Hitch Your Wagon to a Star
The bar was dingy, dirty, noisy, crowded with drunk students from the university and – perhaps most perplexingly – run by a one-eyed griffon who polished his glasses with saliva and an oily rag.
It was still the most comfortable setting that Rainbow Dash had been in all night.
She and Daring Do sat at a corner booth, munching on bread from her bustline, and sipping pints of beer and cider. The latter held no candle to Sweet Apple Cider, but it was better than nothing, at least.
"You likin' it here?" Daring Do called, after minutes of silent eating and drinking.
Rainbow swallowed a bite, washed it down with a swig of cider, and sighed. "By contrast with the egghead gala? Totally. On its own? Nuh-uh. Why would anypony ever wanna drink here, huh?"
"Genji doesn't check IDs. I mean, just try and tell me those chuckleheads are of age."
Daring Do jerked her hoof toward the students, who were pouring beer down a funnel, and into a portly stallion's mouth.
"Used to hang out here all the time when I went to U of F," Daring Do added, looking into her beer. "Lots of memories tied up in this place – some of 'em fuzzier than others. Parties, keggers, ragers... heck, Genji took my virginity on this very table."
Rainbow scoffed. "You're making that up."
"Am I, though?" Daring Do batted her eyelashes coyly.
"Yeah. You are." Rainbow took another sip of cider. "No way you started college a virgin."
"You got me, Dash." Daring Do hooked her hoof around her mug, and held it up for a toast. "Here's to tall tales, shameless lies, and big fish stories."
Rainbow clinked her glass against the mug.
"Somethin' I don't get," Rainbow said, when she'd finished her sip. "Why'd you wanna go to that thing in the first place, if you knew it wasn't gonna go well?"
"Besides the free food?" Daring Do shrugged. "Like I said, I thought Pfeffernusse sent the invitation. Thought it was an olive branch."
Rainbow looked at her closely. "Is that the only reason?"
"...When all's said and done, I really like the way my life's gone. If I made it sound like I didn't, then I'm sorry. But, all the same, there are times when I miss academia."
Daring Do sipped her beer again, and sighed.
"Back in college, I thought that, by now, I'd be presenting alongside Pfeffernusse at events like that one. I know they're dumb – big, pedantic, scholarly circle-jerks – but that was the life I wanted."
Daring Do was quiet for a moment. Then she smiled wanly at Rainbow Dash.
"It was nice to pretend, for a little while, that I was still a part of that world."
Rainbow Dash reached down the front of her gown, and plucked out a breadstick, which she offered wordlessly to Daring Do. The other mare accepted it, with a wink, and nibbled on the tip.
"I'm glad you were there with me, you know," she added. "Maybe Princess Twilight would've turned more heads, taken the heat off me – and my publisher's always a safe bet – but neither of them are really what I'd call a... a friend. I think that's what I needed, more than anything, tonight. Somepony I could count on for support, when things went south."
Warmth spread in Rainbow's chest, and she couldn't stop herself from smiling. "What if I'd said no?"
"With Princess Twilight and my publisher out of the running, it was either you, or Quibble Pants." Daring Do bit her breadstick in half and shrugged. "I don't have many friends."
Rainbow smirked. "You probably made the right call."
The door at the other end of the bar opened, then. A stallion with a plaid kerchief around his neck stepped inside, looking woefully out of place among the partying college students. He glanced around, before spotting the two pegasi at the corner booth, and made his way over.
Rainbow nodded in his direction. "Hey, DD. We got company."
Daring Do turned in her seat, just in time to greet Ascot.
"Uh... hi," he said awkwardly. "Dr. Pfeffernusse said I might find you here – that it's an old haunt of yours. I've never been, myself. Don't, um, don't think I'll ever come back after tonight."
"Yeah, this place sucks," Rainbow said. "There's this other thing going on at the university, though – might be more to your taste."
Ascot sighed. "I know, I know – you probably don't want to see anypony from back there right now. But I owe you an apology – both of you, I think – so just... hear me out, okay?"
He looked pleadingly at Daring Do.
She kept him waiting for a long, slow moment, before nodding once.
Ascot bowed his head.
"...I was responsible for sending out the invites to tonight's reception. I was pulling old mailing lists, and I saw your name on one of them, and I thought... y'know... you're an alum, you were in the department. You had a right to be there, even if the faculty hate Daring Do."
Daring Do raised an eyebrow at that.
Ascot cringed. "I mean – whatever they think, it doesn't matter. Everypony in my cohort reads your books. They're the whole reason I wanted to be an archaeologist in the first place. I didn't actually expect you to show up – and I'm sorry for how everything went for you – but getting the chance to meet you, talk to you... it meant a lot to me."
He paused, waiting for a response. And, again, Daring Do let him wait.
Then she scooted over on the corner booth, and patted the spot beside herself.
Ascot, blushing and grinning, took the invitation immediately. "Thanks."
"Least I could do," Daring Do muttered. "If and when Pfeffernusse finds out that you were behind the invitation—"
"Oh, he knows. I came clean right after you left. He's... not happy with me right now." Ascot drummed his hooves on the tabletop, and sniffed. "Let him stew in it."
Rainbow laughed. "Alright, kid. You're officially okay in my book."
Daring Do slid her glass toward Ascot, and leaned her weight onto the table. "So, Ascot... tell me somethin'. Summer break's coming up, isn't it? When does yours start?"
"Uh... end of the month. Why?" Ascot took a sip of beer, wincing at the taste. "Ugh, that's revolting."
"Not a drinker? No problem." Daring Do smirked. "I'm gonna be going on an expedition soon – field research for my next book. I was thinking, if you're free, and that cute girlfriend of yours doesn't mind goin' without you for a little while... maybe you'd like to come along."
Ascot's eyes widened. "I... you... you're inviting me on an expedition? I get to work with the author of Daring Do?"
"Better plug them ears, Dash," Daring Do chuckled.
Rainbow did just that, though her hooves were nowhere near enough to block out Ascot's giddy squeal.
Yeah, I think I'll work on cuttin' that out from now on.
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That was a nicely done little story. Could have been in an episode, were it not for the adult humor.
and here i though bronies would know better than to portray nerds as shrill basement-dwellers
8725761 ...
Two characters are described as being shrill in this story. One has an active social and professional life, and is openly affectionate with his girlfriend. The other is Rainbow Dash. Neither character fits the "basement-dweller" stereotype.
8725810 ...There aren't enough
s in the world for you, my dude.
8725835 I'd love for you to explain what that has to do with my story.
ANYWAY, I thought this was a nice little slice of life. You should probably get a new editor, though, if that author's note is anything to go by.
Hm.
It's hard to call this a comedy. Rainbow Dash's perpetual unfamiliarity and exasperation with the realm of academia is amusing, to be sure, but it's the pleasant undercurrent of comic relief to the drama surrounding Daring Do that dominates the focus of the story.
But that drama is a heartwarming tale par excellence of friendship in the face of social adversity and faded dreams, in line with and no less strong than your previous works in that vein.
A story to be proud of, even if hitting familiar notes wasn't quite the aim.
Like, actually though, this is really good. A little on the lighter side for humor, but man, that's an amazing thing you got here. I honestly loved it.
8729151 enjoy the pancakes
Not what I'd call a comedy per se, but still a fantastic character study and narrative arc. Everything ties together, everything works, and the revelations mean that the second read is nothing like the first. Thank you for this, and best of luck in the judging.
Can confirm: This story is good (so stop doubting yourself already)!
Once again you have crafted a well thought-out and emotional character drama... peddled to us as a comedy!
Seriously though, your habit of doing that isn't a bad thing. My favourite comedies are the ones that aren't afraid to have a serious character driven story as well. And although this story seemed more focused on the story than the comedy, there were still many moments that made me laugh (Rainbow dropping a bread roll out of her sleeve in the middle of her dramatic speech in particular stands out).
I'm also pretty sure I caught all the references to the greater Posh-verse. Overall an enjoyable story!
This gave me some good chuckles. I loved the interactions between Rainbow and Daring. I’d read a whole series of this.
I don't remember how I came across this story, but I really liked it. The interactions between Rainbow and Daring were fantastic. Not sure if Rainbow would have fangasmed so much given her numerous interactions with Daring, but it was cute, and I presume it was set before certain episodes in the show.
Good job, Posh!
8754425 It's set post-Con episode, at least.
I see your point, but then again, if I came home to find my idol sprawled out on my bed...
Just saying, Criss Angel would probably need new eardrums.
8754673
Funnily enough, DWK did a video on the episode I had in mind... the Somnabula episode with Daring Do. That's the one that made me question whether Rainbow Dash would have fangasmed so hard, if the story was set after that. After all, Rainbow Dash is Daring Do's best friend in that particular episode.
Still, it doesn't matter. The cuteness of it all excuses everything! :)
Yeah, okay, the story's great and all, Posh, but seriously. Seriously. You need to explain how Capper isn't a racist stereotype. Like, that's really important shit.
8923388
I'm just gonna leave this here. And walk away. LEAVING THIS HERE AND WALKING AWAAAYYY LA LA LAAAAAA
i.pinimg.com/originals/eb/38/7d/eb387dfc31d83d606e3233d0481cdf75.jpg
Not quite as wacky as the title suggests, but I think you made a good statement. "Want some" are two of the funniest words I've ever seen put together. :D
But is it really a bustline if you don't have a bust? <.<
This was a really fun story to read! Thanks for sharing :)
11576914 You’re welcome. I will mail you a watercress sandwich out of gratitude.