This is the first time that I made a sad and dark story. You have been warned! >_<
I stood at the far end of the room of the ruins of the old castle. I stared at the set of doors and waited for this to begin anew.
‘Another night, another reminder.’ I thought to myself. I looked around at the room as I waited. It was simple as it can get; broken windows, smashed pillars, veins that snaked up the walls and made them their homes. I looked up to see the night sky, not the same as that night but it was, close enough.
I heard the sound of running hooves coming this way.
‘What is it going to be, this time, a quick end for them and get on with it or much slower, drag it out for ‘my’ pleasure.’ I again thought to myself. I frowned and glanced behind me. There, floating in midair, was a small purplish smoking ball of magic. It was odd really, just looking at it the ball seemed out of place; like somepony made a hole in space and left it there.
“Greetings Tantabus, I am ready,” I looked back to the door and got ready. “Do your worst.”
And the worst it did, I felt pain throughout my body as began to change. I heard the doors open and somepony said something but I wasn’t listening. I started laughing as my transformation was complete. Gods, did I really sound like that? The over the top evil laugh, Really.
I looked around, putting on my evil act as I did so before so many times before, I saw the mane six looking at me with fearful looks. I resist the urge to roll my eyes.
“Yeah, well we got the cure for that!” the bearer of Loyalty said with a smirk. I blinked at them as they all started to glow. Wait what?
As the light faded I saw them glowing and look very outlandish and colourful. What?!
They all started to glow and began to fire out different coloured beams towards me. I used my magic to stop them and smirked. I guess it’s something different but no matter, this will end in the same way like-
I felt something new, the feeling of… sadness? I looked back at the Tantabus as it wobbled a bit and faded out.
“What? NO!” I yelled as the rainbow beam broke my defences and hit me at full force. I screamed as the beam changed me, it wasn’t painful but when it was done I saw that I was back to normal. The elements floated over and did a group hug. I looked around confused as I blinked and saw that I was back in my room.
“What, what happened? My dream ended… happily? That’s not supposed to happen!?!”
I sat at the dining table with my sister at the other end of it. It was a beautiful morning like always, Tia knows how to make the day pleasant. The cooks have made us breakfast, for Tia a bowl of oats with brown sugar, some fruit and a cup of tea. By the smell, it was Earl grey.
For me, I had a plate of hay sticks, some eggs, some buttered toast and a cup of coffee. It all looked really good but for the past ten minutes, I been picking at it. The events of my dream played out in my head over and over again. It didn’t make sense! Why did I get a good dream, that seriously not supposed to happen!
“Sister, is everything alright?” I heard Tia asked me, derailing my train of thought.
“Huh? What do you mean?”
“You haven’t eaten anything on your plate since you got it.” She said as my cup floated over to her. She looked at it and frowned. “And your coffee is black.”
“So? Why does the colour of my coffee have to do with this?” I asked her.
“Because every time you’re upset about something your coffee is black.”
“Oh, well it’s nothing for you to worry about,” I told her. She raised an ‘are you serious’ eyebrow.
“Luna, I don’t like it when you keep things from me. We promise that we tell each other everything all those years ago.”
‘Sure, tell you that I made a magical construct that plagues me every night that I don’t turn into Nightmare Moon again and I have kept it a secret from you from day one.’ I thought to myself. Tia was still staring at me and she would keep staring at me until I talk, I know she can she spends her weekends staring at the sun just to make sure that it’s not getting a cold.
“It’s… just that I seen a very odd dream last night and it’s been on my mind,” I told her, well it’s not lying it’s just not telling her the full truth.
“I see, can I ask you what it was about?” she asked me. Dang, she wants to know more.
“It was… weird. It’s hard to describe but it was just… weird.” I wanted to face hoof after saying that. That was a terrible explanation to her without telling her everything.
“Oh… I thought you stopped going into Pinkie's dreams?” Tia said. I simply stared at her.
“What? Oh yes, Yes! That’s it, I went into one of her dreams… and that’s as far I’m going with that.” I said. Literally, I don’t want to talk about Miss pies dreams. I didn’t look at cupcakes the same way after one of her nightmares for a month.
“Right~ well I would talk to you more but I have to get to the day court before the nobles start getting antsy,” Tia said as she poofed her plates away. She walked over to me and nuzzled me. “I hope you have a good day Lulu.”
“I will Tia, don’t paint the walls red with the nobles blood. It will give them something else to complain about.” I said. Tia rolled her eyes as she walked out of the room. I stared down at the food and picked at the eggs at took a bit of them, I would have liked them more but my mind was somewhere else.
What was up with the Tantabus? It never disappeared like that during the dream, it always stuck around to see it through. Also, that feeling, the sadness, was it from it? No, that can't be it, the Tantabus doesn't have feelings it's simply a construct with one job in mind. It was just magic that I folded together to create it and a sign it with the job of making sure that I would never turn into the nightmare. It doesn't have any feelings, it doesn't even think!
So where did that feeling come from? The more I think about it the more confused I become. I stood up from the table and made the plates disappeared, I'll get to the bottom of this I'll just need to take a closer look at it to see if there's something wrong with it, if there is I will simply unravel the magic the binds it together and redo the folding.
‘Normally I'm not one to end one's life so easily but it's nothing but a ball of magic, a thing, so ending it would be simple.’
When I thought about it I felt a small needle pluck at my heart. I didn't know where it came from but I shook my head to banish the thought.
After talking to the guards that I would be in my chambers for some time and wish to not be disturbed I headed there and enter the dreamscape. The dreamscape looked like a starry nebula, the stars in it always moved to different spots and colours of blues, purples, black, and greens floated around like an endless river. I floated down and landed on some empty air and started to look around.
“Tantabus! Are you here? Tantabus!.” I yelled for it. After some time I saw a small purplish blob coming towards me. It stopped about two feet away from me and stayed there for some time, waiting.
“Good you’re here, now I know this is a bit forward but I’m going to do a scan on you, to check if you have anything wrong with you,” I said to it. That’s odd, I’m talking to it as if it’s real pony. I pushed that thought back and lit my horn to do a scan on it, checking every little thing of it. I chuckled at this, I spent too much time in Twilight’s dreams. I scanned the folds of the magic of it to see if there were any tears and rips anywhere that would change its task.
But I found none.
I frowned and did the scan again, then again, then again, and again, and again, and…
“I don’t understand! There’s nothing wrong with you!” I yelled. This makes no sense! There’s no rips or tears, no changes or disruptions, heck I check if for some odd reason Miss Pinkie did something to it. But it’s totally fine!
I landed onto the empty air that’s the ground and groaned loudly. I took deep breaths and closed my eyes, I tried to calm myself down so I don’t do something rash.
“Did… did I do something wrong?” a quiet voice said. It sounded soft and high pitch, like a small bell in tone. My eyes shot open and began to look around.
“W-who said that?” I called out. I looked but there was no pony there, only me and… my eyes turned to the Tantabus. “Did… did you just… talk?”
“... yes?” it glowed as sound came out of it. I stared at it for what seemed like forever. It talked, it shouldn’t be able to talk. But here it is, talking.
“How? How are you talking? I didn’t make you able to talk?!” I said to it. It wobbled a bit as if it was nervous. Was it nervous?
“I-I don’t know, I just was able to by watching those ponies you dream about every night,” it explained. My eyes widen, it… learned to speak? How can it learn at all! It was a construct, a thing that was meant to keep me from changing into Nightmare Moon. But here it was, talking right in front of me.
‘It learned by watching the elements in my dreams? That would mean that it could think. How could it think! It not supposed to think! It’s not supposed to make a thought at all!’
“Hey… um, I uh… want to show you something.” it said. I stared at it as it started to wobble a bit and started to grow. I watched as it grew some legs, a body with wings, and a head with a horn. Out of its head a flowing purplish mane with white dots coming out of it. Two slits appear on its head and they opened and I saw two purplish blue eyes as they begin to look around before landed onto me. “Oh… so that what you look like.”
“What… is there something wrong with how I look?” I said to it with a frown.
“No, I never get to see you, it’s odd really, I can only sense you and others when they are near, I tried to get the gist of what a pony looks like,” it looks at me with a small smile. “Does it look good?”
I stared at the thing in front of me. It got a body of a small Alicorn, not as big as Tia but smaller than me, maybe smaller than Twilight, at best it was as big as a foal. It also looked cute as a button.
I shook my head a bit. “How do you know what a pony’s body looked like, how do you know what a pony is?!”
“W-well when you aren’t here I go out to other dreams and-”
“Wait, you been into other dreams!” I yelled. I stood up and towered over her.
“Y-yes… was I not to?” it asked. It lowered itself and looked afraid as if it was scared. I felt bad that I scared it but it also brought up more questions. It has feelings, it has emotions.
“It’s not that you can’t it’s just… how?” I asked it.
“Well, the doors aren’t locked. So I just floated on in.” It explained. I tilted my head at it.
“I have one more question for you, when did you start having… thoughts of your own?”
It stared at me and sat down on its flank, which it started to float in the air. “Well… about a year ago, it happened when there was a big wave of magic that passed through here. It looked like a wave of rainbows.”
A wave of magic? Rainbows? The only thing that has that description was the magic re-release from Tirek when Twilight and co fought against him. Did the magic go through the dreamscape? If it did what did it do to the Tantabus?
I stared at it for some time as it stared back at me. The answer came crashing down on me like a bag of bricks.
It made it sentient.
“Umm, hello? Are you alright?” it asked me. I stared at it for some time before I remembered why I came here.
“Last night's dream, it didn’t end the way it supposed to, it ended happily. Why?” I asked it.
“Well, you had that same painful dream every night for the past few years so I thought maybe a nice happy ending dream would be… nice,” it explained. I stared at it for a moment. Was it trying to do something nice to me? My confusion turned into anger, this one act could have lowered my guard and I would have turned into Nightmare Moon again, it could of doom all of Equestria!
“Nice? NICE! You aren’t supposed to give me nice dreams, they are supposed to be horrible!” I yelled. It looked at me with a sad expression.
“But… but I thought-” she stopped when I pointed my hoof at her.
“There! Right there! That’s not supposed to happen! You’re not supposed to think! You. Are. A. THING!” I screamed at it as I paced back and forth. “You are supposed to torture me every night for the rest of my life!”
“But why!” It yelled back. I looked at it with anger.
“Because if you don’t I’ll turn back into Nightmare Moon, now that the Elements of Harmony are gone there’s no way for anypony to stop me from plugging Equestria into an endless night!” I explained.
“But I been doing this every night! You’re not going to turn into her!” she said.
“So why did you go that last night?!”
“BECAUSE I’M SICK OF HURTING YOU MOM!” it screamed at me. It turned and ran off to who knows where. I blinked a few times and realized I was awake. I thought back on what it just said.
“It called me… mom? Why did it call me that?”
I slowly trotted down the hallways in silence. I looked down at the floor as I replayed what the Tantabus said to me over and over.
‘BECAUSE I’M SICK OF HURTING YOU MOM!’
Mom. That word, why did it said that? It didn’t make any sense at all, it’s a magical construct it’s not supposed to have feelings, it couldn’t be able to think, all it was supposed to be doing its job like I made it do.
So why do I feel like my heart was ripped out of my chest? I felt so… hollow inside. I never felt like this before, it was worse than the memories of when I was Nightmare Moon. I was so focused on my thoughts that I bumped into somepony.
“Oh sorry, I wasn’t-” I looked up and saw Tia standing there. She smiled warmly at me.
“It’s alright Luna, I didn’t expect you to be walking the halls. This is what I get for taking a break with the day court,” she looked at me as her smile turned into a worried frown. “Are you alright?”
“I-I…” I looked off to the left and saw a reflected surface. My hollow feeling that I been having was showing, I looked dead and sad, my eyes were sunken in and bloodshot. “I’m fine.”
“Lulu, if there’s anything wrong I’m here for you,” Tia said to me.
“I’m fine sister, really I’m fine…” I said to her. I’m fine, two words repeated in my head.
I’m fine.
I’m fine.
I’m fine.
I’m…...fine.
I’m……….fine.
I’m……………..fine.
I’m………………….fine.
I’m…
“Sister, what’s wrong? Why are you crying?” I heard Tia said. I looked at her for a moment then to the reflective surface. There, on it, was me with tears running down my face. I looked at Tia and then to the floor.
“...I’m not fine.” with those words everything broke, everything I kept in all these years, all the pain, all the misery that I kept buried deep inside me just… broke.
I screamed.
The windows scattered and the ground shook. My screams turned into sobs as I squeezed my eyes shut. I wanted it to stop, this pain, this misery that I been living with for since my banishment. I felt Tia wrapped her hooves around me and pulled me into a hug. My screams were muffled and my sobs continued.
“Princess! Is everything alright?!” I heard one of the guards said.
“No, everything isn’t alright, I want you to tell the nobles to leave. Day court is over for the day,” Tia said.
“But, Princess-”
“NOW!” she yelled. I heard the sound of hooves running off down the hallway. I shook as I sobbed into my sister's fur.
“Tia, I-I’m sorry, I’m sorry that I lied to you, I’m so, so sorry,” I sobbed. She started to rub my back as she hugged me tighter.
“It's alright sister, I'm here," Tai said. I felt the warm sensation of her magic wash over me like a warm bracket and the sound of popping of a teleport spell.
We stayed like that for some time until I pulled away. I wiped my tears away with my wing.
“Alright sister, I know this is going to be painful but I want to know everything, you don't need to rush things I'm here for you and I can wait until you're ready,” she said to me. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.
“It started, the night after I returned from by banishment,” that was it, I told her everything. The Tantabus, the dreams, the pain I had to endure, everything. Her expression changed throughout the explanation. It started from normal, then widened eyes, to shock, to almost bringing my sister to tears. When I was finished I felt like a weight was lifted off me, but I still felt hollow.
“Luna, why did you kept this from me? From anypony?” she asked. I turned away from her.
“Because this was my burden to carry, that and I was scared that I would hurt you and everypony around me if I turned,”
“Luna,” Tia began, “You will never turn back into Nightmare Moon, you're stronger than that. Also, you have me to be by your side like you have with me.”
She walked over and wrapped a wing around me. “You also have Cadence and Shining, and Twilight and her friends, they are your friends and family and we'll stand by you till the end.”
I smiled and nuzzled my sister's neck. I had friends and family with me all this time, I must have been blind all this time. Family…
The realization hit me right there and I pulled away from my sister and headed for the door.
“Luna? What are you doing?” Tia asked as I opened the door.
“There's one thing I need to fix due to how stupid I was,” I took a deep breath before glance over to Tia.
“I need to talk to my child.”
It took me a while but I returned to the dreamscape. I looked around to see if I can see the Tantabus. I didn't.
“Tantabus!” I yelled out. I galloped in a random direction. “Tantabus!!”
I continued going, calling out to find the Tantabus. I passed door after door until out of the corner of my eye I saw something. I headed over and saw a door that I have never seen before. It had a purplish background with what looked like stars coming in and out of it. The handle looked like a plant vine wrap around itself. I stared at it before shaking my head and stepping through.
The place was both breathtaking and horrible. I was in a grove surrounded by plants, but they all looked dead. The moon hung high in the sky with no clouds in the sky, the moon, and stars that joined it was dim and shadowed.
In the center of the grove was a pool. The center of that was a small island that could fit one or two ponies. There facing away from me was the Tantabus.
I felt nervous at this, but I gathered my nerves and trotted over. I walked across the over to the small island. The Tantabus slowly turned to face me, the eyes looked hollow than before.
“Oh, you have returned.” the Tantabus said in a monotone voice. “Let me guess, you came here to unmake me and the remake me so you can keep torturing yourself?”
The Tantabus’s eye bore into me when she said that, which made me wince a bit.
"No, I'm not,” I said. The Tantabus raised an eyebrow.
“Oh, so you're going to keep me like this, a thing that just exists and-”
“No, allow me to explain my part.” I interrupted. The Tantabus turned to face me, I didn't realize that all of the colour was sucked out of the Tantabus. I felt another pang of sadness at this.
“I came here, to I guess is your dream, to say that I'm sorry. What I said before was harsh and unjustifiable.” I began to explain. “I was looking at this at a more selfish point of view, I thought I was protecting my subjects from myself, I thought I was doing the right thing, I-”
I saw the Tantabus started to frown at me, I flattened my ears and started to look for the words that I thought of prior to coming here. But they were gone, I sighed and hung my head. By the Makers why is this so hard!
“Look, if you're here to give me a half-baked apology then you can stop right there and-”
“I was scared,” I again interrupted the Tantabus. “I was scared to face anypony for what I have done, that they would judge me for my actions.”
I chuckled softly, “Listen to me, I’m the biggest hypocrite there was,” I looked at the Tantabus. “You must hate me for what I have said, I understand that but I thought hard about this and…”
Even though the colour didn’t change, the Tantabus seemed to be interested in what I’m going to say. I took a deep shaky breath.
“When I… made you, I did it so make sure that I would never turn back into Nightmare moon. I gave you the name Tantabus.” I saw the Tantabus’s ears flattened. “But… the Tantabus I made didn’t have any feelings, wasn’t able to think, it didn’t even talk at all.”
“What are you saying?” the Tantabus asked. I closed my eyes, I listened to the surrounding area. I hear the wind blowing which made the grass sway if it wasn’t for everything dead this place would have been beautiful.
“Tanta- no, no that’s not right anymore,” I said. I looked at the small being in front of me. The look of a fillies curiosity was written on… her face. “Dreamweaver, that would be your name.”
Dreamweaver’s drew shot up as her body wobbled a bit. She stared at me with wide-eyed sounder, and confusion.
“You… Are you giving me a name? Why? I have always be called Tantabus.” she asked.
“Because you're your own being now, and I wanted to give you something that you can have for your new life,” I told her her. She tilted her head a bit as she stared at me.
“What do you mean mo-” I stopped her with a hoof.
“Don't call me that name, after what I put you through I don't deserve to be called that or fit to be in that role.”
Dreamweaver gaze lost focus as a confused look was on her. “So… what do you mean by new life?”
“What does it sound like, you are your being so,” I lit my horn and made a door appeared beside her. She looked at it then back at me as I gave her a soft smile. “You're free to do what your heart desires.”
I turned to head on out of this dream, I wonder if it’s her dream or something else?
“Wait!” I heard her said. I turned my head towards her. “What are you going to do?”
I paused as I thought about it. “I’m going to seek out help, I’m told that doing this sort of thing, torturing myself isn’t healthy for oneself's mind and body, I just came here to let you go.”
“But-” I heard her start but I shook my head.
“I want to make things right, and this is one such step.” I looked at the exit. I walked out and used my magic to close the door. When I heard the click I let what just happened sink in, I stumbled a bit as I caught my breath. This… this was the right thing to do? Right?
I opened my eyes to see the ceiling of my room. I blinked a few time to get the sleep out of my eyes, how long was I out for? I sat up in my bed and heard a knock on my door.
“Luna? Sister, it's me, you awake?” Tia asked me through the door.
“Yes… I’m awake.” I replied. The door opened and Tia walked in, she smiled at me.
“Well, did you talk to…” she stopped as she as if she was trying to find the word.
“Her, and yes I did,” I answered her.
“So it’s a her, who are you sure?”
“Her voice and the body she made resembles that of a mare,” I looked down at my sheets and thought back on what has happened. “She free now, she can do whatever she wants now.”
“You think she would cause trouble?” Tia asked. I slowly shook my head.
“I don’t think she would cause trouble, she has already been into other dreams and yet everything is fine.” I stared at the sheets and frowned. “Tia did… did I do the right thing? On letting her go?”
“What do you mean?” she asked me. I hunched over and started to shake. Tears again flowed down my face.
“Then why do I still feel hollow inside?” I sobbed. I felt Tia pull me into a hug and I cried into her fur.
“You're feeling what every mother goes through, to be seeing their child go.”