• Member Since 26th Jan, 2017
  • offline last seen 3 hours ago

Some Leech


I...I am a monument to all your sins...

E

Every so often, once a century or so, Celestia gets a certain itch. With great care, she shrewdly plots a way to slake her wanton thirst for horse shenanigans and tomfoolery. As fate would have it, on this fine occasion, she's chosen to commit larceny, while disguised as the one, the only, Applejack...

Something fun for everybody. I hope y'all enjoy it!

Artwork by Big Rigs

Chapters (1)
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 77 )

… . . . .. .? Ok.

muwun #2 · 1 week ago · · ·

This is the best thing I’ve ever read.

Me will read this later, but for now, horse words must be written so I have hope that I might be able to start an actual series or something.

Later that day, the real Applejack showed up and robbed the bank.

9447629
Nah, she was committing arson at the peach farm!

AstralMouse #6 · 1 week ago · · 1 ·

9447635
Oooh, the perfect alibi.

:rainbowderp: We need more Celestia stealing

9447635
Well, that can't be right! I have it on good authority that, at the time in question, Applejack was salting Golden Harvest's carrot farm!

9447660
Now this is just absurd. There's no way Applejack could be robbing a bank, razing a farm, and salting the earth of that darn dirty carrot monger!

9447665
You're right, there is no way she could be doing all three of those things, as I was judging a 12-hour Iron Mareathon between her and Rainbow Dash during this timeframe! Something's not right here...

9447635
wait wait, so your alibi is that you were busy committing FELONY arson! XD

9447687
Look, all I know is that we're getting reports of Applejack committing all manner of heinous deeds across Equestria!!! :trollestia:

kztxl7 #14 · 1 week ago · · 1 ·

Character tag is wrong. Just sayin'.

you get an A+/10. The story was great! :pinkiehappy:

9447699
I know, it's the damnedest thing! Must be a glitch on the site or something!!! :applejackunsure:

Who Else But Celestia!!

~Does a shrug, freeze frame and cut to credits~

9447696
Are we sure she didn't sneak into the Canterlot Archives to steal Starswirl's time travel spell as well?

9447710
This theory may warrant some investigation. I'm sure Celestia, the glorious astral horse goddess, will look into it!

so....what happens when the real applejack goes to Appleloosa?

9447760
I'm sure nopony would ask her about it, since Celestia kindly asked them not to!

Rosegfx #23 · 1 week ago · · ·

>Some Leech
>Story rated E

Hm. Something seems wrong here, and it's not just Applejack's behaviour

have to wonder how many minds would have been broken if celestia had put 'you' instead of applejack.

9447784
I don't know. Pretty sure at least one of them would ask how she got out of Tartarus or something.

9447629 9447635 9447660 9447673 9447710
So AJ was super busy that day! But is that really so strange? We all know she likes to keep productive, after all.

9447822
You tell me! I wonder if that's why I saw Applejack leaving their home earlier yesterday? :rainbowhuh:

So by this fics logic could someone walk into the castle with a fake crown and claim to be Princess Celestia?

9448174
Whoa man, don't spoil the sequel!

9448201
Spoiler alert: Princess Celestia was actually Applejack in disguise since season 1

leech is a dork :3

(Sigh) Celestia Applejack wouldn’t have gotten away with it if they weren’t all as dumb as a sack of rocks.

This was the silliest thing I’ve ever read, and I’ve read The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.

The new Payday 2 update looks great.

This was amazing

Something isn't right here...

Capital punishment had been outlawed since time immemorial, and he had no idea what Applejack was holding to Brown Betty’s head. “Applejack, you stop this tomfoolery. So help me, if you don’t, you’re goin in the time out corner,” he declared.

But didn't he just said Capital punishment had been outlawed? And one moment later he threatens to enforce it...

9448966
Capital punishment is a literal death sentence. Thankfully, the "time out corner" is a much more lenient punishment for ne'er-do-wells! :trollestia:

9447721
Well, it just so happens that :ajsmug: knows just where :pinkiecrazy:'s mirror pool is in the Everfree.... :trollestia:

PONDERS how Luna deals with simular feelings. We know its highly likely she has them

9448174
Would make things so much easier for Chrysalis.

...
Hm...

Next Apple Family reunion is going to awkward.

Nilam #44 · 1 week ago · · ·

9448174
Of course not. They'd figure it out instantly. On the other hand, if you add a name tag.....

9450184
Or just a fake cutie mark over your real one.

Just so you know, I still fapped to this...

Leech, did tekky give ya booze before ya wrote this?

9450379
Nah
I saw that picture and had to write something for it. Like, I was stricken by the muse SUPER HARD

This was great. It looks like that old saying even applies in Equestria.

You’ve got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the new West. You know… morons.

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!