Time Travel is Confusing
High up in the clouds, two dull-colored colts and one blue filly with a rainbow-colored mane prepared to race for the honor of a small pony called Fluttershy. The tension was so high, nopony watching the competition was paying attention to a devious green portal which opened above a paved runway some distance away.
Out of the portal came Starlight Glimmer, a smirk on her face as she ignited her horn and aimed once more for the race going on in the distance.
"Please, Starlight!" Twilight pleaded. "All this will do is destroy the future once more! We'll just keep doing this for eternity!"
"Twilight, don't you recognize reality? The time travel spell worked!" she crowed. "All I need now is to prevent that Sonic Rainboom time after time again, and your future won't be a future at all! And there is nopony that can stop me!"
The air above the runway erupted as something barrelled out of thin air at 88 miles an hour, trailing twin tails of flame. The car, Starlight noticed, screeched to a halt, and out of a butterfly-style car door popped a human with frazzled white hair, a Hawaiian shirt under a radiation suit, and yellow gloves.
"Stop right there, Starlight Glimmer!" Doc Brown exclaimed, crouching into a feral stance next to the Delorean. "I came back to this specific point in time to warn you about the unintended consequences of your disruption of the Space-Time Continuum!"
Starlight Glimmer gave him an incredulous stare. "I'm sorry, who are you?"
"Listen!" Doc began, running to the edge of the runway, but stopping just before he went over with a screech. "You'll destroy the world this way! You'll literally turn the future into Fallout: Equestria!"
"That's the idea," Starlight said, slow and simple, as if to a child. She still had no idea where he popped up from, or who he was, but he was clearly a threat to her plan. "Get out of the way, doctor."
"Not so fast!" Doc refused, pulling out his weapons. "I've got a bottle of chloroform and a sock full of nickels!"
"What time period are you from?" Starlight demanded.
"Nineteen eighty-five," Doc Brown responded. "You?"
"One thousand oh-five ALB."
"...Which is…?"
Twilight spoke up; she knew human terms. "Twenty fifteen."
"Great Scott!" Doc gasped. "How is the future thirty years from now?"
Another bright flash of light materialized behind both of them before Starlight could respond. Out of a folding door in a red phone booth came two teenage boys, who both looked quite dull-eyed.
"Greetings, dudes!" said one, throwing his arms out wide. "I am Bill S. Preston, Esquire."
"And I am Ted "Theodore" Logan," introduced the other.
"And we're here to stop this bodacious babe from causing the end of the world," finished Bill.
Both of them played a quick riff on an air guitar.
Doc Brown took off his glasses in shock. "This is ludicrous! How did you get here by time travel without a Flux Capacitor?"
"We visited this totally uncool future where the world is in a mess and Joe Biden is president," Ted explained, completely ignoring Doc Brown. "We found out that it's this chick Starlight Glimmer's fault."
"With her stopped, Arnold Schwarzenegger will become president instead!" Bill said with a stupid grin.
"Okay, first of all, did you just call me bodacious?" Starlight Glimmer interrupted them. "And second, why are you stopping me here just as I'm about to do this?"
"We first tried getting your parents to never meet," Bill admitted, "but we're the reason they met in the first place."
They performed another riff on their air guitars.
"This is madness!" Twilight exclaimed. "History is being rewritten by two madmen in a phone booth!"
A series of whirrs roared into existence as a flashing blue police box with a glowing light materialized on the strip as well. When it had completely appeared after several moments, a man stepped out. His hair was sticky-uppy, and his brown slacks and overcoat were long, swallowing up his shoes.
Doc rolled his eyes. "Make that three."
" 'Ello there!" he greeted the assembly. His voice was peppy; he had a bounce in his step.
"Trying to stop me?" Starlight dared. "Get in line, pal."
The man only gave her a brief acknowledgment by tilting his head before pulling out a pair of thick glasses. "Well...maybe later. I actually came here to drop these off."
The Doctor passed several sheets of paper to Bill and Ted.
"Cool!" Ted said, flipping through the stapled sheets. "What are these?"
"Copyright infringement," the Doctor cheerfully replied. "I'm suing you."
Bill and Ted gave each other bummed-out glances before moaning, "Bogus!" in unison.
"I'm sorry," the Tenth Doctor said, a sympathetic expression on his face. "I am so, so sorry." He grinned. "But not really. Alons-e!" He spun around and strutted back to the Tardis. "I need to go find a bow tie from that pony counterpart of mine. I have the strangest feeling I might need it later."
After stepping into the Tardis, it flashed three times before disappearing.
"You know, why does no one ever go back in time to stop, say, the disappearance of the Crystal Empire?" Twilight wondered after the Tardis had disappeared. "That wasn't exactly a picnic."
"That's a fixed point in time!" Doc pointed out. "And Starlight Glimmer, you're trying to alter the preexisting timeline across multiple dimensions for your own personal sake! I shouldn't have to say this, but we don't like it! Time travellers from every dimension should be popping up all over the place, trying to stop your actions! Mine! These two dweebs! And-"
A thirteen-year old girl in long robes appeared with a pop in the midst of them, holding a small hourglass around her neck. Hermione, shocked, looked to either side of her before swearing and muttering, "Too many turns."
"You got here by a spell too?" Starlight asked in surprise, igniting her horn to threaten her. "What's the spell?"
Hermione let out a brief exclamation of shock before whipping out her wand and jabbing it at Starlight Glimmer. "Stupefy!"
Starlight Glimmer, petrified almost instantly by the red jet of light, flew back a few feet before collapsing on the pegasus runway.
"Oh my gosh," Hermione whispered in fright. "I attacked a unicorn! Oh, Hagrid's going to kill me-!"
A ray of golden light materialized amidst the assembled time travelers. The ray of light solidified into the static shape of a Vulcan before fading away entirely, and the Vulcan, suddenly free to move, scanned his surroundings.
Upon seeing nothing but the collection of frightened people, he sighed, flipped open his communicator and said, "Somebody already got her, so…"
And the ray of golden light re-appeared around him before going away, leaving them all confused.
Doc managed to gain attention with a cough. "Well, with that all done, we should all be going back to our own dimensions now."
"Pardon me, but could I hitch a ride?" Hermione inquired of Bill and Ted. "My time turner only works in reverse."
"For a bodacious babe like you?" grinned Ted. "That'd be excellent!"
Hermione, Bill, and Ted all did a guitar riff before heading off to their phone booth.
Before Doc Brown could open the door and get back in his car, yet another roar got his attention, forcing him to whip around.
Springing up to full size came Iron Man, Captain America, Ant-Man, and the Hulk. The four travelers, dressed in white and red armor, took another look around before Professor Hulk tapped his fingers and said, "You guys, this-this isn't New York."
"Yeah, you don't say," Iron Man retorted. "And hey, guess what, we don't have enough Pym Particles to get there and back to 2024! Great job, team, we messed up this one chance to save the universe."
"Oh, my gosh," Ant-Man whispered on Steve Roger's shoulder. "It's Doc Brown and Twilight Sparkle! Hey, Doc! Your time travel rules are bullsh-"
"Who are you?!" Doc demanded, shaking like a frostbite victim.
"Long story short, we're trying to make a rock collection," Iron Man wrapped up concisely. "Have you heard of six multicolored stones with magical powers?"
"I have!" Twilight volunteered.
Steve blinked, taken aback. "You...you have?"
"Maybe the difference in space-time caused the Infinity stones to end up...here. I don't even know where here is," Professor Hulk said.
"Could you take us to them?" asked Steve.
"Of course! The Elements of Harmony have been under my direction for years now!"
All four of them sighed in defeat. "That's not what we...oh, forget it," Iron Man mourned.
"I can give you a ride, if you want," Doc offered.
Everyone looked at the tall Professor Hulk.
"I can squeeze, you guys," he said. "Come on, let's take him up on it."
"You get shotgun."
"O-okay."
"Where are you going?" Twilight called to the four Avengers.
"To New York, 2012," Steve said. He turned resolute. "We have to do something that just might save the entire timeline of our universe."
"So did I!" Twilight grinned. "Well, technically, Hermione did it, but-"
"Could we get going?" Spike complained on Twilight's back. "I wanna go home."
"Find, fine," Twilight granted. Using the spell Star Swirl the Bearded had written, she opened a green portal in the air, grabbed the petrified Starlight Glimmer, and zoomed through. The hole closed behind her, leaving thin air behind.
As the Avengers piled into the Delorean, Doc asked, "You said you were from 2024?"
"Yes," said Ant-Man.
"Well then, where's your hoverboards? Where are your self-tying shoes?"
"Yeah," Iron Man said, looking out the window pointedly. "Where are they? Get with the program, earth! I should have invented those before, but I was busy creating Ultron in 2015. You know what, just take us to 2012 New York. I'll explain on the way."
The car, on a convenient runway, reversed, turned around, and sped up as the end grew closer. Finally, as the car reached 88 miles an hour, it shot off with twin tails of flame hovering in the air, leaving nothing behind.
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Wait a minute.
You make a story about time travelers going back to fix time and don’t include Mr. Peabody and Sherman?
That is literally what they do.
That said this was a awesome and funny story.
9653928
Oh, right. Forgot about those two.
Thanks for enjoying!
That line alone is worth the read.
9654076
I have no idea. A FNaF character was holding a knife to my back the entire time I was writing this.
Best story ever. This was a brilliant read.
If Hermione would've missed, here's another alt:
Suddenly, Starlight froze, falling to the ground. She slowly stood up on her hind legs, then fell forward to all fours. She looked at her hooves and said, "Oh, boy."
Looking around, she focused on an empty space and said, seemingly to nopony, "Al? Ziggy? What am I here to do?"
Seen only to her, a human in garish clothes, holding something looking like a graphing calculator made of Legos, said, "Hey, Sam. Ziggy says your name is Starlight Glimmer, and you're trying to change history by preventing something called a 'sonic rainboom.' Oh, and you're a pony."
Starlight/Sam looked at his hooves again and groaned, "Oh, boy."
I adored the reference to Bill and Ted. It just fit. Doc Brown was as amazing as ever. The fact that the doctor used bill and Ted was hilarious. The end comment with Rick and Morty was amazing. And I don't know Harry Potter
Time travelers, eh? Chibi-usa, Trunks, Silver, and Lucina would also love to have a word with Starlight.
Doc Brown, your Delorean. Dr. Who, your Tardis. H.G. Well's bicycle thing, whatever Skynet's making, and this hot tub.
this story is rather silly
9654579
I'm sooooo happy you think so, Four! I knew you'd like it!
I think it's supposed to be spelled 'Allons-y!'
Yes!!!
This was very random, but I approve. Very comedic interactions, lots of references. 'Fantastic.'
You took this from Studio C didn't you?
Time travel gives me a headache. This is why I can’t watch awesome shows like “Doctor Who” and “Legends of Tomorrow.”
What's ALB?
Rick and Morty don't do time travel. They do alternate universes.
I think they said something about time travel being too boring for rick so it'd never be in R&M even though there's been a box labeled 'Time Travel Stuff' in his garage since the pilot. I imagine that's the only way he'd have been able to make abridolf lincler
9655903
After Luna's Banishment.
9655920
They technically get away with going to a Universe that's 20 minutes ahead of theirs since there are infinite universes.
9655943
that one's frustratingly also 20 feet to the left
9655903
After Luna's Banishment? Maybe?
9656779
What he said.
9654082
Ooh, a plot twist!
I love to see what the Knight and Maid of time would have thought of the situation
9655693
It IS suspiciously similar to their "Killing Hitler" sketch.
Oh dear god, I just read the description and it sounds like a cluster fuck. (In a very good way!)
Lets stop Starlight!
Bruhhhh that was Tooootally narly.
Fun ride good laughs haha.
Didnt read the comments yet but ALB looks like it atands for. After Lunas' Banishment right?
Edit: Called it :P
Really?
9830608
Eeyup.
9654273
I love this. I wonder how the author forgot them?
Brady...? 9830691
9856486
Yes, my Liege? *trips and stumbles, but recovers*
9856498
How could you have possibly missed Sam’s Quantum Leap?
So I guess these all take place in the same universe now? Or is everyone just casually going between dimensions too?
Is there an actual Time Police that goes around busting time criminals, or is it just these few guys policing the entire timestream? Either way, the stability of reality is questionable here.
Time travel can be a mess, as everyone in this story has learned. Basically, it takes a god or a super genius to learn how it works without causing trouble and chaos in the space-time continuum.
Uh...
What just happened?
10122836
Uh, time travel mumbo-jumbo or something. It's best to not think about it too much.
This reminds me of a Studio C sketch.
Loved every bit of it.
This was just amazing! Its beautiful, there's nothing more to say.
Well that was a wonderful slice of crazy
What happens to Starlight though? A prison sentence?