• Member Since 20th Dec, 2013
  • offline last seen 22 minutes ago

David Silver


You can get your own story written or push a current story for more updates at his Patreon!

T
Source

Vinyl and Octavia fall face first into the grips of a post-apocalyptic Everglow. Can their friendship see them through the challenges ahead?

Ponyfinder crossover. Besides our two main ponies, prepare for OCs everywhere! That's alright, we're really here for the music ponies. Set during the 'From the Ashes' portion of Everglow history. Do you need to know Ponyfinder, or anything about Everglow? Nope! Learn along with our mares and enjoy the ride.

Chapters (47)
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 482 )

as if it may be her last at any moment - as if any moment may be her last.
of that chaos - of the chaos
They ran in wild gallop - They ran in a wild gallop
what was likely the death of her. - what was likely to be the death of her.
Octavia's attention slide - Octavia's attention slid


The OTP has landed in a new setting. Will their love for one another be enough to see them through the ashes of Everglow?

or who knows what - or who knew what
nodding her head in tune - nodding her head in time
A sudden press of pressure - A sudden wave/sensation of pressure
missed with the still - missed in the still
hooves so quickly, she knocked the table over, - hooves so quickly, she knocked the table over,
Celestia-knows-where - Celestia-knew-where
Octavia nervously laughed - Octavia laughed nervously
I don't see any other options, you?" - I don't see any other options. You?"
against it as if trying - against it, as if trying
bits of electronics sparking wildly as it was all torn - bits of electronics sparking wildly as they were all torn
asked a low deep male voice - asked a low, deep, male voice (we have a special on Oxford commas today:twilightsmile:)
Some of that ash had gone in - Some of the ash had gone into
The male turned away and stalked away - The male turned away and stalked away
towards the surroundings - towards their surroundings


Found a few more lurking in the ashes. Sneaky little so-and-sos.

8892453
Oh dear, so many ; ;. The post apoc is not kind!

Let the adventure begin!

Everglow was much nicer the last time Equestria visited... neighborhood's really gone downhill.

8906527
Maybe the presence of Equestrians can help turn the neighborhood around again.

Vinyl's class is revealed. Behold our mighty skald!

And her performance...

:coolphoto:

was skald-ing hot.

:yay:


the report of their strange devices - the reports of their strange devices
pulse of that music - pulse of the music
her knuckled whitening - her knuckles whitening
shrieked with an intense pain - shrieked in intense pain
who's hand - whose hand
He pat her pointed head - He patted her pointed head
that just give me - that just gives me

She won't leave it.

Tsk tsk... and directly after she chastised the leader for not calling Vinyl 'she'.

8906569
Fixed, but the 'it' is the herd, which has no gender.

Well, it's always an entrance.

And it starts, pretty much immediately, with a man taking the ponies as basically pack animals. That's gonna be a thing, moving forward, isn't it?

Oh, and I bet it will serve to further isolate the duet from other ponies, won't it, as the man (whose name I don't seem to see? Did I miss it?) would steer clear of them.

She was happy savoring life, rather than gulping it down as if any moment may be her last..

Double period, or wannabe ellipses?

"<It moves, we can eat it,> ordered the tallest

My Tallest, you forgot your closing quotation marks!

This is off to a great start. Can't wait to see more. :3

I'm glad to see a new Everglow adventure, but this seemed a little abrupt. So Octavia is going to see Vinyl at a club, only for a dimensional rift to spontaneously form and dump the two in post-apocalyptic Everglow, at which point they're immediately found by a pair of (what seem to be) humans, who are in turn attacked by a monster, and during the fight Vinyl spontaneously starts using the raging song skald power.

All apparently within five to ten minutes or so. :rainbowhuh:

I know this is a double-sized chapter, but I can't get over how fast everything is moving. There's virtually no worry on the main duo's part about what happened, where they are now, and how they'll get back. The description of their location is only barely given, and the reactions of the people they encounter seem strangely perfunctory, without much in the way of the suspicion or hostility that you'd expect in a world where resources are scarce and likely fought over. The discovery of Vinyl's class abilities feels much too fast, even if it is spontaneous; why would she start singing in the first place when a giant worm-like creature appeared?

I'm hoping that the next few chapters will slow down and help us get our hooves under us. :derpyderp2:

8908533
The pieces are in play. This is something of a tradition with these stories. Equestria pony falls into Everglow, immediately attacked, only has time to start looking around after that's dealt with, one way or the other.

It would have been odd for them to sight see when faced with aliens, or being attacked. On the way back, and at the camp? Plenty of time to come down from immediate emergency to 'Where the hell are we?!'.

I'm not sure how to slow down 'A rift consumes them' anymore than I did though. I tried to describe their struggle and even the things going on around them as things got torn apart and they were forced into a corner between twisting nexii, only to jump right in and sail through the ash for a time.

Not a good sequence?

How was the fight?

8908550 The actual description of the dimensional rift in question was fine; the level of detail and the way everyone responded were all well done. Rather, it was that the anomaly just appeared out of nowhere and swallowed them up. There was no particular impetus behind it or reason for it; they just literally had a portal appear for no reason that they were aware of and send them to another world. It wasn't some sort of accident or experiment run amok; it just happened.

Now, I've seen plenty of "wrong place, wrong time" openings for "displaced" genre stories, to the point where I can't say that it's not a classic unto itself. But it's not an idea that I personally find appealing, in terms of narrative cohesion; it's an effect without a cause, and I find that unsatisfying (though there's also a tradition of going back and explaining it later on, to the point where the answer of how it all began can be the - or at least "a" - big reveal for the story, usually alongside "how to get back").

The fight scene wasn't bad; my biggest complaint is that we had very little descriptions of most of the characters when we went into it, which made it harder to follow the action. I kept being confused if there was one male human or two, for instance. I also wasn't sure how the human woman downed the creature; she's described as widening her stance and lowering her spear after she injures it, and the giant worm lunges for her, at which point there's a "deafening bang," and it falls down bleeding from its "newest wound." Was that her? Spears don't usually make loud bangs, so I wasn't sure that she did that.

8908660
It was a hunting group. There were several there. The two we focused on were the female that spoke sylvan, and the male leader, but there were others too. The leader magiced up his gun and got knocked down when he tried to fire it (and never shot it). The female sliced it and got its attention, it went to attack her, BANG! Leader shot it. Victory!

She jumped at the nearest portal, her magic holding Vinyl and pulling her right along.

Methinks Octavia evolved into Unicorn!.....and then lost said horn immediately...or it was Vinyl grabbing Octy :rainbowhuh:

Ooh, this looks like it'll be a lot of fun. Though Randall really should show more respect to helpful fey. Just because they look like animals doesn't mean you should treat them like animals.

In any case, eagerly looking forward to more, especially when Octavia can put all those ranks in Perform (strings) to use. I'm sure she has some surprises of her own in store.

Also, one more typo in the midst of the apocalypse:

I mean, they look pretty wierd...

Weird

8910558
I'll do my best, promise! Typo swept away with the ash.

Oooooo~ another everglow story, looks like this one will be quite the treat!

Vinyal is SO going to 180 when she see's where Octavia is kept. Sandy's totes gonna smuggle em' to a friendlier town... but it's actually better than the spot Maud and Tree Hugger got stuck in. They are unlikely to be forced into a fight-pit... so yay?

Bigger is better!

stronger group

grip

Well, looks like Octavia is in a pretty bad place because she isn't a magic pony...

Should they leave, of do they have to just bite the leather and figure out how to make Octavia useful?

Brilliant plan, Randall. Rather than let the pony explore the community and find a niche, shove her in the literal doghouse and keep anyone from learning she exists. Those enhancements didn't seem to do his common sense any favors...

In any case, I hadn't realized that this was far enough in Everglow's future that plastic was available to scavenge. Should be interesting to see what the musicians make of this world, especially when Vinyl sees what's become of Octavia.

The music suddenly grew quiet. It was still there, faintly, as if Vinyl has turned the volume down to 1/10. Octavia could feel tension building in the room suddenly. Everyone was waiting. A shout went out, "Drop it!"

Octavia's lip twitched, as if a smile had been considered, but died in birth. The thought was lovely, but how Vinyl could protect either of them seemed suspect at best. She reached out and pulled Vinyl close. "Whatever happens... I'm happy we could go... together at least. It has been a distinct honor and pleasure to make music alongside you."

https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/7d278737-7d60-447f-a3a2-281093697257

"<It moves, we can eat it,>"

A far cry from Gararagator, but beggars can't be choosers.

Vinyl broke into a gallop towards the bunk that Shiela had come from in the first place and made a spirited leap up onto the top bunk. "Dibs!"

I figured. Unicorns seem to like height. Lyra and Twilight (before Season 4's end) had their rooms on the top floor. Sombra hid the Crystal Heart at the top of the tallest tower.The princesses pretty much lived in a (though much more populated) pony version of High Hrothgar.

Shiela caught up with and passed the two talking ponies. "It is not yet meal time. Since we are new friends, I will share." She reached up to a cupboard that only she could easily reach and it opened with a metallic pop. She reached into the darkness and her hand emerged, a small burlap sack held in it. "I remember ponies prefer vegetables, but I do not have that to offer. You can eat meat, even if you would rather not." She bumped the door close with the back of the same hand before she lowered the bag into their each.

You get a bonus point for that.

Surprisingly few typos that I could see. Also, I like Quarter-inch. Knight indeed xD

candals

Candles

Wher

Where

Will they make this with it.

Question needs question mark, yep yep.

8934867
Fixed after a long day of vending.

I may argue that personal hyphenated name should be capitalized, but in this case it looks like a "double-barreled" adjective used as a name rather than a pair of names. It looks a little weird though.

Well, at least now the ponies have someone willing to help figure out something practical for Octavia to do. Randall's continued refusal to improve his situation continues to vex me, but I suppose I can't expect perfect rationality from someone who effortlessly shuffles people in and out of the "animal" category based solely on their immediate usefulness.

And as a side note, "elfdom" feels weird, but it seems like the least bad option. The alternatives are even clunkier. (Elfhood? Elfanity? Elfosity?)

Looking forward to more. Also, there's a typo in the kitchen. I think it smelled the jerky:

Pets can go whever their owner wishes.

Wherever.

8938541
Elfitude!
Typo shooed away from the stash. Yay for con updates.

Ah, I saw it slipped in there, that they are useful and not allowed to leave. Octavia and Vinyl will survive, but will they be able to live well, or will the trapped nature of them hurt them?

Is this setting the ponyfinder version of dark sun ?

One of my friend used eclipse to make Vinyl character. He has given her a dubstep gun (a bonded crossbow who do sonic and later, at higher level force damage who add charisma to attack and damage). The rest is as a regular bard minus a lot of bardic performances, no bardic knowledge and no jack of all trade

8944123
That is not a bad way of looking at it. Everglow had a bit of a bad time, and now improves slowly.

8944133
From what i've seen it is closer to fallout than dark sun. There is modern or even advanced technology. And minerals. And nothing as bad as the sorcerer-knigs

So how long do we all think that Octavia and Vinyl will not be speaking or understanding the language that everyone else is speaking and who will understand first? My money is on Octavia.

A human stepped in, an unfamiliar one. "Dinner." Male, with a considerable beard. He set down a bag of... presumably food. "Later." And he was gone. No hello, no goodbye.

Man of few words, apparently. :ajbemused:

Octavia flinched, shrinking a little, but Vinyl didn't seem phased.

fazed.
I have been seeing that typo a LOT as of late.:ajbemused:

8948986
The typo did not do its share and was outcast from the town.

8949005 I take that to mean that you fixed that.:ajbemused:

8949050
That is how we fix those who do not contribute, is it not?

8949053
(shrug) There are worse fates. But that suffices.

Vinyl had broke - Vinyl had broken

Octavia's smile deepended - Octavia's smile deepened

the worst potato she ever had - the worst potato she'd ever had

but it had an - but it has an

She nudged ahead - She nudged over

his rugger overalls - his rugged overalls

her eyes where - her eyes were

pointed to the points - pointed to the ponies

She slide in - She slid in

8953056
Found a bonus typo to cast into the wastes while I was going. Hirrah!

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!