Meet Dave an average 19 Year old Guy in College with Friends who is a huge Pokemon Fan and also a Brony.
At least thats who he was before an accident with a Truck who's Driver probably had a Beer too much.
He had expected to wake up in a Hospital with everything white, a loud Beeping Noise and his Friends and Family by his side. But he didn't expected nor wanted to 'wake up' in Heaven with an Angel who said he Died too early but couldn't send him Back to his Live on Earth. So the Angel gave him an Offer, he could stay in Heaven and 'Live' on there or he could send him to another Live in another Universe but in Order to Survive he would need 'Powers' and a new Body .
Powers that Dave would Choose and so he chose. He asked for many things but the Things that were given to him were:
All Bending Technique's from Avatar the Last Airbender
The Powers to manipulate Time so he can Time Travel or 'make' something young again
The Ability to shape Space so he could shape everything he could Imagine
The Ability to shapeshift and Hover/Fly
Telepathy (http://powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Telepathy )
Telekinesis (http://powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Telekinesis )
(The Telekinesis will 'Level Up' depending on how much he uses it wich will be A Lot so therse a Big chance He will get to the Master Level Maybe Ultimate but I doubt It since It would be too OP)
And so He was launched into this new Dimension. But before that he chose a new Body and since he was such a Huge Pokemon Fan he already had a new Body in his Mind and since he didn't wan't to become anything from My Little Pony, he chose his favorite Pokemon a Mew.
So the Angel send him into this new World in the new Dimension, but what he didn't expect was to Land in Equestria. But for now he has to get a hold of his Powers and how to use them all while he hides from Pony kind ... for now. Until a certain Lavender Coated Unicorn, her Friends and her Teacher set out to find the great magical anomaly that happened.
Just so all of you Know this Im German and this is my First Story.
Sorry, but this is bad, even when ignoring all grammatical and spelling errors.
srry bby
displaced is ded
get rekt
Ich muss es zu geben diese geschichte hat viele grammar fehlers und spelling errors. Aber zur gleichen zeit hat dieses fic große Potenzial.
Ich rate dier ein editor und proofreader.
Ich kenne welche wen do willst?
It's a consept that has been used before and, although people say it's dead, quite a few people still read it. However my recommendation to you is to try and put more detail into the characters surroundings as this will make the story longer and more enjoyable to others. But other than that it's a good start for someone who both speaks a foreign language as there first language and for someone who is newer to FimFiction.
-Ever Chaotic, Chaotic Quill
You don't need to capitalize every other word. You only need to capitalize a person, place or thing.
I'm going to have to critisize the fact that the story description pretty much sums up the entire first chapter, thus making it pointless, you could just read the desc, and jump straight to the second chapter without missing anything of importance.
To be fair however I don't think its that big a deal, nearly every HIE fic has a similiar problem, heck, the displaced genre has notoriously
gliche and meaningless prologues before the actual story starts.
That being said, I generally like the idea of the main character being completely overpowered, but sadly stories like these tend to be pretty hit and miss,
either really good or utter rubbish. Here's a couple things you should definitely avoid.
First of all, Don't make the main character overly edgy, angsty or an arrogant douchebag who uses his powers irresponsibly or just for shits & gigles.
You should avoid revealing all of his powers to the ponies right off the bat. I see so much potential for juicy reactions, dropped jaws and widened eyes when he is eighter forced to, or the situation calls for it to use his powers.
Lastly, if there is going to be romance at any point, do not rush it, in fact do not rush the story at all. You should allways describe the the situations and characters in enough detail.
I'd also recommend to read these two stories that are pretty much different ends of the spectrum and possibly take notes on what works and what doesn't
The Super Avatar of Equestria
This one pretty much sums up everything you shouldn't do. I would recommend equipping padded gloves to avoid facepalm induced head injuries.
Star Eater
This is an absolute gem, despite the somewhat meaningless prologue.
I hope you find this helpful and if you keep the chapters under 2000 words, I hope to see frequent updates.
Cheers :)
Hmmm alot of displaced fic i read always has the mc introduced himself so early..
Yes overpowered fics for the win
Continue the power sheet please
This somehow got my interest, but you HAVE to fix these 2 mistakes:
First of all, your grammar is terrible. It is barely readable. You should ask for an editor from this group; https://www.fimfiction.net/group/97/looking-for-editors
An editor is someone who can find and fix your grammar mistakes.
And also, avoid cliches. The-main-character-saving-the-crusaders-from-timberwolves is a very, very overused cliche, and it is exremely annoying.
All Bending Technique's from Avatar the Last Airbender
The Powers to manipulate Time so he can Time Travel or 'make' something young again
The Ability to shape Space so he could shape everything he could Imagine
The Ability to shapeshift and Hover/Fly
Telepathy (http://powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Telepathy )
Telekinesis (http://powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Telekinesis )
(The Telekinesis will 'Level Up' depending on how much he uses it wich will be A Lot so therse a Big chance He will get to the Master Level Maybe Ultimate but I doubt It since It would be OP)
Just the first two powers makes him OP. I am sorry but that is how it is.
7544827 I agree with not overusing his powers for shits and giggles, though every now and then wouldn't be too bad, mew is playful in nature so i kind of expect as much. And i agree with you when you talk about oc's giving away all their abilities, i've read fics in which less than two hours after meeting the ponies, the oc has list in details all their powers, abilities and weaknesses after which they agree to be experimented on by twilight
WTF! who would actually do that, WITH A STRANGER NUN THE LESS, even if said oc is a brony. At this point i've honestly started downvoting and skipping over stories that do that , because very few stories that do that keep my interest for long. But yea this story is off to a good start in my opinion and i'm looking forward to more.
7545207
Ok thank you for the advice and the Link I will ask for an Editor either there or from Navanastra since he said that he knows some and also im definitely rewriting that whole CMC thing, you are right I have seen that 'Intro' so often that It got boring thanks for your help (sorry if you can't read this)
7544827
Thank you for your advice and that 'Super Avatar of Equestria' gave me a Headache before I could finish the first chapter but for Star Eater I have to say that I absolutely love it, its my Favourite Story so far and yes i did find your comment helpful. Thank you very much
Nice choice in character, but one question. Why not shiny mew? I'm glad that someone else is writing a Pokemon displaced fic that doesn't have pikachu or charizard. Those two are so over used. Finally, I notice you put an accent mark on the n in want. You might want to remove them. Great story so far, can't wait for more.
Im getting an amewsing situation vibe from this
Uhhhh! Displaced cliche number 3: cmc being retarded enough to go into a forest full of murdery death an will surely get chased so that the main character will have something to do, if it were me, I would move away from the screams that say something will die not investigate, what if the character wasn't op? Well, at least im the main character
7545727 Am I the only one that thinks that twilight would be the one I would avoid the most one cause way to many question I won't want to answer and second being truthful just the way she acts makes me think that she is one of those will do anything for science or research purposes and I rather not be watched twenty-four/seven. Yeah some of this people really don't under stand keep your tricks to yourself it is great for surprising people and also would make it much harder for people to blame you for shit that they could not possible know you did.
7551738
look what happened when she heard about pinky's pinky sense, what i noticed is that in the end she more or less learnt that some things can't be explained, not that stalking someone is going overboard. But in this case she has something that her neurosis will be able to get results from, whether it's mew's interaction with other creatures, dietary habits, behaviour under stress or when being stalked etc. Considering twilight's workaholic tendencies, along with the lesson zero and the aforementioned pinkie keen incidents, I'm expecting Mew to have a hard time with twilight if no one intervenes, that is if he does not down right hate her... well maybe not hate her, mew seems to be a forgiving person from what character development ive seen so far, but who know, we will just have to wait and see. I know that if she shoved a thermometer up my ass i would do more than teleport away. but i'm interested to see what Boogieman does with the story. Come to think of it how did twilight get him away from fluttershy in the first place?
? He sure as hell did not leave peacefully, and personally i can't see fluttershy letting twilight drag a new creature out of her house struggling if it isn't something really important that can't afford to wait.
I completely agree
7552088 Also I may have no where to talk mostly cause I would tease the ever living hell out of twilight cause of her wanting to know things of course I find my personality most likely a bit like discords in I am more the messing with people just cause it is fun to see how they react.
7553600
I can imagine she would eventually have a breakdown. But that begs the question what was her interaction with discord after his reform if any, i can imagine her trying to interview him, and considering his personality he would probably accept and then answer the questions in his one way.
Depending on her approach i would either give her something not much mind you, or avoid her altogether.
This just popped into my head
Twilight: So what do your Species eat?
You: Well we mostly eat magical creatures like breezes and the occasional unicorn with a talent for magic, but that takes a large group effort,
Twilight: WHATT! you kidnap and eat ponies!
you: i never liked the word kidnap, i prefer surprise adoption.
Twilight: why would you do that!?
You: (raised eyebrow and tilts head) what do you mean? that's just what we eat, besides, when i do, I felt like I could level half Equestria and take Celestia’s lunch money, cheating magical mane commercial and all.
Twilight: (starts to back up) WWhat, so, you and
You: don't look so worried your i wouldn't harm anyone you know, or anyone you don't know for that matter.
Twilight: o...ok then that's good
Spike( (pops out of nowhere and scratches his head) that's good and all but what about twilight
you: what about twilight.
Sike: well would you try to
you: well i need to go i think i left my bed running. See you two later. (gets up and leaves)
7553705 The worse part would be if you are like one of the large legendary Pokemon like Groudon, rayquaza, or any of the legendary birds. With that transforming ability I would be such a pain in the ass cause I would just be like the most threatening looking ones when twilight is nearby just to see if I can make her shut up also now that I think about was the controlling time really needed couldn't he just become Dialga and stop it also I just had a dark though Palkia or Giratina being around discord when he is warping reality now I am curious of what would happen since I think those two are the ones that deal with space and reality.
7553770
I'm relatively sure Giratina would try to kick his ass and put things back to normal as is his duty (i think?) Palkia i'm not sure about tho, i don't remember much about him.
7553770
Oh that is a really good idea and I think I might just use it later on and while I did just think that he would just shape shift without the Powers that the Person/Ponie/Pokemon etc. Would have it would be great just to confuse the Ponies like each day another Legendary or just a 'Common' Pokemon ohh I'm getting many ideas
Edit : Also that whole Time Control was just thought for the mew body because he would just change shape not Powers but now ... I may have to do some reading on legendary Pokemon and for that whole Time Control thing he might just have way better control over Time when he is Dialga
7554215 Well from what I remember from the dungeon games he would either be pissed from not having the space in balance though it would be more likely he is mostly just short tempered at everything and now I am imagining discord and mew playing pranks on everyone in the kingdom and the sounds of mew's giggles spreading across the country side with discords chuckles.
7554233
I can totally see that happening. 
7554226 Well I wish you good luck with it I have had thoughts of trying to do a story but being truthful how little I have really seen of the show and my very common grammar mistakes, (Which ironically my sister is an English major) I have the ideas though like discord they will sometimes vanish from my head as soon as they enter them.
7554249 OH no I think I might have just brought the prank wars to life every barricade the kitchens so the army of muffins that discord creates doesn't escape the pink monsters since they are the only two that can defeat the muffin empire.
7554226
?
Do you mean that his powers are not magic, or that they are a new kind of magic? in either of those situations i see mew distrusting twilight and avoiding her like the plague (i know i'm projecting your story but i just keep seeing Mew and Twilight disagreeing)
7554260
tch the muffin empire will never fall
7554265 Unless the pinkie and mew empires join forces and release their secret weapon sweetie belle the legendary filly who was able to burn orange juice.
7554252
I started writing a story and posted the first chapter after going over it for the 30th time only to pretty much get it back covered in red ink highlighting my hethenistic grammar. So i decided to wait until i'm like halfway through it before giving it to a proofreader and getting it posted. but now schools starting soon so i'm not sure how that will go especially since i decided to restructure it.(Why isn't there a shrug icon!?)
7554275
I can actually see this happening and ending with ponyville as a pastry version of the FOE 
7554284 Yeah I have about three fanfics tracking right now that has discord retiring and having a human replacing him though sadly most of them are either on a hiatus or dead though I have thought of also trying to do one like a pokemon one I saw that I think died as well it was about an aron if I remember right and was a bit sad not to see it continued.
7554296
Could you give me the link to those fics i want to check them out they sounds interesting. It always erks me when amazing fanfics end up dying
7554321 Okay I will give you the two that I have read the most though like I said I usually have some strange thoughts I will give the link to the two of them
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/143677/a-new-lord-of-chaos
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/48741/discords-heir
7554330
thanks
7554366 Tell me what you think now I am going to imagine the great muffin empire lead by derpy fighting the great cupcake empire lead by Pinkie.
7555137
lol sure thing.
7555138 I also find it kind of funny that now that our chat takes up about half the comment section if not more, (In the background the sound of screaming from the cupcakes and muffins being eaten by their rulers since it was most likely not a good idea to put them in charge of their favorite food.)
7555158
Ikr
3.bp.blogspot.com/_XdP6Lp2ceqY/S0K94Fg6ATI/AAAAAAAAGDg/eIv6NYG6vXo/s400/cupcake.PNG
7555158
7555166 Well we can look at the bright side we may have given him an idea or two for some chapters while we are just randomly chatting since we have talked of some random and interesting stuff. (The Jaw music was playing as a large group of cakes was running away at pinkie speeds with a white blur chasing them.)
7555170
Proud to help inspire.
Well there goes pinkies heavy hitters. I can see it now.
mlpforums.com/uploads/post_images/img-2859507-1-8250a6efee88df4c4669ed1b6e7a2b2f.png
7555172 Yeah you will understand why I used Jaws music when you read one of those discord stories I put here cause I thought of using that cause of something funny I read from it I mean being truthful one of them I like enough even know I think it is dead I thought it would be worth re-reading.
7555175
I know the feelin. I reread Griffin the Griffin twice while wating for its sequel Falling Feather to update. it was the first story i read from the Chest game of the gods universe and it's still one of my favorites mostly because of the approach the oc took.
7555181 Just saying I was now thinking of the muffins and cupcake war where they think Pinkie and derpy are monsters eating anyone in their path and the cupcake generals are cakes and started disappearing under a bright white and rainbow blur.
7555508
"Sargent Dark Chocolate, have you seen general Double layer?"
"No i have not lieutenant Cherry sprinkles, i think she went back to HQ to fill in for generals Black forest and Angel"
"that is why i'm here, to escort her to hq."
"Well the last i heard she went to armory to investigate reports of a large white creature on the prowl."
7556296 I think we are creating a tale of tragedy in the most likely funniest of ways with the war of sweets that discord created I am starting to think that this will inspire a whole chapter about the sweet army and their fall against the white and pinkie monsters to that devastated the cupcake army while the grey monster had demolished the muffin army. (The sound of trumpets playing in the back ground with the pudding and pies holding their toppings in front of them.)
7556342
i would not be too surprised to see that. Heck i'd be proud.