• Published 7th Sep 2016
  • 5,983 Views, 98 Comments

A 'Mew' Beginning - TheBoogieman



It was a Beautiful Day outside and David an 19 Year old Guy that was in College enjoyed it. He relaxed on the Beach that was near his Home and drove there soon but when he was halfway there a Truck hit him and he found himself in Heaven with an offer

  • ...
16
 98
 5,983

Chapter 2 : The Awakening

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Twilight Sparkle

Dear Princess Celestia

I just Resently noticed that there was a Huge Magical Outburst In the Everfree and wanted to ask you if you know anything about this?
If you do then I would Like to know if it Is Dangrous or if it is Friendly. If you do not know what It is I would wan't to go take A look at it.
- Your Faithful Student Twilight Sparkle

" Thank you,Spike that would be all," I say and soon the Letter is on it's way to Celestia.

"So anything else I could do for you?" He asks.

"Yes could you make me an Daisy Sandwich,Spike?" I ask him and my Stomach grumbles to emphasize my Point.

"Sure thing,Twilight" he says and goes into the Kitchen to prepare it.

While he does that I'm still thinking about that Magical Outburst Does The Princess know what it was? Or is it another being that is Evil like Discord was? Or is it something Completly new? Maybe it's another being that broke out of their Stone Imprisonment... or- but before I could finish that thought a loud Belch was heard from the Kitchen.

"Twilight it's from the Princess, " he yells and comes out with both the letter and my Sandwich.

I immediately snatch it from his grasp and began reading it.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Spike

After I came out of the Kitchen and Twilight read the Letter she started Panicing. After some time she started mumbling and i heard some short things like "- nothing known about " and "to much magic to be from Tartarus" that whole mumbo jumbo.

But soon she started to go to her Bedroom . I wanted to ask why but then I looked out of one of the Windows and noticed it was getting Dark. I started to follow her to say Goodnight but soon found her already asleep in her Bed. She did have a pretty taxing Day so i whispeed Goodnight and started to retreat to my Bed.

And as i flopped down onto my Bed I started to try to sleep but nothing worked. Then I started to think couldn't they send a Search Party to look for this thing? Well they probably already planned that. What was that Magical Out burst anyways? A new Creatue? Probably when nopony knows about It but what was why is it here and what would It do?

I Looked out of the Window at the Moon and said " I hope they can Handle it "- I stopped and thought about it shortly - " Nah they stopped everything so far what could go that ceature do its not like it has all the Magic in Equestria. " then I closed my Eyes and drifted off to sleep.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

David

"Ugh My Everything hurts " I groaned when I woke up and i was not kidding my Head Hurt,my Arms Hurt,My way too short and small... and Pink... Legs.

Im pretty Sure that my Scream could be Heard trugh the Entie Forest that Surrounded me.

"Wait Forest?" I wanted to ask out lout but out came just the Trademark Giggeling from Mew "giggle"

Then It my Memeories decided to come Back. My Day at the Beach, my Death, the Angel the Offer. Eveything, it was hard to not Break Down and Black Out but before that could Really happen I ignored it and Shoved it Back deeper into my Mind.

I started to Inspect my Body and it was Just like Mew. Pink Body , Long Tail , Little Arms and short legs.

Now onto my Powers what were they? Flying and Hovering but how do I do that?While I was thinking about that I didnt Notice that I started to slowly fly into the Air until I hovered about One Metre off the Ground. I looked down and thought 'well thats one Power down five more to go'

Shapeshifting was another one but how do I do that? Maybe I just have to Concentrate to change my Form.

'I hope It works that way.' I thought but before Icould try there was some Rustling in one of the Bushes that Surrounded me and out of them stepped...

'A Manticore?' It has to be one I thought It looks like one Scorpion Tail,Bat Like Wings two Horns on the Head and big Paws

After we stared at each other for a second it pounced on me and I held my little Arms In front of me to try and Protect myself after some time I noticed it Hung in the Air in that Pose.

So thats the Telekinesis Power. Ok I thought Is that everything I can do with It or can i Do other things too? I tried Pushing It away from me with a shove from my Arms and to my Surprise It did the Manticore flew back into the Bush.

Now that thats done I should find out where I am I stated to Fly through the Forest. All I saw were Trees and Bushes and more Trees and Little fillies that are getting chassed by Timberwolves and - Wait what?I turned around and looked down the Path they Just ran and followed It. I soon Reached a Clearing.

The Three of them were Huddled against a Tree Surrounded by... Timberwolves so I dint Start Hallucinating.

The Little fillies screamed."HELP" and the Timberwolves Pounced on them but before they could rech them Everything suddenly got Grey and Stopped Moving the Wolves Hung in the Air , the fillies stopped mid scream and the Trees and Bushes stpped swaying in the Wind and I just floated looking on the Scene but I soon Noticed the Time didnt just stop and nothing could move no I could move.

I slowly Floated towards the wolves and tapped One of them and were I tapped there was an small Indent. I tapped all the other Ones as well and flew in front of the fillies wich I just now noticed that they looked like Applebloom, Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle.

'So im in Equestria?' I thought myself. At least that would explain the Manticore and the Fact that everything looked so ... Cartoon'ish.

Then I started to Concentrate how could I get out of this Time Stop? Maybe if I think of starting Time? So I tried. It took some Time but Time finally resumed and the First thing that Happened were that the Timberwolves started flying in different Directions, to be exact in the opposite Direction in wich I had touched them. Many of them were smashed against A Tree and got Destroyed other wer simply Obliterated after the Time Resumed and not one Survived.

After I waited shortly too look If there are any more in the Bushes and nothing happened I turned around and Noticed the Cutie Mark Crusaders Looking at me with open mouths.

' This would be an good Time to Test out the Telepathy' I thought and tried to talk to them after some trying It dindt seem to work since they soon Started to ask me Questions about what I am and why I saved them. But I held up my Arms to signal that I currently cantanswer their Questions and It worked since they soon stopped. I started to concentrate again and It worked after I thought about delivering the Question to these Three fillies.

'What are you doing out Here all alone Little fillies?' I asked. I already knew why they are Here but I didnt want to be suspicious.

They looked around for a Little while to see where the Voice came from until I waved my Arms Infront of their Eyes and Pointed at me.

" Well Mister we were Crusading out here in the Woods for our Cutiemarks, we wanted to get one in Monster Taming but then these Timberwolves started to Chase us and we got back up against a Tree, but then you saved us !" Said Sweetie Belle.

'Yes that Is true but shouldnt you be Home in your Beds? It is Dark Outside afterall.' I asked them, but the Answer was Pretty obvious since they are the CMC.

"Yeah if mah Sister finds out about this I'll get grounded for sure!" Said Applebloom with an Sad look on her Face.

'Yes lets go' I said and Lifted them Into the Air with an Up Motion off my Arms.

"You can Make us Fly ?" Asked Scootaloo with a glint in her Eyes

'Well I wouldnt call It flying more Like Levitating and I cant do It forever without some Training' I answered.

But Really I have to Train at some Point so that I know what I can and what I can not do. I mean if I train I should Probably find out more about all of my Powers and How good Control I have over them.

'Now anyways In wich direction Is your Home young Ones?' I asked since I seriously didnt know wich way we would have to go to get out of The Everfree.

" In that Dircetion Mister." Sweetie Pointed in the Direction they came from when they got into the Clearing.

I then started to fly into that Direction with the CMC hovering after me. It was a Relativley Short Journey but when we got out of the Forest we were at Sweet Apple Acres and the Sun slowly started to come out and with It came Applejack she looked pretty Upset and worried I set the Three off them down.

" We never got your Name Mister, can you tell us?" Sweetie asked and before I could Protest they all gave me the Puppy Eyes I just couldnt withstand the Cuteness Overload.

'*sigh* my name is'- What should my Name be should I still go with Dave or myabe Mew?-' my Name is Mew' Yeah my I decided that my Old Name was for my Old Life and Im in the Body of Mew in a New Life so why keep my Old Name?

I gave Applejack one Last Wave and then Dissapeared into the Forest. The Last thing I heard was.

"Applebloom why were you in the Everfree and what was that Creature!" She yelled at her and she said

"Applejack that was Mew and he just saved us from Timberwo-" It was at this Moment that I dint hear anything from them anymore.

I searched myself a big Tree and laid myself on a Branch to Sleep and after an while Sleep finally greeted me but not before I heard an very qiet

"Thank you." Then Sleep finally greeted me.
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

{Telekinesis: Base Level}
{Telepathy: Base Level}
{Bending Techniches: Unused, No Control}
{Time Manipulation : 1 Use, Almost No control}
{Space Manipulation : Unused, No control}
{Hover/Fly Ability : Good Control}
{Shapeshift Ability: Unused, No control}

Author's Note:

Hey Guys again thank you all for Reading and Criticisim is appreciated also later on i might just give you Guys Options .

Also Sorry if any of the Characters are acting OoC :twilightoops:

And again if you find any mistakes in this story please point them out

If you want me to Continue that Ability 'Sheet' at the End please say so In the Comments

-Thanks

Comments ( 85 )
Shocks #1 · Sep 7th, 2016 · · 5 ·

srry bby

displaced is ded

get rekt

It's a consept that has been used before and, although people say it's dead, quite a few people still read it. However my recommendation to you is to try and put more detail into the characters surroundings as this will make the story longer and more enjoyable to others. But other than that it's a good start for someone who both speaks a foreign language as there first language and for someone who is newer to FimFiction.

-Ever Chaotic, Chaotic Quill

You don't need to capitalize every other word. You only need to capitalize a person, place or thing.

I'm going to have to critisize the fact that the story description pretty much sums up the entire first chapter, thus making it pointless, you could just read the desc, and jump straight to the second chapter without missing anything of importance.
To be fair however I don't think its that big a deal, nearly every HIE fic has a similiar problem, heck, the displaced genre has notoriously
gliche and meaningless prologues before the actual story starts.

That being said, I generally like the idea of the main character being completely overpowered, but sadly stories like these tend to be pretty hit and miss,
either really good or utter rubbish. Here's a couple things you should definitely avoid.
First of all, Don't make the main character overly edgy, angsty or an arrogant douchebag who uses his powers irresponsibly or just for shits & gigles.
You should avoid revealing all of his powers to the ponies right off the bat. I see so much potential for juicy reactions, dropped jaws and widened eyes when he is eighter forced to, or the situation calls for it to use his powers.
Lastly, if there is going to be romance at any point, do not rush it, in fact do not rush the story at all. You should allways describe the the situations and characters in enough detail.

I'd also recommend to read these two stories that are pretty much different ends of the spectrum and possibly take notes on what works and what doesn't
The Super Avatar of Equestria
This one pretty much sums up everything you shouldn't do. I would recommend equipping padded gloves to avoid facepalm induced head injuries.

Star Eater
This is an absolute gem, despite the somewhat meaningless prologue.

I hope you find this helpful and if you keep the chapters under 2000 words, I hope to see frequent updates.
Cheers :)

Hmmm alot of displaced fic i read always has the mc introduced himself so early..

Yes overpowered fics for the win :rainbowkiss:

Continue the power sheet please

This somehow got my interest, but you HAVE to fix these 2 mistakes:

First of all, your grammar is terrible. It is barely readable. You should ask for an editor from this group; https://www.fimfiction.net/group/97/looking-for-editors
An editor is someone who can find and fix your grammar mistakes.

And also, avoid cliches. The-main-character-saving-the-crusaders-from-timberwolves is a very, very overused cliche, and it is exremely annoying.

All Bending Technique's from Avatar the Last Airbender
The Powers to manipulate Time so he can Time Travel or 'make' something young again
The Ability to shape Space so he could shape everything he could Imagine
The Ability to shapeshift and Hover/Fly
Telepathy (http://powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Telepathy )
Telekinesis (http://powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Telekinesis )
(The Telekinesis will 'Level Up' depending on how much he uses it wich will be A Lot so therse a Big chance He will get to the Master Level Maybe Ultimate but I doubt It since It would be OP)

Just the first two powers makes him OP. I am sorry but that is how it is.

7544827 I agree with not overusing his powers for shits and giggles, though every now and then wouldn't be too bad, mew is playful in nature so i kind of expect as much. And i agree with you when you talk about oc's giving away all their abilities, i've read fics in which less than two hours after meeting the ponies, the oc has list in details all their powers, abilities and weaknesses after which they agree to be experimented on by twilight :facehoof: WTF! who would actually do that, WITH A STRANGER NUN THE LESS, even if said oc is a brony. At this point i've honestly started downvoting and skipping over stories that do that , because very few stories that do that keep my interest for long. But yea this story is off to a good start in my opinion and i'm looking forward to more.

7545207
Ok thank you for the advice and the Link I will ask for an Editor either there or from Navanastra since he said that he knows some and also im definitely rewriting that whole CMC thing, you are right I have seen that 'Intro' so often that It got boring thanks for your help (sorry if you can't read this)

7544827
Thank you for your advice and that 'Super Avatar of Equestria' gave me a Headache before I could finish the first chapter but for Star Eater I have to say that I absolutely love it, its my Favourite Story so far and yes i did find your comment helpful. Thank you very much :pinkiehappy:

Nice choice in character, but one question. Why not shiny mew? I'm glad that someone else is writing a Pokemon displaced fic that doesn't have pikachu or charizard. Those two are so over used. Finally, I notice you put an accent mark on the n in want. You might want to remove them. Great story so far, can't wait for more.

Im getting an amewsing situation vibe from this

Uhhhh! Displaced cliche number 3: cmc being retarded enough to go into a forest full of murdery death an will surely get chased so that the main character will have something to do, if it were me, I would move away from the screams that say something will die not investigate, what if the character wasn't op? Well, at least im the main character

7545727 Am I the only one that thinks that twilight would be the one I would avoid the most one cause way to many question I won't want to answer and second being truthful just the way she acts makes me think that she is one of those will do anything for science or research purposes and I rather not be watched twenty-four/seven. Yeah some of this people really don't under stand keep your tricks to yourself it is great for surprising people and also would make it much harder for people to blame you for shit that they could not possible know you did.

7551738
I completely agree :moustache: look what happened when she heard about pinky's pinky sense, what i noticed is that in the end she more or less learnt that some things can't be explained, not that stalking someone is going overboard. But in this case she has something that her neurosis will be able to get results from, whether it's mew's interaction with other creatures, dietary habits, behaviour under stress or when being stalked etc. Considering twilight's workaholic tendencies, along with the lesson zero and the aforementioned pinkie keen incidents, I'm expecting Mew to have a hard time with twilight if no one intervenes, that is if he does not down right hate her... well maybe not hate her, mew seems to be a forgiving person from what character development ive seen so far, but who know, we will just have to wait and see. I know that if she shoved a thermometer up my ass i would do more than teleport away. but i'm interested to see what Boogieman does with the story. Come to think of it how did twilight get him away from fluttershy in the first place?:trixieshiftright:? He sure as hell did not leave peacefully, and personally i can't see fluttershy letting twilight drag a new creature out of her house struggling if it isn't something really important that can't afford to wait.

7552088 Also I may have no where to talk mostly cause I would tease the ever living hell out of twilight cause of her wanting to know things of course I find my personality most likely a bit like discords in I am more the messing with people just cause it is fun to see how they react.

7553600
:rainbowlaugh: I can imagine she would eventually have a breakdown. But that begs the question what was her interaction with discord after his reform if any, i can imagine her trying to interview him, and considering his personality he would probably accept and then answer the questions in his one way.

Depending on her approach i would either give her something not much mind you, or avoid her altogether.

This just popped into my head

Twilight: So what do your Species eat?
You: Well we mostly eat magical creatures like breezes and the occasional unicorn with a talent for magic, but that takes a large group effort,
Twilight: WHATT! you kidnap and eat ponies!
you: i never liked the word kidnap, i prefer surprise adoption.
Twilight: why would you do that!?
You: (raised eyebrow and tilts head) what do you mean? that's just what we eat, besides, when i do, I felt like I could level half Equestria and take Celestia’s lunch money, cheating magical mane commercial and all.
Twilight: (starts to back up) WWhat, so, you and
You: don't look so worried your i wouldn't harm anyone you know, or anyone you don't know for that matter.
Twilight: o...ok then that's good
Spike( (pops out of nowhere and scratches his head) that's good and all but what about twilight
you: what about twilight.
Sike: well would you try to
you: well i need to go i think i left my bed running. See you two later. (gets up and leaves)

7553705 The worse part would be if you are like one of the large legendary Pokemon like Groudon, rayquaza, or any of the legendary birds. With that transforming ability I would be such a pain in the ass cause I would just be like the most threatening looking ones when twilight is nearby just to see if I can make her shut up also now that I think about was the controlling time really needed couldn't he just become Dialga and stop it also I just had a dark though Palkia or Giratina being around discord when he is warping reality now I am curious of what would happen since I think those two are the ones that deal with space and reality.

7553770
I'm relatively sure Giratina would try to kick his ass and put things back to normal as is his duty (i think?) Palkia i'm not sure about tho, i don't remember much about him.

7553770
Oh that is a really good idea and I think I might just use it later on and while I did just think that he would just shape shift without the Powers that the Person/Ponie/Pokemon etc. Would have it would be great just to confuse the Ponies like each day another Legendary or just a 'Common' Pokemon ohh I'm getting many ideas :pinkiecrazy:
Edit : Also that whole Time Control was just thought for the mew body because he would just change shape not Powers but now ... I may have to do some reading on legendary Pokemon and for that whole Time Control thing he might just have way better control over Time when he is Dialga

7554215 Well from what I remember from the dungeon games he would either be pissed from not having the space in balance though it would be more likely he is mostly just short tempered at everything and now I am imagining discord and mew playing pranks on everyone in the kingdom and the sounds of mew's giggles spreading across the country side with discords chuckles.

7554233
:pinkiehappy: I can totally see that happening. :pinkiehappy:

7554226 Well I wish you good luck with it I have had thoughts of trying to do a story but being truthful how little I have really seen of the show and my very common grammar mistakes, (Which ironically my sister is an English major) I have the ideas though like discord they will sometimes vanish from my head as soon as they enter them.

7554249 OH no I think I might have just brought the prank wars to life every barricade the kitchens so the army of muffins that discord creates doesn't escape the pink monsters since they are the only two that can defeat the muffin empire.

7554226

shape shift without the Powers that the Person/Ponie/Pokemon etc. Would have

?

Do you mean that his powers are not magic, or that they are a new kind of magic? in either of those situations i see mew distrusting twilight and avoiding her like the plague (i know i'm projecting your story but i just keep seeing Mew and Twilight disagreeing)

7554260
tch the muffin empire will never fall

7554265 Unless the pinkie and mew empires join forces and release their secret weapon sweetie belle the legendary filly who was able to burn orange juice.

7554252
I started writing a story and posted the first chapter after going over it for the 30th time only to pretty much get it back covered in red ink highlighting my hethenistic grammar. So i decided to wait until i'm like halfway through it before giving it to a proofreader and getting it posted. but now schools starting soon so i'm not sure how that will go especially since i decided to restructure it.(Why isn't there a shrug icon!?)

7554275
:rainbowlaugh: I can actually see this happening and ending with ponyville as a pastry version of the FOE :rainbowlaugh:

7554284 Yeah I have about three fanfics tracking right now that has discord retiring and having a human replacing him though sadly most of them are either on a hiatus or dead though I have thought of also trying to do one like a pokemon one I saw that I think died as well it was about an aron if I remember right and was a bit sad not to see it continued.

7554296
Could you give me the link to those fics i want to check them out they sounds interesting. It always erks me when amazing fanfics end up dying

7554321 Okay I will give you the two that I have read the most though like I said I usually have some strange thoughts I will give the link to the two of them
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/143677/a-new-lord-of-chaos
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/48741/discords-heir

7554366 Tell me what you think now I am going to imagine the great muffin empire lead by derpy fighting the great cupcake empire lead by Pinkie.

7555137
lol sure thing.

7555138 I also find it kind of funny that now that our chat takes up about half the comment section if not more, (In the background the sound of screaming from the cupcakes and muffins being eaten by their rulers since it was most likely not a good idea to put them in charge of their favorite food.)

7555166 Well we can look at the bright side we may have given him an idea or two for some chapters while we are just randomly chatting since we have talked of some random and interesting stuff. (The Jaw music was playing as a large group of cakes was running away at pinkie speeds with a white blur chasing them.)

7555170
Proud to help inspire.:ajsmug:

Well there goes pinkies heavy hitters. I can see it now.
mlpforums.com/uploads/post_images/img-2859507-1-8250a6efee88df4c4669ed1b6e7a2b2f.png

7555172 Yeah you will understand why I used Jaws music when you read one of those discord stories I put here cause I thought of using that cause of something funny I read from it I mean being truthful one of them I like enough even know I think it is dead I thought it would be worth re-reading.

7555175
I know the feelin. I reread Griffin the Griffin twice while wating for its sequel Falling Feather to update. it was the first story i read from the Chest game of the gods universe and it's still one of my favorites mostly because of the approach the oc took.

7555181 Just saying I was now thinking of the muffins and cupcake war where they think Pinkie and derpy are monsters eating anyone in their path and the cupcake generals are cakes and started disappearing under a bright white and rainbow blur.

7555508
"Sargent Dark Chocolate, have you seen general Double layer?"
"No i have not lieutenant Cherry sprinkles, i think she went back to HQ to fill in for generals Black forest and Angel"
"that is why i'm here, to escort her to hq."
"Well the last i heard she went to armory to investigate reports of a large white creature on the prowl." :trollestia::trollestia::trollestia::trollestia::trollestia::trollestia::trollestia::trollestia::trollestia:

7556296 I think we are creating a tale of tragedy in the most likely funniest of ways with the war of sweets that discord created I am starting to think that this will inspire a whole chapter about the sweet army and their fall against the white and pinkie monsters to that devastated the cupcake army while the grey monster had demolished the muffin army. (The sound of trumpets playing in the back ground with the pudding and pies holding their toppings in front of them.)

7556342
i would not be too surprised to see that. Heck i'd be proud. :ajsmug:

7557049 I like how we some how got from talking about how we don't trust twilight and some how end up at cupcake and muffin wars.

7557115
Yea the best conversations are often like that. :eeyup:

Login or register to comment