Rainbow Dash wants to write a rap. Somehow this leads to Sunset Shimmer explaining how magic in Equestria works.
Warning: Contains rapping, logic, and stupid headcanon
Chapters (1)
- Member Since 15th Jan, 2015
- offline last seen 4 hours ago
CalmAndInsane
Calm enough to know I'm insane. Insane enough to be calm about it.
CalmAndInsane
Joined 15th Jan, 2015 ·
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In your long description, you accidentally typed "Equestira".
I like it. The idea of rhyming having power is always fun.
So if Hodor or Groot were capable of using magic, would they be incapable of using this rhyming method, or able to think literally anything they wanted and make it a spell?
Maybe use that one language from Doctor Who.
Head-canon, accepted, complete with cannons!
Okay. This does not touch my headcanon at all, but was nonetheless a funny read. It aspired to be nothing more than a comedic exploration of unicorn magic, and did so perfectly.
upvote and fave.
Would you be offended if I were to describe my view on how magic is recorded? Might give you an idea (or eight) for new funny stories?
That was a good story also after Twilight fixed Starswirls spell it did rhymed to
7144341 Doesn't that make for a poor first impression. Fixed now. Thanks for the heads up.
7144766 Feel free to share your ideas on how MLP magic works, even if they do rebuke my own. Though I warn you, posting them implies consent to me turning them into stories. Ideas will receive proper credit of course. If you're the more secretive type, feel free to PM them to me.
-Calm
All opinons are welcome, even if they're wrong.
-Insane
7145317
It seemed to me that you were interested in world building and would enjoy dissecting ideas presented to you. And then making a Frankenstein's Monster out of the organs of various ideas. I know that I enjoy doing that.
There are nine forms of spell notation. Each form is suited for a different style of thought (ie, good at math or music or language). Any spell can be written in any form, but the difficulty of the spell can vary if using a bad form (emotion manipulation is easy with music notation, difficult with math notation.) With rhyming, a spell that is written in linguistic format would be easier to memorize if it was a poem or song, and so having it rhyme is useful.
Example: 9 forms of basic Levitation in the nine elements/forms of magic.
Metal: looks like a physics formula. It is using magic to subtly mess with gravity. Effectively a gravity spell
Earth: Mentally repeating a word like lift, rise, up. Earth magic translates the desired word into magic effect, more advanced magic uses words and rhymes
Plant: humming/imagining a single note of music. The magic takes it from there (more advanced spells have more music notes. Cadence routinely preforms entire symphonies in her head to cast her love spells)
Water: precisely make a mental diagram of the desired path of motion, including force vector arrows.
Fire: mentally command/order it to move to a specific point.
Air: Makes the air exert force. done with basic thinking processes.
Light: create a mental pattern where regular physics is overlapped with the desired set of hypothetical physics, changing how light interacts with matter to allow the light to exert a macroscopic force in the desired direction
Shadow: reach through parallel dimensions to select a dimension where the levitation is actually the object sitting on a surface that is the desired altitude and orientation. link the native object to its parallel reality version and make it mirror the desired location.
Spirit: Imagine the object floating. The magic proceeds to transform the surrounding area into a 'soft zone' between the physical world and the spirit world. In the spirit world selected, pure will then lifts the object.
Now I'm thinking Zecora rhymes all the time to keep herself limber for a magical rap battle.
7145317
Considering your story was more than pretty decent, I figured you'd want to correct that. When I see stories with a typo or ten in their titles, descriptions, and chapter names, it makes me cringe. The fact that it was the only typo that jumped out at me for the whole story, I was impressed. Proofreading is a lost art...
Interesting I wonder if you could expand this with a sequel having a Magic duel between Starswirl and some great dark Wizard. It would be awesome plus you could make the cover art be a thug Starswirl. You could call it Straight Out of Clopton.
Thug love, Twi. Thug love.
What about whenever ponies randomly burst into song? Or are spontaneous choreographed musical numbers completely unrelated?
7147121 I always assumed that was the Magic of Harmony or something. Have you ever seen two rappers make the same rap at the same time? I'm assuming the answer is no.
7146649 The problem with a written rap battle is that it turns into a poetry slam. While still cool, poetry slams are not rap battles. If I, or any one else, could assemble a team to turn it into a video, I would totally do something like that.
7145424 That... That's a wall of text. I feel like you only barely scratched the surface with it too. I see you took the Chinese and Greek elemental systems and fused them with a third thing that I'm not sure of. Overall that's a cool idea with one thing preventing me from adding it to my head-canon, lack of proof. I can't argue for or against it based purely on the TV show and movies. There very well may be a comic that touches on it, but I'm haven't read all those yet. That being said, I'm totally going to keep an eye out for anything like that in the future.
-Calm
Simultaneous rapping is hard. Poetry slams are awesome. Calm overdoes it on logic.
-Insane
Awesome story. Just hilarious!
7147391 Awesome
That episode was a mess, wasn't it? Starswirl's spell just doesn't really fit in. The rhyme idea kinda works, I guess, except for its complete and glaring absence in every other magical event on the show. Including while Twilight was practicing new spells, like the apple-to-orange transformation spell in Too Many Pinkie Pies. Special talent or not, she was struggling with that spell-- wouldn't she want to use the rhyme for that?
I'm going to just pretend that Starswirl's spell was actually in some kind of abstract spell notation, and the poem is Hollywood shorthand for the lengthy and rather dull process of actually deciphering the technical details.
By analogy, a programmer tasked with completing someone else's unfinished (and poorly commented) work, trying to figure out what it does in the first place, might spend hours just scrolling through code, pulling up references, and so on. But when they make a movie about it, they show him typing furiously and speaking in sentence fragments for about 30 seconds, while gibberish flashes on the screen.
So what actually happened (I imagine) is that Twilight read through all of Starswirl's notes-- that whole book, possibly-- then grabbed some scratch paper and mapped out the procedure. Once she had figured out how the components of the spell would interact and where the magic would go, she cast the spell a few times, slowly, trying to figure out exactly what it was doing. But it didn't seem to do anything. She looked through her notes again, tried a few minor variations, but no matter what she did, the spell just didn't seem to do anything at all. So she gave up in frustration, put the spell away, and resolved to start fresh in the morning.
Because the alternative is that Twilight Sparkle, given access to a previously unknown historical record, a lost spell from the most important conjurer of the pre-classical era, read two lines and then put it away so she could go to bed.
And suddenly I'm picturing Twilight spitting verses faster than Eminem in 'Rap god'... It's an interesting thing to see.
*Edit*
I forgot to mention that, in my head, she's chain casting during said rap.
l.wigflip.com/DOHuk8TN/roflbot.jpg
7150351 I totally agree, Twilight was very out of character for large portions of that episode. But that's the thing, Twilight is a character in a TV show. I'm very 'by-the-book' when it comes to how things happened in a TV show, movie, or book. Now if a dimension hopping pony or, more realistically, one of the writers tell us that that's not actually how it happened, or how they wanted X to happen but it was cut because of reason Y, then their word overrides whatever is shown. I know it's kind of backwards of me, but that's how I choose to interpret these things.
-Calm
I'm calm enough to realize how ridiculous it is, but I'm insane enough to stick with it anyway.
-Insane
...So if Eminem went to Equestria, and was turned into a unicorn... How powerful would he be?
7150351
I head cannoned that it wasnt a (unicorn) spell at all, but rather a self target and operation code for the elements themselves.
Which would also explain sunset "not being ready" when she was Celestia's student, in her state at the time the elements even if available may have seen her as a problem to be solved rather than an alicorn to be made.
7160545
Well you, my good sir, have just started a war.
I read through your rap. I found it quite the bore.
I find myself wondering just where the beat is,
Doesn't matter though, you'll still be defeated.
Keep your hands off my s**t, stop your silly hissy fit.
Your quite the nitwit, please tone it down a bit.
I'm Insane, bring the pain, a weather team, I make it rain.
Also Calm, won't be long, droppin' rhymes throughout my song.
Don't be thinking you're a star, all you do is drop the bar.
I'm ahead of you so far. Keep your hands inside the car.
I'll beat you with your belt, why don't you tell me how it felt?
Hunt you down. Hollow round. Gone before you hit the ground.
Rap spittin' all the day. Why you coming out to play?
Keep your awful raps away or Calm/ Insane will make you pay.
Also thanks for pointing out those mistakes. I was hoping that with how many people had read it there weren't any, but you have a keener eye than most.
I'm going to read this one later, but couldn't help but comment on this:
That has got to be one of the single greatest chapter titles I have ever seen.
7160894
To me, chapter titles are just as important as the title of the story itself. So thank you for the complement.
7160709
Meanwhile inside my mind:
Oh man, oh no! Calm what we gunn'a do?
This guy's making us look worse than Scrappy-fricken-Doo
-Insane
Insane, relax. I've got this in the bag.
You know I never bluff, but I also never brag.
-Calm
You're a bit like a satellite, going a whole lot of nowhere,
Hanging around something bigger so that someone knows you're there.
I keep Calm and carry on. In the royal sort of way,
Such a shame it's something a sad sack like you can't say.
Kinetic bombardment? Please, I doubt you even lift.
And schizophrenia? No, this is what you call a gift
I got twice the thoughts in my dual-core mind.
Leaving weak rappers behind.
You should go get back in line.
Less you step out to resign?
Let me give you some space, a thousand three hundred light years.
That's how long it takes for your raps to reach my ears.
I don't know how they came up with your constellation,
But it had to be something to do with what they were taking.
My time is valuable. I do work, nearly get to front pages.
Keep your poor prose away cuz it might contagious.
Don't make me call Luna. She'll put you in your place.
Unruly, underwhelming constillations get erased.
If I didn't want the space used, I wouldn't have responded. Though if I respond again it'll probably be by PM.
Edit: I had to run off to work and forgot to mention that, yes, this is all in good fun. I'm rather amazed that this is happening and it is super cool.
...rap battles in the comments. Well, I can't rap but now I wonder if you can wear a wizard hat backward... does the Hogwarts sorting hat count?
You can, but it's impossible to tell the difference.
Oh, wow, that had me laughing. That's just a hilarious idea. I can really only say that this story is exactly what it says on the tin, and it's great.
Oh, this really explains so much. No wonder they start spontaneously singing all over the place. A good third of them are doing it all the time anyway.
You know, I'd really get a kick out of a sequel to this. Twilight Gangsta and the Elements of Thuggery.
this was a lot of fun to read. you made some great points and fantastic connections. I liked the rap, which is more than I can say for most "rap" type
words that rhyme awkwardly and arhythmicallythings I've read in stories.I'm somewhat curious about why Sunset and Twilight were late to practice though since neither character seems like they would be late to things without worrying. I did enjoy the broadness of the scene-building to give a general explanation without feeling overbearing.
Proofreading is an art, but aside from the previously mentioned things, I thought you did very well with editing and proper punctuation - impressively so with regards to proper quotations and commas (I admittedly have both an overabundance and a penchant to drop commas). I'd read a sequel
and it's 'straight from the horse's mouth'
7162869 Why is it that every time someone complements my proofreading skills/ proofreader, they then go on to point out something I did wrong? Does that seem odd to anyone else?
I do know what you mean though, so many good stories have lost my attention because of basic grammar mistakes.
I had originally tried to work in that Twilight and Sunset were late because they stayed after class to talk with a teacher, but I couldn't make it fit with the feel and flow of the story. So I dropped it. A reader can make up their own reason for why they are late without too much issue.
-Calm
Stop being hypocrites.
-Insane
7163055 People point out grammatical mistakes because they care enough about the story to want it to make it better, especially in ways that don't actually contradict the vision of the author. If they dislike the story, they won't bother. Think of it as a compliment.
7163462 Right, I keep forgetting I need to use emojis as text doesn't convey tone. That was a poor attempt at observational humor. Sorry for the confusion.
7163482 No problem. I've seen other authors complain about the constant stream of minor criticisms that they're getting being heavily demoralizing, so I just wanted to be sure.
Perfect!! XD
That last line did me in. Great story, very creative.
I have a thug life shirt with a unicorn on it.
I feel these are necessary to post:
[youtube=huHbdH7SHH4]
[youtube=F077lA3iy5c]
Quite enjoyable, this story.
Edit; This is relevant to the rap battle that happened in the comments:
[youtube=TN9MLa9q2Gc]
Exactly.
7144358
Mahow
You should probably re-tag this since EQG has its own tags now
7161554
If you don’t turn me back the f*** around I’ll place you in Hagrid’s House!
“Which one is that?”
The literal one. Or Mr. Potter can introduce you to our dorms under the stairs.
“That one!”
SWINE ASS!