The Guardian

by NYChris824

Two Tread are better than Four Wheels

Author's Note:

Been meaning to post this but I've been busy with procrastination

If a man does not have the sauce he is lost. However that same man can be lost in the sauce.
-Gucci Mane

AN: How would guys feel about having quotes at the top? Unoriginal? Yes. I'd probably do military ones to keep the theme going

The moon had been up for an hour when Michael and I left. We said our goodbyes to Twilight and took off in our tanks to a Sweet Apple Something. I couldn't remember the name and Michael has never been there.

We squeezed the tanks through the entrance to the farm and pulled up in front of the barn. We walked inside the barn where we found Big Mac, Doctor Whooves and Caramel and a beanpole dude with yellow fur and orange hair.

"Mr. Cake." Michael said, nodding at him

"Hey Michael." He said back

We all gathered around a barrel with a map of the local area, various areas were circled. Including one deep in the forest.

"Safehouses?" I asked

"Eeyup." Big Mac said "The plan is to load up and be gone in an hour. We got food an water and Ah dug out my pa's musket and been learning how to use it."

"Add that to the firepower from the tanks and our own guns. All we need is some melee weapons and we'd be unstoppable." I said, looking a round the barn for some. I grabbed some hammers sitting on a workbench and some pitchforks hanging on the wall. "Done."

"How will they keep us safe?" Caramel asked

"Simple, take the hammer to the head or chest." I said demonstrating on him "Pitchfork to the chest or throw like a spear. Even then, we are only driving through the forest so we probably won't need anything."

"Then why take them?"

"Better to have them and not need it and need and not have it. Plus the hammer is, well a hammer, so we'll probably need one anyway."

"Thanks Captain Obvious." Michael said, "So anyone else coming or we ready to go?"

"Just waiting on Thunderlane." Whooves said

"We should probably load up now. At least be ready." Michael said

We dragged the supplies out to the tanks and loaded them up. We spilt it up so just in case we got separated, we could last a few days. I personally couldn't see how we would get spilt up unless a hurricane rolled through. Thunderlane arrived, having to deal with 'issues' back home. I just chalked it up as his girlfriend (girlfriends?) wanted him to stay and fuck their brains out or something.

We took off, led by the pale moonlight until we turned our headlights on and lit the area up like downtown Baghdad in 2003. I had Thunderlane and Big Mac with me and Michael had everyone else.

"What are these things?" Thunderlane asked, running a hand over the shells.

"Those are shells for the cannon. Drop one on the ground we fucking die so handle with care." I said, Big Mac said something that was mumbled. Unfortunately, Big Mac's size left his head and shoulders sticking out of the tank. We snaked our way off the farm and out towards the forest. I noticed Big Mac grab the thirty cal under him. He couldn't hear me say the safety was on and the gun was basically a club.

We began making our way rough the forest, I could see eyes light up wherever the headlights went, but I'm pretty sure it was deer. The path was a little narrow and would often fork off and go elsewhere.

A little sapling lit up in my lights in the middle of the path. I took my thirty ton machine into that bitch, I was waiting to hear a faint snap or a crunch. Instead, I started leaning back like I'm on a roller coaster. I pulled the sticks back to stop. The sapling wasn't fucking breaking like it should.

I pulled the sticks back, the tank backed up a little bit before coming to a halt. I pushed the left tread to forward while keeping the left one in reverse.

I climbed out, Grease Gun in hand and look under the chassis. Sure enough the top of the sapling was touching dirt, but was still in one piece forming an 'n' shape and holding the tank in the air. I looked at Big Mac

"The fucking tree has the tank suspended in the air." I walked over to Michael and banged on his hatch.

Michael popped the hatched "The Scheiße happened?"

"Some little fucking sapling has the tank floating. We'll probably have to pull the tank down." I said

"Joy. Hook up to the back and I'll pull it down." I climbed on mine and grabbed the chains from the bags and tossed them down.

"Yo Thunderlane!" I said, popping his hatch, "Hand me a hammer."

"One hammer."

I slid into it a pocket and slid back down, Michael was sitting in the commander's seat keeping an eye out for anything.

"I didn't know you could shoot."

"Just hurry up. This forest is haunted you know."

"It ain't haunted." I countered "It's just filled with deadly creatures. Also, I lived in here for a week and I wasn't attacked. I got attacked OUTSIDE the forest."

"Doesn't matter, they came from the forest."

"Locals are out too, so we're good." I said, referring to the eyes in the forest "It's when the market is closed that the Taliban attack." I ran the chains from the back of Michael's tank to mine.

"Give it a go!" I said, Michael went down and slowly pulled us off the tree. I gave the hold sign and grabbed the fifty cal. I turned the safety off and shot the tree until it collapsed under its own weight. I drove right over it, then backed up and continued down the path.

Several miles down the path, we found a rope bridge. My first thought was calling for a Wolverine before I remembered that they didn't exist here.

"Well, we're walking over there." I said, as we jumped out. We all walked up to the bridge and looked across, then down. Big Mac pulled out a piece of paper and looked at it.

"We cross this bridge and the castle'll be on the other side."

"Perfect." Caramel said "Who's first?"

"I'll go," I said "let me just grab some stuff first and I'll head over." I grabbed my grease gun and shoved the mags in pockets and grabbed a hammer. I gave it a few swings to get used to the weight of it. It's no Ka Bar, but it'll work.

"I was thinking about joining Force Recon." I said to Michael as I crossed the bridge

"I don't know what that is!" He shouted

"It's alright!" I said over my shoulder "Neither do I and they're Marines too!"

The bridge was in surprisingly good shape, considering was a thousand years old, along with everything else. Although it was probably covered in a 'never age' spell or some shit. I walked across without incident and arrived at two wooden doors. I gave the doors a gentle push, the left one squeaked open an inch and the right fell inwards.

"Anyone home?" I said, as I looked inside. I walked to my side of the bridge. "It's all good, one of the doors is collapsed though, so there might be something living inside."

We brought the supplies over and walked inside. It started with a large hall before leading to another set of doors, several hallways branched off from the area. The roof was collapsed in some areas, allowing moonlight to cast parts of the room in pale white light. Around the room was pieces of the roof, scattered and in different sizes.

"Hold up." He said "some of these tiles are trap doors."

"Why would the main entrance be booby trapped? I feel like the FNG would just fall through a bunch of times."

"More importantly was is it booby trapped in the first place." Thunderlane said

"You can never go wrong with booby traps. Also what kind of traps are we talking about? Are we talking trap door style or more like poison arrow to the neck?"

"Trap doors that lead to hidden rooms and whatnot." Big Mac said, as he stared walking through the minefield of traps. He would take a sidestep and every here and there and we followed him.

"We should probably get something to mark this path." I said

"Like what?" Michael asked

"I don't know, it was idea. I don't have a plan. Rocks? Bullet casings? Make something up."

The sound of stone grinding on stone made us all come to a freeze. Big Mac's right foot stepped on a trap. His body straightened out and he became completely still.

"Everypony go around me. Take a step to the left, this was the second to last one." He said

We all walked around him and gave him plenty of room.

"You know what movie has a good soundtrack? Guardians of the Galaxy." I said

"Really?! Caramel said, "Big Mac is on a trap door and you're talking about movies?"

"It's a way to take someone's mind off what's really happening. We would do it whenever someone got shot, keeps the mind off the fact there's a hole in their chest. I once had a debate about marijuana legalization with a dude in my squad while he had was being stabilized to be flown out."

"He's right, I was thrown off I forgot about the trap for a moment." Big Mac said, shifting around.

"I don't know where to take this conversation." I said "I say we take about ten steps back and he jumps to us and we pray we all live." We all stepped back and watched.

Big Mac jumped and landed next to us, we waited for something to happen.

"Oh God. It must be a timed release." Michael said as everyone ran to the wall and ducked.

"I have never heard of a timed release trap and I've been in several IED blasts." If anything the trap's been used already. The fact that the doors aren't rotted after a thousand years is a miracle."

Big Mac pulled his map out and look out at. "Throne room." He said pointing at the massive pair of doors ahead, covered in vines. "This leads further towards bedrooms." He said pointing to the hallway on the left.

"I say we check out the throne room first." Whooves said, we all agreed with that and walked to the doors. Michael pushed the door open, but it was locked.

"Well that was anticlimactic." I said "I used to be point man to breaching doors. I could kick it down."

"Eenope." Big Mac said and kicked it himself. Only he took the door off the hinges and had sail through the air and straight over a destroyed wall. "Oops."

"Auf Wiedersehen." Michael said, I nodded and hummed 'Taps'.

We began to explore the throne room. On the far end of room were two thrones, one white and one a grayish hue. A large banner, one half was also gray and the other was white. A circle, the shade darker sat in the middle. On either side stood an alicorn, one held a spear and the gray side. The other held the white side and a yellow poppy. War and peace.

"Those are the two Princesses." Mr. Cake said "it must've faded over time. Princess Luna's half should be black."

"Something like this belongs in a museum." I said "We should take it and sell it to one."

"Maybe." Caramel said "we'd be millionaires."

"Eenope. I ain't stealing from the Princesses." Big Mac said

"It's not stealing from them. We're taking it from there old castle. It's like finding a bit, no one lives here." Thunderlane said

"Still. Ah don't like it at all."

"Let's worry later about the ethics of stealing priceless works of art later." Michael said "Where are we sleeping?"

"Not in this room." I said "That wall is a perfect way for wild things to enter. We should find a large room or something."

We returned to the entry way and looked around.

"This isn't bad, but it's not better. More ways in, but they're all smaller. Also the trap floor is here still." I said

"Well no shit the trap floor is here. It's a floor." Michael replied

"Yea well, it's 2 in the morning so let's just find somewhere." Thunderlane said

Comments

[ihatehaters1994]

First to comment. Also have them check out the princesses old rooms they are bound to have preservation spells on them, considering Luna probably had things ahe collected after her return to normal in the castle.

[FLUTTERGUY411]

"Auf Wiedersehen." Michael said, I nodded and hummed 'Taps'.

Taps works beautifully here...

RIP DOOR...

[FLUTTERGUY411]

Also pls do continue I have become obsessed with this story and am definately no exception when it comes to procrastination... XD

[Black diamond]

The only problem i have is with the lack of anything hapining grantid it was done well

Also wat about the rushin guy in the hospitle?

[Dodsodalo]

Personally, nothing speaks as something more hardcore or military than....
Gucci Mane.
...
...
...
I'm sorry, but this may be the only chance to write that, and have it apply contextually.
Also, good to see this story being continued, LOVE it!

[NYChris824]

8073919

No one ever said quotes in a story had to apply to the story

[Dodsodalo]

8075011 I know.
It's just so comical how it was put together.
No shame in that.
In actuality, more kudos than shame.

[Prince Galaxy]

More!

[NYChris824]

8102522

Considering my average blogs, even when tagged earns around 20 views, this is a better way for people to see it.