• Member Since 7th Dec, 2014
  • offline last seen Feb 25th, 2018

Alyssa Hartwick

These battle scars, don’t look like they’re fading ,Don’t look like they’re ever going away. They ain't never gonna change. These battle scars.....



This story is a sequel to Dear Diary

Rarity.....Its not nice reading another pony's diary... good thing the owner isn't here any more...


Read by DuskyNovel


You "Dont" have to read the prequal of this story but its HIGHLY RECOMENDED beacuse this is a sequal

Hope you enjoy!:pinkiecrazy:

Amazing editor!DragonHistorian :pinkiecrazy::heart:

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 78 )

I don't know, for some reason I didn't enjoy this as much as the first part of this story.
The ending was, well, meh to me. It wasn't like the last part's ending, which I found to be better then this one.

7486805 ok I must say that I agree with you on that. more or less.

Why do I picture this creature - a nocnitsa, I figure - impersonating Pinkie Pie and doing Cupcakes?

Suitably terrifying, at any rate, and more than a match for the common unicorn...

(ObHeresy: it targets Flurry Heart. OTOH, maybe it doesn't wanna risk tangling with an alicorn princess in Mama Bear mode...)

I agree...
In all honesty i didn't want to make a sequal but every one asked so i tried...
I had never made a sequal so i didn't know where to begin
sorry to dissapoint:fluttercry::heart:

7486934 It's not bad, as such, just a little rushed. But it is fuel for many a crack theory of mine...

The ending was a little cliche to be honest, but was better with the 'horror.' Even if this doesn't get 25 likes you should make the next.

Thank you for the kind words :twilightsmile:

I know it was but i didn't know how to end it sorry:pinkiesad2:

7486950 It's totally fine!, you didn't disappoint me!

I do apologize though, seeing as I was one of the people who wanted a sequel. I apologize for forcing you to make it, even though you didn't want to.

7486952 No offense, it just seemed rushed. Even though it was a great sequel.

To be honest i wanted to leave it on a permanent cliff hanger so that it would always leave the reader wondering..."What happend":twilightsheepish:
but thank you for the kind words:twilightsmile:
and its not your fault i just wanted to please every one:pinkiesmile:

yea i know its rushed i just wanted to make the readers happy:pinkiesad2:

7486969 Well, I would have liked it if it was a cliffhanger, but at the same time I did want to learn more/see more.
And you're welcome, I don't know if you'll do another one to end the trilogy, but if you don't feel like doing it, then don't do it. We'll understand.

7486971 And the readers are happy from the looks of it. No dislikes means it was good, so keep up the good work!:pinkiehappy:

if you want to see more of my work i have about 2 other one shots that are dark:pinkiesmile:
check them out if youd like:rainbowkiss:

thanks :pinkiehappy:
I have some other oneshots that you can veiw if you'd like:rainbowkiss:

Why is there so much blank space in the synopsis?

7486979 I'll definitely make sure to!

Which one would you recommend?

Well i would recommend "The Tale of a mad mare" for those who love edger Allen poe:twilightsmile:
and "forever silent" for those who enjoy physiological horror:pinkiesmile:

It makes it..... DRAMATIC:pinkiecrazy::rainbowwild:

7487044 Cool, I'll definitely give Forever Silent a look then!

Thank you for recommending them to me. :twilightsmile:

The ending sold it to me.

So... It makes identical copies of ponies it killed?

ohhhhh don't feel bad, think of it as feed back on your first sequel...... for better or worst. but either way, it is still a good story.

Puny mortal the truth is always so much more gruesome than one may think:pinkiecrazy:

A good story, keeping up the vibe of horror established in the prequel to this. I will agree that the ending was a bit more clichΓ© and duller in this story compared to its predecessor, but that's not entirely a fault of your own.

Making a story should be something you do to the point where you feel satisfied, so don't always feel as if you have to rush something out. We can understand that life may not always accommodate. There are plenty of kind people and various groups on this site dedicated to providing editing services and general advice/improvement for one's writing. Even just one pre-reader and some edits can make a great difference for a story, although the process is ultimately your choice.

If you do make a sequel, I look forward to seeing it when you feel it's ready. Keep up the good work.

Thank you for the advice and the kind words:pinkiesmile::heart::twilightsmile:

I saw a video on YouTube that had a creature similar to what you described in the first story and the pony it attacked was rarity. We're you inspired by it or a horror movie that had a similar monster?

Also great story. I should no have read this right now seeing it is about 12:00 though. I got chills from reading both stories back to back.

Your welcome:pinkiecrazy:

if you want more terror i have a few more dark oneshots that you can read:rainbowkiss:

If you dare

7487494 let me at em, I can take em!

the other two dark one shots i have is "Tale of a Madmare" and "Forever silent":pinkiecrazy: you can find them in the oneshots section on my user page:twilightsmile:

Sweet dreams

7487507 I will definitely check them out.

that was awesome I did not want to scroll down to keep reading.

Im glad you enjoyed:yay:

I have a few more horror themed oneshots that you can read:pinkiecrazy:

and more horror will be coming soon:rainbowkiss:

I like this story more than the "Dear Diary" story.It had more of an explanation and i think i have theories behind Angel.

Our previous protagonist, Sweetie bell from the previous story is possibly dead since her diary has blood and it would make a little sense if her diary had blood on it.It would also explain why it doesn't mention Sweetie bell anywhere in the story.

I can't tell Angel's reason for the attack but here's what i can only predict: Angel is after the members of the elements of harmony and if she could even at least kill 1 of them,the elements wont work properly and but her reason behind Sweetie bell im not so sure.Maybe Sweeite bell is always with Rarity meaning she's a witness and Angel has to eliminate her to prevent future consequences.

Another reason i come to think of is that Angel is preparing for a satanic ritual and needs dead bodies of Unicorns.This makes sense since both Sweeite bell and Rarity are Unicorns.

I really like this story though.It puts a lot of theories into the readers and i enjoy that.Same goes to Resident evil 7.I apologize if im over-thinking this but its just interesting to think about.

This has the same absurdity as all those 'found footage' movies.

Why the hell is Sweetie writing down what the monster is doing? Usually, when someone sees something like that, they tend to put down the pen/camera and GET THE HECK AWAY FROM IT!!

And the old 'look behind you' trope... *sighs*

This is like a first-year film student's attempt at a horror film script.

Im working on a third:pinkiecrazy:

IM going to be nice and going to give you a little spoiler. Its from the monsters point of veiw


I see where your coming :twistnerd:
and thank you for the criticism:pinkiesmile:


The writing was great! :)

I read this and the previous story. Which you should know since I added it in my "Stories Read" library. Anyway.
I never said I would give this a review and this isn't exactly a review but... some of my thoughts.
It's creepy, no doubt about that. As you said in a comment, you didn't want to really do a sequel. I honestly felt like the ending to the first story was better. It was just better thought out, and while I going to say it was obvious you had been planning and working on it, it's really just a guess.
I've just read so many stories of all kinds (and not just on this site) that I'm really not surprised by many things. The ending to this... I didn't know what was exactly going to happen, but I had a suspicion, and as soon as I saw the first bloody message that Rarity was reading, I knew exactly what was going to happen. I just shrugged, said, 'Meh' and continued reading.
It's not a bad story by any means. Though there are a few typos here and there. With a little more polish in terms of editing, it'd be even better. I'd be willing to help with editing, if you request it.
And I can definitely tell that you like dark and horror just as much as I do. Maybe more so, maybe not. Hell, I'm tempted to even let you know (if you ask) about a horror fic I'm planning in the far future, in some detail. Just PM me about it. Or not.

Edit: I did enjoy both stories, but the first one more so than the second.

Perfect for some night reading I love it!

I have more horror if you want:pinkiecrazy:

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