• Member Since 17th Jun, 2012
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Rune Soldier Dan


Love is a verb, not a noun.

Comments ( 70 )

Sol Invictus

This is the like the fifth story about Twilight and Celestia's bond at the end of the world. Is there any particular reason for that?:rainbowderp:

8082236 i imagine with both being immortal, end of the whole world is one of the few "goodbye" tear jerking moments you can make.

8082295 True, but there's other possibly-immortal horsies and I've never seen any non-Twilestia end of the world stories. Someone ought to try and write, I dunno, Rarijack at the end of the world played as seriously as possible. I'd love to see that.

Sunny #5 · Apr 8th, 2017 · · ·

Twilight! You have CPR to perform, you silly filly.

Sunhorse needs to enjoy her victory parade and then take a long vacation on the Prench Rivera. Punching out Azathoth is rather impressive.

A sad drama? It's a sunny Saturday afternoon right now, so I shall save this one for another day. Still, have a preemptive upvote.

8082301 true, but as said, when you are limited in your options you work with what you have (or can come up with).

On the other hand when you have a lot to work with you have lots of options, so some will happen rarely.

Fug. Someone is cutting onions in the next room over...

"Glory, Hallelujah,
And Truth is Marching on."

Battle Hymn of the Republic is so fitting. I could read this while listening to it.

Sad but beautiful with a slight(?) twinge of hope.

I really enjoyed reading this and I'm not even a terribly huge fan of end of the world/apocalypse type stories.

Kudos to a job really really well done.

... Oh, wow. I don't have words for this, beyond magnificent...

Alondro #12 · Apr 8th, 2017 · · 18 ·

Pfft, when apocalyptic demons show up, you just call Saitama. He works cheap and is super-effective!

Honestly, this is pretty and all... but it's just a scene out of nowhere with no context. The scope is suddenly so vast as to lose all meaning. The Doom is, for all I can tell, an arbitrary Lovecraftian-style horror. Without any support, it's just a snapshot of a place we don't know. Replace the names of Twilight and Celestia, and would this really mean anything at all?

Ooh, very nice.
I like the style, I like the pacing and the descriptions of the fight - very memorable.
The scope of events you have managed to compress into this short piece is impressive, as the worldending - or at least world-changing - proportions become clear nonetheless.
Some why's and how's might remain unanswered, but I'm of the impression they don't matter here.

The divine die with grace, it seems.
Great work.

8082884
If you replaced Twilight's and Celestia's names, this would have less meaning, obviously. Your point?

Edit: I gotta ask, are you actually human?

IT'S AN ENEMY STAND!

I'm sorry.

So after all the times she was Worfed, this is the one time she doesn't throw the unstoppable Twilight at a problem?

I don't think Saitama ever took on something _this_ big, and I don't think he's ever punched hard enough to make a 500 mile wide crater.

That being said, I think the Doom is a bit oversold:

"Eater of a million worlds, across billions of years. And each of those worlds like our own: love, harmony, gone! How strange it felt to look up last night and realize I am an infant. All this time, and I knew nothing. Love, harmony… all I thought I knew. Nothing.”
A white hoof raised and pawed the ground gently, betraying the stone face above. “It did not come easily to me. While Luna tried in vain to delay its course, I studied. I unearthed tomes older than Equestria, and glanced through every prophetic sight I possessed. My eyes which saw every threat and answer I’ve ever faced saw only doom. No answer. This…”
She paused. Swallowed. “This is the end, Twilight.”

And then she beats it. When millions of worlds couldn't, before. And she saves the sun, too. If you're promising an apocalypse and a genuinely out-of-context unstoppable threat [1], you deliver, you don't ass pull a happy ending. Heck, at least have the Sun die with Celestia: we know from the season five ender that Equestria can get along without it. :pinkiecrazy:

It's a good, emotionally affecting story. But you shouldn't sell the bad guy so hard! It's like a wrestling match where the opponent is promoted as the genetically pure hybrid of internet meme Mr. T and Chuck Norris and then proceeds to professionally job to the hero wrestler.

[1] Where the hero herself is sure she can't win, mind you.

Alondro #18 · Apr 9th, 2017 · · 11 ·

8083079 The point is that it's a story fragment of a climactic battle without any of the background or development to lend it meaning.

From an independent story standpoint, everything is sheer randomness. This wouldn't pass a creative writing class for the simple fact that nothing familiarizes the reader with the world other than the show its based upon.

And as to your other question, no. I've evolved far more than that simple level. I am Lawnmower Man, and I inhabits teh Intarnets. (You asked. That was foolish of you. :trollestia:)

Hellstar Remina?

8083161
I understand. The battle against the Doom was decent, but it wasn't a good focus, despite all the space it took up.

Wait, wait, wait... Galactus, devourer of worlds came to Equestria? Holy fuck... That's pretty harsh...

Just kidding, although to be honest that was what came to my mind first. I almost wondered if that was the case then perhaps Luna had been transformed into one of his servants. Wouldn't that be a hell of a thing.

Regardless, not badly done, and it certainly reminded me of some late night Marvel Comics reading. Eight out of ten.

I liked it. It's generally hard to say much about a vignette other than if it does or does not make you feel what it is supposed to. Bittersweet hope? I guess that's the best way to put it in this circumstance. It sure is bittersweet. A lot was sacrificed in order to keep the wheel of time spinning.

I wasn't quite sure what to make of the sad tag at first. It could have gone into soul-crushing despair, vanilla orphan in the coal mine despair, or the bittersweet despair I described above. That's good, because it kept me from guessing the ending exactly. I had a pretty good idea, but I didn't know the exact details. I'm pleased. It is a vignette, though, and thus the lack of a word count and larger scope does make it a hard sell at times. I like this, but i see no real reason to read it again. It's like a good movie that doesn't add anything on a second watch. I'm not saying like the first time was so precious that I don't want to taint it, but reading it a second time wouldn't do this any favors. Not liking it isn't the same as it being bad, though.

For the talk concerning that this is an incomplete story, they are right, not not for the same reason you might think, author. This isn't a story, because this is a vignette. The scope is supposed to be much more narrow along with being vigorously impressionistic. It does exactly what it is supposed to do. The imagery is what is important, not the plot or story. A vignette is about what it makes you feel.

It's for this reason I just roll my eyes at the argument that characterization in vignettes is generally bad. The notion that if you change a name/gender/race/etc. and you get the same story is a literary fallacy in this context. You will never get a complete grasp of character in a vignette because it is a snapshot of a moment in time. It's ridiculous because you can say something semantically similar to just about any vignette; it's stating the obvious.

So don't fret, author. You did exactly what you were supposed to here, and it is great as is.

8083137
keep in mind that the sun is much less brighter. Its brown now, it will not be recovering. Equestrian will be much less green from now on. Plus millions will have died

It took the life of a star to kill this Ur-god, I don't know how to convey what I know that to mean. Not love, not harmony, not friendship. Raw power, as old as the universe. Possibly billions of years left until it naturally faded into this dull brown flicker, this dying ember it is now. And she folded it all into herself and forced it into the Doom. A STAR. A nigh-infinite nuclear explosion so powerful that our minds cannot encapsulate the totality of its force for the breadth of a single instant, and she all but become one with it to turn the might of its entire lifetime into a sword pointed straight at this death-world's heart. Power that we can only apply measurements to, in levels of theories. Because we cannot conceptualize its might.

Fitting, for she gave of her immortality, gathered everything she was into herself and gave it to her sun in exchange for its power - becoming as two stars... one out there, and one fighting with the weight of the world at her back. Giving of their lives for hope. A chance, one chance, the last chance. When the Inevitable came to their world, they knew it was the end. And she traded her last peace, the last moments she could share with others, for the slimmest chance that they could live on without her. In her conviction, she opened herself to the fear of being forgotten. The fear that she could not give all that she had if there wasn't someone to watch her light's last gleaming.

Sol Invictus. Rest your head, Dawnmother. You are loved. Sol Invictus.

8083283

Hellstar Remina blots out suns for shits and giggles. Celestia wouldn't have had a prayer.

8083728

"She saw the sun grow high, and… yes, warm. Stubborn heat emanated from its midday point, warding away the hollow chill."

Certainly sounds like it was recovering.

8083817

Meh, stars explode all the time. Now a supernova, there's something impressive. :derpytongue2:

Not to mention this is the Celestia Wank of all Celestia Wanks, after six seasons of her, as dracklor says, being Worfed. But you know what? I'm fine with that: I always liked the idea of Divine! Celestia, and really hated her being humiliated by the Love Bug at the end of season two.

The trouble is that, no matter how much one waxes dramatic about the awesomeness of it, the Author determines the power level of the characters: if he plays up how awesomely powerful the bad guy is, and then the hero, going into battle with no hope of victory [1], defeats the villain by being more powerful still,, there is some dramaticus interruptus.

(Is it the fact that she dies in the effort supposed to be what it makes it possible for her to win? Sure, it's emotionally effective, but being willing to die for your cause is no guarantee of victory: look at the Japanese army in WWII and their bayonet charges against US machine guns. :pinkiesad2: )


[1] Positive thinking, Celestia! Since we're on the subject of Anime characters, do you think Kamina ever went into battle with such a downer departure speech? :rainbowdetermined2:

8083137
She probably didn't think she could win. Celestia has never, in her long life, ever done something like this before, because she knew it would mean the death of her. For all she knew this was a final, futile effort. Did you hear the description at the end? Chunks the size of whole planets were crumbling off the thing's impossible mass. The Doom is at least the size of a gas giant, possibly even larger, how do you kill something like that?

Well... let me tell you, you don't. Not unless you have an absolutely absurd amount of firepower. If the Doom were to appear over Earth today we'd be screwed. At most, we'd give it a few ugly scars, but in all reality we wouldn't be able to do much. It took hundreds of millions of years for Earth to develop sapient life, and thousands more (and I'm being generous here) for us to reach the technological level we're at currently. So yeah, I can see this thing being the doom of countless worlds that just couldn't muster up the sheer force needed to kill it.

The point of this story, insofar as I can tell, is a slice of Cosmic Horror in Equestria. It introduces the idea of a vast, horrifying, and uncaring universe filled with mad things that care little for the lives of puny mortals and sets that in a world where villains are literally defeated with the power of friendship. It was about Celestia, and by extension, the rest of Equestria, having the wool stolen from their eyes and learning just how cold and dark a place existence can be. Love is not eternal, friendship cannot conquer all, and power is the universal currency. Celestia fought to defy that, to prove that morality and intimacy were not just the ephemeral dreams of puny mortals, but universal laws, facts of the universe writ large and small, this is the story of Celestia being wrong.

But it is not a sad story, at least not entirely. For in the end Celestia gave her all to correct her mistake, and buy her little ponies the time they would need to learn from it. And they will, learn and grow from this. They will come to understand the harshest lessons the universe can teach, and they will be better (and stronger) for it. And the next time catastrophe comes to Equestria they will be ready for it, they will know what must be done.

8083953
Must've missed that. Oop

8083993
Japanese bayonet charges? I need to see that, that sounds pathetic, sad, and hilarious at the same time.

Honestly fucking bayonets? Like from the 1700s?? Japan was fucking far behind then

Talk about going out with a bang! :pinkiegasp:
Or several, in this case.
10/10 on the ::yay:itude meter! Celestia, i posthumously award you with
img05.deviantart.net/4a19/i/2016/131/e/c/my_little_show___badass_seal_of_approval_by_crisostomo_ibarra-da269yt.png

8084085 I know for a fact that marines still use bayonets, and (though we don't issue them) we have enough bayonets in my company's arms room to give everybody in the company (114) 1.02 bayonets. They are an infinitely useful tool and weapon that will likely be used until either robots become the combatants or robotic exoskeletons make it possible for an infantryman to carry a tank's worth of armor.

When will a knife not be useful?

8083953

"She saw the sun grow high, and… yes, warm. Stubborn heat emanated from its midday point, warding away the hollow chill."

Certainly sounds like it was recovering.

No, it was noon. The sun grows warmer at noon. The thing ain't dead yet, s'all.

and then the hero, going into battle with no hope of victory [1], defeats the villain by being more powerful still,, there is some dramaticus interruptus.

Hope is perception. Perception can be wrong. Especially when one is not terribly familiar with the extent one can summon a borrowed power.

If you're promising an apocalypse and a genuinely out-of-context unstoppable threat [1], you deliver, you don't ass pull a happy ending.

The death of the lead, the death of millions, and the beginning of a new, darker age is an "ass-pull happy ending" ending to you.

Okay.

Good day.

A brilliant tale of hope in the face of overencompassing dread and despair.

A question, though (and if its your intent that it remains ambigious I understand). What of Luna? The story kinda implies she went in guns ablazing and it didn't go swimmingly. Depending on the final outcome, Celestia's

I am not overly fond of life

...line makes a sad amount of sense.

8084085
It wasn't so much that they thought it was a good idea as out if desperation. You have to remember that Japanese culture is one of death before surrender, and the Allies were about to conquer their country...

This seems mildly appropriate

8084213 Luna is mentioned as being in Canterlot, supporting it with her magic while it's evacuated.

8084591 Ah good catch, mustve missed that on my first read.

Still, can't help but wonder how she'd react to Celly facetanking an eldritch entity. Although at the same time I appreciate that the scope of the story is kept confined to Twi and Celestia despite being about such a major event.

(Sidenote, but it feels like this story is almost like a prequel to this one)

8083993
8083998

Sorry Munro, but I can't really agree with that thinking when BackgroundNoise's rebuttal exists. I mean, just that first line puts the whole thing into the intended perspective alone. Not to mention the rest of the post is, as always for BackgroundNoise, rather insightful and right on the nose.

That said, Kamina is my spirit animal, and while she didn't leave to fight with confidence, and indeed approached her end with fear and acceptance of her death - her ACTIONS were the most inspiring of all. For someone to be so consumed with knowledge of the end and still literally die in the sheer effort of trying to change a future they all but know must come to pass because some part of them still rejects it?

That's some damned inspirational shit right there, my friend. This is one of those stories where it benefits you to let go of analyzing the writing and just let yourself fall into the scene. Don't look to the story to immerse you, everyone has their own threshold, but immerse yourself. Be the Purple Smart, Munro. Become the reason Celestia was able to go literally all out. It's you.

This is honestly the first Godlestia fic I've seen where she doesn't ramp it up to the maximum, and then return home with some bruises and a bit winded. That makes it all the more poignant for me. I think people forget to just enjoy what they read, they're too caught up in critique and ideas of perfect technical writing that they no longer see the magic and wonder like when they first learned how to enjoy a book. None of us cracked open that first story that sucked us in and went "Wow this sure was a total deux ex machina, lame." We fell right in and everything was amazing even though by 'standards' it was probably a pile. Who gives a damn about standards? If you can enjoy it, get IN THERE and boss that shit!

This isn't a bad story, there's no reason to confidently act like it's beneath you and somehow the world has to know that fact. Yet for some reason people only came to post exactly that - they're not helping the author, they're just kicking dirt on his words. Doesn't it stop being criticism if all you're doing is sneering at someone through text? If you think he's made mistakes, tell him, outline them. Functionally, politely. The writer is a person just like you. They appreciate help most of the time. But when it comes across as attitude or dismissive or even derisive, it stops being helpful and is just going to rile someone up and make their day a bit worse for no reason. Just because they provided you with something to read doesn't make it okay to browbeat them and say it's for their own good, but that's what so many people on this site do, and what too many people in these comments have done - again for no good reason.

8084194
I was thinking 1700s sword/gun hybrid crap.
Oops

8083998

Of course love won. No greater love, than one who gives their life for all. Given, because a friend was there to witness it, because we can go beyond for our friends what we would do only for ourselves.

Love and friendship, just not the fluffy rainbow variety.

8084213

Went in to buy time for the others to read/prophecize an answer, shot off both barrels to no effect, then convalesced with the hope Celestia had a brilliant plan in the works. Dancanon is that alicorns each have different rules and sources of power, so all four together wouldn't be four times as powerful. The others have lots of thematic abilities and subtle powers, Celestia has raw strength.

Solem Victrix.

Well, at least it ended... not as depressing?

Wow, thrilling and gripping. Very well done! I had the new OP for Attack on Titan playing during the latter half of the story. Seemed to fit.

8084736 Most people have no idea about military life, so it's okay.

I actually pumped my fist in victory at the point where the thing got dead, so props to you for that.

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