Twilight was on her way home from a visit with Zecora when she is attacked by manticores and saved by a strange pony who claims to be a hermit. if he prefers solitude, then why did he save her, and what is he hiding? Can Twilight and her friends show him the magic of friendship and get him to open up, or is his past too painful to reveal?
The sequal to this story is here
Cover art by Sayer
Page generated in 0.248 seconds
Total duration
858 users online
671,495 hits today, 2,328,677 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Just so the rest of you know, I really just wrote this story for fun, while I do appreciate any writing advice, I would like it if you would also just focus on the story and not any spelling mistakes I made. Thank you
2273973 I get you, I just wanted to help if I could. I will give it a good read when I find the time. Sorry if I sounded snobbish, I just figured that some good, hands on advice would help curb the negativity of this and future works by you.
Love this story what's the name of the sequel
for those who are interested I do have a sequel to my first fanfic. If I get enough requests for it I'll post it.
oh, this story was good
Why the fuck do people dislike this and were is the link
Hell yeah so fucking good!
Grammar. Oh, and I'm this weird stallion, whoever he is. I am him, and he is me. No judging.
This guy is epic. Epicer than epic.
Just deleted my fic 'cause you just took my OC. Same name, too.
2273973If I were you, I would have gone with Robrony. Word plaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!
I would so totally be a Shadow Walker...probably Nightshade, too. No, definitely Nightshade. The whole no emotions, show no fear, yells at himself and others, dark secret, etc. Laughed out loud as soon as I read the Truth or Dare sequence. As Rainbow says, "BWWAAAHHHH HAAAAH HAAH!"
at the end
are you talking about how he is an immortal??????????
2273973 Tehe, I just saw that you deleted my post. Anyways, if you don't want to take advice, that's cool I guess. I mean you know we review people don't put a shit ton of effort just to read through you authors stories to waste our energy on typing up proper reviews and to help you guys become better next time you write. Looks like our comments didn't help to much. Oh well.
Im sure he knew what to do before she left... give her the d---
So many feels. I always cry when I read the ending.
Hey Shining, it's Cloud, I finally made time to read this.
I just finished chater 2 and love it so far, can't wait for the rest.
AHHHHH! need sequel ah goddammit this story...is...just to...epic to not have one- cold runner's dieing words
3445368 Don't know if you noticed, but there is a link in the description to the sequel.
3445557
oh...right i uh should look there huh?
I'm not gonna point out the gramatical mistakes etc because I took the time to read the comments lol so here goes my opinion of your fanfic. It's far from a masterpiece, obviously, since it's your first fanfic but I did enjoy it. The story itself is interesting and the quality of the writing noticeably improve through the chapters. The one thing I really like about it is your OC and his history. I am someone who love OCs, meeting new ponies that I don't already know every single sides and aspects of their life is one of the things I strive for (forgive me if I used the wrong word, I'm currently on my ipod and don't have access to a translator to verify if this word does mean what I think it means). I have nothing against OC shipping but I think their relationship grew at a rate which seems rather fast. I understand though that the story's length and "time limit" before Twilight had to leave must have forced you to, how can I say, come to point quickly? Anyway, it's nearly 4am, write using this kind of vocabulary and the fact that I've gone through pretty much everything I had to say is probably a good reason for me to sleep. I hope you like what I had to say and that it can help you improving, even though I didn't really said anything that could help you lol. See ya I guess.
PS: Your OC remind me of my own OC :P but my OC's story is too much of a mess and I'm nowhere skilled enough to put anything on paper sadly. Maybe, one day, I'll finally manage to write something and, hopefully, have something nearly as good as this for the result :) but I doubt I'll ever be able to. I just can't write. Oh and my ipod crashed when I originally wrote this comment and I had to rewrite all of this ;_;
Apparently, my ipod crash whenever I try to fix the typo in my previous comment... Anyway, I'll fix it tomorrow if I don't forget lol, btw I'm abisionkk in case you didn't figure it out :P
3774346 Glad you enjoyed it despite these grammical errors, I don't really see the point in getting an editor to fix those since it's already complete. But I guess it couldn't hurt, do you think you could go through it and do some editing? If not, that's fine, I'll find someone else to do it.
... I'm going to have to have a word with Celly.
Nice new cover art.
Mm...the story could be good, but the way it is written feels very...uniform. It's more like reading a textbook rather than a story, in my opinion. That is my only real qualm with it at the moment. I'll give it a coupe more chapters but the style it is written in makes it quite hard for me to enjoy.
4384925 I hope you'll give the follow up stories of this one a chance as well, I think I improved on writing after this one.
SO STINKING CUTE
2786941 *FALCON PUNCH!* ....No....Just NO!
HNNNGGGGGGGG! MY HEART! *heart implodes from the feelz*
When are they going to tell celestia about this
Things are getting intruging...… I wonder if everyone forgot about the creature crashing down in the forest below.... If so, I believe things are about to get a lot more interesting! I'm excited!