During one summer day, Celestia is asked to watch after her sister, while their mother is gone for certain duties. Celestia thinks, this task won't be diffcult at all, but she is completeley wrong. Especially because she loses her sister within the first few hours.
Luna is walking into the Everfree Forest and bumps into a dark mare. This mare, Nightmare Moon, is searching for a host and she definitley had not looked for a cub. But because filly Luna does not want to leave her alone, "Moonie" has to play babysitter within the Everfree Forest.
There are a few typos here and there. And is it me or there's something wrong with your quotation mark?
Interesting story looking forward for more chapters.
Critic: check
Praise: check
Question: sadly none.
A few mistakes, but it's a funny and interesting story.
sigh , this was back when negativefox's art was good......
5995638
I am from Germany, therefor my programm is typed like it is from germany.
That Ice Age reference
I remember a scene like this from Ice Age.
5998515
Yup. I accidently placed that in there. But I guess, no one minds. :)
Go Moonie
its from the movie spirit when he was young
6009983
Bull's eye!
Most of the grammar errors are small and were easily ignored.
This however
Is supposed to be 'teeth' and is reoccurring.
Anyways, I'm enjoying the adorable Luna/Nightmare interactions so keep up the good work
6032696
Oh, uupps. Then i somehow keep remembering this word wrong.
What a great little story, it was sweet and fun.
Nice ending for a good story, well done
Awe. I wanted to see her take Luna as her host. It would have been nice to see Nightmare moon recognize this tiny little filly as her mistress.
6047761
I guess, Nightmare Moon would have waited longer. And also, if she had baby Luna as her host, the sweet interactions between them would be gone.
6047811 It's like killing vampires the rules are whatever you make them or their interactions in this case.
6047875
Yup, that is true.
I forgot to place Track on this story, so I spent the last few hours reading it.
It really was a nice story
6197628
Thank you very much. I am glad, you liked this small comedy.
5998125 You are from Germany too. Cool.
6360344
Yeah, I am.
Overall, I enjoyed it. Still, grammatical errors abound around here, and that odd thing with quotations made it hard to identify when someone was speaking sometimes when I was absorbed in the story.
One of those diamonds in the rough that could shine even brighter with another polish. Now, onto the sequel!
6380579
Yes, you can thank german Libre Office for that. I should fix this quotationmark problem.
This looks like a great story, but for gods sake PLEASE use spell and grammar check!
6495345
I am sorry. My grammar programm is installed for my native language which is not english.
Spirit.
Uugh...such a good story but terrible grammar!
Dawww! I didn't know Moony could be nice! :D
Besides things like "it she they them and he" your doing a really great job
Spirit!
Interesting. I also like this fanfic. It's not about Celestia too much and Nightmare is not being blamed or defeated so I'm good.
What did that last part mean?
Man! The premise of this story looks adorable, but I just can't! Oh. You're not from America. Now that I know that, I will be a lot more forgiving with the errors, as the story still makes sense.