• Member Since 17th Jun, 2012
  • offline last seen 2 hours ago

Rune Soldier Dan


"But who prays for Satan? Who in eighteen centuries has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?" -Mark Twain

E

Everyone loves Celestia, and they do not all love Luna. This is because Luna was once evil.

Celestia does not think that is fair, but she has a plan. If she turns evil and her sister saves the day, then ponies will give Luna all the love and attention she deserves!

All Celestia has to do is become evil... but come on, how hard can it be?

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 61 )

Absolutely adorable. It took a bit to realise Celestia's actual size, but the kitchen scene established it well while also giving me diabetes.

This pleases me greatly.

omg so adorable

Celestia let the scowl drop, then raised her voice to address him and the other guards. “I am going to go work evil. Take the rest of the day off and spend it with your families.”

I think this was the most dastardly part of the story by a country mile. The absolute audacity of such an unscrupulous tyrant.

Let us retire to your room and snuggle together

Best end ever!

What a cute little story! Thank you for writing it. :twilightsmile:

you cant just go around clogging my arteries like this man! i need those!
(i kid, but seriously, "adorable" doesn't even BEGIN to accurately describe this story!)

Don't worry Celestia. You'll succeed in your plans next time.

And then Princess Luna snuggled the villain into submission. The end!

Very nice! This actually felt like a children's story, and not in a bad way. The sort of thing that a parent would read to a small child for bedtime. And, in the true tradition of My Little Pony G4, it's a children's story that both the child and the parent would enjoy.

Okay, that was adorable. On top of everything else, I love the fact that it was Coco Pommel of all ponies that got to be the kidnapped 'victim' (I don't know why, I guess I just think Coco deserves the Royal treatment).
Also:

His name? Chef Buoy, R.D. “R.D.” for registered dietitian, “Buoy” because his mom was a sailor, and the “chef” was self-explanatory.

This made me laugh much more than it should have. :rainbowlaugh:

Omg that was hilarious and adorable

you look very kidnappable

Now that you mention it, Coco is extremely kidnappable. How have I not realized it before?

This was hilarious, and adorable to a degree I'd thought almost impossible. I loved it! XD

I admit, it took me longer than it should have to realize the snoot was not a hitherto unknown animal species... Such a cute bit of imagery. And the kidnapping of Coco, oh that was amazing. She is so VERY kidnappable. I can even imagine her saying those things in her voice.

Oh my goodness that ending. I love how you brought it around to be something so positive :heart:

This is adorable. I love the childish prose! Reads almost like a storybook.

9934879
The snoot IS a rare species. It was nearly booped into extinction during the great snoot wars.

9934719

That's how you know Celestia's serious - she's resorting to the tactics of her greatest nemesis:

derpicdn.net/img/view/2012/11/17/155258.png

I was grinning the entire time I read this. Celestia is so friggin' cute. As was everypony else, to a somewhat lesser extent. Sassy's 'one blue pony' remark actually got me laughing. The entire boutique scene was magnificent. Very nice work!

She shuffled her hooves, eyes downcast, growing cuter by the second. “I wish you wouldn’t kidnap me. I have to pick up some dresses and deliver them.”

“Oh.” Celestia carefully turned a Royal Pout upon the wall before brightening. “Would you be available if I have my guards make the deliveries?”

“Yes, that would be fine,” Coco mumbled. “But I’m still a little nervous. This is my first time being kidnapped.”

“You’ll be alright,” Celestia assured her, and proved it by stepping in for a nose-nuzzle (nothing bad could ever come from a nose-nuzzle). She raised Coco with her magic and settled the mare onto her back. Then she poofed in a blanket and mug of hot chocolate for her victim, because it was getting chilly.

I could be wrong, but I'm preeeeetty sure that's not how evil works, Your Highness. Awfully friggin' cute, though!

Even a change in ingredients could throw the poor chef off his game. He had just made forty cakes for the annual moth appreciation holiday, had the forty-first all ready to go, and he forgot the most important part!

*klaxon* MEME INCOMING!

“What if I stole forty cakes?”

“That would be awful,” Chef Buoy conceded.

And there it is. :pinkiehappy:

Lord freezer, she is not.

Love the snoot moment. And I really want a spin-off that focuses on the Griffon King spending a good 10 min or so trying to discern if Celestia needed attention.

I hate this story.

It made me feel happy inside.

And snuggly and warm.

So I hate it.

I hate it and I hate you.

Curse your wonderful little brain for coming up with this wonderful little story.

May you find crumbs in your bed.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go take some insulin and have these cavities looked at.

Because of this stupid, wonderful story.

...

Small crumbs.

Hundreds of them.

All over the sheets.

9934817

Dude, Celestia is very kidnappable. Then again, she has done it before in the past. A willing "unwilling victim" that invariable results in the dastardly pony perpetrators going insane and/or running to the nearest authorities (currently not kidnapped) and begging to take her back. Of course, it's through no fault of her own that it always ends in tears (of relief from the criminals)...

I wonder if Celestia ponders if Luna has this much difficulty being kidnapped? Although considering it's Luna, she probably has to force them at sword-point to kidnap her else they'll just run away to the same authorities. Poor Luna. You'll always be best kidnapped Princess to me.

Does Celestia KNOW how evil works? I love this story, but Luna is still best princess.

Aww that's an adorable ending x3

People have described sickly sweet a flavor I have never experienced, until now.
This was sickly sweet
But seriously good story two thumbs way way up!

“What if I stole forty cakes?”

I can see this being a cute little series instead of a one-shot.

Chef Buoy, R.D.

I see what you did there Dan. It was actually a fairly slick play on words.

And that was a dangerously cute fic man.

He didn’t miss an ingredient after all. A surprise visit from his absolute ruler who had the power to juggle suns was considerably less frightening!

Having a father who loves to cook and a sister-in-law who loves to bake, I can confirm that this is how such people's minds work.

after all, Celestia ruled Equestria alone except for that one blue pony.

I love the idea of Luna being the Blue Celestia to Luigi's Green Mario.

Cute and wimpy, with skinny little hooves that never threw a punch in their lives.

Punch, no. What she did to Suri Polomare is best categorized as a mauling.

Adorable throughout, especially the kitty-princesses. Thank you for a delightful little read.

The casual way Coco responds to being kidnapped is just so damn cute!

Warning! Lethal levels of cuteness ahead!

“What if I stole forty cakes?”

Oh, screw you. That one got me. :rainbowlaugh:

I'm usually not one much for KinderQuestria but this was BRILLIANT! An absolutely delightful romp in an idyllic setting. I'm more familiar with your dramas, so this actually came as quite the pleasant surprise for me.

He had just made forty cakes for the annual moth appreciation holiday,

This is a very important holiday. The ancient moth god must be appeased or it shall arise to destroy us all.

vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/p__/images/5/58/GVMTBFE_-_Mothra.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20160207234445&path-prefix=protagonist

:pinkiecrazy:

And then Moth Day arrived, and Celestia stepped to the podium to announce the start of the festivities, her new dress accenting her lovely perfect perfectness... and then she felt a small squish beneath her hoof.

"She... THE PRINCESS JUST SQUASHED THE MOTH AMBASSADOR!! SHE'S BECOME EEEEEEEEVIL!!!!"

bevwere.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/evil.jpg

Celestia was pleased that she'd done evil at long last. But also sad, because now there would be terribly fluttery war with the moths for perhaps a whole week. So she did the only natural thing one could do in such a circumstance: drop the Sun on the planet and start over. :pinkiecrazy:

:trollestia:

The world needs more stories like this! Far too many people are overdosing on #sad and #tragedy and not enough appreciate the unique powers of #diabetes

We seriously need that tag by the way.

Love everything about the story, it's pure awwwwwwesome

9939736
It took you pointing it out.
9941828
I think my nihilism took some serious damage to this fic...

Celestia tried to steal forty cakes?
That's 40 cakes.
That's as many as four tens.
And that's terrible.

9954319
It was actually pretty subtle.

9954350
Usually I'm pretty with it. As soon as it got to "forty cakes" I instantly said "and that's terrible" to myself. A Mark Of Appeal's Scrubs reference characters stumped me until the J.D.-Pony did the "look up and left / daydream" thing. And it's been like, five or six years? And I just had it pointed out to me that Mister Flankington in the Continuum is Plankton-pony.

9954668
I'm usually pretty on the ball myself, but I miss things too. It just happens.

I'm pretty sure this is the first time I've seen the Royal Chef actually be a named character where he isn't based on Gordan Ramsey. That alone would earn you an upvote. The fluffy adorableness earned the fave.


9954668
I only found out both of those thanks to TVTropes. Then again, I've only seen about a dozen episodes of both of those...combined. I was also only vaguely aware that the ''forty cakes'' thing was a meme. I'm a terrible internet user.:applecry:

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