a while back.
10358587
I realized it was way too dark, and the actions far too unforgivable.
I just read it. It was pretty good.
But again, I didn't think the human Sunset scenario fitted the story I was trying to tell.
Glad the one on twinkle wasn't added but liked the human Sunset scene
You thought to bring a chainsaw in the story? Why?
10358836
I felt I was ruining a good OC.
But the response to the short Sunset scene has given me some...ideas.
10358962
I pictured it initially with more suspense and horror. But I realized a story about Sunset's transition needed more drama instead.
Personally i don't have pity on Quick. And I'm angry he got similar punishment as Sunset. He also effectively made her homeless, almost killed her TWICE. Attacked other people, and he punches Luna in a fit of anger after getting caught
10359321
Sunset isn't homeless. She still has her own place, since Quick didn't have the heart to reveal that info.
And again, Quick never meant to kill, he meant to intimidate Sunset into leaving.
Not trying to justify his actions. But he's not getting a slap on the wrist. He also has to do community service and be suspended.
Good work and good story, just something to add...
The last thing about "Help Muharib walk" made me think that in theory in Equestria there could be magic that could do that... Of course, there is also Discord but Sunset don't know about it, yet if Celestia can move the Sun, maybe there is a spell to restore that. But that is not the type of story and it could border a mary sue.
As I said, good work
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10396977
As stated, I felt making Gilda a more or less OK person who has a huge chip on her shoulder would be a better way to explore Sunset's redemption would be far more interesting and meaningful than making Gilda a mindless goon. On the other hand, I also didn't want to make her an infallible Jerk Sue who comes out on top in every situation.
And making her a Red Herring to Rainbow's Fred Jones was more or less a swipe at the evil Gilda trope I see all over this site.
10428298
right forgot been busy with my first year of college
10440452
No. I haven't.
(Looks at the description)
Looks interesting. I'll give it a read.
10440554
Yeah, but that's a line that is often considered irredeemable. While it would've been a compelling dynamic, I didn't want Quick to become completely unsympathetic.
10472459
OH! Huh I DID notice those parts are actually shorter! Nice work!
10547387 This is true.
10547042
I mean, that argument was fair enough until you mentioned High School Musical. Unless I’m missing something, that musical took place in America. Not to mention on Earth.
10557212
i still call bull. If you don't want him to send to juvie, At very least give him house arrest. complete with ankle monitor and a supervised restraining order than he's not allowed to contact Applejack or Sunset.
As that other person pointed out, he doesn't deserve pity even for his motives. He committed multiple felonies vs to the frame up of Sunset who already finished her initial CS for the Fall formal thing
What with the end. She almost gets raped and because she was a jerk who made a huge mistake her boyfriend dumped her.
10764902
Huh? That has nothing to do with my comment,
Came back... after a five day break from this.
10846871
maybe but with all the cell phones kids have you don't think that some of them recorded that night?
"Guilty until proven innocent" Applebloom said.
Big Time Rush was wrong everybody.
I so love this story! I'm gonna go read the sequel now!
11346060 Yeah, this doesn't bode well.
10358421
I actually expected the first to happen.
It does make sense in a way
As much as I loved this story. There has been one thing that has been nagging me after giving it deeper thought.
I can't help but feel that Sunset unjustly got off too easy for her crimes. In other words. She was never punish to the full extent of her crimes and the reason was simply because of pure dumb luck.
Let me explain. We all know what happened to her the night of the fall formal. Before she was hit by the rainbow laser, she was still evil through and through. Only after being hit was, she able to see and realize the pain and suffering she had caused to others.
Because of that she was given a second chance to do good and redeem herself. Which is a good thing, but it still doesn't change the fact that if that didn't happen, she would have to face the full weight of her crimes.
And that what leads to my biggest issue. The crime and punishment problem.
After all of Sunset's crimes were revealed, specifically her crime against Muharib. It was like everyone was trying to make sure that Sunset doesn't face the full extent of her crimes. After everything she did, she most definitely should be both expelled and sent to prison. But instead, she just gets two very hard slap on the wrist.
I know one of the stories biggest messages is forgiveness but taking into account of the world this story take place. That message barely holds any real weight to it and it all thanks to what happened to Muharib and everything involving her.
You can't deny that Quick was right in his statement.
Sure, Garda countered this by saying that the world isn't fair, and as true as that is, you still have the power to do what's fair and Sunset getting community service isn't really a fair nor just punishment at all. She literally framed someone for a crime they didn't commit, thus getting them both expelled and sent to Juvenile detention.
False accusations like that is a serious crime and the penalty for that is a maximum of 7 years in prison, not 100 hours of community service.
Sunset did all of that. Garda haves her confession to the crime and yet for some crazy reason. She only gets community service.
As Twinkle said "How many other people did you frame,"
Now I don't know the exact time frame of this story. So, I just use the original three years plot point. Which means that during those three years Sunset could have framed other students like she did Muharib. Yet Garda nor Luna bothered to look into this more and be absolutely sure there weren't other wrongfully accused students thanks to Sunset.
Remember, Sunset didn't even remember Muharib, nor did she even have a vision of her crime against her. If Quick haven't done what he did. The truth would have never gotten out. Sure, what he did was mess up, but look at the world he lives in. That Aljana faith bullcrap was one of the reasons no body didn't bother to do anything and if its not that then you have people who flat out didn't give a damn about Quick nor Muharib.
Yet Everyone cares about Sunset despite everything she'd done. Which leads to the next issue. Sunset has hurt so many people, yet it doesn't seem like anyone actually cares just how bad her crimes are or just how many of them she committed.
Yeah, purposely framing someone the way she did isn't just some stupid mistake. Would you call the things Sea Breeze did stupid mistakes? Of course not. Despite the difference of their crimes, Sunset and Sea Breeze do have a lot in common. They both will purposely hurt whoever they need to get what they want and maintain control and not once give even a single thought to just how bad they might have hurt that person.
No one seems to really get just how bad Sunset mess up and I feel like a lesson of just how bad was never fully establish. To truly face the consequences that her actions had brought upon others and the only way that could happen was if she face the true final boss,
Muharib
Sure, Quick was a challenge but he was just the sub boss. The real fight is with Muharib herself, because she is the one who actually suffered thanks to Sunset and I'm not just talking about the false accusations, the expulsion, the arrest, the rape, the suicide attempt, and the loss of her legs mobility, but everything else.
We know how quick felt about all that, but what about Muharib? How do you think she felt knowing that nobody cares that she got rape and blamed her for it, especially her parents. There is no way that girl isn't filled with absolute hatred after everything she'd been through and to make it worse, she doesn't even know why this all happened to her in the first place. Remember she didn't know who framed her three years ago and why.
I have to admit, Luna should have gone to speak to Muharib face to face. It would have been more meaningful.
Any who. I believe if things went a bit differently, we would definitely get she just how bitter and angry Muharib has become over the years after getting over her shock about the rape.... Somewhat. And this is before she learns the truth about Sunset.
After Sunset was arrested, Luna wants to immediately go and apologize to Muharib, but she needs Quick to tell her where she lives. So, she goes with Garda to the police station and watch his conversation with Quick. They would then both go to talk to Muharib about everything and just like Quick she's absolutely furious that Sunset isn't going to prison for what's she'd done.
Seeing this as another mess where nobody gives two shits about her. Muharib uses her right to press full charges against Sunset and as an honest officer of the law Garda would have no choice but to comply if he wants to prove he's nothing like the other officers who ignored Quick.
Because of Muharib pressing charges, Sunset getting community service is no longer an option. Now she's going to be sent to prison for 7 years and the only way for that to not happened is if Muharib drops the charges.
This would be Muharib's revenge against Sunset and it's done in a way that follows the justice system. Unlike Quick, she's not getting innocent people involved. So, its revenge in its cleanest form. Not even Garder's"Don't try and take revenge speech" won't work here because Muharib is doing things the right way.
The only question that remains is will Sunset be thrown in prison or will Muharib find it in her heart to let her go?
I would love to write an alternate version of this story, about this.
Good and powerful story. Pretty sad seeing how this skeleton in the closet is why everyone in CHS (except the Rainbooms) are still uneasy and untrustful around Sunset in Rainbow Rocks. Especially since unlike Wallflower, Quick certainly isn't gonna forgive Sunset ever and will be harder for him to bounce back than Wallflower.
I wonder this though: what does Quick think of Sunset after the events of Rainbow Rocks when she helped save everyone from the Dazzlings? Is he cool with her or still uneasy?
I guess your disappointment with how Forgotten Friendship did the idea of one of Sunset's former victims still holding a grudge against her is why the FOP crossover has human Moondancer still have a grudge against Sunset for a hurtful prank pulled.
So, how much of Sunset's hair has regrown at this point?
Good news, Sunset's Steps has a Tropes page now if you wanna help edit it.
https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/SunsetsSteps
10333938
Technically they didn't say 6 months, they said 6 moons so that probably gives some wiggle room on the time between the first two films especially if time does pass differently in Equestria vs human world.
11798902
So, it's a case where it's the one mistake that Sunset will never be able to undo or fix no matter how much she changes? Granted Sunset didn't directly cause Muharib to be irreversibly paralyzed and certainly had no idea about the sexual harassment guard, but still. Definitely hits hard as the first time that one of a redeemed villain's actions on MLP genuinely can't be undone.
11799073
We all have things like that. It is a part of life.
11799140
True and a tragic part indeed.
Did Rainbow Dash ever try to contact Blossomworth after she moved away? Considering we live in the age of social media, it wouldn't be too hard for Rainbow to track her social media posts. Or did Blossomworth delete all her social media and change her phone number to ensure Rainbow would never track her down?
Also, where exactly were Twinkle and Quick when the events of Rainbow Rocks were happening? Were they under the Dazzlings' spell early on too, with Twinkle likely acting rude to Sunset the same way the spell made Flash act rude to Pony Twilight?
I'm confused, how much of Sunset's hair has grown back by the end of this story? Given a good chunk was cut off earlier in the story due to a prank by one of the students wanting revenge on her, how much has it grown back at the end of this story?
11824045
Not this story.
11824190
Is this your way of saying you do have some soft spot for Sunset/Rainbow Dash (even if you prefer Sunset/Sci-Twi more), but this story isn't the one that has them as a romantic thing due to Sunset being with your OC in Twinkle Toes?
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Just wanted to test my own writing abilities and create a genuinely authentic OC with a believable romance.
Do you think the pairing I created is good?
11836928
Yeah, Twinkle's cool. But any idea on where he was during Rainbow Rocks? As well as the other movies after Friendship Games?
11837139
Spoilers.
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Wait, does this mean you still have plans to continue the Sunset's Steps series even after the long hiatus from that? Any idea when or is the FOP crossover currently priority number one right now over this?