The Fresh Princess of Po... nope, I can't do it. That joke is just way too played out.

Okay, so, Rainbow Dash eventually made it to the dark side of the world, had a bunch of epic adventures, killed some baddies, got characterization, watched many of her friends finally die after they largely remained alive while on the light side, and then eventually reached the Midnight Armory, had a bunch of epic battles of both the mental and physical variety, sacraficed herself to save the world, but then the magic that powered the rings decided in its weird magicky way that made her worthy of new life rather than death and so she was reborn but this time as an alicorn but also like in the image of those ancient pegasi founders and it gave her cool kickass powers and she got into the armory and fixed everything up and then made that ring fragment into a giant spaceship thingie and gathered the other fragments and fought a bunch of badies and her friends became corporal again and by friends I mean the other mane six because a lot of her other friends including Raorke died. Real tragedy, I know. Anyway she took like half a book to get over it, but eventually she came to terms with it and had empty sex with Ariel among other ponies but to make a really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really 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really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really reallyreally really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really long story short, eventually Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Twilight Sparkle, Rarity, Fluttershy, and that one other pony (HAHA OBLIGATORY BACKGROUND PONY JOKE!!!) all made it back up to Ponyville where they closed the chaos riff and brought discord back to life as his own seperate entity, and all was happy except Rainbow Dash was lonely again. Regular vanilla and even kinky sex had become boring and meaningless as the centuries wore on and the world she saved moved on. Finally, one day she decided she had done enough moping. It was time to bury the hatchet on an old grudge and visit an old friend. I mean enemy. Definitely an enemy. And so she teleported (she was an alicorn now, remember?) her way across the plain, with some flying in between because she still loved flying, and eventually made it to the infamous town of Lerris.

Lerris was always a sore spot for the Noble Jury, both the in-story group and the devoted disciples of ):(. Pretty much everyone felt Shell had overworn his welcome and become a tired "shell" of himself and that that whole massacre thing was really just way over the top. Personally, Rainbow dash felt she had a lot of blood on her hooves because she had refused to kill him earlier when she had the chance. But you know what they say: "Kill 'em with kindness." Oh, and also, love your enemies. Rainbow Dash was going to do that, alright.

Shell's decaying body had long been picked clean by scavengers, his bones scattered to the four corners of the earth. Okay, just kidding, torus segments don't really have very well defined corners, but more importantly, villagers from the neighboring town of... shit, I can't remember its name. It's like the Harambe paradox: Harambe only became known and appreciated because he died. Anyway, the villagers from the neighboring town had burned his body. Separate from the funeral pyre they cremated all his victims in, because that just would have been hella messed up. Then they took the ashes and threw them in the ocean.

Fortunately, as I had said, Rainbow Dash was really OP now, so she used her life giving powers and other stuff to draw the body back together like that one story in the Bible with the valley of pones... oops funny typo, valley of bones*.

*Ezekiel 37:1-14New International Version (NIV)

The Valley of Dry Bones
37 The hand of the Lord was on me, and he brought me out by the Spirit of the Lord and set me in the middle of a valley; it was full of bones. 2 He led me back and forth among them, and I saw a great many bones on the floor of the valley, bones that were very dry. 3 He asked me, “Son of man, can these bones live?”

I said, “Sovereign Lord, you alone know.”

4 Then he said to me, “Prophesy to these bones and say to them, ‘Dry bones, hear the word of the Lord! 5 This is what the Sovereign Lord says to these bones: I will make breath[a] enter you, and you will come to life. 6 I will attach tendons to you and make flesh come upon you and cover you with skin; I will put breath in you, and you will come to life. Then you will know that I am the Lord.’”

7 So I prophesied as I was commanded. And as I was prophesying, there was a noise, a rattling sound, and the bones came together, bone to bone. 8 I looked, and tendons and flesh appeared on them and skin covered them, but there was no breath in them.

9 Then he said to me, “Prophesy to the breath; prophesy, son of man, and say to it, ‘This is what the Sovereign Lord says: Come, breath, from the four winds and breathe into these slain, that they may live.’” 10 So I prophesied as he commanded me, and breath entered them; they came to life and stood up on their feet—a vast army.

11 Then he said to me: “Son of man, these bones are the people of Israel. They say, ‘Our bones are dried up and our hope is gone; we are cut off.’ 12 Therefore prophesy and say to them: ‘This is what the Sovereign Lord says: My people, I am going to open your graves and bring you up from them; I will bring you back to the land of Israel. 13 Then you, my people, will know that I am the Lord, when I open your graves and bring you up from them. 14 I will put my Spirit in you and you will live, and I will settle you in your own land. Then you will know that I the Lord have spoken, and I have done it, declares the Lord.’”

From Bible Gateway

Little bits of horse flesh and horse lungs and horse dongle, etc. all were drawn from all over the ring, as it had been several centuries, and they had diffused quite a bit. Fortunately, this meant that no living creature were really harmed when they suddenly had a few atoms missing from their body. Like a reverse exodus, his organic matter streamed in from thousands of miles away, gradually assembling itself into a pony. Real trippy stuff, man. Definitely will have to be CGI when they make the movie adaptation. How did they even make cool movies before computers? Far out, man.

Anyway, she soon had a body before her, battered and bruised and with a stake driven through it like when Rainbow left it. She uttered some magic words, and the body healed and the wounds vanished, but it was still lifeless, because whether or not humans have souls, ponies definitely do in the world of Austraeoh. She needed to find his soul. Remember that huge plotpoint about souls heading towards the (jet)Planes of Harmony, but then some souls were dragged down to the darkside because of MechaShell? Some real Scientology shit, but with less volcanos and dianetrics but about the same level of cultyness. So she could now trace where souls had travelled, and his, being so naughty, was... well actually, there is no justice in this cruel cruel world, for his soul was heading towards paradise just like everypony else's. Now how is that fair?

It isn't, but life's not fair, and then you die, unless you're Shell in which case you get resurrected by a goddess. So she found his soul swimming along towards the afterlife like a really janky sperm, and dragged it back to his body. It locked into it like a magnet locks into place on one of those magnetic gates they have in rich people neighborhoods, and the soul and body were one. As were his heart and soul.

"Breathe," Rainbow commanded, and life returned to Shell's eyes.

They fluttered open to see that he was in the arms of Rainbow, gently cradling him. "Welcome back, Shell. Ready for a second chance?"

Shell blushed. ^//_//^ "Oh, Senpai, I never meant to hurt you, I only wanted you all for myself, and when you refused, I... I got angry, a-a-and really tsundere. I-I'm so sorry! Please, Rainbow-kun, I... only want to be with you."

Rainbow smiled gently at the stallion who had once totured her. They say time heals all wounds, including a wounded heart. "It's okay, my sweet Shelly Belly. Come, let us consumate our love."

Oh man, is this going to get steamy? find out below!