• Member Since 26th Sep, 2011
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My ability to see what others miss is matched only by my ability to miss what others see.


It's been several years since Ditzy Doo helped stop the Elements of Harmony from accidentally destroying the world. Since then, there have been a number of developments familiar to those who followed recent Equestrian history in more conventional timelines. Some saw her assistance; others didn't. Chrysalis she could help with; Starswirl's Unfinished Spell not so much.

But there's one impending disaster that won't be familiar to any onlookers. In this world, ponies age at roughly twice the rate of humans until they turn ten. Little Dinky Doo is seven going on sixteen.

The first impulse of any planeswalker is to run away from the problem. That doesn't work when the problem is her daughter.

A much-expanded version of an entry in the 11/8 Quills and Sofas crossover speedwriting competition. Set roughly between Seasons 4 and 5. Kindly preread by Akouma.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 33 )

Congratulations on 100 stories!


Okay, finished it at last! Adorable and cute, with a touch of insanity and silliness (aren't they the same thing?) at just the right moments. Bravo. Thanks for a happy little story. :twilightsmile:

So, Equestria's temporal weirdness means that Sarkhan's visit and his actions weren't erased when he wrote himself out of history. Right? Or did they just get attributed to someone else?

Given how the Eldrazi were still released, I'm inclined to believe that Sarkhan undoing his own birth only had causal consequences for Tarkir. His actions in the rest of the Multiverse still happened, including his terribly botched errand on Ungula.

(And even if that weren't the case, yes, Ungula's temporal wonkiness does mean that they would remember Sarkhan.)

This is the best :heart: Really, I missed your humor and innovation at its purest, FOME, just as much as I missed this version of Equestria. The perfect 100th Story Mark :twilightsmile: Here's hoping for 100 more!

I can deal with a severed thumb on a chain, it's not the ickiest thing I've ever seen....but WHY DIDN'T THEY EVEN OUT THE NAIL??? >___<

Sarkhan’s time travel only affected events on tarkir. Everything he did while on a different plane still happened just as it did before he time travelled.

you went UN in here didn't you. Cheeky!

As she kept processing the concept, Ditzy's thoughts leaked out her mouth. "Do you think Twilight Sparkle got out of hers early, or never left?"

The point is living under her is nice, and we're Just Not Questioning It.

Ditzy looked around the elegant boutique, considered Rarity's Whinnysotan heritage, and carefully said, "Do they ever grow out of it?"

You are really good at being insightful.

"My little sister Blinkie used to dye black streaks in her mane, listen to heavy metal records, and call herself Limestone."

Aw, I forgot how much I miss Blinkie!

Address sighed. "Yeah, tweenage paranoia runs in the family. Your great-grandfather once sealed himself in one of the Royal Archive's reading rooms for a week because he didn't feel safe at home."

But was he the child or the parent?

Came here to say congratz on 100 stories! Woohoo!

-GM, master of onions.

According to WotC, In the new timeline, Sarkhan basically just randomly manifested out of the aether as a fully grown human Planeswalker with memories of a Tarkir that never existed.

I prefer an idea where he was born into the new Tarkir, but as a dragon from the Dragon Storm instead of a human, but he doesn't know that because he didn't get any new memories when he returned downtime to his present and replaced his co-temporal self. The reasoning I have for this is partly the line in the Dragons Uncharted Realm story where he notes that it's suddenly easier to turn into a dragon than it ever was before.

Fortunately, distracting megalomaniacal tween unicorns from their plans of Equestria domination has become much easier since the invention of ice cream.

Congratulations on 100 stories, as others have been saying. :)

...Hm. Though it looks like I'll need to decide whether to barrel ahead with this, or read the sequel first. Well, that does at least make it easier to decide whether to read this now or postpone it/the decision until after I've finished a few unread chapters in favourited stories that have also arrived today, which might otherwise have been a tricky one. :)

(Don't usually leave comments on things before/without reading them, but I didn't want to miss the congratulations. :))

"Is that a horn on your head or are you just happy to see me?"

The Bearers absorbing the Elements is an interesting thing to just gloss over.

Nice! :pinkiehappy:

Only saw 2/6. Sequel Hooks!

If Address's present was that book, well, the thought counts more than the utility in this case.

Good thoughts, though.

So, no sibling for Dinky. Huh. *shrugs*

Perpetual Motion when scaled up, is OP no matter what? Interesting!

CMC can mana bond. Oooh! Talents undetailed?

Lastly, no Card? *shrug*

"Mandatory friendship shackles"? Best to keep those far away from Dinky and Twilight both.

Courtesy of Kingsley Glitter Sparklefriend, no doubt.

And of course Ditzy can see the silver border.

This was a wonderful story. Happy 100 fics, FoME!

Well, this is nostalgic. You certainly won't find me writing a sequel to my first fic, which was me just working out the last of my chuunibyou phase.

the secret of unicorn megalomania is that it's overstated when it's said that every unicorn dream of conquering the world, rather it's a desire to control and dominate those they are closest to

Comment posted by garfan deleted Dec 1st, 2019

Ditzy Doo remains Best Mom. A sweet story, some nostalgic details about the early timeline Pies, and congrats on hitting triple digits worth of narrative.

Goblins are not known for their manicures. Except on Mercadia.

Hey, if any planeswalker's going to visit silver-bordered planes, it's Pinkie Pie.


The point is living under her is nice, and we're Just Not Questioning It.

Hey, no one said megalomania was always a bad thing.

You are really good at being insightful.

The moment we saw Rarity's parents, it explained so very, very much.

But was he the child or the parent?

Okay, he may have sealed himself in the Archives more than once.

But does that mean that all Tarkiran (Tarkese?) dragons could assume humanoid form if they wanted to? I'm imagining something like Azeroth's Dragon Aspects with the Dragonlords. Ojutai would probably love pulling the "I was the mysterious old man the whole time" bit if he could get past his vanity.

Any story that breaks through depression is already a win. Thank you.

It doesn't stop the sinister plots, but at least they're targeting something relatively harmless. (Other pubescent ponies of the desired sex not so much. You don't realize a unicorn has a crush on you until it's too late.)

I've tried to make this fairly accessible for those unfamiliar with the setting. I made sure to get a prereader who hadn't read the earlier stories to confirm that the story works as a late introduction to this continuity. (Tagging in 9968234 and noting that this is Equis ETSAB.)

Dominating those close to you is but the first step... :twilightsmile:

9968068 9968602 9968673
Thanks, everyone. Never thought I'd be this prolific when I first planned out the tale of Ditzy Doo vs. the Multiverse.


The Bearers absorbing the Elements is an interesting thing to just gloss over.

It is, isn't it? :trollestia:

If Address's present was that book, well, the thought counts more than the utility in this case.

No, that was a library book. It just took Dinky a month to get up the courage to, as she saw it, face Twilight Sparkle in her own lair.

So, no sibling for Dinky. Huh. *shrugs*

Given all the havoc going through Ponyville and the disastrous brush with Sarkhan Vol the last time Ditzy was pregnant, neither she nor Address thinks it's a good idea to have another foal right now.

CMC can mana bond. Oooh! Talents undetailed?

They're still blank flanks. Though I will note that they're actually quite gifted in many colors. All of them got the hang of white and blue fairly quickly. Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle both have skill in red, and only Apple Bloom got real results with black or green magic. Ditzy severed all the mana bonds after they didn't get wizard cutie marks, but she underestimated their ability to form new ones without her help. (Plus, she thought they wouldn't try to get more after the attempt failed.)

Lastly, no Card? *shrug*

:facehoof: I knew I forgot something. Here, have a belated Card of the Story:

Self-Winding Servomabob
Artifact — Contraption
Whenever you crank Self-Winding Servomabob, crank another target Contraption you control.
(Order of the Widget)

Alright, actually read it now. Unicorn puberty megalomania is a cool idea, i'll keep it in the back of my head.

"We don't really like talking about it, but a horn can really go to your head if you aren't careful. Every unicorn has at least a brief period where they imagine ruling over the feeble masses."

As she kept processing the concept, Ditzy's thoughts leaked out her mouth. "Do you think Twilight Sparkle got out of hers early, or never left?"


Ditzy raised a hoof. As Pinkie grabbed her and dragged her back into the teapot, she realized that had been the wrong move.

Pinkie antics should never change.

Anyway, the story was okay, but it didn't impress me. Had a few cute moments and smiles that came because it was you writing it, and you just have the smile style, but all in all seemed pretty average. Stuff happened. It was cute. There was unicorn megalomania.

-GM, master of rails of the crazy train.

Soon enough, she approached her destination. She tilted her head as she approached. Planes appeared to her much as they did on her cutie mark, bubbles of comprehensible reality against the madly dancing background. But this was the first time she'd seen one that had a sheen to it, silvery highlights on the surface reflecting wherever the Eternities' eternally fluctuating mana patterns concentrated most.

I see what you did there.

This was a fun little story. I'd love to see more of this Equestria and Ditzy.


based on my above idea of it not always being WORLD conquest, I bet Twilight's was imposing order on the School of Gifted Unicorns

As an addition to what the author himself said, it's glossed over because this is a sequel to something where that was most of the plot.

Oh, thanks. :)

Still know next-to-nothing about MtG. Still enjoyed the story regardless. Derpy is still best Planeswalker. Pinkie Pie is still... Well, you get the idea. :pinkiehappy:

Hah, very nice! Funny, and pleasantly heartwarming at the end. :)
...Of course, now a list of more stories, not just the one mentioned in the description, have me wanting to read them, but there are worse problems to have. :)

Derpy is a very good mom, especially under the odd circumstances. Good thing she's basically seen everything.

And the meaning behind that gift is pure sap and I do not care because really that's the exact kind of specific nerdy meaning I love in gifts.

Leave it to Pinkie to know where to find the Un sets.

Those black mana mutations leave me concerned, even more than I usually am by the concept of a planeswalking Pinkie Pie. Then again, maybe I'm just prejudiced.

All unicorn teenagers having a Take Over The World phase? As unicorn-specific mental health problems go it's a lot of fun. My favorite one (admittedly not very fun at all) is still Abstract Cutie Mark Syndrome though. Which interestingly enough explains so much about Starlight Glimmer despite being written long before she existed. Short version, magic channeling incorrectly in the brain causes delusions, hallucinations, and paranoia. One of the diagnostic characteristics is an abstract cutie mark, like Twilight's or Starlight's. Twilight's most notable attack is, of course, in Lesson 0.

This was, as usual, a splendid and quite entertaining story that left me smiling. Thank you.

Tween megalomania explains the Royal Guard and their lack of military prowess. They aren't soldiers, they are very fit development psychologists posing as minions of the most visible target a wannabe ruler-by-conquest can see.

Oh shit! Never thought I’d see a continuation of this particular, well, continuity. I can’t tell you how exciting it is to see this here, since Elementals of Harmony was my main inspiration to start writing in the first place.

That reminds me, I gotta finish up the epilogue to my own MtG story.

Accurate. Though unicorn horns don't have laser crossguards. With the possible exception of Tempest Shadow.

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