43 Climax
We arrived at noon in Ponyville. Since we all were hungry, we decided to visit 'the Dancing Butterfly' together for lunch.
It felt good to walk the streets without everypony staring at me, I was surprised how much Ponyville already felt like home to me.
We sat down on a table at the restaurant, the library in view of us. We all ordered our lunch and enjoyed fruit juice in the sun.
"Do you know anything about Thunderlane?", I asked out of the blue. "I noticed he came back looking for you after you and Luna were gone."
"I'm sure he is a really nice guy.", Applejack started. "He probably just hadn't thought about how I would feel as he left with Rarity to comfort her. Now, I'm glad he did or else I wouldn't have this incredible marefriend now." She smiled.
"I noticed Rarity looked at him quite interested the rest of the evening.", Twilight told us. "But I think she held back because he was your date. You should tell her soon you haven't any interest in him."
"Will do."
Our orders arrived and we ate a while in silence.
"Will you tell your family right away about Luna?", I finally asked.
"Of course, I won't lie about yesterday. And in addition, I'm very proud to have such a beautiful marefriend. I think it could get quite interesting when she meets my family for the first time, I can't predict Granny's behavior about her."
"I'm sure it will be fine. Luna will be able to handle some weirdness.", I told her. "Don't forget, she is more than fifty times older than you."
"Wow, I never have thought about it in this way. I'm dating somepony who is way, way older than Granny... but is surprisingly hot."
"Well, since Luna and Celestia seem to have an enormous lifespan we can't really compare them to Granny.", I explained. "Maybe they are still in their early years."
"I wouldn't dare to ask them about their maximum lifespan.", Twilight admitted.
"Yeah, not really a happy conversation topic."
...
Twilight brought our suitcase inside while I went to my new lab behind the library. I was happy to see the carpenter had brought the furniture I had ordered. A bunch of shelves, chairs, and tables stood in the first room, ready to be distributed to the lab rooms. He had promised to get me some glass flasks and beakers as well but they were not present yet.
...
I had already moved the shelves to their new spots when Twilight entered. "Wow, it starts to look professional in here."
"Glad you're here, honey.", I greeted her. "I need your magic to move the large tables. Once we finished moving all the furniture, it would be great if you could bring the generator from your basement here."
"Sure, my love."
...
It took about two hours before everything was like I wanted it to be. Happy about how everything looked now, we left for the library.
Once I entered, I was greeted with a big unison "Surprise!". It made me jump and I looked around in panic. There were a huge number of ponies facing me with a nice warm smile, some of them I knew by name, most of them I saw before. Right in front of me stood Pinkie Pie, having the biggest smile of all of them.
"You didn't think I forgot about your party, cuddle buddy.", she said and drew me into a firm hug.
Once again there was this sent of sweets and cinnamon as she ignored all rules of personal space.
"Thanks so much Pinkie and everypony who came here.", I told the crowd while I tried to get Pinkie off me, but she held on tight. "I'm so happy that this whole town was so nice and welcoming towards me, thanks a lot."
The ponies cheered and music started to play from somewhere while all of them mingled.
"You should let go now Pinkie.", Twilight urged her.
"But we are cuddle buddies and it has been so long since I hugged her.", she complained.
"I told her we would be cuddle buddies when we made up after the hospital.", I explained. "She can have a few more minutes, it isn't unpleasant."
Pinkie hugged me even harder and purred like a kitten. Since these ponies weight so little I decided to ignore her for the moment and walked over to Lyra who was looking at me from across the room.
"Hi, Lyra. I saw you dance at the Gala, nice moves."
"Hey, Stella... and Pinkie. Thanks, but you are a pretty good dancer too. I still can't believe how much fun we had there, normally it is soooo boring there."
"I have furnished the laboratory this afternoon and most of the equipment is there too. If we are lucky we can start with our research in two or three days."
"I'm looking forward to it. I visit you the day after tomorrow so we can talk about specifics and you can show me the lab."
"That's a great idea, could you bring the two Indigo Nightshade books with you? We need to take a closer look at these."
"Sure thing."
I thanked her and walked to Rarity next since we had a few things to talk about.
"Pinkie what are you doing?", the white mare questioned.
"Cuddling. Do you want to join?"
"Pinkie, you shouldn't..."
"It's okay.", I interrupted. "I allowed it to her. Speaking of affection... I heard you took a liking in Thunderlane."
Her white cheeks showed some pink. "He is quite charming.", she admitted.
"Applejack already told you she isn't interested in him?"
"Yes, and that Princess Luna is her marefriend. At first, I thought she was joking. I have a date with Thunderlane tomorrow, I will know by then how well we complement each other."
"Already?", I asked surprised.
She moved uneasily before me. "After Applejack told me, I may have walked the street he is living in up and down until I meet him 'by chance' when he came back from weather duty.", she admitted with a shy smile.
"I like that you are taking charge and make things happen. I wish you all the best for your date tomorrow."
"Well, thank you.", she said smiling.
...
I had a really good time at the party and after Pinkie finally let go of me, she started a lot of fun games among the guests. But after a few hours, everypony was gone and the place was cleaned up.
"What do you think about going upstairs and trying out the things I bought?", I asked my marefriend and kissed her.
"With pleasure.", she answered grinning and I felt her growing arousal through our connection.
I picked her up and carried her upstairs kissing her multiple times on our way there.
We entered our room and I carefully laid her on her back in our bed. "You should cast the soundproof bubble now, Honey. I promise you, we will need it." I showed a lewd smile while I brought the brown paper bag to the lower end of the bed. She gulped and casted the spell while I stripped myself of all of my clothes.
I brought out the first item, a black silk blindfold. I came close to her and carefully put it on. I noticed her breathing speeding up and laid my ear on her body. Her heart was racing. I softly brushed along her cheek and kissed her. "Relax, Honey. I would never do anything you to hurt you and I will start nice and slow."
"Thank you, my Love."
I just held on to her until she had calmed down. I always loved the feeling of her fur against my naked body.
Once her breathing was nice and slow again, I reached inside the bag and brought out a flask filled with a golden massage oil.
"We will start with a nice massage to get you accustomed to the situation.", I told her. "I bought a high-class oil. The salespony told me it had a nice warming effect. Don't get startled, I'm pouring it now onto you."
I poured a reasonable amount onto the purple fur of her belly and used my hand and my stump to spread it all over her body and massage it into her skin. I got quite comfortable in using my stump for more and more things. Within seconds Twilight emitted happy humming sounds.
"This feels so nice.", she whispered. "My whole body feels warm."
I felt it on my hand as well, it felt like the sun on a warm summer day.
I poured some more on her belly and now used my own body against hers to spread it. I felt her warmth and the oil on my skin, it was an incredible feeling and soon we both started to moan.
"Love you..."
"Love you too, Twily."
We continued for many minutes to rub against each other and I kissed her while we moaned into each other's mouth.
With a final kiss, I separated from her. "Time to try the next thing.", I told her and searched through the bag. I found the brush I had searched for and got close to my lover's face again. "I made a false assumption about your body, the salespony explained it to me when she showed me the next item."
The brush had thick but soft hairs and a black smooth wood grip. I brushed it from her horn's base to the tip in a quick movement. Her whole body jerked upwards and she screamed out her lust. It hit me through our connection as well.
"She told me a unicorn's horn is quite sensitive to touch when the pony is in an aroused state. But I hadn't expected it to be this intense. Let's try a different approach."
I licked along the side of her horn, slowly towards its top.
"Sweet Celestia!", she shouted while her body shivered from waves of pleasure.
Her horn had a very smooth texture but I also felt the small grooves of her horn under my tongue. It tasted strange, like salt and mint, but it wasn't unpleasant. At the same time, my hand wandered down her body to caress her.
The next minutes were the most fulfilling experience we every had together.
...
I laid next to her and took of her blindfold.
"Well, what do you say? Did I buy something good?", I asked her.
"This night was so much more than I ever imagined. I have this wonderful marefriend who brought me pleasure beyond my wildest dreams. But next time I want to see you again, I love to see the joy on your face while we're doing it."
"Sure honey, anything you want." I kissed her and drew her into a loving hug.
----- End of book one -----
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7918399 awesome chapter my friend and I can't wait for book 2 of this story I'll be waiting my friend and keep me posted on the story thanks
I'm suprised, but now I remember there is a second one so there is still more. I go read the mature one now, since there is a little bit more to read probably.
7921287 yeah, the 'good stuff' is in the mature version
Ah, a true classic. Right up there with "Oh, dear, I happened to make too much (insert food here), you'd be doing me a huge favor if you had some."
And all versions of that. Though I rather expected Rarity to have gotten the information of when he left work from Rainbow...
7931740 could you be a bit more specific which part of the chapter you're talking about?
7931740 Just my one observation that only the scrolls get send to Celestia,
other things he spits fire on just burn
7933220 well, we can use magic to explain it both ways. Magic scrolls vs. enchanted dragon. We never got any explanation in the series. I don't think the show staff even thought about that. So the easier way would be to enchant Spike so any scroll he burns with "the seal" on it would be sent to her. This way they can buy there stuff from 'quills and sofas', put "the seal" on it and away with it. If the scrolls themselves are magic, maybe Celestia sends them to them... maybe that's the reason Spike carried them out of town hall in 'Griffon the Brush-off'.
I just choose what I liked more.
7933331 They both make sense...
8081453 Yeah, your right. Best outcome would be "thanks for this data, and now get lost and never make yourself seen again." But see is in 'discovery mode' where everything looks brighter.
8085678 That why I love her.
8086033 Hmm... that would have been interesting.
8086180 I HAD to write that
8088498 What I mean is that your romance is a little too fast and far too soon.
8088519 from the story short description: "There are stories with characters dance around each other and finding each other just at the end of the story... this is not one of them. The focus is on their relationship."
8088607 oh, I didn't see that.
8089628 but it is okay for you to point it out anyway, maybe I should have given the characters even more time to get together. On the other hand its more than 17.000 words before the first kiss happens, many stories have already ended on that word count
8090089 Really? huh, I didn't noticed.
I'm not suggesting redoing the story, That is a horrible experience I only wish upon my enemies.
However, if I may, I would like to give out some criticize, despite the fact that the story has practically just begun. If you condom such early judgment, I understand and wish for your forgiveness.
Let me start with the elephant in the room, Twilight and Stella needs more chemistry. They met not three or less days ago (I forget) and love each other because they find each other cute? Most likely mental science isn't within her current studies, but I'd think that any scientist would be worried that she would be more sexually attracted to a alien mare (side note: I'm sure Equestia has some interspecies love) than her own kind (even when it isn't her fetish). Also, I'm seeing little to no real or theoretical (or magical) science being said or done. Other than the apparently super artificial rip between worlds that are apparently safe to travel though. Although I did like the fact that they couldn't aim the thing accurately, never mind the fact they had no idea where it really is going, that is a nice touch. But, other than that, nothing but emotion; which is practically the main point of a romance novel, but with the love of two peoples that we all know are going to explore the science of the other it would really interesting what kind of discoveries they would uncover, and exceptions that they have to make for this love, no matter how unbelievable it is so far they understand it.
Aaaaannnnnnd.... That's it.... I mean, the pacing is a little quick, especially the romance, but even then most of it really isn't that bad.
I've read stories where you met the son of the main character only for him to die the very next chapter, and so far yours is far better than that.
And again, I'm sorry if giving this brief and far too soon review offence you, I feel though that this is the best way to voice my concerns of this otherwise potentially wonderful story that you have here.
8090635 Thanks for everything you wrote. In fact I did rewrite a bit of the story to give them more time, it was even more rushed before, so much I wasn't satisfied with it myself.
That is what I wrote back then:
Later:
I would do things different now. In book two is actually more science.
8090682 oh, wow, didn't see that coming.
You really didn't have to rewrite anything, my little review was just for future reference for your next stories.
But thank you anyways.
8092272 well, back then I wasn't satisfied with the chapter myself, so I rewrote it. I like it now how it is, so I can accept everyone has different options what is rushed and what isn't. I learned long ago I never can make everybody happy.
Thanks a lot for the feedback.
8092308 I'm glad I was able to help.
8133990 judging from the lates mlp episode... she won't
8160710 Indeed, she really didn't think this through
8492192
The means doesn't matter as much as the surrounding setting does. It defies all believability that this project wouldn't have a team of scientists and some form of security to prevent the unknown from accidently wiping out humanity. It just kinda goes against common sense.
Like, imagine it...
"We have a portal that can lead to pretty much literally anywhere. Even the center of a black hole. Instead of having a team of people, some who are off base and are there just to shut it off in an emergency, we're gonna leave the potential, and literal fate of our species in the hands of a single person. We also aren't going to psychologicaly screen very hard, because what are the chances that that person would take such a momentous chance into their hands and just dip on out into some other dimension without telling us with a tranque gun that in all probability should not work on anything on the other side, if they somehow do find a stable place. Oh, and we're not going to put automated systems in that alert any significant personnel when such a place is found, because what are the chances, am I right?"
Seems a bit silly in retrospect, maybe?
8492306
It must be real fun to take you to the movies ;-)
I used the argument of really really low chances of success to argument why most people lost interest after a year of nothing and a good chance of a lifetime of nothing.
I work in R&D and I DON'T won't to work on a boring project with a 90% chance you will see nothing what you hoped for in your whole work life. I prefer to use these 45 years somewhere else. (No, I am not allowed to tell you what I am working on)
I know you could tight up security even more, but I don't have a story that way.
It is hard to come up with a non-magic way to get to Equestria but I tried my best to explain everything.
But it is a bit frustrating to always hear everything getting picked apart.
In "Little Shockwaves", my main Charakter is in the middle of dying in a car accident, time slows down and he gets ripped out of this reality by a thing that could be the grim reaper. He gets dragged between different dimensions towards '?' maybe nirvana?
Suddenly "it" loses its grip on him and he tumbles towards on of those dimensions. "Welcome to Equestria"
This is a "magic" way of doing it. There are zero complaints for anyone, why? Because it is magic. Magic makes its own rules, so nobody can complain. Use science and everybody has an opinion on it, how to change it and why it can't work. Like everyone tries to give his opinion how Elon should build his Mars spaceship. These stories are all fiction, not an research abstract.
Damm it, I had promised myself not to react to these things anymore. Well okay... Starting now
8490297
I'm also rarely need to count more that to few hundreds but I know lots of big numbers up to googol :).
And the whole idea that Equestria so small that they count their population in thousands break my SoD like crazy. Yes, I can ignore this in the show itself because I understand that they have neither money nor time to draw sprawling megapolises but in fanfic? Sorry, I pass.
8493744
Well, you are like Twilight, I'm sure she looked up how the big numbers work, even if she doesn't need them.
8514791
Nope I expected nothing less
8537493
No mate.
I gave this a lot of slack for the premise of two scientists slowly falling in nerd love over mutual interests but finally decided it's not for me.Mostly on the premise of the instant love and the cop-out of the other person confessing 48 hours after you meet.
Things I gave a pass on:
1. Deciding to explore a different world with no backup or means of protection or care if she brings a world killing plague over in either direction. ("Harmful bacteria in the air scanner makes it ok to go in, then go back out into the general population?!")
2. A scientist working on portals coming into work witch a fuckton of gear. Not at all suspicious.
3. Falling in love with a different species after two days and not even talking about how unusual it is.
4. Humans are evil monsters/locust and ponies cannot possibly protect themselves. Humans will, naturally, invade at the drop of a hat. (It could be true but I don't see her checking or consulting the leadership of the world she established first contact with. Maybe ponies might have been interested in making new friends and can protect themselves from a single point invasion and earth might be more interested in trade eh?)
5. She decides to move to an entirely different world, where she is the only human, hogging the magic of friendship to herself, on the vague premise of "resources"
Oh and If an intern, essentially paid to watch the paint dry (and why the heck is the process not semi-automated with deviations passed along for a check?!) intensionally modified or hid my research data to steal the credit I'd fire them. Out of a cannon, into the sun. And I can guarantee that there's be four security guards there with me when I confronted them.
And if I'm wrong and she's a PHD scientist with the requisite focus to known exactly how the thing works, she literally has all she needs, with the frequency to go sell out to some other organisation or company if her current one really treats her like shit. NDA's be damned.
Also, century long research project with no off site backups? They deserve to have to start from scratch after one of their staff goes insane and wipes everything.
8537537
Wow, that's a lot stuff.
1. Deciding to explore a different world with no backup or means of protection or care if she brings a world killing plague over in either direction. ("Harmful bacteria in the air scanner makes it ok to go in, then go back out into the general population?!")
I had to ignore this point or there wouldn't be any story with Equestria were you can go back and I needed this option for some things.
2. A scientist working on portals coming into work witch a fuckton of gear. Not at all suspicious.
What? That not suspicious backpack?
3. Falling in love with a different species after two days and not even talking about how unusual it is.
She addressed it a bit ;-)
4. Humans are evil monsters/locust and ponies cannot possibly protect themselves. Humans will, naturally, invade at the drop of a hat. (It could be true but I don't see her checking or consulting the leadership of the world she established first contact with. Maybe ponies might have been interested in making new friends and can protect themselves from a single point invasion and earth might be more interested in trade eh?)
Human are 1000x more than ponies, with weapons of mass destruction and humans are dicks. Sorry for simplifying.
5. She decides to move to an entirely different world, where she is the only human, hogging the magic of friendship to herself, on the vague premise of "resources"
She hasn't really a ties to earth left and she has to decide on with side she wants to stay, since the portal will be gone.
Oh and If an intern, essentially paid to watch the paint dry (and why the heck is the process not semi-automated with deviations passed along for a check?!) intensionally modified or hid my research data to steal the credit I'd fire them. Out of a cannon, into the sun. And I can guarantee that there's be four security guards there with me when I confronted them.
I work in R&D myself and I can't tell you where... if my boss would visit me with security everytime data looks fishy...
And if I'm wrong and she's a PHD scientist with the requisite focus to known exactly how the thing works, she literally has all she needs, with the frequency to go sell out to some other organisation or company if her current one really treats her like shit. NDA's be damned.
She would like to work somewhere else, but that doesn't mean it would be that easy for her or she could switch easily without thing happening before.
Also, century long research project with no off site backups? They deserve to have to start from scratch after one of their staff goes insane and wipes everything.
The data isn't lost even if she thinks that way, it will bit her in the ass in book three.
I'm sorry I triggered to many red flags for you, it normal you can't appeal to everyone.
In fact I'm surprised so many like them at all.
8537647
Thank you for taking the time to respond to all that.
8537682
No problem, I love all feedback you can learn from.
Even when I see things different, I now know more about what some people find annoying and I can try to think about that in the future.
Since I'm not a native speaker (I'm german) I learned a lot of stuff while writing these stories anyway. Just a few days ago I read a chapter from my first story again... and I found at least three things I would write differently now, so after I have finished book three of "For science" I will go over my first story and give it some better wording.
Always learn, always evolve.
8537682
I did rewrite the first chapter today to make some things more believable, at least from my few.
8537647
Okay I just saw this bit...
derpicdn.net/img/2015/11/28/1032280/large.png
If anything, humans would be more terrified of whatever horrible planet-cracking eldritch horrors might come leaking through from the pony side every time a filly gets sad because their bestie moved away. And they'd be right. At least a nuclear weapon has a clear radius.
8609589
Well, your right in a way. On first glace, there isn't much in Equestria that would withstand an AK 47 for more than a few seconds, humans would assume there isn't much stuff that could be easily killed with the weapons hat hand for the military. But if you look closer there is some powerful magic that can do amazing (and scary) stuff.
8725962
This is the world we live in. Where we have to tell people this
8727905
This is the world we live in... and these are the hands we're given
8728339
And the name of that hand is fate
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c71SF9TXfR0
And in its cards, the thing needed most cannot be found.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=01kf_jXGbNI
We shouldn't be surprised, such things have always been, and shall always be as so it has been writ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VEyujOSEexM
For its alpha's and omega's kingdom come
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LTHVluk9ueo
8729861
nice