That was hit and kinky and hell.

Nom Nom

You forgot tomention cumflation/cum bloating in your warnings.

...

...

...

Thank you. I love being surprised with it as much as I love the fetish itself.

It seems Celestia was suffering from a... speech impediment...

I'll see myself out

Good shit. My kind of lewd.

I'm not giving a red thumb, I'm just bitching and moaning about the extreme commonplace of Celestia-as-a-sex-toy and dominant Luna in princest. It's very rare that it's the other way around in this little fandom of ours! Still, good writing.

Ugh, I'm not reading this because nationwide speeches are SUCH a turnoff. Gross.
This is a joke. Good job.

9492457
It's commonplace because Celestia as a sub is hot as fuck.
That being said, yeah, it can get kind of boring when it's repeated ad nauseam, especially if the story itself isn't particularly good and just depends on the appeal of that (not saying it's the case here, haven't read this one yet). Luckily, some stories do have it the other way around. Some even have both.

cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/546067712120717314/552734638020231188/image0-9.jpg

9492717
Well, actually, mostly for reasons concerning consistency with the way the show looks and therefore with how fanart of the show looks, a lot of anthro mlp content tends to have coloured skin rather than actual fur (or hair, technically, since they're horses). This isn't just expressed by having no mention of fur or by an art style that portrays it as a uniform coat of colour, sometimes a writer will specifically mention that the colour is that of the character's skin and oftentimes there are examples of extra human-like body hair on the characters, most notably when it comes to pubic hair.

Another meatbag clop story gets featured.

While the story itself is well written, only a few grammar and spelling errors here and there, I have to say this was so boring. Celestia and Luna had no build up, other than a very clunky chunk of exposition dumped in the middle.

The sex itself was nothing spectacular, a slight twist on gloryhole oral that's been peddled out a million times before.

What killed it for me though was that Celestia and Luna had no personality in this. They were literally bags of meat that could be exchanged for any other characters and the story would be the same.

I'm not gonna be an asshole and redthumb without reading, but since you asked the reason I'm not reading it is because it's anthro.

Like the kinks but wish the positions were switched and Celestia was the dom maybe that could be a sequel, we need more Celestia doming not enough of it

9492830
To be fair, if any smut is going to get featured it's going to be the mindless stuff. Anything with actually good story telling or characters is going to get downvoted by the people who just wanted smut, so it won't get featured.

9492319
Nice! I like hell, They say it's a 'dry heat'. Perfect for me.

9492431
I have such a fucking potato brain that it legit took me a few hours to realize this was a joke 😂😂

9492457
I've had some thoughts about flipping the dynamic in the past. I usually can't come up with a decent premise (Peanut-Brain Syndrome) and there is almost literally no art depicting that dynamic in a cool way that would get me to spew words. In reality, most of everything has been 'overdone' at this point. I guess most people just have come to accept this dynamic as their 'lewd-headcanon'. You're not wrong though, there is a clear lack of Domlestia and Subluna. If an image or idea comes along that 'piques my interest' with that dynamic, I'd probably cobble a terrible fic together about it.

9492477
There was a brief moment when writing this that I thought about putting together a long boring as fuck speech in the middle and see if people just 'tapped out' But then I said to myself "You can barely put words together to form a coherent sentence, You're not a speechwriter, you moron." 😂

9492830
Pretty sure you're linked into my brain. That's a spot on review I would give to anything I write, to be honest. Although I would at least call them 'lifeless emotionless sex-dolls', not 'bags of meat' 🤣 Sex-dolls are marginally hotter to imagine fucking than bags of meat. xD

9492928
Completely reasonable. Thanks for taking the time to let me know. ^_^

9493332
Sadly, you are correct. That's just the way this site works.

9493336

'lifeless emotionless sex-dolls'

The fact that you yourself use this phrase to describe the characters you write having sex says it all. It just goes to prove that the ability to be featured is all about popularity and has no bearing on the ability of the author to write a quality product.

9493363
I'm not popular, nor do I have any ability/talent as a writer. So I don't know dude. Maybe the feature box is broken?

Yay! Smut! Such wonderful smut! So full of wonderful kinks!

Also, where is the cover from? I know you likely can't link it, but can you point us towards it?

9493559
Derpibooru number to the image is provided in the Description. ^_^

9492457
I understand the sentiment. My only thought is that, for me at least, it feels a little off for Celestia to be overly dominant. Ignoring that it doesn't mesh with my personal interpretation of Celestia's characterization, she is ostensibly the more powerful of the two, magically and publicly, thus allowing Luna to be dominant in private helps to equalize the relationship.

That is all said without knowledge of the angle taken in this story, as I have not read it yet.
I will fix that error soon, Kulpa.

-Your Beneficent Dictator,
The Landgrave

You took one of my favorite pictures from Derpi and made it into a satisfying quickie. Good show. Few enough minor errors as to not distract from the... purpose... and none so major as to ruin the moment. You have earned my seal of approval, for whatever that is worth.

As to other peoples' thoughts, and some of your own apparently... The wonder of Fanfic is that you don't have to spend so much time building characters up. Your readers are already going to bring most of their own pre-conceived notions as to who the characters are, and fighting that is usually a waste of time. Instead, you have only to give them a general shape of things and go from there. Too much more and you start to intrude on personal canons.

This is exactly what it says on the tin.

Your Benevolent Dictator,
The Landgrave

Where can i see the picture?

9493377

Featured Box is fine. People like that one bitch and moan about the Featured Box all the time and have been for as long as I've been here. Which has been a long time. Either because they're writers whose stories didn't get into the box and feel like they should be able to (the ones most common to "subtly" insult the author of the story they're complaining about) especially when they see clop hit the box but their precious gem didn't. Or people who didn't get to see something hit the Box that they wanted to. They fall into these two categories and their explanations that make them seem more noble or relatable are, in fact, smokescreens for the fact they fall into those two categories and aren't special snowflakes come to deliver justice upon you for the fact people liked your thing and not theirs.

Ignore anything that isn't neutrally-applied and valid criticism. Complaining about the Box is not criticism that is valid on your story, and throws the validity of the rest of what they have to say into question as it is undoubtedly their reason for complaining in the first place, not out of a desire to see you improve your work.

9493738
Same here

9493336
9493642

I haven't seen Landgrave around in awhile. I understand that viewpoint, but to me Luna's canon depiction lends towards a more authoritarian and dominant attitude, thus making their private time no real turnaround of their visible personalities, just their status in the eyes of the common person. The real turnaround, with that understanding, is the motherly and kind Celestia being a skillful dominatrix with the 'rougher' and more aggressive Luna being an ideal sub. Granted, that's just my viewpoint - complete and utter fact, ignore the Solar Empire icon next to my name, clearly no bias here!

As for the art, ever since the start of season one there've been throngs of people who were quite against any positive depictions of Celestia all while thrusting Luna up to the fore, and our fandom art culture took shape around them since they were the more numerous and louder group. If you want more people to see and consume what you make, you have to go where the most people are, essentially. So I completely understand that little conundrum. I've zero effective problems with your story, just a random bit of complaint on the state of things since I saw that A/N. Whim, honestly.

haven't read it (might try later, but doubtful)
I did have to leave this here though

9493738
9493776

Copy The number in Parenthesis that is in the Story description, Type in derpibooru.org/[Paste Number] in your address bar. Should take you right to the image

The futa, dominatrix, and to a lesser extent the incest tags make this a no-go for me. Futa is especially gross to me.

9494006
To each their own! ^_^ Thanks for taking the time to stop by real quick and let me know.

9492830
You know, i can relate it this way. One of my favorite game developers, John Carmack, who helped to create DOOM, once said "Story in a video game is like story in a porno; expected to be there, but not necessary". And i especially feel this way about smutfiction. Yeah, story is great, but, if i'm reading a smutfic, the story isn't as important to me as it would be in other genre of stories. Such as, Slice of life. SOL, i want as much story and detail as possible. But not for smutfics.

9493775
sonofhel.files.wordpress.com/2015/11/give-that-man-a-cookie.jpg

9493336
Didn't you kind of just admit to purposefully writing your characters as one-dimensional?
I mean, I'm not gonna dislike, since I didn't read it, but that's a huge red flag for something I wouldn't really ever have a desire to read regardless, let alone something with bondage (the original reason I chose not to read).

9495181
I thought it was quite clear I was lightheartedly 'taking the piss'? at that comment.

Do I think my writing is bad?
Yep, most if not all of the time.

Do I think the characters I write are lifeless?

Nope, That'd be necrophilia. That ain't listed in the kinks. 😂

Am I 'purposefully writing one-dimensional characters'?

Not on purpose, but if they end up that way to people then that just drives home the point that 'I suck' and shows a clear ceiling to my skill/ability as a writer.

GENERAL STATEMENT

To be honest, if anyone is looking for life-changing/mind-opening literary material in "Porn" then they either A. Are looking in the wrong place (Read good romance/erotic romance stories, there's plenty out there.) or B. You need to see a therapist. 🤣

9495218
I don't think anyone was looking for anything eye-opening - just something with personality. No need to assume someone that doesn't like your kind of work "needs to see a therapist."

9495595
Where did I assume that? It's clearly labeled as a 'General Statement' to ANYONE looking for something in a genre. The 'therapist' comment is meant to be for a laugh and once again isn't intended to 'attack' anyone. (I don't know why I use emojis). If anyone doesn't like my work, I'm perfectly comfortable with hearing it (I damn near beg for it in every A/N).

Honestly, not bad. Not good either. This story is like a saggy cold bowl of cornflakes for breakfast – I'll take it, but I won't be happy about it.

My main problem with the fanfic is that barely anything happens in it. The plot is advertised as being that of public use – "discreet sex during a nationwide speech". However, the vast majority of the text is taken up by preparation, and while some may find that pretty hot, that's not really what we are here for. The sexual act itself, the meat of the story, barely takes up a page, and that's being generous.

The makings of a really good clopfic are there, but are sadly not realized in any meaningful way. Personally, I would take the whole preparatory scene and add some foreplay and teasing. Then, turn the actual gloryhole scene into a chapter of its own, greatly expanding on it. Almost getting caught would be a nice touch, for example.

Others have complained about characters being one-dimensional and lifeless. While true, it's not as big of a problem as they are making it out to be, in my opinion.

9496109
Now that’s what I’m talking about! Some good rational wholesome criticism. Time to go seclude myself away and cry. Seriously though, I appreciate you taking the time to expound on everything. ^_^

I would rather starve than eat cornflakes though. 😂😂

I saw you use the word throat 4 times in the same sentance and I think I almost broke a cringe muscle.

Can everyone leave the poor author alone? Seriously. Don't like? Don't read. Don't like and read anyway? Downvote and move on. There's no need to give the author so much crap. There's constructive criticism, and then there's just getting off track.

Only real complaint is a lack of actual porn.
This fic is a good warm up to a session, but unless one has a hair trigger or reads slowly, the porn is over before you are.

But, saying that, it is well done. I found myself enjoying it even though I myself do not have half the fetishes in this.

All in all, it is good, but needs more porn.

Was pretty dope but personal I would have like it a little longer, a bit more interaction with the two before the lead start and maybe a bit more of the speech itself. But that’s me, was still good

<Meanwhile in the crowd>

Reporter 1: So, your boss tell you guys not to talk about the whole face fuckery thing too?

Reporter 2: Yup. You know... If they're happy, we're happy. Let them have their moment.

Reporter 1: Uggh... reporter that one in griffonstone, her highness got too...

Reporter 2: Oh Maker... she chundered everywhere. Luna had to sit in it... Poor Celestia huh? I remember my brother heard from his guard buddy she cried all night...

I'm not going to like or dislike this, it's in the feature box. Okay whatever, it just seems like sex for the purpose of sex.

9496162
here's why i hate this
Incest | Bondage | Mistress/Slave/Pet Dynamic
and the anthro shit

9497259
So basically, anything taboo or out of the normal? Your loss, our gain.

9497777
buddy, if you knew me, you'd not be saying that
it's mainly the fetishes listed that i detest
and pony-head anthro is just lazy

9497810
How is anthro lazy?

I really hope you’ll write more. This was just so hot.

9497171
There are really only two purposes for sex. For the sake of sex, or for procreation.