• Member Since 8th Mar, 2012
  • offline last seen 6 hours ago


Somewhere in the USA. Probably older than you. And something about MLP:FIM makes me want to write stories. Unfortunately, being gainfully employed cuts into my writing time.


There are many things that the Pillars of Old Equestria, newly returned to the world, have never encountered before.New cities, new technologies, new magic... and a little blue flower that grows in the Everfree Forest.

A submission for the Springtime Sequel-Slash-Sandbox Switcheroo, drawing on Spacial Displacement by River Road.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 27 )

“Mm-hmm,” Meadowbrook muttered. “You just wanted to get away from Princess Twilight Sparkle, didn’t you?”

“By the blazing sun, YES!”

I think you need an intervention, Twilight. Talk to Rainbow Dash, she knows how to not freak out every time you meet your idol. :moustache:

A good story, even if the moral at the end was maybe a little on the nose. Although I suppose that fits in with the spirit of MLP.
I found it particularly interesting that Star Swirl got the same 'joke' as Twilight; I bet she's going to gush about that for days once he's gone. :derpytongue2:

Twilight Sparkle does aspire to be like her idol in every way, even curses.

What does everyone think would be a good joke for the rest of the Pillars?

For Mistmane probably something hair-related.
For Somnambula either comedic narcolepsy or being unable to walk in a straight line.
And for Flash Magnus an acute case of Brad-ism.

An acute case of Brad-ism? No plant could be that cruel.

Somnambula would go goth. Spontaneous black eyeshadow, leather out of nowhere... and Rarity would finally learn the identity of that Toxicodendron person who opened a line of credit with Rarity for You.

Mistmane's coat would poof up and go as ethereal as her mane. Some ponies would find looking at her to have a lava lamp-like effect.

And Flash Magnus would look like Scootaloo's twin brother. There might be an incident where the two stand next to each other in front of Rainbow Dash with her not knowing how to feel about the situation.

Also, glad I could help with the prereading. :twilightsmile:


Hmm. Flash's main shtick is his combat prowess, speed and agility in flight. I'd have him more or less parallel Rainbow's curse of reversed wings like Starswirl's paralleled Twilight's -- although considering the way his combat style seems to focus on stonewalling and standing firm against whatever his enemies throw against him, I also quite like the idea of the Joke making him as light as a feather, so that even the weakest blow or push can easily send him flying or floating away.

Somnambula... if I recall correctly, both her adventures, in the show and in the Legends of Magic comics, had her navigating with some ease in situations where finding your way is difficult -- the blindfolded ropewalk in "Daring Done?", and the part in the comic where she used her glowing necklace to find her way in the pitch-black belly of a snake. Perhaps the Poison Joke might take away her senses of balance and direction and make her permanently dizzy and stumbling around.

Mistmane is trickier. It'd have to be something to do with beauty... perhaps she could regain her original beauty but lose her ability to use magic and thus become unable to spread beauty like she used to, which to her would be a strongly negative trade. Alternatively she could lose her sense of aesthetics, making her unable to tell what other people would find beautiful or ugly.

Obviously the joke is they're going to fucking die 'cause they're thousands of years old.

Wow. You actually made me feel sorry for Stygian. That takes talent. ;) Okay, all seriousness, good story here. Nice action, good humor, and yes. I did feel sorry for Stygian and how the 'gifts' turned out to be curses.

Stygian was foolish. He could have just accepted his role. "Not everyone will fight, but we all can contribute to victory."

But he didn't want to. That's fine. But his plan? It was stupid to just steal the items like that. He could have said, "Hey guys? I found this great ritual we could use to copy our magic artifacts. Then we all could share in their benefits!" And then after discussion, it would either be revealed to be a bad idea, or a great idea. And if it were a great idea, then everypony could have done it.


True for that episode, but in this case, they only had enough of the ingredients to fill the smaller tub.

Took the words right outta my mouth. :D

Eina "brandari" hér er andlit þitt.
Ég er bara að grínast. Þetta er ótrúlegt! Ég krefst meira.

Just wait until Spike takes the Pillars of Light to the Crystal Empire.

Wait til they meet Flurry Heart...:rainbowlaugh:

Starswirl: "How did this happen?!"
Twilight:"I know,I know,we were surprised the baby was an alicorn too."
Starswirl:"NOT THAT. HOW did she squeeze THAT out of her small frame?The baby's wings are bigger than an albatross!"

"Galdur", snort, snort.

I love Rockhoof's sass and Star Swirl being a crusty old codger. It's interesting that Star Swirl's curse is identical to Twilight's, and one thing I haven't seen anyone else point out is how similar Rockhoof's curse is to Applejack's, only his is not as extreme. And Stygian's curse was the most complicated, and the most poignant.

A lovely look at the character of these pillars.

A fun little romp, thank you for writing.

“That is a restricted spell, and for good reason! A unicorn needs deep mana reserves to cast such a powerful spell!”

That's a reason to restrict a spell? That just sounds like something people in the middle ages would say so that the present wouldn't try to gain power... actually considering what time period he's from that makes perfect sense, though the fact that mind alteration (reformation) spells are in public libraries means there probably aren't ANY non-dark magic spells that are restricted now.

Restricting things "for your own good" is something all governments do, and it can be for benign or malevolent reasons.

True but then the complete lack of restriction on any other spells seems weird even in the comics they just said “good thing celesta taught twilight dark magic” they didn't even say it was restricted they just said that it was a good thing she knew it, that plus the reformation spells make me assume that they actually DONT regulate magic at least not anymore.


Well, we don't restrict people from trying to lift weights heavier than they can safely lift, but that's because beyond a certain point, they just can't lift them; straining and huffing and puffing will get you nowhere against an immovable object, and eventually you may injure something, but you'll have plenty of warning.

But if magic works differently than musclepower, and overextending yourself greatly can cause a sudden case of death without a heads up, it's completely reasonable to keep certain things restricted/controlled until an individual has shown they have the needed oomph to handle a thing.

Think of it like if, instead of not being able to move the aforementioned object, you started moving it, but your muscles snapped your bones like twigs and tore themselves apart the moment it started shifting. We'd probably post guards by the weight machines to check your weight limit if it was that stupidly easy to kill yourself in a moment of prideful showing off. :pinkiehappy:

No, muscles will never work like that, but magic is a lil different than muscle, and may be more like electricity, being energy-y and all. :twilightsmile: Ever short a high capacity battery? (Here's a hint: don't!)) The resulting potential explosion is sudden, catastrophic, and quite capable of being lethal.

True but the show has shown on numerous occasions that almost no spell is really restricted, hell sunburst gained an ancient book by star swirl in what was essentially a grab bag, and if they sold something like that I assume they could have easily sold the Necronomicon without a problem. witch either means that they have been gambling on selling restricted spells in books, or that there are no such restrictions and they just don't care.

At first I thought the joke on Stygian would be that he inherited all the traits that the other pillars lost but having it such that he has everything he wanted but lost what he had was a more fitting joke.

Can i do a humanish version of this story? Plz. I will give you credit.

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