• Member Since 4th May, 2015
  • offline last seen Feb 5th, 2017

EbonyDanger


That one fan of MLP, who makes her plot way darker and complexer then intended. And the person, who roleplays more then she writes fanfiction. *ON A WRITING HIATUS FOR NOW*

Sequels1

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Source

During one summer day, Celestia is asked to watch after her sister, while their mother is gone for certain duties. Celestia thinks, this task won't be diffcult at all, but she is completeley wrong. Especially because she loses her sister within the first few hours.
Luna is walking into the Everfree Forest and bumps into a dark mare. This mare, Nightmare Moon, is searching for a host and she definitley had not looked for a cub. But because filly Luna does not want to leave her alone, "Moonie" has to play babysitter within the Everfree Forest.

Chapters (5)
Comments ( 33 )

There are a few typos here and there. And is it me or there's something wrong with your quotation mark?
Interesting story looking forward for more chapters.
Critic: check
Praise: check
Question: sadly none.

A few mistakes, but it's a funny and interesting story.

sigh , this was back when negativefox's art was good......

5995638
I am from Germany, therefor my programm is typed like it is from germany.

The darkblue mane flew higher and higher and dropped the Moon Princess on a branch. Luna chuckled and rolled on her back. „You look so tiny from here, Moony“, she said.
Nightmare Moon looked up. „Oh, you consider this as funny? Well, how about that?“ It was now her long tail, that picked Luna up and sat her on an even higher branch. „Up there, you will end as a snack for a dragon.“
Luna did not really seem to bother. She just laid on her branch and smiled down at Nightmare Moon. The dark mare looked away. „I've got to admit, you are actually a brave cub“, she said slowly. Nightmare sighted.

That Ice Age reference

I remember a scene like this from Ice Age.

5998515
Yup. I accidently placed that in there. But I guess, no one minds. :)

its from the movie spirit when he was young

Most of the grammar errors are small and were easily ignored.

This however

Theet

Is supposed to be 'teeth' and is reoccurring.

Anyways, I'm enjoying the adorable Luna/Nightmare interactions so keep up the good work :twilightsmile:

6032696
Oh, uupps. Then i somehow keep remembering this word wrong.

What a great little story, it was sweet and fun.
Nice ending for a good story, well done:twilightsmile:

Awe. I wanted to see her take Luna as her host. It would have been nice to see Nightmare moon recognize this tiny little filly as her mistress.

6047761
I guess, Nightmare Moon would have waited longer. And also, if she had baby Luna as her host, the sweet interactions between them would be gone.

6047811 It's like killing vampires the rules are whatever you make them or their interactions in this case.

I forgot to place Track on this story, so I spent the last few hours reading it.
It really was a nice story :twilightsmile:

6197628
Thank you very much. I am glad, you liked this small comedy.

Overall, I enjoyed it. Still, grammatical errors abound around here, and that odd thing with quotations made it hard to identify when someone was speaking sometimes when I was absorbed in the story.

One of those diamonds in the rough that could shine even brighter with another polish. Now, onto the sequel!

6380579
Yes, you can thank german Libre Office for that. I should fix this quotationmark problem.

This looks like a great story, but for gods sake PLEASE use spell and grammar check!

6495345
I am sorry. My grammar programm is installed for my native language which is not english.

Uugh...such a good story but terrible grammar!

Dawww! I didn't know Moony could be nice! :D

Besides things like "it she they them and he" your doing a really great job:twilightsmile:

Interesting. I also like this fanfic. It's not about Celestia too much and Nightmare is not being blamed or defeated so I'm good.

Another growl could be heard right behind them. Startled Nightmare Moon whirled around. Two big, yellow eyes stared at them. Slowly the giantic lizard creeped out of the shadows. It opened its maw and roared. And as it did so, a big pair of wings opened. Nightmare panted in shock. By the crime that born me! They stared straight at a fully-grown dragon.

What did that last part mean?

Man! The premise of this story looks adorable, but I just can't! Oh. You're not from America. Now that I know that, I will be a lot more forgiving with the errors, as the story still makes sense.

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