• Member Since 14th Jul, 2012
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Nothing special here, move along, nothing to see, just ignore the lump under the sheet and the red stuff...


Princess Luna ordered the Tantabus to torture her dreams every night so that she would never consider returning to the dark path she once trod as Nightmare Moon.

Luna should have remembered just how difficult it was for her to obey rules before she used her own essence to create what was, in effect, a smaller, more headstrong version of herself.

The Tantabus is determined to follow the true purpose of her command, no matter the consequences, large or small.

Or very, very small.

Now with a reading by ABagOfVicodin (who is open for fanfic reading commissions)
Done to go with the episode Do Princesses Dream of Magic Sheep?

Editors: Tek, Peter, Hilltopper2, Winston, Monarch Dodora

Now on Equestria Daily

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 110 )

First comment is staked out for the author (as usual). The Robert Frost poem translation is courtesy of Hilltopper2, during the editing process. (I can't poet worth a hoot.) I used 'thelytoky' (you'll know it when you see it) as the closest word I could get to the process. Since this fandom has more degrees than a meat thermometer, I expect a biology PhD to correct me at any moment.

As much as I would like to write a sequel in which Luna explains to a newspaper reporter just why she's four months pregnant *now* and wasn't pregnant last week, or tries to explain to Cadence just exactly why she knows the exact date and hour of their new foal's conception, I'm probably not going to.

For those of you who are interested in an alternate explanation of where little alicorns come from, check out My Niece, The Star, where Princess Cadence explains the facts of alicorn life to Princess Twilight Sparkle.

Also, a review by Present Perfect

Interesting take on things. :twilightsmile:

Fascinating. I've always loved the idea of the Tantabus as a poorly programmed AI (arcane intelligence in this case) that is only trying to fulfill its directive to the best of its abilities. This runs with that and makes it so much more, turning it into a loving child with a woefully warped upbringing. And that finale brings together pieces I never expected into a glorious whole. Great work, Georg. A shame we won't see more of this worldline. That press conference would probably be hilarious.

Going to recommend you drop the sad tag here. Drama is perfect.

This was amazing. I loved the way the Tantabus figured out how to prevent Luna from ever becoming NMM ever again: give her an alicorn daughter. Now she has to be a good mother, and eventually grandmother, and cannot fall into loneliness and depression when she is the Matriarch of a family of ponies.

Is her foal going to be a clone of Luna since there was no other genetic donor?

It will be so weird once the Tantabus grows up, and regains her memory.

Woah. Unexpected, yet oh so logical and fitting. It all makes sense in a way the show would never do, making this a prime example of what fanfic can do for us. :yay:

So, have you planned out a name for the Daughter of the Night yet? :pinkiesmile:

"Do your worst."

*Turns itself into the illegitimate, strangely-accelerated, and remotely-conceived magical lesbimare spawn of Luna and her married niece*

PROBLEM SOLVED. And an A for lateral thinking. :pinkiecrazy:

6722554 I don't think that would be a problem, why? Magic.

Well, that was unexpected...

Well, that's one way to prevent Luna from going psycho... :rainbowderp:

Watching the episode, I felt bad for the Tantabus, so this made me happier. And I learned a new word! Thanks, Georg! :twilightsmile:

...I legit thought this was going to lead to a, "The Tantabus decides to KILL Luna because, after all, she can't become Nightmare Moon again if she's dead" situation. Props on completely subverting my expectations like that. And putting an interesting spin on the events of the episode.

This isn't sad. This is the very destruction of despair.

staying with an elder as they slipped away from mortal ken.

Dude. Mind blown.

6722407 I've got a *lot* of irons in the fire. And that fire isn't very warm in the first place :pinkiehappy:
6722554 Yes, the process listed creates either an exact clone or a near-clone of the mother.
6722810 Tanty, of course :twilightsmile:
6722866 Technically, a genetic duplicate of Luna. I predict many times in the future where Luna asks Celestia, "I wasn't like that, was I? Really?"
6723142 You've obviously never had kids :derpyderp2:
6723736 I have an oddly spinning mind, it appears.

And when the Tantabus grows up and remembers its objective, it will make its primary goal "fall in love, get married, and have a ton of foals for Luna to dote on, so that she will never become NMM again because she has be be a good role model for her grandchildren."

I knew an answer existed, for what is a question without one?

It is a thorn.

She vaulted off the bed and shot into the bathroom, where she curled around the porcelain fixture and proceeded to vomit until she thought for absolute certain that every single item of food she had ever eaten in her life had been regurgitated into the disgusting bowl.

I know that feel. The worst is once it gets gritty and you can't be certain it's not actually from beyond the stomach...

Well this has been a lovely ride down logical thought and alternate imagining. A+

Though what exactly did the Tantabus do in Cadence's dream anyway? Also, how did it get to Cadence?


Well take them all out for this iron! I want to read stories in here! ALL THE STORIES

This wasn't sad at all! Great fic.:yay:

Now I need more of this glorious soon to be Woona. I really hope you will write about little Tanty growing up. . .

Who am I trying to fool.

Comment posted by SilverAlchemist deleted Dec 12th, 2015

This story was beautiful and amazing...and that ending was hilarious!

Any chance of a sequel involving the baby Tanty?

I luxuriated in the pure ecstasy of the moment

those words


I wonder what would have happened may Luna have asked Tantabus instead to turn dreams into the Perfect System



Well, that explains the cover image...

Another great story.

I find it ironic that you post a story about immaculate conception two weeks before christmas.

It only seems confusing to me.

Beautiful story. A wonderful companion to one of the best episodes of Season 5. :raritystarry:

6720979 I'm sorry I never understood how the whole pregnancy thing went on.

The only thing I didn't like about the story is its cover image, as it spoils the main twist of the fic.

Great story!

I really want to see Luna explaining this to Tia and Tia's reaction.

I like how the Tantabus seemed to want to ship TwiLuna for a moment as a solution, but passed it up for what it considered a sure thing.
"Twilight Sparkle is an alicorn, and as such will survive, but immortality is not a certain key to love, and only love can keep away the darkness"

Then TwiLestia occurs and Twilight becomes the "favorite aunt" that will spoil her horribly.

I can't... words... What...
Words fail to express how I feel about that...

I truly enjoyed this little story. I know this story is tagged sad and drama, but The ending is a perfect set up for a potential comedic sequel.


Or it will be an alicorn, and therefore have a completed objective...

Huh, that was... different from what I was expecting. Never expected anyone to assign that much motive and reasons for the Tantabus, but great job on that, so many details. If this fic had just ended where the episode did, with Luna at peace and the Tantabus either happy too or fading away, that would be one thing, but that ending, um. Its not bad, just strange. Equestria is sure going to have a lot of new princesses in the next few years.

I reviewed this story!

My review can be found here.


Though what exactly did the Tantabus do in Cadence's dream anyway? Also, how did it get to Cadence?

It gave her a baby, too.

Tantabus, Do Your Worst

She did. I hope for a sequel.

Why do I now want to read a story about Luna snuggling baby Tantabus?

6727755 On reexamination of that particular passage, yes, she also got the idea for it there, and performed a trial run. Proof of concept. Still doesn't explain how she got there since she never appeared in the other set of dreams.

The forest is so finely dressed/but I have promise in my breast/and furlongs yet before I rest.

That sneaky Frost reference. :twilightsmile:

And that plot twist! :rainbowlaugh:

6728361 I was going to have a Cadence dream visit earlier, but it took away from the buildup and distracted from the main point pre-Ponyville.
6728557 As I said before, my pre-readers/editors are amazingly talented individuals and suggest wonderful things like this. All I have to do is be humble enough to pass them along.
6728286 Not to mention the rest of the Alicorn Sisterhood spoiling her. With the accelerated egg-boost that she got, Little Tanty will be born about 3-4 months before Cadence gives birth.
6727835 I may consider it.
6727755 Technically Shining Armor is going to give Cadence a baby. Tanty just turned on all of the hormones, gave her ovaries a boost, and put Cadence in the correct state of mind during a little dream visit. The rest is left to nature, and the natural result of an ovulating alicorn in the same bed with the Prince of Love (and fertility).
6726131 Thanks TD!
6726098 I don't remember seeing this picture, but it's very appropriate.
6725704 After just having finished The Traveling Tutor and the Royal Exam and the subsequent presentation of Princess Clover, I think I'm good on baby fics for a little while. Oh, wait. I've got one more that will be out sometime (it's about 90% written, leaving only about 90% of the work needing to be done):
The Elements of Maternity
True friends do everything together, but the night after Princess Twilight’s coronation, the bearers of the Elements of Harmony decided one of those things would be to go out clubbing.

It was a particularly bad idea.

Eleven months later, they find themselves doing yet another thing together that even the best of friends should avoid doing together.

Delivering foals.

6724520 Technically it's not an immaculate conception, because 'immaculate' is 'Free from sin' and if anything, Luna created the Tantabus as punishment for her perceived sins. As for the concept of 'virgin birth,' we asked Celestia about that, and all she could do was laugh, so... no.
6724762 6724379 I had a choice. I went for Clickbait. I'm evil that way. I blame Bad Horse for my training.
6724697 Well, when an alicorn and a stallion love each other very much, and spend the night out under the stars...
6724318 Luna is a very passionate individual, and that which she creates will be similar.
6724099 It was playing with Cadence's hormonal controls and something just went off by accident. Honest.
6724069 Some poor, poor stallion in the future.
Sucker: So, how many children do you want, Tanty?
Tanty: As many as there are stars in the sky.
Sucker: (gulp)

6728739 obviously I meant the Tantibus you big troll. Kek.

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