Bell and Book
The explosion which obliterated the quaint Vanhoover manse sent shock-waves through the nations. Only Celestia survived, plucked concussed and battered from the rubble. Other realms entered a scramble of recriminations and fear. Dog ambassadors howled endlessly of changeling treachery, privately terrified their own anarchists had done the deed. The Minotaur Kingdom entered a shock of mourning for their ancient ruler, while Yakyakistan glumly coronated the one already called “Mad” King Rutherford. Griffons sent trembling missives asking their financial lifelines not perish with their beloved ruler, and changeling nobles enacted long-made contingencies of alliance and betrayal as they fought for the empty throne.
All had cause to be grateful for the steady hoof still guiding Equestria. Celestia moderated, negotiated, and aided as needed, replacing blind threats to retaliate with calm investigation. Tempers and worries cooled with her labor, bringing the lands back from the edge of war. Theories of dog anarchists and wandering dragons were discussed and shrugged upon, for no criminal or nation took credit, and no valid proof was ever found.
That Celestia called a new meeting of the rulers was expected, given all that transpired. The location was another rural mansion, this time in the Unicorn Range. Far warmer and closer to Canterlot, with Wonderbolts circling above and guards in the upper floors and gatehouse. Packages and guests were screened thoroughly as each new sovereign arrived, and each met gratefully with their host. None mentioned the white wing still splinted at her side, or the faint bruises on her head.
Celestia greeted the newcomers as politely as ever, though with a cold defensiveness that shocked their memories of her. She seemed harried and worried, smiling through a strainer as they took their seats.
“Now to business,” she said, assuming a perch on her own chair. And she removed Chrysalis’ treaty from its case and passed it around the table.
Celestia had no idea there even was a conspiracy before that fateful gathering. She had no idea how deep Chrysalis’ hooks had plunged, or how many here today were involved. Some? All?
They read the treaty down to its signatures and looked to her – her pensive face, her worried posture. They saw an outmatched monarch fearing for her kingdom, wondering if the alliance survived its authors. Unaware of just how badly they needed her to steady their tipping thrones.
The new griffon king Auroch put on a very great show of puffing his brown-feathered chest and squawking with indignant fury. A thick, taloned fist slammed the table hard enough to slop mead from his cup. “Treason! That is all that can be said for Adolphus.”
Acting-President Yella of Diamondia polished her glasses frantically, her nervous, yipping voice quick to follow the prevailing view. “Yes, quite so. For us, that is. All dogs only wish the best for Equestria, and we are creatures of loyalty. Had this cruel war gone forth you would have had nothing to fear, for Diamondia would have risen up against our corrupt leader and marched to your rescue.”
The yak at the table gave a thin smile and rolled her eyes. Khani – a female, slight by her race’s standards. Doubtless sent by Yakyakistan to conceal their new king’s weakness for as long as they could. “All posturing aside, this was a horrific betrayal of Yak Honor. What blackmail the changelings held to force King Grunder’s obedience, I cannot say.”
“Let’s find out, hm!?” Another fist crashed to the table, solid and bull-like to make Auroch’s seem puny. A silver mug collapsed like tin beneath it as Regent Hornulus of the minotaurs bellowed his challenge. “I want to know how Chrysalis made Minosa go against her oldest friend. So how ‘bout it, little bug? You expect us to think your momma kept her own whelps in the dark? Heck, This meeting is for peaceful nations. Why are you even here?”
The replay came tersely, emerging from a shadowed end of the table the others shunned. “Because I was invited.”
There sat Morphus, the new changeling king. Young and precocious, slight and quiet, unlikely victor of the bloody coups that followed Chrysalis’ death. Peering his blank blue eyes defiantly as he sat heartbeats away from war, with hooves folded around a simple collared shirt.
The voice was scratchy and high. “Chrysalis did not make us aware of her plan. If, indeed, she was the architect.”
“‘If?’” Khani gave a droll smile, and Celestia decided she did not like her. “Come off it, bug. How stupid do you think we are?”
A hard thunk sounded off as Celestia brought her hoof to the table. Softer than the posturing kings, but all’s attention moved instantly to her.
Her face, still worried, bespoke of guarded hope. “Slurs do not become us. But the urgency of my cause bids me reclaim the conversation and ask if any of you press these demands against Equestria, and threaten war if they are refused?”
A chorus of chest-beating loyalty sprung up around her. Morphus quietly, others with escalating volume. Celestia gave what many fancied to be her first true smile of the day – fully natural of one who expected enemies and found friends. They burned the treaty as a symbol of unity, and toasted each other by the fireside. Angry musings fell away to companionable laughs, and a few promptings from Celestia ended all talk of blame. All agreed the conspirators were dead, and none desired anything more than the status quo.
Hours passed with food and fellowship, devolving once to a drunken contest of stacking cups before Celestia gently reminded her guests she would be quite busy the next few days. She shook hooves, claws, and hands as each one left, relief still evident on her face as she accepted straggling promises of friendship. Auroch took wing for his own land, while the rest headed to comfortable Equestrian hotels.
The sun dipped low, its coppery red a fine counterpoint to the yellow glow around Celestia as she eased it downwards, then passed the burden to Luna’s distant grip. She finished the evening on a hill just outside the manse, affording a beautiful view of the fields stretching into twilight.
A scratchy voice came from behind. “I have something to say.”
She turned to find the small, quiet King Morphus. The eerie blue eyes watched her, and a trembling swallow preceded the words.
“I was involved. So was Hornulus. I don’t know about the others.”
Celestia smiled, very gently. “The claim was abandoned. We have no grudge, if you do not seek to make one.”
“I don’t,” he said. A low graveling entered the voice, betraying emotion behind the featureless eyes. “I have something else to say.”
“Then come say it.” Celestia’s melodic words flowed easily. She gestured with neck and wing for him to close the ten steps still between them.
Morphus did not budge, and the graveling lent his words a thick air of intensity. “I know what destroyed them.”
Celestia went still for just one second before giving a blink and twisted smile. “My agents have tracked a dozen nearby dragons, pressed as deeply as we could into the criminal underground, and even interviewed anarchists from Diamondia. They seem no closer to determining the truth than when they started. But if speaking your theory makes you happy, I shall be your audience.”
Two seconds passed before he responded. Long enough for Celestia to wonder what hidden gears had turned when he said, “The First Flame. Your folk know the legend.”
“I trust this will go somewhere,” Celestia said, letting the barest hint of amusement play upon her face.
The expressionless eyes did not waver as Morphus told the story few books still cared to print. “Dark things conquered the world at its birth. Twisted, ugly abominations of slime and grotesque monstrosity, making the weak and kindly creatures who lived here their tortured playthings. Continuing for an eon until a wanderer came from the stars. A being of flowing silver and light, who took pity on the agonized world and liberated it, burning away the god-demons with fiery might. She was the First Flame, and is the reason for all that came after.”
“It.”
The soft correction hung between them an extra moment before Celestia spoke quietly again. “‘It’ was the First Flame. The legends do not assign it a gender.”
Morphus seemed to consider his response, letting poignant silence enunciate the nigh-imperceptible narrowing of his eyes. “Your legends don’t. Ours do so freely.”
Celestia released an annoyed sigh, imperfectly masked by her smile. “Please speak directly, for I see where this is heading. You believe I am the First Flame? Leaped from the storybooks, wearing the guise of an alicorn for… some reason?”
The black, hairless head nodded, ending with an arched nose. “I do.”
A velvety, but undeniably humored laugh barked forth, then was cut short by a cough and blush. Celestia swiped a fetlock over her lips and shook her head. “Forgive me, please, but excuse me as well. That is ridiculous in every way. Recall that I lost to your mother in Canterlot and ask if such is the work of a world-saving messiah.”
“Mother talked often of you.” Morphus paced to the side, growing no closer as tension settled in his voice. “She called you her mirror, her antipode. You trust others, you make friends, you help them along. You care for them. Precious ponies are potential casualties if two great beings unleashed their might in a wedding hall.”
Pink eyes followed his every move. “Not as many casualties as there would have been if Chrysalis won.”
“But she didn’t.” Morphus gave a quiet cough. “The ponies won bloodlessly, the way you always strive for. A strange result after you so completely lost control, and a triumph for your doctrine of trust and fellowship. I have studied – that has been the pattern of Equestria’s history. Heroes rise and monsters fall with nigh-universal bloodlessness. Your own hoof in things is always so small, yet the result is always similar.”
Celestia smiled patiently. “I teach, and they act. My heroes know me. My opinion has been steady, and it is no majestic secret. Each and every one of us is precious and unique. There is no one exactly like you, I, or anyone throughout the whole of the past or future, and so every life must be celebrated and nourished as befits an irreplaceable thing of beauty. I have taught this consistently, and so my heroes have achieved consistent results.”
The smiled faltered. “And… if you are saying I caused that explosion and killed your mother, that would seem to end the allegation my record is somehow too perfect.”
Now it was Morphus’ turn to give his lips a thin upwards curve. “Mother laughed so hard when I told her my theory. I am an academic, obviously, so my opinion was never considered worthwhile. She could not shake the romantic notion you were her only equal, or accept any idea of the future without her astride Canterlot.”
“Her humor was not misplaced.” Celestia bowed her head, maintaining a serious tone. “To be an academic is a noble passion, and one too often divorced from politics. You will be a fine ruler. But it is an eccentricity of scholars like yourself to find links in thin air, and attribute pet theories wherever the canvas is blank. I can only believe you have fallen into this trap.”
Morphus listened politely, but pressed beyond her words. “It was mother’s crowning moment, when momentum was finally to swing irreversibly in her favor. Your heroes against her armies, no chance. Your trusts betrayed, your friendships corrupted. Not one day ever went by without a changeling in Canterlot, and in pouring over their notes she fancied she knew you better than you knew yourself. Every out you ever had was accounted and mitigated, every space on your board in checkmate. For the first time, the first time in all history, Celestia was in a trap she could never escape. I read those plans in minutia. Honestly, I carried some of them out. You were doomed. And then… a convenient, untraceable convocation of fire, bringing it all to naught. Backed into a corner as you were, what choice remained? Princess, I know I cannot prove it, but I have never been so certain.”
“You accuse me of murder,” Celestia said.
“I accuse you of nothing.” Morphus finally ended his pacing and turned to her. “It was going to happen. She would never have accepted defeat. Not unless the First Flame revealed herself in bright silver glory… that could have saved her.”
He swallowed, and trembled with the next words. “That could… save everything.”
“Ridiculous,” Celestia said quickly.
Low and intense, Morphus went on. “Mismanagement and corruption in the Griffon Kingdom. Yakyakistan’s idiot new king, the civil strife in Diamondia… us changelings, we squabble and stab to get ahead. I don’t even know how long I expect to live, and you can change it all. Bring enlightened rule to the continent and world.”
The response was cold, and rapidly spoken. “The First Flame, if it ever existed, would not have any business ruling the world. The legends attribute it with nothing but destruction. Destruction of evil, yes, but destruction all the same.”
“You excuse yourself of responsibility,” Morphus said. “Why the charade?”
“Why the insistence? I am an alicorn, as others before me. Made worthy by my deeds to be paragon of the Equestrian race. Nothing more. Do you forget I have a blood sister, who shared my womb?”
“She is not your blood!” Gravelly triumph entered Morphus’ voice. “Changelings saw you. Even then we were among ponies. As your power grew we sought word of your past, and one wanderer told of a weeping blue babe in the mud, discarded in those hard times. And he told of the very young mare with deep, pink eyes. Appearing as a child of six, but without gangly movements or trembling gait. Nor was there hint of trepidation as you placed the babe upon your back and raised her with motherly wisdom to call you sister.”
Celestia gave a grumbling whinny and shook her head. “Your leaders of antiquity surely offered reward for information about me. This wanderer made up a plausible little story and cashed in.”
“Princess, all is not well in the world and you can change it. You saw how easily those in power are swayed by the promise of more. We are petty, self-wounding little creatures. You could end it. Bring peace.”
Celestia sniffed. “You are not as wise as you believe if you equate a god with peace.”
“What about just my realm, then?” Morphus stepped forward and reached. The blue eyes wobbled beneath a thin sheen of tears. “We are hungry. Violent. You can help us.”
“And I shall,” Celestia said. “Aid and support will be forthcoming. The rest is up to you, King Morphus.”
“You can rule us.” Morphus strained his leg forwards, though never quite touched. “You are–”
“Celestia.”
The word came gently, softly, and in doing so ended the conversation. The temper was gone, leaving a doting smile. “Princess Celestia, co-ruler of Equestria. Nothing more.”
The reaching hoof slid to the ground. Morphus breathed out jaggedly, then bowed and spun to walk away.
Now bathed in velvet dusk, Celestia gave a final call. “I am sorry about your mother.”
“You could have saved her.”
The voice was low, defeated. Morphus did not look back, and soon vanished into the gloom.
Celestia watched him leave then sat upon the hilltop, submerging her mind into feeling. Smelling the grass, hearing the breeze and chitter of crickets as wind blew through the ethereal silver in her mane. No thoughts, no plans, just the strange transitory sense of being mere part of a whole before cool, pleasant night gave way to day.
Nothing lasted – lives or gentle evenings. Every moment was a precious gem.
“You could have saved her.”
She dreamed – yes, she could have.
Flowing silver and flame. Power and glory, queen of queens, god of gods. A world at her hooves, held still beneath its master in an illusion of peace.
But enough of dreams. She rose and began the short trod back to the manse. Princess Celestia, and nothing more.
A thin, ghostly smile hovered at her lips, for there was one truth Morphus failed to pierce with all his books and wisdom. One truth banished to the dark of total ignorance, where perhaps the whole legend would follow.
Those cruel god-demons of ages past, who enslaved, mocked, and slaughtered life until the First Flame took pity on the agonized world and destroyed them… they were not demons at all. Not dark, twisted creatures cavorting from abyssal depths.
They were beautiful beings, of silver and light.
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DAAAAAAAAAAMN. This story.
This is a really great story. It was a great read.
Excellent, as is to be expected. Doubly grateful that you bothered giving the surrounding nations actual nuance and character instead of just having them be a bland vessel for treason.
I admit, I like stories where Celestia is really powerful and hides it. In this instance, like Galadriel, she refuses The One Ring. . It also hearkens back to the days of warrior Kings/Queens who have to fight and kill to remain in power and to protect their people. Your Celestia, like the Canon one, does not want to kill, but she is more than capable, if pushed. Props for making a good convincing story.
Cool
Damn.
I love Celestia in general, but this Celestia is on a level way above many many version that exist of her.
So much worldbuilding in so little.
EDIT: Congrats on getting it to the top of the feautured box so soon. heh
This looks excellent. I'm mid writing right now on my fic, but will be back soon, perhaps with a little review. I'd love to see some world building of neighboring nations, all of my yes! Be back soon.
Good ol' benevolent Celestia.
Damn, I love this story; there aren't enough like it in my opinion.
Princess Celestia, and nothing more.
This story was an incredible delight to read; from the world-building to the tension, it felt amazing to soak in and digest the unfolding drama piece-by-piece. I think one of the most major factors that contributes to The First Flame's wonderful flow and pacing is just how neatly this second chapter tidies the story up in an immaculate bow. You could have easily stopped at the first chapter, but instead you provided us the answers to the unasked questions: the resolution to the alliance, the conversation with the successor, and a shimmering glint of what the story's title may allude to. Tight, compact, and profound, The First Flame is magical.
I'm not great at being critical, but I can say soundly that this sure as hell as was an awesome read.
This is a really good serious story (while still PG at maximum), which is still very compatible with canon Celestia. It is also nice how you contrast knowledge and true wisdom.
Don't generally enjoy stories that potray Celestia as far more powerful then what's been established, but this was absolutely perfect! A Celestia that is inherently trying to do everything to stop conflict but can only be pushed so far.
A deserved feature! Excellent work!
Short, interesting, and thought-provoking-- as all good writing should be.
I really enjoyed this! Politicking between nations often make for interesting stories, but your superb characterization of Celestia really helps to take it up a notch. Her steel, somber disposition adds weight to her words and really sells her as a living god.
I think the only criticism I have is that the start of the second chapter, with its heavy summarization, doesn't really maintain the momentum from the end of the first chapter.
Regardless, this story was a pleasure to read.
Very well written. Normally I want stories to be longer but I think you nailed the length. You also nailed the execution, timing, dialogue, flow, etc... Definitely an A+ even if it wasn't personally my favorite story, but that was just because of the concept and had nothing to do with the construction of the narrative.
Well, that went deeper than I expected, yet oddly the part that drove me most to thought was the quote from Mark Twain at the end. Even now I'm distracted frequently from typing this to ponder just what light that casts religion in. Surely no god of this world whom truly cares for it would be perfect for the world itself is not.
That was amazing. The last line makes it. After a little thought it reminds me of the old myths of elves and fairies. Celestia is the last, in all of her terrible power and grace.
The quote from Twain is great too.
That ending does make it quite lovely, in its own way. Beautiful without that final line, but much more so with it.
Beautiful and terrible as the dawn, but not so terrible as her destroyed monstrously beautiful kin. And well aware the best way to avoid becoming like them is to always deny tapping into that side of oneself.
And then Celestia sprayed Chrysalis with Black Flag.
lol, bugs..
Twain, in his latter life, was a very unhappy man. He made a God in his own image... and still found him lacking.
Do not think to imagine the incomprehensible. You will only fail.
9060498
mlpol.net/archive/mlpol/src/1491905940270.png
9060498
I hear this a lot for one shots, and it's an argument that really doesn't hold water. The point is that there isn't a lot of deep background and explaining; that's not what the story is about. The world is simply a backdrop for the character drama to take place upon. Sure, the world is quite integral to things; if the reader doesn't care much about the world, then the events happening to the characters don't hold up, but the magic with this story is that it - even with it's meager level of world-building - constructs a stage which we do indeed care about. We know these nations are big, and we know they're friendly with one another and happy with one another, so the prospect of them being forced to fight their ally is something the reader doesn't at all wish for.
More than this is the author's (I assume) intentional decision to leave things vague; the rest is for the reader to draw. I found myself pausing in between lines to create and imagine what the hinted at world looks like rather than shlocking through 10,000 words of emotionless description just to paint the picture of this near-future Equestria.
9060555 Yes... in the comics. And it's still not a massive nation, just a couple more. There's no suggestion they have a a nation or sizeable numbers.
Same with the Diamond Dogs. We've seen them ONCE: a single 'pack' living on the far outskirts of Ponyville.
The griffons seem to comprise just one city.
In fact, the ONLY massively threatening canon species other than the (former) changelings (now Skittles Bugs) are the dragons. They are both rather plentiful and immensely powerful.
9060599 But in that case, what's the point of basing this short story with such radically different world-building and rules upon a show with a distinctly different set of circumstances? It's clearly relying on familiarity with source material, while at the same time starkly sundering itself from it.
This needed to be a longer alt-universe of novella-length at least to make the case for this 'new' world. As a story, it can't stand on its own without the benefit of the show's information, but it also doesn't follow canon enough to work as a branch-off from FiM. It's just a story fragment; a chapter or two of a much longer work severed from the context of the remainder of the narrative.
9060624
I agree and disagree. On one hand, the story really shouldn't have deviated from canon when canon in some areas would work much better. The dragons would have been much better than the minotaurs.
The story did accomplish what it set out to accomplish though. Quickly set up the geopolitical map where Equestria is the single most powerful nation economically, but weakest militarily, and that Chrysalis has aligned every power worth mentioning against Celestia. Then show that Celestia is actually overwhelmingly powerful, but doesn't want to fall down the slippery slope of tyranny. There isn't really a need for any more detail than that in a short story.
9060624
Different, sure. Radically different? Not even close. If it were radically different, then this would be an alt-universe about Day Breaker putting down rebellion from the nations mentioned in the story. All of these nations exist in canon, Equestria exists in canon, and all of the characters exist in canon. Indeed, the scale might be larger, but it's established this is sometime in the future, not right now.
I fundamentally disagree with that. I don't even think this story would benefit from a little more context, let alone an entire novella's worth. Once again, you don't need to write 20,000 words of world-building just to set up 5000 words of character interaction. I don't mean to sound like a douche with this, but you're reading this story entirely wrong if you think it needs more set-up.
Isn't that the entire point of a fanfic, though?
What narrative? The problem with this criticism is that you're trying to look behind the curtains too hard. The point of this short story is that it is the narrative; the narrative is baked into the little lines of narration in between sharp, poignant, and well-written dialogue. We don't need to know how Equestria and her neighboring nations got to this point because it doesn't matter, and frankly I don't think anyone would care to know. It's like looking at a painting of a flower and complaining that there isn't an essay on photosynthesis stapled to the frame.
One detail that Morphus and everyone else overlooked. How, exactly, did the flimsy paper treaty survive the explosion but someone as rugged as a changeling queen or an adult minotaur could not?
The only logical reason would be that Celestia wanted it to. Any sequence of events she could make up to explain how this could happen would be dubious at best.
Of course, pointing this out to someone who you suspect has just committed multiple acts of regicide might be ... unwise.
9060624
This is bunk. All of these species are established, and nothing of what occurred contrasted any absolutes the show laid forth aside from the very recent mass-reformation of the changelings. And frankly, criticizing a fanfic for diverging from canon is nonesense. Thousands of fics have distanced from canon more decisively than this. This is absurdly weak criticism.
I have previously stated why you are wrong.
This criticism is actively stupid. It is absolutely okay for fanfiction to rely on show knowledge, because otherwise we have to relearn Fluttershy is a shy yellow pegasus who likes animals in every single fic. And again, there are thousands of fimfics that don't strictly follow canon. If your criticisms were taken to heart it would be actively detrimental to aspiring authors seeking to learn and to the community as a whole.
I have previously stated why you are wrong.
Alondro, you really need to learn the difference between "I didn't like this" and "it was bad." Based on your very strange opinions regarding fanfictions and short stories, I can comfortably say it is a big difference.
9060651
Didn't want to kill Torch, he's a cool dude.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I guess if you want to bridge the gaps, they're too anarchic, dispersed and isolated to really count as a power, and totally indifferent to promises of territory, so were ignored by Chrysalis.
9060669 A good fanfic takes the source material and builds a narrative of its own that's able to stand apart, even assuming the source material never existed.
You could say that FiM was, in fact, a fanfic of the original 1980's series. THAT is how it's done.
That was an amazing read Dan. Loved every word of ot, especially all the small references to the First Flame you put in that hint at a longer history. That final reversal in the last line really ties it all together!
It was good, using Twain's idea of what a god should be as a basis
I would have taken it a different route. I really want to in fact.
I’ve been meaning to read something of yours for a while, and I can say I’m certainly not disappointed.
Oh wow! I definitely liked it. This is the kind of storytelling that piques my interest the most!
I absolutely adore high fantasy drama/adventure stories.
9060888
Can't you just agree to disagree?
The conflict of opinions is an unfortunate but inevitable thing. But at this point, you two have dug in your positions and aren't giving an inch. There is little point anymore in arguing over which is better, unless you two are engaged in a friendly debate for the academic betterment of all, which I don't think you are. Besides, this isn't exactly the best place for it.
I won't say which is better, since – and I'm getting a bit philosophical here – there is no true better. Everyone has different options, and like I said, conflict is inevitable. But you can choose what to do with that conflict. Will you engage in an inconsequential and petty argument over it, or will you accept that there are differing opinions out there – opinions which have merit to themselves? It's your choice.
I think this was just perfect. It didn't need world-building for the kind of story it is. It's not a longer, exploratory story. It gives us all we need to know for this specific setting, and 'diverging from canon' that people are talking about is silly. All fan-writing falls into that, no matter how close to the show it is. Not to mention the show doesn't give us much extra-territorial and geopolitical to work with. Criticizing a great story because of something like that is the height of silliness.
We got a wonderful story of a surprisingly mortal Godlestia who, in the end, is just an old, sad mare who grasps at fleeting hope and moments of goodness, her only reward for sacrificing so much for the sake of everyone else in the long run. We are painted the picture of someone who truly plays the long game, not spiting the future for the sake of today's individuals, who is so wise as to know and shape the course, guiding - even if by example - towards a better future for everyone, at the cost of her own happiness.
As always I continue to believe, regardless of canon, that the unicorns didn't control the heavens, they just used their cunning and intellect - greater than that of the other two tribes, and the mysteriousness of their horn-magic to make it seem like they did, thus forcing earth ponies to grow food for them and pegasi to not try and conquer them with their military might. So a Celestia or Celestia/Luna who existed before this paltry 'thousand years ago' time period (that somehow everything falls into) fits with the way I like to see things, anyway.
9060624
Could you cease being the biggest negative nancy on this website? You have so much goddamned criticisms and things to bitch about almost every fanfic, yet I don't see you crafting your own.
Huh. And here I thought this was going to be about Dark Souls.
Also, Harshwhinny > Celestia.
Lmao yeah, Alondro really is that cancer that the mods won’t ban.
Anyway, loved the story.
Was the final implication that she was originally one of the demons, or just that playing god would ultimately be evil no matter how benevolent she was at first?
In any case, I loved it, from the gut twisting sympathy for a good person/nation about to be ruined by evil, to the satisfying turn-around, to the surprise philosophical ending.
I liked it even though I really hate when stories make Celestia godlike and Luna just some bonus Alicorn the story needs out of the way.
Interesting read.
Although Oplestia committing regicide and getting kinda away scot-free somewhat soured it to me little bit. Despite her having looong run peace reasons.
Result; no like nor dislike, but gets in faves for later re-read.
Still a good read. Keep it up.
I liked this story a lot. It was evocative, and less a narrative than a kind of extended introspection with one big plot point. The relationship with the replacement monarchs could have stood to be as fleshed out as the first chapter, though Morphus was very well done. Nice work!
9061397
That she was one of them. It helps us to understand why she would refuse her temptation and Morphus' request to become a savior figure - because she knows her kind all too well.
Loved it.
Not too long, just enough hanging mystery, and well expressed body language and conversation.
Good hook at the end too.
Honestly, I loved it.
Through both cultural and personal quirks, I intrinsically distrust authority and idolize those who decline it when they are offered (how rare they are), so it would only follow that the idea of a Celestia who could easily exercise command of the whole world yet chooses not to and empowers those around her towards self-command, would naturally be appealing to me.
Sooo... Was Celestia the "First Flame" or not?
9061450
yep, and the 'evil gods' were of the same species
9060492
The author said that he/she would love to see some comments that don’t reply to you, so...
What’s Black Flag? Some type of bug spray?
9061450
Yes.
>murders all the world leaders
>no one cares
This story took me really aback, with this strange folklore tale, and how Celestia acts around the other rulers. Yet I have to say, it was a bit of a Deus ex machina at the end. Simply "poof", and they're all dead. But then again, it fits how everything's portrayed around sunbutt.
I must say that's some impressive covert intimidation!
So I'll continue to play with my dollies in a way that entertains me, and you obviously can't do anything about it. Ha-ha