19 Pain
The doctors had decided I was in a condition to leave the hospital and I was eager to get out.
So I opened my eyes after a good night of sleep in Twilight's bedroom. She was cuddled close to me, and I felt her warmth against my body, her fur felt like an additional blanket. Her beautiful mane was right before me and it smelled so nice. I lifted my hand to run my fingers through her mane... but there weren't any fingers... there wasn't a hand... instead I looked at this ugly bandaged stump. I felt anger rise inside of me, like so many times within the last day... but I noticed Twilight moving uneasy in her sleep, so I did my best to suppress it... again.
I slowly withdrew my good arm from underneath her and got dressed. I went to the kitchen to make myself something for breakfast, Spike was already there. "Morning.", he greeted me. "Care for some oatmeal with fruits?"
I evaluated my options. "Sure, thanks." I was going to get me some of it when Spike stopped me.
"Just sit down, I bring it to you."
'Great, now even the baby dragon thinks I can't do anything on my own.' I clenched my fist. 'Relax, he just wants to be nice.' I took a deep breath and sat at the table. "Thank you, Spike."
We sat in an awkward silence and ate our breakfast until Twilight came down a few minutes later.
"Good morning, my love.", she greeted me.
"Good morning, honey."
We shared a kiss that lightened my mood a bit. I noticed Spike wasn't happy about it, but I couldn't care less, her love was the only thing keeping me sane.
"Later we could go to the market together.", Twilight suggested. "We can look for things you would like to eat, Apples and oatmeal will get boring pretty quick."
"You forgot the pancakes, but you're right, maybe I even find enough ingredients so I can cook something for you."
"Yeah... maybe..."
After we finished our breakfast, me and Twilight spend our time reading different books. I read "The principles of magic" while she read "Great inventions of the 20th century". We had some excellent discussions from the things we learned.
...
"Time for a break, let's go to the market.", she said and closed her book after putting a bookmark inside. I did the same, and together we left the library on our way to the market.
Ponies kept staring at me. I was used to them staring because I was so alien to them, but this was different... they looked at me with sad eyes, their looks glued to my missing hand. When someone realized I had noticed their stares, they were embarrassed and quickly looked away. I hated all these pitiful looks.
In spite of all this, I was able to find a good selection of ingredients for a nice vegetable curry. Twilight used her magic to carry the groceries.
As we arrived back in the library, there was more than enough time for me to prepare our lunch. Twilight wanted to help me, but I chased her out of the kitchen. "Go read something. I got this."
She got herself a book and sat at the table, in a way she could watch me.
'Nobody believes I can do anything on my own.'
I pushed these thoughts away and started to prepare the curry. It was cumbersome to cut the ingredients with my nondominant hand and took me much longer than I wanted. I noticed Twilight checking on me several times a minute, I was pretty sure she didn't read at all.
As I moved a bit careless, I pushed one of the cups I used for measuring ingredients off the table. I brought up my other hand to catch it... the one that wasn't there anymore... the cup shattered on the ground.
I stared at the pieces while I felt so much pity from Twilight.
I felt anger rise and this time I didn't fight it back.
"Stop pitying me!", I screamed. I picked up another cup and threw it against the wall. "I can't feel your love through all this pity anymore! I'm not useless!!"
Crying I stormed out of the library while Twilight shouted something after me, but I didn't listen. As I kicked open the library door on my way out, it nearly hit Rainbow in the face.
"Hey, what's wrong?", she asked me surprised.
"Just leave me alone!", I screamed at her and ran towards the little forest behind the library.
She pursued me. "No way I leave you alone like this."
"Get away from me!", I screamed at her again without any effect. It didn't matter. There was so much anger and hate within me.
Anger at Twilight's for pitying me.
I hated myself for feeling this way towards her.
I hated this world for making things so hard for me.
And more than anything else, I hated this ugly stump I had.
I smashed this stump against a tree as hard as I could. Incredible pain went through my body. I knew Twilight felt a part of this as well and I hated myself even more for doing it... worthless... I'm worthless. Again I smashed it against the tree.
"Stop that!", Rainbow screamed at me.
And again...
And again...
"STOP THAT!!", she screamed.
And again...
And again...
I started to see the world through a red haze, and my bandages began to color red.
And again...
She tackled me to the ground. I tried to get her off me, but she slapped me and shouted something I couldn't understand, the pain from my arm was to strong to concentrate on anything else... but there was something pleading in her eyes that slowly brought me back from my rage.
"... something like that. Don't force me to knock you out."
"I'm sorry...", I whispered.
She relaxed a little upon hearing that. "You owe me a talk about this."
I just nodded.
She looked to the side. "Twilight is on her way here, and she looks pissed as hell. Why is she limping?"
"Keep her away from me, the closer she gets to me the more she will feel my pain.", I plead her.
"I don't know what you are talking about, but I won't stand in her way.", she said, stood up and stepped aside.
Twilight entered my field of view... Rainbow was right, she looked incredibly angry, and her face also showed a lot of pain. Her horn lid up and magical energy shot in my arm, the pain slowly faded.
"I...", I started.
She slapped me hard and I felt it, she flinched from the pain as well. "How can you be this stupid!", she screamed. "Why do you bury all these feelings inside of you, instead of talking to me?!"
She slapped me again. "You know I love you and I will understand. I FEEL PITY BECAUSE I LOVE YOU!" She laid on top of me and started to cry.
I wrapped my good arm around her. "I'm sorry.", I whispered.
"You better be...", she said sobbing. "If you ever shut me out like this again, I can't be with you anymore."
"I promise...", I answered and cried with her.
"Well...", Rainbow started. "I'm off then, but remember you owe me a talk about all this."
I nodded and she flew away.
...
After some time we both had calmed down a bit.
"I have only numbed your arm, it is still bleeding.", Twilight told me. "Let's get you to the hospital to get it treated."
Stats
Page generated in 0.034 seconds
Total duration
971 users online
351,613 hits today, 2,314,256 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Well can't say I would have been any different actually... That's also human nature we like to be independent to a degree we desire companionship but want ourselves to be free to make our own decisions. We know y they pity us but we could never except it. But at least she has someone there
-entire right arm went numb while reading this-
that's a lot man.......
but in all seriousness, you are right, she had to vent in order to get herself back calm and straightened out
7774941 Yeah, we have gone through the darkest part now and things can get brighter now. Good for me as well, this chapter was really affecting my mood, it took very little to mad me mad while thinking about it.
7774941
7774976
Yeah, that goes along with human nature, nobody likes to feel pity coming from someone. Like what was mentioned in the chapter, someone doesn't even have to say anything, you can just look in someone's eyes and see it. I tend to blow my top whenever someone gives me too much of it but I immediately get put in my place, just like what Twi did to Stella
7774976
I agree with Sandstorm. You felt that too!!!
but it needed to happen and yes now she can start to heal the most important part of her... Her soul. Sounds cheesy but bare with me 
she has accepted her situation and she has to depend on some people for things until at least they are able to make a prosthetic arm for her or something but something else is pulling at me... I wonder what Rainbow wants to talk about? I mean if it was about her situation she would have stayed for moral support for both of them or maybe left but if it needed to be said she could have yelled it in front of Twilight. Rainbows personality demands her to be straight up and loyal to her friends. It feels like something underlying issue 
ehhhhh but it could have been just me (shrugs) but all and all great chapter 
7774985 Well, I'm happy you two think I wrote her how we would react as well... and sad at the same time.
7774969 yeah, it wouldn't been believable if she just was able to go on. "Oh, I lost my arm, never mind. Let's kiss some more."
7774998 In my original idea, Rainbow would have talked to her on their way to get to Fluttershy to change her bandages and to keep some distance to Twilight to protect her. But as I thought about the situation, I knew there wasn't a thing that could keep Twilight away from Stella after she had felt this over their connection. Rainbow just felt she had to give them some room since there wasn't any danger anymore. So I postponed her talk with Stella to the next chapter.
7775022
Ya Twi would have tanked to get to Stella probably right and was right in how she left lol hmmm still she has a lot of people to talk to. Rainbow, Pinkie, Applejack. Fluttershy understands of course were Stella's coming from. And Rarity I'm sure will have her turn later... I hope she doesn't make something like a stump sock or something...
7775035 Yeah, there are a lot of interactions ahead
that is one of the moments where I never know if I should be thankfull for the character for helping the troubled person, or if I should be slightly angry with them for ordering around another being.
well... loyal or not, I kind of I think if she doesn't want to be followed, then she should be allowed to be alone.
Then again, maybe this is a version of Equestria, where nearly every little crying means a big problem for them. If I be honest she probably looked pretty distraught.
I guess this is part of my rare reactions towards something Rainbow does, since I had seen her doing certain stuff in what I judge as bad storys.
7775178 Well... Dashie couldn't let Stella continue to hurt herself, but I see your point.
She tries to help her to see things a different way... in the next chapter.
... and I think it is cannon that Rainbow doesn't always make the best decisions ... like trading Fluttershy for a book ;-)
7775244 Well yes you are right,she couldn't let her hurt herself and needed her to focus, which is why she hit her I guess.
Maybe Stella should train to fight if she can't do everything right now. She could be one of those one handed figthers, voockingwould be one of the only things she couldn't do.
No matter how much I like Rainbow and the others, I can't forgett the storys in which Twilight was visiting the Human world and allowed to manhandle the Human.
She could transform him against his will even, and even when the Human was scared the author made it his fault.
I'm actually happy to see characters like Stella, which aren't the typicall wimp, that get's controlled or where Applejack always knows they are in love, or where Rarity can simply seduce him because the Human has no selfcontrol.
7776745 yeah, every character should have their flaws and no one should be able to do anything just like that. Thst is one of the reasons why I don't like to use Alicorn Twilight for stories, she is far to powerful. Like my "Little Shockwaves" story with Luna, I had to use some "magical thingy" to take away her powers (for some time) or else I could never have written the adventure arc. I think characters always have to be believable in their actions or they feel strange.
Welp, this jumped the shark, several times and eventually overflowed my suspension of disbelief buffer.
8535593
Well this extreme anger at their situation isn't so unusual for amputees to have, but I can see that not all can relate to that. If that was your problem here.