Daniel Kroger is a Marine who likes military history, even if he found his interest by accident. He wakes up in a M4A3E8 Sherman in a forest, he struggles to understand how he got there. He hides from the local residents and protects them from harm when they enter his forest. They call him 'The Guardian'. What happens when he comes out?
Teen for gore and language.
Contains a misleading title, an author who has no schedule for releases, anthro ponies, horrid grammar at the start, wonky things mentioned once and never again, an author who probably shouldn't be writing in the first place.
When did I get featured?
Chapters (44)
this looks very interesting. i do hope you continue this!there are so many questions to be answered! well done to you!
Good job, I demand more.
But 20 mre's will not for in a messenger bag. Might fit in an Alice Pac with no gear though.
I look forward to reading more.
Needs a little more detail. I got a little lost when the main character saved the CMC. Seems slightly rushed. Now this is better than some other stories I have read but its lacking something. More interactions and questions. The multi POV you did earlier is a great way to add length and adds to the story. Creates wonder and interest on how the mane 6 intend to deal with the latest 'metal beast' of the Everfree. But I am interested to see where this goes, I love WWII stuff and want to see more.
keep it up! this is really a good start ,more please with more detail.good job!
It seems a bit rushed but I see a lot of potential.
P.s. one of the worst things that you can possibly do in a tank is sleep in it especially a tank as old as the Sherman, gives you really bad back problems the whole day.
7114791
The next chapter will have more interaction, and maybe finally the introductions.
Certainly feels rushed, but I like the idea.
Cool!
You should make day numbers in bold - it seems more fit.
And I expect this to be updated regularly, not 3k words a month, like some stories.
i vote for option A dan would have far more adventures with the mane six.yea it would be nice to see a panther or mark4 or even a pershing.just acouple not to many too ruin theuniqueness of having humans and tanks in equestria. once again thank you for this great story! well done!!
I like both A & B That is a hard choice for me to make.
I like (B) because it involves him joining the Royal Gard (I have not seen very many people do that in their stories) I just don't really care about the war part.
Is there a way to mix both A & B together?
PS. I like this story so far.
First off, great idea for a story, very pulling as a history buff myself.
Second, you need a editor to check your work...
Door 2 Johnny! And have him stationed in ponyville. Might I also suggest that the German tank be a Tiger or King Tiger.
7124058
I was thinking those, but I think they may be overkill and they were mechanically unreliable
You have some great ideas in this, but your too fast on most of the story.
1. Like how everyone already called dan the guardian for no reason yet.
2. Whats up with them being so calm and chill? Add some action! Some FREAKING THE FUCK OUT! Also this kinda goes against what you said in the first chapter cause celistia said he looked very similar but not the same.
3. What's up here? One, they shouldn't know he is from a different planet, imagine how we react, we would think they are from somewhere far away that we haven't seen or heard of and would only remotely think they're alien, he was said to look very similar to them.
4. Again, need an editor... It's "mean" as in, what do they mean?
5. They have phones but act as the tank is some advance machinery? Do they have very selective technology for some reason? No vehicles?
6. They have USD there? No one else in our world calls currency dollars unless they're talking about American dollars. Also needs period.
7. Doesn't make much sense... They were already there, right?
8. This whole sentence is fucked up...
And to answer your question, I don't really think 'A' would be good, but 'B' would be... fine. I would kinda prefer him to stay to himself for a while longer, simply because, he doesn't understand what the hell happened, or this world, and the people have no idea who he is; (other than the crusaders now).
All this is advice to make this story better and more enjoyable, while making you a better writer.
7124093 Yeah
7116058 If that happened to me, (being transported somewhere else then attacked) I wouldn't even mind.
Yeah needs more interest and details. You could drag this out. Add the mane 6 or someone walking through looking, they hear a roar of something, the ground starts to shake and the trees rustle before a massive metal beast comes crashing through and running past. Details man, lots and lost of details that's what makes a story.
7116058 Actually Older Tanks (not Light tanks of course) have more room in them than Modern Ones(MBTs NOT APCs or IFV's). Depending on your height you could actually stretch out a bit(if you slept with your back against an Ammo rack) in an M4 Sherman. Watch the end of the final battle in Fury (I know its a movie but they used a REAL Sherman for the entire film), You can see Brad Pitt stretched out on the floor with his back against the turret
vote for A
Vote A, But keep the idea of other Tanks joining in and some larger conflict.
A
He should be in a special branch of the militairy. He should be his own commander and perhaps have some ponies work under him if you put him in their militairy.
Good job on this chapter, but remember that improvement is an eternal process.
As for the options you have listed in this thing, I have to agree with your previous comments as well as those of others that have spoken.
Option A means that there could be portion of slice of life as well as adventure(with all the violent glory thet tanks can offer)
Option B however would give closer look as to how Equestria would function, since military is one of the cornerstones of any state, thus he would gave more contact with princesses. It would also mean that other beings would be interested, as alien tech is not exacty something that happens to pop out in equestria(or is it?)
Therefore I propose a compromise between the two with added bonus: bring only one or two tanks in. This way you can give everyone more character development and hilarious situations depending of their personalities:
"Have you ever driven these things?"
"Only in World of Tanks"
As for the tanks, my vote goes to Stug III, easy to maintain and operate, as well as Icon on its own right.
Too fast-paced, you need to show, not tell.
7124157
1. No regrets
2. Some action is coming up in the next chapter
3. Dan said he is from a different planet (I realized I should have added something to show he said that)
4. Fixed
5. A tank and a car are way different
6. I slipped up on that
7. They were outside of Ponyville
8. Bullet casing 'hold' the bullet. If you watch a war movie, the parts that come out the side of a gun are the casings.
7126810 It's great to see you respond. And yes, I know what bullet casings are, the sentence was just a bit, everywhere. lol
will here we go. time meet mare 6.
Going on adventures is best
because are just suck. just ask brony analysis they agree with that.
hahahaha do i snore in my sleep
Is he going to be his own captain atleast? Him following orders from anyone just wouldn't feel right.
I know these are short, but this one felt like I just started reading when I finished
Hmm... I do like how this is going but its a LITTLE fast paced...
Dude you just skipped the exposition and basically went right to the conflict.
You might have to do some heavy revision after you're better at writing.
Yeah, both the main character and the mane 6 took things pretty well. The doctor didn't question anything and said that Dan could leave whenever. Some sentences need to be separated. Needs more detail and some more questions and panicking.
if that M4 Sherman haven't shot it main gun it mean he have (90 rounds) HE and AP.
be cool if can it tank over in gems to make it anti-magic resist spells.
to act like http://s1080.photobucket.com/user/Eddlm/media/171156-animatedcavetrappedtwilight_sparkle.gif.html
So you couldn't tell? I think you meant to add a period there.
I would be scared shitless if the safety was off, he should be thankful if the safety was on.
7160280
Fixed both issues, thanks for pointing them out to me.
more plz
7174543 When?
7174604 Oh i thought you meant you had made another chapter
moa!
Who will the romance be between?
Well, where's the next.
I personally think it would be cool to add another human to the mix. Like... the owner of that tank :D
7198446
He is, the story is in first person POV