I'm not saying there's clop , but there's none
We were patrolling a small town in the Kandahar Province, it had about two thousand people in it. Captain Sterlite had us do a simple patrol around town, win the hearts and minds of the locals or some shit like that. We drove past a market, I peered out the window, children were playing, men talking about whatever and women shopped, no longer needing to cover there face or require a male from their family to accompany them. I personally believed in what we were doing here, I'm not sure about anyone else though.
Gun fire erupted from above us, bouncing off the sides off our Humvee.
"Ambush!" Captain Sterlite yelled "Keep going!" I grabbed my M16, and help it in my lap and we drove away, 50 caliber machine guns tearing away at the building. We turned a corner and kept driving for a few blocks before we stopped. We walked quickly and as quiet as possible down the street, hugging the sides of buildings that we passed. We reached the building, half the squad staying behind in case anyone comes up from behind or peek over again.
I was part of the group to go in, we stacked up on the door and breached. We swept downstairs, as more gun fire came from the roof. We started moving towards the roof, I was on point. Being point man was never fun, usually because you were the first to be shot at. Others broke off to check the bedrooms for anyone else, weapons or intel. I reached the roof itself, I walked past rugs hanging to dry in the hot sun and small flower pots. Standing there shooting down was a middle aged man with a thick beard, RPK in hand. I raised my rifle and piled the trigger once.
Three rounds flew into his back, knocking him down. He twisted midair so he was facing me, blood pooling around him. We locked eyes and he reached into his shirt.
"Suicide bomb! Get down!" I screamed and ran away. I ducked behind the little structure where the stair were. No explosion occurred, I peered around the corner, he was still sitting upright furiously hitting the little orange button to set off the suicide vest. His tapping slowed to a halt. "We're clear!" I yelled.
***
I woke up with pain in my chest, I looked around. I was still in the hospital room, Michael was passed out next to me and twilight was no where to be found. I realized I was still in my dress blues and should probably head back to my room in Twilight's castle and change. I got up and slowly walked towards the door, closing it behind me, I looked around trying to remember how to get out of here.
"Left?" I said "Left." I was totally guessing on which way to go and there was a distinct lack of people who worked here nearby. I found the elevator and hopped on, I stood there awkwardly, there was no elevator music for whatever reason. The doors opened and as I walked out, I bumped into Rarity, Twilight and Applejack. But mostly Rarity.
"Sorry darling, I thought nopony was in here." She said before gasping and spinning me around. "Where did your get this? The colors, the buttons!" She let out a squeal
"It's my dress blues and I got it in Canterlot for the press conference and some guy named Fancy Pants." I said
"You know Fancy?"
"More like I met him and he made this. You guys here to see Ivan?"
"Is that his name?" Twilight asked
"No clue, he's still asleep. Ivan is just a stereotypical name for Russians. If is was Michael in the bed, it would be Hans or Fritz." I explained, she seemed a little down, but what could I do? I'm kinda in the same boat as him, just conscious.
"What about yer name?" AJ asked, as they all entered the elevator.
I pushed the '2' button and thought for a moment. Bob? Maybe Joe? "Probably John or Joe. John is often used as a name holder."
We walked back to the hospital, nothing changed since the five minutes I was gone. Always a good sign. I shook Michael awake, he looked around and blinked.
"Morning Sleeping Beauty." I said, he muttered something in German that was probably something along the lines off 'Fuck off'.
"What's up?" He groaned
"Tell us about Ivan here." I said, walking over to him, looking down at him. He had short bleach blonde hair, but an orange 5'o clock shadow.
"I don't much more than you. All I know his he's a diabetic." Michael said showing off a white wrist bracelet with a small blue circle. "It's the international symbol for a diabetic, if you find them unconscious it lets you know.
"How do you know? Friend or a family member?"
"Guy in my squadron was one. Diabetics can't serve, but he lied or paid someone or something. Made it through basic and everything. Anyway that's all I know about Ivan here, I also highly doubt he speaks English." Michael continued
"Not like you and me. That's for damn sure."
"So ya'll have a stallion who may or may not speak the same language as us?" Applejack asked
"He might speak he might not. It's obvious he's from Russia originally, he could've been living elsewhere too. Or maybe he's one of those people who can speak four languages and finished college when they were sixteen." Michael said
"We're just gonna have to wait and see." I said as we walked out.
***
I sat down on a park bench, figuring out what to do the rest of the day. Applejack and Rarity had work, Twilight had to write a report to Princess Celestia and some errands around town. Michael actually scored a job interview while I was away at a bakery. SugarCube Something or another, I'm pretty sure Pinkie works there. Rarity wanted to make him a suit, but his 'interview' was him baking and claimed he would end up dirty.
I need a job, not even for the cash, well maybe the cash. But just to do something, I'm sitting around all day with a thumb up my ass. I'll just have to hunt down a newspaper and look through the help wanted section or something.
I started walking back to Twilight's castle, when I saw the tanks.
There's an idea I thought to myself, I could take apart and clean the machine guns. Burn some time off the day or something. I ran inside quickly to take off my dress blues, I'll take care of them later. I climbed on and took the fifty cal off the top. Doing anything with the fifty cal blows donkey dick, just because it weighs eighty something pounds. Using it was fun, though, just moving it by hand sucked. I sat on my ass and slid down the hull.
"What's up, Dan?" Dash said, landing next to me. She was wearing dark green coveralls and an orange safety vest. I couldn't help but mentally laugh at her get up.
I grunted as my put the gun over my shoulder "I'm cleaning this thing, care to join?"
"I'm on my lunch break 'til 1:45. It's 1'o clock now, but I usually nap during my break. Why not, I'm in."
Perfect." I said as we walked in. I was awkwardly carrying it, hugging the "brick" to my chest and the "pipe on my shoulder. We bumped into Twilight walking down the hall, looking like she ran a mile.
"Hey guys?" She said "What's up?"
"Dan and I are cleaning this uh, gun." Dash said, I just grunted.
"Nice, I miss Spike being around, he went to the Dragon Lands to visit Princess Ember. I had to teleport a pile of paperwork to Celestia." She said, maybe that why she looks tuckered out. Moving a mountain of paperwork a hundred miles probably earns a nap. Also shoutout to Spike for trying to sleep with royalty.
"Hey Twilight, you got a room that you wouldn't mind getting dirty? Oh and you got any grease and cleaning pads? Sorry to be a pain, but proper gun maintenance is key." I grunted out
"Second door on the left, I should have both somewhere on one of the shelves." I grunted my thanks and followed Dash into the room. I checked the shelves covering the far wall for grease and cotton cleaning pads.
I looked at Dash "You ready?
***
Michael POV
I stepped back from my creation, running a hand through my hair, putting behind my ear. A few minutes to cool and I can get and add the chocolate chips. My 'interview' as to bake something, didn't matter what. I went with something original, Avalanche Bars: Rice Krispies, white chocolate, peanut butter marshmallows and chocolate chips on top.
"How's it going Mikey?" Pinkie asked, making tarts from the other end of the kitchen.
"It'll be done soon." I said "Just got to wait for them to cool now." I sat back, thinking about my new life here. I hopefully got a job here, next up would be a phone or an old car. I just hope they invented the automatic transmission here. That wouldn't be a bad idea here, 'invent' things, I thought about 'making' movies. My first would be a shark that eats people and three man venture out to sea to kill it. Or maybe four nerdy guys fight ghosts with laser beams.
Maybe I should start small before breaking out the blockbusters.
I continued my mental palm to create movies whiles spreading chocolate chips on the bars. I took a step back and I called out to Mrs. Cake, the owner of Sugarcube Corner, along with her husband Mr. Cake as I began cutting.
It's almost like their destiny was to bake cakes.
"Frau Cake. Herr Cake, I present to you Avalanche Bars." I said. AN: While obviously Michael speaks good English, I plan to have him speak some German or even rant in it. Also, please read the my note at the end. There's some info relating to the story.
Pinkie and them each took one, they bit into it as I held my breath. The Cakes looked at each other and said,
"You're hired."
***
Dan POV
I regret diddly squat
"You ready?" I asked Dash
"Oh yea." She said
"Alright I'll just slide it in slowly, try not to get your finger stuck."
"Psh, I won't."
"Alright just let down real slow."
"Urg!" Dash cried out "Can we skip the foreplay?"
"I kinda like foreplay, but fine. Like I said-"
"I'll watch my hands." She said, she lined up the shaft with the hole.
click
The fifty cal was back on top of the turret, I slid the metal ring back into its holding place. I gave the cocking mechanism a few dry runs to back sure it still worked. I remember once in Afghanistan, one of our fifty cals got fucked up during a firefight and it had to be cocked for each shot.
"Works like a charm, I think." I said
"Alright, I gonna take off and nap before I got to work. See ya 'round." Dash said and flew off. I slid off and walked back to the castle. "Hey Dan!" Dash called out, turning around.
"Yo!"
"What ya doing at three?"
"Nothing, why?"
"Rarity's taking me and the girls to the spa!"
"And here I was thinking you didn't like the spa. Too, what's the word, mushy?"
"I don't, but my shoulders are killing me." She said, I unconsciously rubbed my chest, the pain now a dull throb.
"Alright count me in." I said as she flew away. I gave the gun one last once-over, especially the safety, not that it was loaded.
"Are you Dan?" A grey pegasus mare asked me, landing on the tank.
"Yes, what can I help you with Ms." I said, she looked familiar, I couldn't place my finger on it though. Probably just from walking around town or something.
"Big Mac wanted me to deliver this is you." She said, handing me a folded piece of paper and flew off before I could even say thanks. I folded the note and read it.
Meet at the barn with Michael and your vehicles. We leave tonight at 11
Perfect.
Stats
Page generated in 0.104 seconds
Total duration
747 users online
1,442,907 hits today, 2,139,894 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Sh*t is going down
Go ahead with the romance and I'm surprised that Michael didn't make a German chocolate cake.
Romance tag: yes
Best chapter of all time: Won't know till the story ends
Wouldnt mind romance just dont make it a bit part of the story.
To Carolusrex1
7858961
I cant believe you said german chocolate cake. Everypony knows its germain chocolate cake. Or could be griffon chocolate cake. Actually Gilda was cooking scones would that make griffons the U.K. of Equis.
7859632 Michael is a human from Germany so I was correct in saying German.
7856654 the author already said no heavy tanks.
7859698
*CAKE*
I was makin a joke. Personally my favorite cake is German chocolate. Sadly i have to stay away from it, or else im all like pinkie
Sauerkraut, Polish sausages, Hot dog buns, mustard and mayo = A great lazy dish.
7859698 Ja
7858961 the infamous Schwarzwälder Kirsch Torte?
7862556 hmmm.... I see the resemblance now... I knew they tried a 90mm on the M4A3E8 but I never thought they would do that... We all learn something new every day
7859632 no grifons always gave me a. Soveat rusha meats germiny vibe to em....hmmm
7873988
I hear ya i wish the grifs would choose a nationality already. But lets all agree German chocolate cake is the best type of cake.
Oh shit what about the guy in the hospital!!
Hes gona have a hell of a opinion of the ponies if he wakes up giting riden like one.
Id just like to say that although the authors writing could be more polished. I fucking love this. Story
The only mager bones i have to pic. Are that 1 you. Mentioned the. Spaa at lest twice and as of yet we have not gotten the rely ackword "im not waring any close and im seroundid by wimin that treet sex like a pillo fight " or the part ware ower protagonists mistakingly gits the "House speshal " not knowing that it inclods a happy ending with the twins that own the spaa.
2 you left out a MAJOR plot point when you left out the press conference a situation ware if shit wer to go horribly sideways a fight could brake out or worse war could be declared .
3 lastly its just the wording mostly. That and the time skips that ocer without so much as a line to separate them.
Romance tag yes, more pls
7879115 Then they become mary sues
7892405 no no im not saying thay got it by killing a fucking army with a 1911 whilst carying the fuckin presadent thro the desert and ending a nucklear war with north carea before it evin started
More like. He and a few others stayd behind with the few wonded that couldent be evackuatid ananmade shour to buy time fore the chopers to git back to git them the hell out only. For him to be the last sholdger standing under his one power
(Ie a forist gump).
I ment for them to have it thro shear dumb luck and a litle skill . not some. Call of duty bs. Ya know what I mean?
7873996 sary but ive got it beat with good old sothern cookin
Homade vinela cake smutherd in homade chockolat por over iceing.
Wit an optional. Scoop of ice cream. To.
7913303
1. Yes I know what you mean
2. I fixed the stuff in bold for you along with capitalizing the "D" in Duty and removed an unneeded period
3. Bundeswehr Cross of Honour for Valour, Hero of the Russian Federation, and when the British guy gets added the Victoria Cross
7913310
Hate to tell yall but my homemade apple cake is the best thing to eat if were going home style cooking. Also nobody can beead my special vanilla bean ice cream its so cold it burns.
Hey someone do an iron chen story. Glimmer vs pie
7913337. Thank you vary mutch .
1 FINALY. Somewone ho understands what ime trying to say.
2 you. Are totaly an editor (and in my defince my phone is broke as shit and its hard to see what im typing ...sary)
3......to somewone ho CLEARLY knows thair shit more than i do.*bumps chest with fist twice and points at you*RESPECT!
But sereously tho sory about the mangled punxuwation.
7913344. Wana trade resapies?
Ps i cant git the cake resape because my grandmother sed its seckrit will be Left it to me in her will but ive bin makeing the iceing with her fer the past 10 years.
7913367 sure i just gotta find it in my kitchen. Gotta ask you a guy or girl?
7913371 man.. U?
7913371 man u?
7915534
Stallion.
Ok apple cake.
Use a white cake mix replace oil with applesauce. And add grated apple of your choosing when your mixing the ingredients. Use a milk chocolate frosting.
Basically its like carrot cake just with apples instead.
7915543.
1 stik buter
Melt in pan
Add 2 cups sugar
2/3 cups coco
1/2 cup milk
3 tablespoons. Cornserup
Cook on stove top on medeum or high.
And win it starts to boyal put on a lid and leave it for a minat.
As for the cake thats mi grandmothers seckrit
But any vinila cake mix should do.
7915891
Coolio thnks ttyl
7915894
7915891
This conversation was wild start to finish
7916402
Trust me if pinkie was here she would be talkin circles around us.
7916402 god bles amarica.
...and the senceles shinanigans of her scitizins.
7916443 DAM STRAGHT!
7916402 sary to bother you. But can we git an eta on that next chapter?
only 4 launages? thats a depressingly low number the average european speaks around 4 just saying
Ja, das wäre gut, einen Römer zu haben