• Member Since 11th Jul, 2014
  • offline last seen 7 hours ago


Just a nice, polite Canadian.


Having recently lost his beloved Crystal Empire and only known profession all in one swoop, King Sombra suddenly finds himself in immediate need of employment.

Now if only someone would hire him already.

Chapters (3)
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Comments ( 93 )

God... This story was a riot. Sombra's method of making money. Hypnosis...:rainbowlaugh:

Yay! The fabled return of Som-bro has come! :yay:

Somehow that didn’t cause Sombra’s grin to disappear. “Although I am still more likeable than that sub sandwich guy right now.”

R.I.P Jared Fogle.

Next up, will Sombra get that used car job?

Can't find a summer job eh?

Brilliant! Although, what corporate giant wouldn't take advantage of hypnotism?

Decent as a way to stop Sombra from maliciously deleting your account.

And that's about it.

I would've hired him the second he walked in.

If you don't want Sombra send him to me. We have to catch up. ~hug

This was funny. The transition to Sombra being hired was jarring though, Charles seemed dead set against hiring Sombra, then somehow he reaches the conclusion the best way to spend the minimum amount of time with Sombra was to hire him.

I am better in my Interviews. I am terrible at work.

“You want to touch it? It’s really soft.”


Sombra could Sell Stones Blocks for artists who do sculptur work... with Stones. He can conjure crystals, Rocks etcetera, right?

I finally started on the Bad dude fanart: BD in Full body sombra pajamas. Need to shade everything.

Or a used car salesman. I’ve heard they’re quite terrible people underneath their friendly exterior.

OMG this was PRICELESS! Actually, I'd prefer Sombra to a used car salesman any day, but that's just me :rainbowlaugh:

Damn it, Sombra! Steve is going to be pissed.... or maybe not if he actually returns with rent money.

I do wonder that if Sombra was a mare if you could right the character with the same insanity. Probably wouldn't make a difference.

7209446 If it were Queen Umbra (Is that r63 Sombra?) she'd probably try to seduce the manager and become his Queen. She's do terribly, of course, but it's the thought that counts.

Also, yo derpy. You did it again. Sandwich guy gets paid for being disliked. You should fire him, because if Sombra was at Starbucks (I've never tried Starbucks, sue me (Don't actually sue me Starbucks pls)) I'd totally buy things.

Well, I've been out of uni for a year with no job. Perhaps I should try Sombra's approach. :rainbowlaugh:

Funny... I had to show up with copies of my resume for at least three days in a row before the owner of the bookstore I worked in hired me out of badgering. "I mean, either way is fine, just let me know. Number's at the top. See you tomorrow." ...in fact... It also burned down, but sad, not funny. (We had cats there :fluttercry:, and books from the 1500's :twilightangry2:.)

Anyway, apparently I could learn something from Sombra. 'How to Win Customers and Force HR to Talk to You'. :facehoof:

I wonder what Steve had to threaten him with to get him to this point...:trixieshiftright:

No joke, I got the best job I ever had by showing up and bothering the owner of a bookstore every day :yay:. It's worth a shot, but you should probably go for a softer sell than K. Sombra. Or not. That might be why I didn't get the job at the D/s club. :pinkiehappy:

Sombra should hire himself out as an office party Chippendale. I mean with a body like that along with his bad boy attitude, sign me up as his first client!

You know... I've got the same problem as he did but I'm not sure I could pull that off without getting murdered. It is worth a shot though...

North Korea hires Sombra to be the new Dear Leader when the fat little fascist pig currently in charge accidentally dies from falling down an elevator shaft onto some bullets.

And Sombra actually does a better job...


Was about halfway through another Discord one-shot when Sombra literally broke into my house and cried until I wrote about him again.

He broke into my house last week and was crying too.

I just laughed and stole his lunch money.

Follow up: Sombra joins the Freemasons and 48 hours later is made Chief inspector of the metropolitan police.

We need a story were an incarnation of Sombra, like this one, goes around, accidentally destroying whatever fictional or alternate universes he comes across by simply looking for a job.

Something like Sombra landing in the middle of Half-Life 2's City 17 Citadel, begging the Overseer for a job, and brainwashing Gordon Freeman into sticking his head into a blender.

A story about an epic job hunt? and it's written by naturalbornderpy!

Okay, I'm sold, what do we got here?

My curiosity was only increased tenfold when someone loudly rapt on my door—hard enough to leave marks, I was sure.

What's the meaning of rapt when used as a verb? Google and Dictionary.com only have it as an adjective and that doesn't seem to work here.

“Although I am still more likeable than that sub sandwich guy right now.”

He had me there.

Now I must ask, who, and why. What did the "sub sandwich guy" do?

Was about halfway through another Discord one-shot when Sombra literally broke into my house and cried until I wrote about him again.
That cute little bastard. :twilightangry2:



7210276 Dude! :fluttershysad: How could you? He needs his mid-day snacks!

7210013 What a silly thing to say... :moustache: Me too... front row...

7209605 I picked Starbucks because I hate Starbucks. Tim Hortons all the way! :yay:

7209529 Yes. Bow to my below averageness. :eeyup:

7209446 Queen Umbra would be similar, but a bit different.

Fun fact: the only time I ever truly thought about doing clop involved Queen Umbra and the mane six plus Celestia and Luna. What a... terrible few minutes there. :facehoof:

7208706 I'd love to see that artwork. Please post it if you finish it!

7208265 That's basically the author saying, "Out of material? Over 2k? Looks like we're done here!" :ajbemused:

7208180 This is weird. I'm noticing my followers are divided into categories: Sombra, Discord, changelings, dark stories, fluff stories. If only I could write a story with all of them!

7207966 Actually, I'm trying to get out of my current job. It's terrible! :twistnerd:

7207934 I was debating making this into a series. Starbucks, Walmart, Dennys, ect. But it might become the same thing again and again. But you never know! Maybe Sombra opens up his own business at some point.

7207905 Slightly. Only for those that have read "Unmotivated" before. Which should be everyone! :flutterrage:

7210665 I love this type of Sombra: totally alien mindset, efficient, stubborn, not afraid to get his hand dirty. Not the filtered stupid one in Bad Dude. (Yes, I know that story has an everyone rating, you cannot allow Sombra to be himself)

Sombra is like grumpy cute pet and if l lived with him he would not be the most annoying person I have stayed with. He just needs little conditioning. He would be an okay housemate in my list of the people I have stayed with.

OK! WE GET IT! Susan is... larger than life!
Why can't King Sombra work for Taco Bueno? Taco Bell has a chihuahua so logically Taco Bueno should have Bueno Sombrero!
Jared Fogle is... sub-par to K. Sombra.
Did he really just... Bask in the glory of a Baskin Robin fire?


Send my way, god knows I need more income

Seems like a legit way to find customers.
Are there any laws against hypnotizing them to take their money, anyway?

On an unrelated note, the way Charles, Susan and (sadly off-screen) Steve reacted to the existence of an evil talking pony with dark magical powers makes me want to know more about the world they live in.

Damn man, back at it again with the Sombra stories. :twilightsmile:

7211790 with the mention of Steve, I think it's one of his previous stories.
Edit: "Sombra The Highly Unmotivated" I think.
Edit2: then again he calls other characters Steve too.

7211790 You could consider this in the "Post Unmotivated Verse" -- with humans used to ponies and changelings and griffons for the most part. "Pony Break" and "(Not My) Home Sweet Home" are sort of in this verse.

More comedic Sombra? I am pleased.

7210643 I'm more evil than anything! THAT'S HOW I COULD DO IT!!! Now behold as I steal Chrysalis' favorite blankie! :pinkiecrazy:

Directing movies is definitely the best way for Sombra to go.

Truly, job hunting is the great equalizer among the good and evil alike. But not the wealthy. They have connections.

you killed me you son of a bitch :rainbowlaugh: now where will you get a personal youtube reading oh well guess my ghost will get to it when i can

I’m also in serious need the money right now.

forgotten 'of'.

My instagram followers

I'm fairly sure that Instagram is capitalized.

Also, yes, Sombra should be everyone's thing.

Pearls before swines!

Not especially fond of that usage of the word "plot", but yes, this chapter was very funny. And cute. :derpytongue2:

Author's Note:
Don't blame me. Blame Hail King Sombra for putting this horrible idea into my head.
And I guess blame Sombra too for being so stupidly sexy all the time. :fluttershbad:

Or we could blame the guy that actually made and posted this chapter coughnaturalbornderpycough.
Well at least I got a good laugh out of it. It was one of those it's so bad it's good sort of things.

Didn't the company think about giving him suiting stripping music?

That's kinda important.


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