• Member Since 14th Mar, 2013
  • offline last seen 6 days ago

Robobrony


T

There is a new alicorn in Equestria. For some reason, he is ashamed of what he is, he seems to believe that he should not be what he is. Where did he come from, and why is he in Ponyville? It is up to the mane six to try and help this poor creature.

Chapters (17)
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Comments ( 63 )

The story is well-written, but I don't buy it at all.

If you only need a Pegasus and a Unicorn to make an Alicorn, then Equestria should have more than 3 of them ( 4 if we account Twilight ).
Another thing is the fact that the MC or all his town/nation don't believe about the Alicorn at all; an immortal ruler who raise the sun ( and the moon ) and have day court is really more tangible than a legend.

EDIT : and after a review of your others stories, you seem quit adamant about making a working alicorn MC story, but like I said I personnaly don't buy this one so far.

2516679 First of all, as was pointed out, the village is far away from Equestria so the ponies of Stableton have no idea of Celestia or Luna, second there is a reason why an alicorn was born from a Pegasus and a unicorn. Wait for the rest of the story before you pass judgment. Appreciate the feed back though. :raritystarry::yay:

I like this story please continue.

Cool story. I can't wait to see what Princess Celestia and Princess Luna do when they meet him. They will probably be like this.:pinkiegasp: Keep writing. :pinkiehappy:

covering defensive spells, some covering defensive spells, basically various types of spells for Heart Wing to learn.
I think you mean combat :moustache:

Also the story seems to ramble a bit and it seems that what he dose ends up pretty much perfectly (or it could be natural) the plot of the story seems good sofar and its a great fic but it could use some tweaks

I like what you did to this chapter it seems refreshing :twilightsmile:

2560045 Glad you liked it, what you said in your last comment made sense, It did seem uninteresting if Heart Wing managed to succeed in everything he did, there's just no challenge in that sense. Thank you for the advice.:yay:

I LOVE THIS STORY!!!! I DEMAND TO SEE MORE!!!!!!!!! :heart::pinkiecrazy::heart::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy:

I DEMAND TO READ SEE MORE!!!!!!! THIS STORY ROCKS!!!!!!:heart::pinkiecrazy::heart::pinkiecrazy:

Yes. Story has reached awesomeness.

2572720>>2573629 And more you shall see, fair warning, for what I have planned, you will puke rainbows from the awesomeness in future chapters. I just haaaad to go there didn't I? :twilightsheepish::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy:

AWSOME!!!!! I LOVE THIS STORY!!!!! OOOOOOHHHHHH JUST CAN'T WAIT FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER!!!!!:rainbowhuh::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::twilightsmile::twilightsmile:

It would of been cool if insteand of blinding light there was more of a grey over and it showed what happed in the past ( kind of like the elderscroll or other stuff like that) of how something like this or that was foged er whatnot. :derpytongue2:

I think you could challenge their bond of friendship by having the demons power leak out sending minions to attack well disrupt the seven or cause some good old fashion chaos

WOW........JUST WOW!: :rainbowderp: your STORY ROCKS!!!!!!:heart::twilightsmile::pinkiehappy:

AWSOME AND EEEEEEPPPPPPIIICCCC!!!!!!!!!!:rainbowdetermined2::rainbowdetermined2::rainbowdetermined2:I DEMAND TO SEE MORE!!!!!!:heart::pinkiecrazy::pinkiehappy::twilightsmile::heart::pinkiecrazy::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:

I just found this today. The comment made earlier about puking rainbows is wrong.
This made my mind explode out of my head in a gooey rainbow mess.

I'll be watching for more especially now that timeline manipulation has been thrown in.

I'd laugh my ass off if Doctor Whooves makes a cameo due to the timeline alterations.
"What's going on here to mess with the the timeline like this?" Sees the demon and the Harmony Guardians. "Good luck with the fight! I'm off!!"

2607673 Thanks for the idea dude.:raritywink::twilightsmile::pinkiehappy:

2610913 Thought you might like that.

EDIT: Now that I've read this chapter I just have one thing to say.

Seems 'bout right.

What can I say? I watch too much Doctor Who and this situation seemed like a classic from the show...

2610976 I'm a fan of the show too:pinkiegasp: I love that show.:pinkiecrazy: Glad you like the story so far.:raritywink:

It would figure that Twilight was up against the real Nightmare.

:moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::heart::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy:WHAT NOOOOO!!!!!!!:flutterrage::flutterrage: It can't be the end.!!!!!:flutterrage::fluttershbad::fluttershbad::fluttercry: THIS STORY IS TOO AWSOME JUST TO MAKE IT END!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::fluttercry::fluttercry::fluttershbad::fluttershbad::heart::pinkiecrazy::pinkiegasp::pinkiehappy::heart::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::trollestia::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:

I do have one question. It pertains to the fact that Heart Wing is an immortal alicorn like Celestia and Luna. What will happen once his family start aging? Sequel?

2637930Go back to chapter 13 and read it carefully. It points out that Heart Wing is not immortal.

2638433 Oh yeah. I forgot...

DERP!!!

2637927I'm glad you feel that way, but sadly, all good things must come to an end.:fluttershbad::fluttercry::raritycry::raritydespair: I'm glad so many of you liked my story so much, I really appreciate the support. :twilightsmile: Just wait until my next project.:pinkiegasp:

:moustache::moustache::moustache:2638442 ok:ajsleepy::ajsleepy: i guess i'll just read your other stories to wait for like a sequal or soething.:moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::trollestia::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::trollestia::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::trollestia::trollestia:

Wait... are they in... the future!?!?

He gots heart attacks

I wuv it:raritystarry:thx for the great story:twilightsmile:

nice story had a very good lot to it and was very enjoyable

2900992 Thanks, glad you like it. :pinkiehappy::twilightsmile::raritystarry::pinkiesmile::ajsmug::yay:

2901235 yw btw when my comment said lot i meant plot

Excellently done!
10 out of 10 Happy Pinkies for you!
:pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:

Whats the point of making an alicorn OC when he cant use magic i just think thats stupid

3881919 Keep reading, there is a reason behind it.

2517998 You have Weird Al as your profile pic... with ORANGE HAIR.

4063993 hes not weird al he's marshal bowdrie.

2547744 I think you mean "offensive".

HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THEY JUST ASCENDED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Doctor is CAPITALIZED!!!!! Get it right.

4064024 It's not weird...
IT'S FUCKING AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wonderful story! Nicely written couldnt have done any better :pinkiehappy::derpytongue2::twilightsmile::moustache:

Mm, not too bad. I think it would've been much better if it had been longer and touched upon the time spent together rather than marking it as "several months later" and the sort. All in all, good story, but it could have been better.

I would also suggest a romance tab for the shipping...lord knows I'd have found it far sooner that way. ;)

“Rainbow Dash, you’re ok, oh thank Celestia you’re all right!” Heart Wing then embraced Rainbow in a tight hug.

I feel Heart Wing saying, thank Celestia you're all right, feels out of place as until very recently he had no knowledge of alicorns being real and definitely had no knowledge of Celestia or Luna.

The story felt like a nice 50 MPH drive in a convertible on a Nice 70s sunny day. The ending felt like slamming into a brick wall with how abrupt the ending felt to me. Enough to enjoy all but the ending.

hes a pegacorn they cant do anything

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