Starting it off with some fillynapping
Canterlot. The Royal City of Equestria, ruled by the benevolent Princess Celestia. Royals of the three Equestrian races; Earth Ponies, Pegasus, and Unicorn, live within the protective walls of the city and the guard’s that patrol the streets, day and night. Yes, Canterlot is one of the safest places in the land.
Or, so do they say.
In a dark alleyway in the city, the ground trembled a bit before a hole carved into itself open itself up to the night sky. A figure wearing rags and a hood jumped out and took a look around. It was a slender dog-like creature with short gray fur and stood on its hinged legs. Moving slowly it peeked out of the alleyway to see the coast is clear.
“Hey Softfoot, is everything Oki Doki?” a voice asked a bit louder than the other would like. Another head poked out of the hole and, like the first, was dog-like as the first but was more blocky than slender. Softfoot sighed before looking back.
“Quiet you fool, we have job to do.” Softfoot hissed at his companion. The louder one frowned at him.
“You mean.” he grumbled. Softfoot shook his head as he checked the street for any guards. He saw a patrol walking down the street, making Softfoot pull back.
“Down, down!” he ordered as he pulled back to the shadows. The other Diamond ducked down into the cave as the patrol passed them. The light of one of them shined in the direction before moving on as the two ponies continued on their night shift. Once they pass Softfoot looked back out.
“Stay here, I’ll be back Digger with the prize.” Softfoot said as he was about to leave.
“Why can’t I come?” Digger asked.
“Because you’re a big oaf, that’s why.” Softfoot said before pointing up to the sky. “If I’m not back when the moon is overhead you, leave.” with that Softfoot sneaked out of the alleyway.
Softfoot quickly and quietly made his way towards the place he was told to go. He ducked into some other alleyways to hide from some other patrols that came near. Luckily Softfoot, like his name implies, his steps were quiet and soft which made sneaking around easier.
After ducking and weaving between buildings and alleyways Softfoot found where he has to be. A large building that looks like a tower what’s connected to another building by a few bridges. Pulling out a detailed scrap of paper Softfoot looked at it so see where he has to go in the building. And as detailed, it’s just a picture of the tower of the building an arrow pointing at the top part with the simple words of ‘Go here, Get thing’ by the arrow.
With that said Softfoot put the scrap paper away and looked up at the moon, it was getting close where he told Digger was. He went up to the tower and started to quickly climb up the tower in the dark side of the tower. Softfoot pulled himself up on the window of the room his prize is at. He tested the window of the room and found it locked. Grumbling Softfoot saw a latch on the inside of the window. Pulling a folded up wire Softfoot started to unfold it and forced it through the bottom of the window. He carefully moved it so he could hook the wire around the latch and unlocked it. With that done Softfoot opened the window and carefully climbed in. He looked around at the room and saw several little foal toys and books neatly placed away in a toy box or small bookcase. There were smiling clouds and happy sun in the corner wall of the room as on the other side of the room in front of Softfoot was a crib with mobile with stars hanging from it.
Pulling the paper out Softfoot turned it over and saw the words ‘Grab filly and run’ on it. Looking at the crib Softfoot walked over to it, making sure not to step on any spots that would make a loud creak. Now at the crib, Softfoot saw a small purple filly with a dark purple mane with a pink streak in it who’s about two years of age sleeping with blankets with both the sun and moon on it along with some stars around them wrapped around her. Looking down at the baby filly Softfoot took some of the blankets and wrapped them around the filly and picked her up. The shadowy Diamond Dog had a frown on his face as he did this, he has stolen a lot in his time but the one thing that he felt uncomfortable with is stealing someone’s child. If it was Softfoot’s choice he wouldn’t have taken the job to begin with but he was low on gems to trade with other Diamond Dogs and some of the beings he did business with where getting a little suspicious with his fake gems.
Softfoot shook his head before turning around towards the window and headed towards it. Just as he took his first step the door opened, allowing Softfoot to look over and see a gray fur and a purple and white mane. The two of them stared at each before the mares eyes widen at what’s going on.
“Ah slag.” Softfoot cursed as he grabbed the pillow from the crib and threw it at the mare. With this distraction the Diamond Dog ran out of the room through the window. Quickly moving down the wall of the tower Softfoot ran down the streets and hope his lucky stars that he doesn’t run into more problems.
After a few close calls the Diamond dog found his way back to the alley he emerged from and the head of Digger peek out of the hole.
“Sneekyfoot, you back!” Digger said happily. Softfoot rolled his eyes as he checked on the filly. She was still sleeping oddly after what just happened.
“Let’s just go.” he said, moving closer to the hole. Digger moved down in the tunnel and made his way through it with Softfoot following behind. The shouts from the guards from around him ment they know what happened at the tower. Softfoot looked to the side and saw a piece of wood big enough to cover the hole. Reaching for it he pulled the wood over as he went into the hole, covering it to hope mask their escape. The two of them ran down the tunnel which led out of the city and down the mountain. This tunnel soon opens out to the forest nearby and Digger lead Softfoot to a small clearing with a few more Diamond Dogs. Like Digger, who was a short stocky Dog with oversized hand-like paws, they were all short and stocky as they digged the ground a bit.
“You sure this would work?” Digger asked Softfoot. The slimmer dog looked over at the stocky dog and thought about it. What the others were doing was a simply transport spell, simply make a circle in the ground and have a transport stone, a magical stone the size of ones hand or paw, and simply say the activation word. Softfoot in the past has used these stones before so he has a good idea how they work but he was a little worried about the other Diamond Dogs since they are… well, stupid.
“If everything goes correctly and your boys could understand the simple directions on a piece of paper I gave them then yeah, it will work.” Softfoot explained.
“Uhh, they can’t really read…” Digger pointed out. Softfoot looked at Digger and the rest of the Diamond Dogs, getting a bit of a cold sweat. He hopes that where they were heading will have dry land and not in the middle of the ocean. Shifting the bundle he had Softfoot walked over into the circle when the others were finished. One of them held up the transport stone, a shining blue stone that made the circle glow around them.
“You think your boys on the other side got the other that the contract asked for?” Softfoot asked Digger.
“Yes yes, I believe stealing a egg would be simple then a foal.” he answered with a grin.
“Filly.” Softfoot corrected. Digger shook his head as the stone flashed and the group disappeared, leaving nothing but an oddly shaped circle in the ground.
After the light faded Softfoot blinked a few times to regain his vision before seeing that, luckily, he’s not in the middle of the ocean but instead on a rocky mountainside. What also greeted him was the sound of crying, Softfoot looked down and saw the filly was now balling her eyes out. Softfoot tried to soothe her by rocking her but she continued to waile on and on. So much so that the other Diamond Dogs were getting annoyed.
“What do you expect, she’s only a few cycles old.” Softfoot said with a frown. The others grumbled at this as they headed off. Softfoot continued to try and soothed the young unicorn to the best of his ability but he never really understood ponies all that well so the unicorn continued to cry.
The group soon headed to a small encampment of ranshak tents and other short and stocky Diamond Dogs around. One of them went over to Digger and started talking to him. Before long Digger came over with a grin.
“Good news Softsneeker, I was told that the others gotten dragon egg.” he informed Softfoot as one of the Diamond dogs holds up a light purple egg with dark purple polka dots.
“Right, don’t know what’s the benefactor that hired us for these jobs, but I just hope he pays in full now.” Softfoot says, still holding the crying unicorn.
“Ah, yes well you see that’s what I have to ask.” Digger said, looking at the slender dog. “I didn’t see any weapons on you, so how did you get rid of the parents?”
“Get rid of the parents? What are you talking about?” Softfoot asked, seeing the others stare at him.
“How did you off them? We don’t need the parents trying to find their kids, which is way the two dragon of egg aren’t going to find us.” Digger explained.
“They are under a lot of rocks!” one of them laughed. Softfoot looked at them in shock.
“You killed them!?!” he yelled at Digger. “This wasn’t part of the contract!”
“Well you see the pony that told us this job says ‘make sure the parents aren’t a problem’ so it’s kinda part of the contract and I got a message from the pony about this.” with that the group of Diamond Dogs started to move in towards Softfoot. The slender dog back away from them as he figured that the two things that the contract asked for are here, there’s no point for him around. He know’s that he could outrun them but couldn’t hide as long he has the filly. He could leave the filly but he didn’t know why he did this job, something about an important event that’s going to happen in the future.
“DRAGONS!” one of the Diamond Dogs yelled. The others turned and saw flying towards them. Seeing what could happen Softfoot dashed forward and tackles the one dog holding the egg and grabbing it.
“I’ll be taking this!” he yelled before dashing away from the group. Before Digger and the rest could react to this the dragons all came down to deliver swift justice to them; breathing fire on to the group.
All that’s left of the camp was the burnt corpses of Digger and his group and the tents that were turned to ashes.
After the fires died down the dragons flew down to expect the burnt campsite. Two dragons particular were a dark brown scaled dragon stand beside a emerald scaled dragon. Looking at the two anyone could say they were polar opposites of each other; one was shorter, more stockier with a large wing span while the other was more lengthy and limber. No one would actually that these two were brothers.
“Such a dark day today has become.” the emerald dragon said as he brushed some dirt onto a small fire near him. “The death of two well known dragons of the council and close friends.”
“Yes brother, I can see that.” the dark brown scale dragon replied. His voice was low and it sounded like rumbling earth. He looked around at the burnt corpses of the Diamond dogs that lived near Netherscale. “To think these dogs would do something this… it’s disgraceful.”
The two dragon brothers were Nessonth the Juggernaut and Roivren the Wise. Nessonth was the the general of the Dragon Highlord’s Army and Royal guard. With enough strength and strategy the mighty Earth dragon has earned his title a hundreds times over. His brother was the High Mage of the Council of Dragons, one of a few dragons that learn to cast magic. While not as strong as his brother he more than makes up for it with his skill of weaving magic.
Nessonth looked around at the camp. “You sure you want to take the Scaleborns egg as one of your own?” he asked his brother somberly.
“Yes, they named me as the eggs godfather, and my mate wishes to raise one of her own but we couldn’t make an egg as of yet.” Roivren said sadly. He gave his brother a smile. “It’s best if we give the egg a home to live in.”
“Of course…” Nessonth frowned as he moved what remains of a tent over. “Now to find the egg, dragonfire would burn anything but a dragon egg.”
A little ways away from the burned down camp Softfoot looked out of the little cave he found to protect him from the dragon fire. Finally got the crying Filly to stop by singing her a soft lullaby that he used to sing before but knew that the Filly would start crying again. With both the egg and Filly in hand it would be close to impossible to make a run for it, as dragons are very perceptive as is.
The best course of action would to leave the egg here so the dragons would take care of it, but that left the filly. Taking the filly back would take to long and the mother of the filly would be a death sentence since she has already saw his face. Softfoot knows little about dragons in Equestria other than they aren’t the greatest beings to deal with, even less so about ones outside the Pony lands. The best case would he leave the filly with the egg and hope the dragons can take her back home. He moved out of the cave and place the egg beside the filly who looked at him scared.
“I’m going to leave you know, I’m not safe and a bad dog. Hate me and spit at the sound of my name for what I have done. Don’t forgive me for it is the worse thing I have ever done.” Softfoot let out a breath as he saw the filly stare at him. “Now, I got to go.”
With that Softfoot sprang up and bolted away from the camp, the cave, and mostly the dragons, which all turned to see him run.
“Sir! A Dog still lives!” one of the dragons yells out. Both brothers turned towards the slender dog as it sprinted away.
“One of them lives? I must say that Anes’ luck is with this one.” Roivren mused as Nessonth snorted.
“Catch him! Bring him in alive!” Nessonth ordered as the two took flight as well as the other dragons. The two of them flew after the dog as he ran for his life.
“This is bad, this is bad!” Softfoot yelled as he ran, he was fast for a Diamond Dog but to a dragon flight he was as slow as a snell. He kept his eyes open for some place to duck into where a dragon couldn’t get to him.
As the brothers flew towards the thief Roivren started to hear the sound of crying. He turned and saw something purple down below in a small cave.
“Brother, down there.” he said to Nessonth. The Juggernaut looked over and saw the same thing. Narrowing his eyes he saw the dragon egg and something else beside it. “It would seem the Diamond Dog left them there.
“Hmm…” he said as he turned forwards just as the Dog jumped into a whole. The other dragons tried to claw their way to him but Nessonth knew these lands as there are a number of tunnels of the wildlife that lives here have made. “Fall back, there’s no point of following him into the caves. It’s a maze down there and there’s no way we can even fit down there.”
The dragons looked to him and flew off away from the now hole of where Softfoot jumped into. The two brothers flew back and landed down where they saw the egg, Roivren looked closer and pulled both the egg and filly out.
“Now this is interesting, a young Equestrian, all the way out here!” Roivren said as he looks at the filly a little closer as she sniffled at him. “Why are you all the way out here young one?”
“The better question is why would the Dogs would take them? Also where did they get Transport base magic?” Nessonth asked, reminding himself that it was the magic of the transport spell that brought them to the camp.
“I do not know, but this raised more problems.” Roivren said, raising the young unicorn up in his claw. “What do we do with this one?”
“We send her back, to the land across the water.” Nessonth answered. This earned a frown from the emerald dragon.
“You know that the Highlord said we have no contact with the beings across the water, at all.” Roivren pointed out to his brother. Nessonth shook his head as the other dragons landed near them. After a moment of thought Nessonth turned to them.
“We’re heading back to Netherscale! Move out!” Nessonth order. He turned back to his brother before speaking. “Let’s show this to the Highlord. He would know what to do.”
In the grand halls of Natherspire the brothers stood in front of the Highlord Kysoid, a massive dragon that puts the biggest dragons to shame. The whole room was just enough to hold his body with his wings folded up. His scales were a dark black colour almost like charcoal with some moments of red glow moving beneath them, almost his blood was that of magma. His horns had groves and cuts of them from old battles he took part in, some are even broken off and replaced with metal plates. His mouth was open enough to show hit large, obsidian coloured teeth that gave way to more rows of teeth. The Highlord was laying in a large pool of lava as he listened to the brothers report.
“Hmmm…” the Highlord hummed, it alone made the very floor vibrate a bit before he spoke. “The Dogs of the Underground seemed to be getting bolder by the day now.”
“Yes Highlord, even as the scavengers they are this is one of the most boldest actions they have done in the passing moons.” the Wise dragon said. He moved over before continuing. “I believe they are getting smarter.”
“Or somebeing is pulling the strings.” the Juggernaut added. The other two looked over at him.
“Continue General.” the Highlord asked, submerging his lower jaw into the lava.
“I fought these… Maant Dok before in battle, they use ambush tactics and hit and run. That was a long time ago and so far I haven’t seen any difference in their tactics until today.” he glanced. Over to a rock pillar and pointed at it. “The Scaleborns had these same pillars in their home but they were destroyed, and not all of them were destroyed the same way. I don’t believe the Doks would know about that.”
“They do live underground brother, don’t forget.” Roivren added. Nessonth gave his brother a flat look before speaking.
“Yes, what I’m saying is that this doesn’t seem to fit in with the Doks tactics.” Nessonth explained. “It feels off.”
The Highlord gave it some thought, hearing his General concerns about the odd behaviour of the Maant Dok, or Diamond dogs. He looked at the two before speaking. “Bring in the two you found.”
Nessonth nodded as he called out to the two soldiers outside the chamber. The two of them enter with both the egg and sleeping filly. Roivren raised his claw up and, with a slight green glow, both the egg and filly floated up towards the Highlord. The enormous dragon looked at the two of them, one after another. He didn’t say anything for a few long minutes before, finally, he spoke.
“I believe, High mage, spoke of taking the young drake into your family? Am I correct?” the Highlord spoke. Roivren blinked in surprise at the foresight the Highlord had about this.
“Yes Highlord, my mate and I wanted a child for so long but…” Roivren paused for a moment to get the right words but the Highlord stopped him.
“I understand, and I believe the two of you will raised him to be a proud dragon.” he said with a genuine tone in his voice. As the egg floated down to the wise dragon the Highlord dragon turned to the filly. The room was silent for another few minutes before the Highlord spoke. “This young one alone will pose a difficulty situation.”
“That depends on what that situation Highlord. We could simply fly her over the waters and give her back.” Nessonth said.
“That would also pose problems, one is that the weather is turning into the winter months, flying over the water would do a number on the filly.” the Highlord.
“There’s also that they would not like seeing a large dragon flying so close.” Roivren added in as well.
“Yes, that two would also pose a problem.” the Highlord said as the Filly floated down to the ground. “There’s also the possibility that this ones parents share the same fate as the parents of the young drake.” the Highlord paused a moment in thought before looking over at the Earth Dragon. “General, for now you and your mate will look after her.”
Nessonth stumbled a bit when the Dragon Highlord said that. “Uh, not to be rude Highlord but, is it wise to have me look after the filly?”
“Of course, I believe a dragon such as you has the skills to do this task.” the Highlord told the General.
“But that’s with soldiers! I command armies and garrisons, not look after a wee little child!” Nessonth pointed out a little louder than he wanted. The Dragon Highlord arch a brow at this.
“Are you telling me Nessonth, the General of the Dragon Empire army’s and Royal guard, that won every battle he has ever went in, can’t handle looking after a young filly?” the Highlord. The Earth dragon tried to say something but the Highlord continued. “If that’s the case I just have to look for somedrake that would take care of her.”
“Now hold on,” Nessonth announced loudly. He cleared his throat before continuing. “I’m not saying I won’t, in fact I would be honored to take this task for you Highlord.”
“Excellent. I hope you and your mate would show the filly the same care as if she was your own.” the Highlord said. Nessonth blinked a few times before the Larger dragon spoke. “Now, if you both are done I will take my leave.”
With that the Dragon Highlord sank down into the lava, leaving the two brothers alone. Nessonth looked down at the purple unicorn filly and at the lava pit before looking at his brother.
“Did… did the Highlord just tricked me into taking the wee one?” he asked Roivren.
“Or maybe he has a good way with words.” Roivren laughed before taking the purple egg. “I’ll see you Nessonth, hope you can handle the responsibility.”
Nessonth watched his brother leaves the chamber before looking down at the sleeping unicorn in front of him. He hummed in thought before picking up the filly. Looking closer at her for a moment he headed out of the chamber and off to his home.
After leaving the palace of the Dragon Highlord, Nessonth flew off towards his home, a cave on the edge of the Dulsosaal district. The sight of it warms his heart as he flapped his wings before landing right outside of it. His mate Ymi was outside of the cave tending to her gem garden before looking up at Nessonth with a smile. Like Nessonth, Ymi is a Earth dragon but unlike her mates bulky build and wings she was more of a slender build with brass coloured scales and no wings.
“Nessonth, you’re back earlier than expected.” she said with a raised eyebrow. “Did something happen?”
“If you think something bad then you better think again my love.” he said with a warm chuckle. The two of them nuzzled lovingly before Nessonth continued. “But you would be right when something did happen.”
Ymi gave him a curious look before the Earth dragon shifted a bit before placing the sleeping filly in front of her. She gave her a closer look before speaking.
“So… why do you have a little equestrian?” she asks.
“Well after dealing with some Doks me and my brother found the egg of the Scaleborns,” Nessonth said sadly. The two of them were quiet for a few moments before Nessonth cleared his throat. “Anyway, along with the egg we found this equestrian filly beside it. For some reason the Doks took them both, why though I don’t know.”
“That doesn’t answer my question on why you have the filly.” she said as she lowered her head to get a closer look.
“Well it seems that my brother will be looking after the egg and, by the word of the Highlord, I’m going to look after this one.” Nessonth explained. “And don’t say I could’ve said something because I did, I believe the Highlord guilt tripped me into it.”
“The Highlord, the oldest Elder Dragon that we all know of, guilt-tripped you?.” Ymi arched a brow and shook her head. “I think you need time off. You’ve been working too long.” Nessonth rolled his eyes at this.
“Don’t start with that.” he warned before looking down. “But I gave him my word and here we are.”
The two of them looked down at the filly before looking at each other. Ymi sighed and smiled. “Well if you have to go through with this, then so do I.” Nessonth smiled at this.
“Thank you my love.” he said before nuzzling her. As the two did this the young filly opened her eyes and stared up at the two large dragon not in fear, but in curiosity. The two dragons looked down at her.
“You know how to take care of an equestrian child?”
“Nope.”
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Read the first version of this story and like. So I'm hoping this one will be even better.
8773229
I hope so too
Why a rewrite?
8773236
The first one started off good but I lost heart in it. A lot of questions weren’t answered and I think I could do better.
Kirin are not half dragon and half pony. Why do people still do this?
Good job with this rewrite. You did a good job adding wanted details. Great job. I can't wait to read what happens next I hope we can learn a bit more about Twilght's filly days. That and her meeting her new cousin, when he hatches.
oooh, I look foward to this
yesssss
I like the feel of this one. I hope you keep interested in it. Perhaps new fan art will come.
welp they're doomed
8773278 If dragon-pony hybrids aren’t called kirin, what CAN we call ‘em?
8773405
8773278
A Kirin is a Chinese half-dragon, half-horse creature. They don’t have wings since it’s a mixture of a Chinese dragon, but you can say that this is a western take of a Kirin with wings
well.. next 15 years aught to be a real riot then xD
was wondering when you were starting on the rewrite by the way, liking it so far.
Very nice. I like the depth of information we get this time as opposed to a time skip right after the kidnapping.
8773554
I believe most of the issues of the last story was due to the time skip. This one will have a time skip but it won’t be as big as the last story
8773559
Good to know. Looking forward to future chapters.
8773413 8773405
The Longma is literally a half dragon half horse. Lauren Faust even made one for Thems Fightin Herds, though it's a species there. In the myths they are actual hybrids of a horse and dragon.
So if you're going to give these hybrids an eastern name, why not Longma?
It feel like a good start.
8773670 I’m guessing you know about TFH being out on Steam?
I was pleasantly surprised when I saw this on the featured page. I look forward to this second take on your story. Though there seem to be lots of small grammatical and spelling mistakes. Maybe get a proofreader? Either way, I look forward to more.
I'll offer some honesty. I tried to read the first one, but couldn't make it past chapter one. Your grammar was awful. For this rewrite, it's better; I made it to the end. That said, you still need work. Enough people seem to like your story, I'm sure someone out there would be able to beta read for you if you put a request out.
8773799
When you mean on the feature page, do you mean the old version or this one?
8773876
Both. It was a good idea and I am looking forward to more of it.
wait is this a rewrite or is this a rip off from another story?
8774019
it’s a rewrite, why?
8774021
Ok was just thrown when I saw this on the featured with the changes and had to ask,
8774022
Ah... wait this got featured? And I missed it!?!?!
My reaction to reading the summary:
files.explosm.net/comics/guest6/CRW_jay_a_reaction.png
8773278
Eh, MLP fans keep calling bat ponies "thestrals", so I can't really see complaining about pony-dragon hybrids being "kirin".
Hmm, why do have the sneaking suspition that a certain time traveling unicorn was involved in this kidnapping.
8776269
Thestrals were invented by J.K. Rowling for the Harry Potter series, they are not a major cultural symbol like the kirin/qilin is in Japan and China.
A qilin, also known by several other names depending on the exact country of origin, is the cultural equivalent to the western unicorn. A creature of pure good, a guardian of nature, and which a sighting of was seen as a great blessing from the gods.
A Longma on the other hand is literally a half dragon half horse hybrid.
Great to see another attempt at this story!
I liked the old story and I love this one.... I think thats an improvement.
8776498
Oh, granted, "longma" would probably be much closer to the idea being expressed. But, fandoms do what they do, I suppose. Maybe someday I'll get people to stop using "werepony"...
8777869
For me, this is what I believe in:
Kirins are Half-Dragon Half Unicorn
Longmas are Half-Dragon Half Pegasus
and for Half-Dragon and Half Earth Pony... err, don’t know yet.
I enjoyed the first version of the story and had high hopes for this rewrite. Unfortunately I find this first chapter to be unreadable. The bad grammar and sentence structure is just too jarring. I couldn't make it throught even a quarter of it. Please find an editor or co-writer.
8777966
Hmm, question: did you read Molten Fox? One of my other stories that I’m working on? That one has a Co-writer and wonder if it’s a bit better?
8777976
I haven't read it but I'll take a look when I get a chance.
8777869
Werepony is technically what happens when they pony-up in Equestria Girls.
8777966
...I'm pretty sure the original had worse grammar and sentence structure than this version.
next chapter please thank you
How much does this rewrite follow the original? I quite liked it and want to know if it may ruin my initial reading experience (e.g: Twilight Sparkle died during the foalnapping in this version)
8785793
Who said Two is died?
8783070
I found this one more difficult to follow but YMMV.
8786287
Fair enough.
8785807
Example! Does it change that much...?
8786896
Hmmmm
Still waiting the next chapter
Love the start of it so far. The grammar and structure are definately better then the original but could still use some work. I'd Definately recommend finding a couple native english speaking proofreaders to read over each chapter before it's published to the website. That would eleviate a lot of the complaints of the grammar. Though even with the mistakes in this chapter i could still easily follow the story and understand what you meant since most of the mistakes i found were just confused homophones.
I liked the new begining and hope to see new chapters on a regular basis. Nothing is more of a turn off on a story for me then when I get invested in a story with a great concept and the story is good but updates twice a year. Cheers!
You killed two dragons who are members of the bucking and dragon high council and expect to get away with that shit, are kidding me? These diamond dogs are dumb.