• Member Since 3rd Aug, 2014
  • offline last seen September 28th

deadpansnarker


Aim higher.

E

Pinkie discovers to her surprise and joy that the Cakes have named a new product after her, but Rainbow doesn't think it'll sell. Who's right? After numerous misadventures, we might just be able to find out.

Anyone who gets diabetes from reading this, I take no responsibility whatsoever.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 14 )

I only found one little mistake.

The Cake twins are Pound and Pumpkin Cake. Not Pound and Pudding Cake

Rainbow wasn't in charecter

8468240

"Relax, Pinkie..." Rainbow chuckled, about to unseal the bag and see what treats she'd managed to swipe. "I only want a few of your muffins, and I'll pay you back for them doubly tomorrow. I haven't had a bite to eat all day, and my belly is rumbling something fierce. You don't want me to die of starvation, do you? Now, let's see what we have here..."

I doubt reinbow would say that

"Here, you can have mine. I'm happy that your face is all over a product ninety nine percent of Ponyville seems to love, Pinkie. You deserve it, for all the laughter you've bought into their lives. But us one percenters I'm afraid are never going to be converted, and I'm still starving. I'll see you around, sometime..." were her final words, before she flew straight to Hayburger for a far more satisfying culinary experience.

Or that

8468261
Well, I can imagine her saying them based on things she's said in the past, but you're entitled to disagree. Thanks for reading, anyway. :twistnerd:

I think autocorrect changed the Everfree Forest to the Evergreen Forest.

I would not agree that that the characters are out of character however what I could say is that the dialogue which I like does not sound quite like you would have in the show. The narration sounds like a fun childrens book but the dialogue is for some reason making me think more of a play that you would see in a theater particularly comedic plays. To me it has that sort of word choice and rhythm that I expect from a play and to me it reads more that way than most of what you see on this site or from the show itself.

I enjoyed this style but that could be what is throwing somebody off. The dialogue is not I would expect from the show but it fits the characters personalities especially in a story that is not in the direct style of the show.

Shouldn't that be "MAXIMUM (or LIMIT) TWO PER CUSTOMER DUE TO DEMAND" instead of MINIMUM?

8542261
Okay, edited. Thanks a lot dude. :scootangel:

* sweet *

:pinkiehappy::rainbowlaugh:

I just had an aneurysm.
Good job.

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