Ever since Luna returned from her banishment and been cleansed by the Elements of Harmony, she has always been worried that she would turn back into Nightmare Moon. So without telling anypony she made a magical construct, named the Tantabus, that would plague her with dreams and nightmares of what would happen if she did turn.
That is until one night the Tantabus did something that Luna never thought would happen, it gave her a good dream.
Holy hand grenade! This for featured! 05/24/2017
The story is inspired by stories Tantabus, Mk. II and Aunthood Issues by the great Rambling Writer
Go check them out if you haven't :)
Chapters (2)
Damm this was a good story and nice good as well.
I was hoping you'd put more of a twist of your own on it, but this felt more like a retelling of Rambling's stories condensed to a fifth of the wordcount. Not bad, but could've been better.
I agree with 7550373. This really felt like a retelling of Rambling's stories. It looks like you essentially just gave a slightly different perspective on the Tantabus's part, wrote out Twilight, and added an emotional scene with Celestia (Which I will say, did make some sense—instead of continuing to hide the Tantabus from her sister, Luna just went right to her instead. Not a bad change—it shows that Luna is more willing to open up to her sister here than in Rambling's originals.).
There are also a TON of errors, especially with grammar and tense shifts. I really don't have the time to go back and point them all out—sorry.
I can't give you an upvote, but you don't deserve a downvote either.
It's good on for your first try. It wasn't so dark but I still enjoyed the story, good job
Great story I hope you write more of Luna and Tantabus . Will there be a sequel to this story
*Using my phone's touchscreen
*Finger slips
*Accidentally down votes instead of going to the next chapter
*Welp. Better give it an up vote!
That was a sweet story. Well done
You need some serious editing on this. There were so many errors, I almost didn't finish it.
Onto the next chapter I suppose.
I love this!
Nice work, have my upvote
Now if we could only get a writer that DOES send tantabus to the real world.....
Ha,imagine if everyone woke up,then ran outside to see the portal tantabus was going to emerge from lightening the center of ponyvilles marketplace...only for a small filly similar to Nyx to tumble out into the real world.lol
Luna facehoof moment....
power of dreams in the real world?Nope...power to bend reality with alicorn magic just a little as if twilight was casting discords magic on an apple pie with her horn?yup...
Anyone think they'd be up to this silly challenge? And when you think about it...Luna coming home with a filly Alicorn would be HILARIOUS to explain to celestia.
Who is Tai and where did she come from /sarcasm
Really enjoyed this keep up the good work!
I am on a tablet, but here are some of the technical problems early in this story that get in the way of what I suspect I will discover as I read on is a good story appart from such factors. It is always more important to have something worth saying than to have the language exactly right. Poor grammar etc can be struggled through if the underlying story provides motivation, but a perfectly written bad story is still bad.
-vines
-The last comma should probably be omitted.
-Consider changing final comma to a period. You probably also want either a comma or a period after "I know she can".
-"a sign" -> "assign"... although that doesn't quite solve the whole problem grammatically.
That's like saying Nightmare didn't have emotions. Yet you also made her from emotions. Negative emotions yet emotions all the same
This was a cute story.
Dawwwww....
That was adorable