• Member Since 7th Jun, 2012
  • offline last seen Oct 31st, 2018

ShrapnelLeader


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Nearly thirty years in the future, the Mane Six have married and settled down to raise families of their own. When Andromeda, Twilight's daughter, rediscovers a familiar time-traveling spell, she makes it her mission to fix what was once unfixable. The spell goes wrong and she and the other sons and daughters of the Mane Six find themselves in the past (before the events of Twilight's alicorn coronation). Separated after the jump, they must all find each other in time before they are discovered, or else they risk changing history and even erasing their own existence.

(NOTE: These kids are not shipping children. They have dads, but even I do not know who they are. None of the fathers will be named or physically described in this story because the focus on my story is on the children. Please respect my decision of neutrality by not "guessing" who the dads are. The designs of the children were influenced by their mothers and nothing else. Thank you all for understanding.)

(Cover art by LinaPrime)

Chapters (6)
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Comments ( 151 )

Wait....is this the same story that is on DeviantArt?

One major question: Does Twilight still have her wings or did she give them up? Cause it's possible to live in Ponyville and keep her wings you know.

2162494

Yes and no. It's the same story, but the reason I've not posted to Fimfiction from the beginning is because I knew that I would need time to continuously come up with more ideas and be able to make sure I submit a truly finished product. Basically, as I submit to Deviantart, I will simultaneously be submitting the "final product" here. I will re-edit the DA ones of course, but only after I post to Fimfiction.

And answering the alicorn question, I don't know. I've left it open to multiple possibilities. Luckily for me, it's irrelevant to this story. The kids' time jump to the place takes place BEFORE she becomes a princess, but I can have the kids make references to it.

2162572 Okay then!

It would though to probably make a quick mention soon, just so that you don't get 90 comments asking the same thing. Something like changing "The purple unicorn" to "the purple alicorn" or something.

You could always make this an alternate universe if you can't figure anything out about Twilicorn

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I changed "unicorn" to "mare" to avoid any confusion. The whole alicorn thing is a bit disorienting because I began writing this story in June of 2012, but que sera sera.

Fortunately for me, it won't have any impact on my story.

2162641 Well played. Now nobody's confused and can make her what they want in their heads.

Ohh it's this story. :pinkiehappy: I have it watched on Deviantart.

Wow...just wow. This story was already perfect and yet you made it even better! :pinkiegasp: I loved how much more descriptive you made while still not going overboard. And the extra little things that happened, like Andi trying to hide the mess, really added a lot to the story. Keep up the awesome work dude, you never cease to amaze me!! :yay:

they make no sense to me really. i know they have father's but you can't have a good story unless you know them or theres a reasonable answer for why they're gone.
again, some of the names mean no sense what so ever. it's the APPLE FAMILY. i can understand bucky but where the HEY would BISMARK COME IN?! again, bismark is a city in the U.S> not a good pony name!? show SOME creativity. i mean i can see the mother's naming the rest of the kids. those are pretty good names except BISMARK.

anyways i read it and the idea is awesome, just my opinion, i don't like the characters.

2162907 That's a lot of criticism for a story that hasn't even gotten started, but I'll answer your questions. Hopefully you can see my reasoning.

Firstly, I can write a story without the fathers. Don't forget that this is a time travel story. The dads only need to be in this enough to make their existence and presence known, but overall, they have zero impact on the story itself. Not only that, but when the kids go back in time, they can't just waltz up to their moms and say "you're going to marry ____." That has existence-erasing consequences.

Second, I've only introduced one character so far and yet you hate them all? The basis of your opinion is solely dependent on their names, which I will explain. Bismarck is named after a type of apple, the Bismarck apple, but Bismarck is also a name (like Otto von Bismarck) that acts as a representation of what my character is. Bismarck is strong, brave, a leader, and a stallion who takes action.

I understand your confusion, but I believe if you give the story a chance, you'll see where I'm going with this.

I very much like the idea of the meeting the Mane 6's children, but I have yet to see a story pull it off. More often than not the children just end up being almost identical to their parents with not many drastic shifts from those personalities.
I shall keep an optic on this.

2162907 No offense, but that's really harsh.
The other characters haven't even been introduced yet, but you can trust me when I say this, they are amazing characters without good development

2162993 never said i wasn't gonna give it a chance.i already said i liked the idea and flow of the story.
and about the fathers, i understand. i understand it's a time traveling story. i'm writing one with my friend with the same story idea. it's just written differently.

also i still think bismark is a weird and freaky name but eh, atleast it makes sense now. i'd prefer a more common apple name. even i didn't know and i help my aunt who runs a stand at the farmer's market. i won't bring up anymore flack about it

Oh sweet this got on FIMFiction finally, and it got some nice new cover art.

Double like! Also am I to assume that Bismark and Flora are like... together or something? Or is everyone just being super cuddly for this picture.

2163020

1. i've seen fanart for these kids on DA. and i know them by the descriptions on them. if this is the same person than i can safely assume it's going to go the same way as the art stories.

2. i didn't mean to sound harsh, i'm bi-polar, so excuse me if i sound that way. i'm mad but not mean. i already explained it

2163019 Ah ha ha! Exactly! I feel the same way. It's true that it's way too easy to just cut-and-paste the personality from mom to child, but what I'll show soon enough is a clear emphasis on avoiding that. Obviously the kids will show some of their moms' traits, but it has been my goal to make them both unique and well-developed. I want to change what people think of when they hear "fan children." I've been planning them for nearly a year and I'm STILL coming up with new ideas for them. I hope you enjoy what I have in store for this website!

2162738 Knowing you liked the changes I made really makes me feel better about posting here. My other stuff was more of a first draft, but this is the big leagues, so I need to bring my A-game! I have no idea if my story will end up doing well or not, but whatever happens, I really appreciate your incredible support! Thank you, Crisy.

2162736 Eeeeeyup. I've made a LOT of changes though and I'll continue to do so while I'm here. Hope you enjoy the "new and improved" version!

2163038 Ah, I see.
I apologize if I came off as rude

2163038 Thank you. I know you've seen their personality profiles on DA, but reading a few brief summaries is not going to give anyone a proper idea of my characters. They're more complex than that and a fanfiction can better portray what I want out of them than a profile biography. There's still a lot of story to be told.

2163086
Don't we love how this fandom fixes these kind off problems easily. We are so awsome:pinkiehappy:

Man, I just want to create a Muary account and be like "You are not the father!"

Thank you for sharing this story with us.

Ah, time travel and cornucopia of great stuff to play with.
Questions, questions so many questions but for now...
good first chapter, the kind that gets me pumped to read more but also make me sad that I might never do some thing good either.
But I would like to see more but I can wait.
I do hope that we can find out the who the other children belong too, I can guess but I would like to know.
I mean in this first chapter you already put fourth two and I knew Bismarck was a type of apple so I could guess his linage.
I want to make these guess aloud :trixieshiftright: but if I'm wrong I look the fool.
so I must weight.

Good luck and I hope everything will work out
Good luck in the future:pinkiehappy:

(Joke) Alt. Title: Daughter Who: Blink To The Future
The kids of the Mane 6: Hora the Explorer! Tempest 2000! Metallic Orion! Peach "Mac" Cobbler! Andromeda Domine! Bismarck Madness! A Dose Of Bucky! Radience!... I-I can't think of a lame pun for that.

*Sees title*
Insert "Brain is full of fuck" image here

You know, when I saw this with what I thought was a fairly kitschy title and, worse, a story about the Mane 6's kids (a story idea that's never really done well) I didn't think much of it. But after reading it, well, I'm glad to see I was wrong. Even with just the introduction of Twilight's daughter, the story seems to be going well. Andromeda seems to be different enough from her mom to be interesting, but not too much to the point of ridiculousness. I like the idea of using her mom's notes on time travel, and the character designs for the kids, after another look, are pretty enjoyable and I look forward to meeting them as well. Liked and faved.

2164358 Thank you for the compliment and support. That's the reason I chose this as my story topic. I've never spoken with anyone who said they saw a fan children story that they liked, so it inspired me to attempt to be the first. One of the most important aspects, I feel, is my neutrality on shipping. When I designed my characters' appearances and personality profiles, I wanted them to be seen as more than just the spawn of two canon (and sometimes non-canon) ponies. As I write this, I intend to make them believable individuals who carry traits from their moms without being cardboard copies of the Mane Six.

Take Andromeda for example. Like her mother, she is ambitious, intelligent, and (not seen yet) a natural leader. Because she has grown up with the other children of the Mane Six, she is more in tune with their personalities and tendencies than her mother was with her friends. At the same time, however, she is not as confident as Twilight, nor is she as adept in magic or experienced in Equestria-saving situations. In the future, I'll further show that she has different strengths and different weaknesses.

I just hope more people will be willing to look past the subject matter to see a story that, I believe, has great potential.

hmm good one, saw this story on Da, but then I forgot about it, will follow it here :twilightsmile:

Well this certainly seems interesting. I like the concept quite a bit. I look forward to your next chapter.

2162736
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2165911
Thank you guys so much for reading and supporting my stuff. This story is an updated version of the Deviantart version, so it's not entirely the same! Since I've made sure I've improved it for posting here, anyone who has read it on DA can still get a fresh experience! I will change the Deviantart chapters to the updated Fimfiction ones one chapter at a time as well, so when this is all over, both sites will have the same finished product. =)

2163037

Thanks! I was hesitant to post here because I knew there is always improvement to be made first and I didn't want to post until I felt ready and confident. And yes, new artwork! A friend of mine made the art and she's awesome. I've designed a new poster to be the cover a few chapters down the road and she may design it as well. It's very exciting.

As for Bismarck and Flora, the two are very good friends. They were CMC's together and have one of the closest relationships of all the kids, but the picture is pretty cuddly overall.

Looking forward to more! Hopefully you keep up the writing!

Uao!! The new cover art is very beautiful!!

New cover? Awsome!

But...why are they all shocked/sad?

2224170 Thank Lina. She did a fantastic job with it!

2230090 Thanks! I'm really happy with the new cover. The kids are all shocked/sad because the stakes in this story are high and they will test each of them. There will still be humor and lighthearted chapters, of course, but this story is a tragic adventure overall. Brace yourself. It's going to be a wild ride!

This excerpt causes me great confusion: :applejackunsure:

“We haven’t made your cake yet because we have a big order that needs to be taken care of first,” Berry explained, “but it’ll be ready in plenty of time before your party.”
“Okay, that works. Thanks,” Orion replied. “By the way, where’s your dad today? I don't hear him singing."
"Mr. and Mrs. Cake are making a big delivery to the palace today, so he’s helping them out. That’s the tall order I was just talking about. There's some kind of big event happening soon, so the princess asked for our help with the events! Since they’re gone and will be busy until late, they asked me to say happy birthday for them."

So Berry's parents are the Cakes? I thought Berry and Cherry were PP foals. What happened to Pumpkin and Pound? Did PP actually get adopted? Or did she remarry Mr. Cake after an untimely break-up of the Mr. and Mrs. Cake that we all knew? :applejackunsure:

If there's an explanation that contains spoilers just say that and I'll accept that. :ajsmug:

Or if I missed something completely different.... :ajsleepy:

2230971 You seriously scared me for a moment! Silly Aatxe360....it says "Mr. and Mrs. Cake are making a big delivery to the palace today, so HE'S helping them out." The he that Berry is referring to is the Pie twins' father, Pinkie Pie's husband.

Like this chapter explained, Pinkie is now married and has two children, Berry and Cherry. I don't mention the name or the description of their father because I'm shipping-neutral. I have no opinion one way or the other on who marries the Mane Six other than the fact that they all married stallions and had children.

Since the identities of the fathers have little to no impact on a time travel story where the kids can't just tell their moms who they will marry (you know...existence erasing consequences and all that), I'm not focusing on them. I AM, however, wanting to make their presence known as much as I can so it's plain to see that these kids do have dads that are a part of their lives. It's little things like this that make these characters more believable.

Still, I don't wont confusion, so I've changed the sentence a little bit to "He's helping Mr. and Mrs. Cake with a big delivery to the palace today." Thanks for letting me know. I hope you enjoyed the chapter/story as a whole. Since you're a big AJ fan (like me), you'll want to read my next chapter, which brings us to Applejack and her two boys!

I like the new cover art
I am glad that it was made tell what to expect in the story.
Well only one surprise but so far the kids are ending up with how I thought they end up with.
Meaning that I was wrong with only one. But so far I'm on the mark.
It's shaping up to be really good.
I can't wait to see what going happen next.
I hope that you keep it up

And do not worry I am ready for a wild ride
Good luck and I hope for the best

2231055

Ya, I missed that. My mistake. :ajsmug:

I know I've said this before, but you just never cease to impress me. From the start your stories were good, but it wasn't until later chapters when it truly began getting epic, but now that you've went back and revised these chapters, it's already getting epic!! I'm definitely really excited to see you revise your already epic chapters!!!!:pinkiehappy:
I'm just so amazed and happy at this. I especially loved Berry's joke and Pinkie's revised dialog. I actually paused for a second after reading that and thought, "wow she really sounds mature", then right after that, it highlighted her maturity, lol :rainbowlaugh:. I just love this so much and am super excited to do my reading of it!!:yay:

Dan

Would shipping the Mane 6 with their Cross and Arrow/Giving Love a Helping Hoof counterparts be acceptable to you?

2289783

I'm afraid not. I'm a staunch shipping-neutral when it comes to the Mane Six. It's far more effort than it's worth and knowing who the dads are makes zero impact in my story. I'll give enough information to let the readers know that their fathers are present in their day-to-day lives, but since the children will be time-traveling to a time before the Mane Six were even dating, they don't need very much detail to get the idea.

2231734

Thanks, Crisy, for the amazing comment once again. I'm very glad that you've not only supported me on DA, but Fimfiction as well!

Hmmm... a time travel story involving families with close connections to the court in Canterlot and there just happens to be a big event being set up at the palace.

Chekov, I believe this is your party.

Cool story, hope to see more. :pinkiehappy:

2319707: Thanks! Hope you enjoy my new chapters!

2303745: I have no idea who that is, but yeah, since this is roughly 30 years in the future, Twilight's friends have had a lot of interaction with the Princesses over the years.

2344939 Sorry. I meant that to other author. My bad!

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