- Member Since 29th May, 2016
- offline last seen Apr 30th, 2023
MetalJrock
Just a guy writing stories, mainly crossovers.
MetalJrock
Joined 29th May, 2016 ·
Offline
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The idea is fantastic, but the pacing, the reactions, interactions, character decisions... could certainly use work and polish. More work than polish.
7447374 thanks. I may do a rewrite of this later on so I can fix the problems.
Rarity x Rarity
Maybe this Image would be better as cover Art.
derpicdn.net/img/2016/4/29/1142248/large.jpeg
7447870 It really is more fitting. Thanks.
You... didn't proofread this at all, did you?
7455511 I admit... I'm not too proud of how the first chapter came out in terms of pretty much everything. That's what I get for writing on a phone and on a whim. But I do plan on giving it a major overhaul sometime down the line for the sake of coherence.
this is fun but theres too many typos to really get into it, let me know if u ever rewrite to clean it up
Not bad, a tender odd story
Totally could go for a sequel.
7455511 He did it by outsmarting you. By singing at literal children who think lies are diamond tiaras.
7466810 Look, I can't even find a facepalm big enough without a literal Sears Tower.
Never explain the joke to anyone if they want you to. Unless they are a kid.
The POV shifts between Pony and Humanoid Rarity are a problem, because they're not always clearly indicated and the two beings are very similar. It would work better if there was a clear paragraph separation between them every time.
Spike spinoff? Poor guy would have probably died from nosebleeds :D
So, Rarity is literally screwing herself.
Nice
HHhhhmmm a bit short but i liked the idea, I think I try this story later. Even if I haven't read it yet I have a question, does the other Rarity want to go back or is Twilight born with a personality here that makes her bossy and forcing her back in her world? I just remembered that possible version of Twilight and needed to ask.
I like it but I would have ended it with pony rarity getting human rarity magically pregnant