• Member Since 6th Nov, 2011
  • offline last seen 24 minutes ago

Sky Trotter


Bearded brony from the beginning that wears silly hats and write stories.

T
Source

Obsidian the Black has been in seclusion for just over one thousand years. Long ago he was friends with a Midnight Blue mare and her sister, Working together they brought peace to the Dragon lands and Equestria. After Luna's Banishment Obsidian fell into depression and retreated into his hiding hole. But now after a thousand years, Luna has returned. Can Obsidian come back and rekindle the flame of friendship after all this time. And perhaps even more?

Proof Reading done by both AlicornPriest chapters 1 and 2, roker12 chapters 1,2,3,4, Raidy/Orion Chapters 1,2,3,4,5


Thank you both for your help

Chapters (10)
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Comments ( 47 )

I like this.

7306454
Thank you. I am still not sure how long it will be but I am hoping I can bring it up to at least 10k words before I am finished. But I will just have to see what happens:pinkiehappy:

Uki

This is a very well written story i would like to read more but you have spelt mean, meen which is not a word and could be 'food' for internet trolls. Overall this is one of the better stories i have read.

7357666
Thank you for the heads up. Has now been edited to correct the mistake, and thank you for the comment.

Uki

7358968

If you would like I can proofread your stories.

7359670
if you are willing to I would love the help

Uki

7359960 just ask me and I will

What's this? A fairly well written story about dragons? We don't have nearly enough of those. You have most certainly gained my attention.:raritywink:

P.S: Something I thought I should point out.

please meet me where you claim to the dragon scepter

I believe what you were trying to convey was:

please meet me where you laid claim to the dragon scepter

I'll be watching! :derpytongue2:

7370371
thank you for the suggestion. I have to admit that it does read better that way. Edit has been taken into account

Oh boy. Pitch-black batpony Alicorn.

Well, leaving that aside for now: There's some typos here and there, and halfway through the chapter, everything turns to italics and back again. If that wasn't intended, you might want to fix it.

Ah. That explains it.

Quick suggestion: Slow down a bit! Allow your scenes to develop a little more. Your readers want to feel the emotions you present to the fullest, so if you take a little more time to describe what's happening, how your characters react to what's happening and how they feel, it'll be very helpful for them!

While Obsidian the Black wants to write to Ember to invite her to Canterlot with Celestia and Luna, part of me thinks that Spike and Twilight need to be there as well. After all, I think that it would be quite prudent and polite, as well as a source of goodwill and friendship that Obsidian can see that there are more Alicorns, but more importantly,, that there are other dragons that stood the test of time and heeded to his initial requests of Friendship thousands of years previous, and Spike is the perfect example that there are dragons that are friends with ponies--his major claims to fame is that he's the assistant/adoptive brother of the new Princess of Friendship, the 2-time Savior of the Crystal Empire, as well as the initial successor to Dragon Lord Torch since he claimed the BloodStone Scepter before he willing stood aside and gave the Scepter to Ember so she can become the new Dragon Lord.

This is gonna be quite interesting.

It has an interesting premise, but well written? I suggest getting an editor since there was a lot of errors in the tense, words not capitalized, run on sentences, etc. This feels more like a first draft then the final product. An editor should help fix these mistakes, however there are editors that are terrible as well on this site, so reread what you wrote an ass ton to catch the mistakes yourself.

So after some consideration I have deiced to take "To Rekindle the Flame" down for a bit. I need to find a proof reader to go over it in order to help me polish the story so far. Not sure when it is going to be put back up. Hopefully it won't take too long. Thank you for your support.

Comment posted by Trimontar deleted Jul 16th, 2016
Una

Not bad. Just try to slow down a little more and maybe add more descriptions of surroundings . You could even mention (ears, wing twitches, or movements, exc.) Just some ideas.

just curious how often is this going to be updated

It's been a good minute since I last came to this and probably other comments hint to it, but I can't help but think that Obsidian and Luna may have been a bit of a thing way back in the past, before Luna became Nightmare Moon and was banished to the moon. I mean the way that Obsidian is mentioning about how he 'let Luna down', it's not a stretch to think that there were interspecies relationships, specifically pony/dragon, well before Spike's crush on Rarity.

7837121
I am trying to keep this more updated. just having a bit of writers block recently

7837714 ok just curious:twilightsmile:

Get reading, go to click the next chapter button and find THAT THERE ISN'T ONE!:flutterrage:
When's the next chapter going to be here?:fluttercry:

7854753
I am working on the next chapter. I've been having issues with motivation, as well and the issues with my editors disappearing off the face of Equis. But rest assured That I am working on the next chapter now.

“As I said. It would appear that I will have two pupils instead of one. I have much to teach. Provided you are willing to learn”

The look that she gave him at this point almost made his blood turn to ice, ‘I think I might have bitten off more than I can chew with this one.’

Duh!:pinkiecrazy:

Nice little chapter could use a going over by an editor what with the few missing words here and there but not bad

No one saying anything yet about the cut scene from Disney's Sword in the Stone?
Oh well, I still think that's one of the better scenes in the whole movie

Alright everyone. I got a new editor. AWWWW yea for little sisters who are English literature majors.

Chapter one has been re-uploaded as well as being re eddited

It's been 12 weeks since you last updated the story is good but that's a long time with nothing when are you going to update oh and good job so far on this story

my biggest issue at this point is getting my pre reader/ editor to keep up with it. I am working with my little sister whom is a English lit major. However she is just over a year into her marriage and I think that is taking up a lot of her time.

So I got in contact with my Editor. She should have some time to help with my story now. this chapter is quite rough right now, I just wanted to put some content out. it will be reloaded in the near future and hopefully I can start to progress further in the story.

Smiling back at the young purple dragon “I guess this means I need to tell my parents that they have two grandfoals now. I also get to tell Cadence that I was a mom first.”

Twilight to Cadence: “SUCK IT CANDY BUTT!

Waiting for more

UPDATE! Very rarely does the offspring of money have the character that their parents had though it is possible but usually it’s a generation or two before ONE descendant develops anything even close.

This is gonna sound so crass, especially since that it seems that the attraction between Princess Luna and Obsidian the Black are coming back in spades--and that I know that at the moment it is rated Teen (meaning if any intimate stuff happens between the two, it happens off-screen or implied)--but they really need to fuck already. It's like they were gonna go all the way, but then due to fate Obsidian fell asleep for one of his extended naps that dragons have to take, and an effect of Obsidian not being there for Luna could lead to Luna feeling lonesome and neglected, which could have lead to Nightmare Moon and her banishment for at least a millennium. They are both back, not to mention they are connected thanks to Spike (his mentor and his adopted aunt; I know in this story Twilight is Mom to Spike, but I still see Luna as a dear Auntie...same as Celestia apparently--unless we are assuming that Spike has two moms in Twilight AND Princess Celestia.)

Comment posted by Sky Trotter deleted Nov 15th, 2017

8552183
Gonna copy metal gear a bit here to describe the whole issue. Since you said they really need to fuck.

Sexual Tensions(Nanomachines) Son! They breed stupidity across the whole of creation...

favorite and tracking i will be waiting for more

*looks for appropriate training montage music that isn't 'Eye of the Tiger'*

Luna, it's time to take your man...I mean Dragon. Your nephew is already ahead of you a bit because he has two, including a pony lover. There is no excuse now.

And bonus, I bet you that one you a Sid are official, you have something on both Celestia and Tia--her lover is a dragon. And surprising, it seems to be like Auntie, like nephew....

8340815
I remember the comic talking about her time with Spike after hatching. All things considered, she WAS acting like a mother...
a mother barely into her double digits and classes to attend.

So is Twilight an aunt to Obsidian?

8546277
And that is what leads to greedy/possessive nature of people like Redmond and Blutarch Mann.

I hope the story may keep going. Its one of the best ones so far😅😅😅

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