We arrived at the hill, overlooking town. I came to a stop and asked
"Now what? Do I drive through town or is there somewhere I can park this thing?" They all looked at each other
"Ya could park at mah farm." Applejack suggested
"I agree, as much as I would like to have in town, so I could study it, at the moment it's best to be far away from everypony." Twilight said, slightly saddened by this.
"Ok, next stop the farm. Where is it anyway?" I asked, I popped the hatch and Applejack popped hers, and pointed eastward.
"That a way, out yonder." Thankfully having lived in the southeast, I know my way around country terms.
I kept driving, turns out Applejack owns the farm I saw earlier.
"So how many people work here?" I asked her
"People?"
"I mean ponies, except me to say that often by the way."
"It just me and mah brother. But sometimes we have to hire other ponies to help out because of how popular we are across the country." She explained.
"Damn, really? Where do you want this bad boy parked?" I asked
"There's an old barn in the east fields you can use." She said, I kept driving and I noticed I haven't seen anyone else here at all.
"Hey Applejack, I know this is a massive farm and all, but where is everyone?" I asked
"Well, we haven't had to hire anypony yet. Big Mac's running the stand in town, AppleBloom is out somewhere with her friends and Granny Smith is probably nappin' inside." She said. I came to the barn, and they all jumped out. It was a bit of a tight squeeze, but I was able to park in there. I was about to climb out as well, except I hit my bruised ribs on the hole to enter and exit. I dropped like a sack of potatoes.
"Oh God! Pain! Pain!" I said as I slammed back I into the chair. The sun was blocked out by someone standing over me.
"Oh my, are you alright?" Fluttershy asked, her voice filled with concern.
"Yea, just banged my ribs. I have a first aid kit, I'll just take some painkillers and I'll be fine." I said
"Oh no! Please let me take a look." She replied
"Alright, let me come out and have more room." I slowly made my way up top, clutching the first aid kit. I sat there, while she sat there looking at the bruise. I noticed that with her dress, I had a good view of her breasts. I looked away though, something about them not being human made it feel... Odd. I sat there looking around at the farm instead. Fluttershy did a few pass with the gauze, before she said
"All done, see that wasn't bad, was it?" She said
"Yea, thanks Fluttershy." I said, she looked at her watch and gasped
"Oh my, I have to go take care of animals. That is if none of you mind." She said to us
"Of course not darling. Besides I have to go too. I have to finish a dress for a client." Rarity said
"I have to reorganize my library." Twilight said and disappeared in a flash.
"Did she just fucking teleport?" I asked in disbelief
"Yea, that happens often." Applejack explained
"Riiiight, well I have some clouds to bust!" and Dash left, leaving me and Applejack alone. We stood there for a moment thinking of what to say next. She looked out the door and I got a excellent view of her backside, she had that stereotype of country girls of being a pear shape. Oh God I'm doing it again! I shudder at the thought of it, they look so human, but they aren't. Applejack turned around to ask me a question, but the sound of something rumbling interrupted her. We both looked out the door and who I saw surprised me. He was massive, easily 6'6, beating me by five inches, he had on a plaid shirt, with the sleeves ripped off, a pair of blue jeans and working boots. His arms were massive, no words could really describe them. We looked at each other and gave a simple nod.
"Big Mac, this is the Guardian." Applejack said, taking advantage of the silence to introduce us. I raised an eyebrow at her, I guess that's how me knew me, as most people.. ponies would. We shook hands
"Thank ya for saving AppleBloom" he said in a deep voice
"No problem, part of the job, call me Dan." I said
"Big Mac, what are talking doing back here? Ya supposed to be runnin' the stand." Applejack asked
"Hard to do that when Ah'm outta apples." He simply explained, he traded his empty cart for a fully loaded one and started hauling it back to town. My jaw dropped at the fact he was able to haul the cart with ease, yet it was fully loaded.
"Hey Applejack-"
"Ya can call me AJ, sugahcube" she interrupted me
"Alright, what ability do Eath Ponies have that no one else has?" I asked
"We're stronger than other ponies. Ah can haul half a ton an' Big Mac can haul almost one an' half." She explained
"Holy shit." I simply said. AJ's phone dinged and she checked it, she simply nodded and said, "Ya ready to head back to town?"
"Yea, hold on let me grabbed something real quick." I said and went in the tank to grab my gun, while I was looking, AJ was talking to someone I could only her what she was saying.
"Let me guess, ya overloaded the cart... Wheel came off again?... Need mah help to unload it, fix it and reload it..." I came back out and saw Big Mac standing there, looking embarrassed.
"Sorry sugahcube, wheel popped off and ah'll have to help fix it." She explained
I waved my hand "No problem, how long?" I asked
"'Bout an hour or so." She said. Oh shit, I was expecting maybe half an hour maximum. An idea suddenly went off in my head.
"I have an idea," I began, they both looked at me, "I have some chains in one of the supply bags, I could take them, wrap them through the muzzle brake and use it like a crane." I said
"What's a muzzle brake?" Big Mac asked, I leaned on the barrel of the cannon and pointed to it.
"It's this part right here." They looked at each other and shrugged
"Worth a shot."
"Excellent, climb in." I said and went back in the driver's seat. They climbed in and we took off, the cart was outside their house. It was sitting there with the left back wheel knocked off. I got the chain and wrapped it around the muzzle brake and Big Mac wrapped it around the axle.
"You ready?" I asked
"Eeyup." Big Mac said, I began raising the gun barrel, slowly.
"Ya good!" AJ said, I stopped and waited for them to tell me to lower it.
"Alright ya can lower it back down now!" AJ said to me, poking her head the tank, I watched it land back on solid ground through the gunner sight. I undid the chains and put them back in the bag.
"Hey Dan, is it possible for us to hook up the cart to that machine of yours?" Big Mac asked, AJ seemed surprised by the question.
"Yea, there's some towing cables on the back, let me pull to the front." I said as I slid into the he driver's seat and parked in front of it. I grabbed the tow lines and hooked them up to the cart.
"Alright it's hooked up, let's head out." I said and we drove to town.
"Oh man, everyone's gonna flip when they see us!" I said laughing as I turned onto the main road that goes form end to end of town. The market was basically dead center so I had to drive down the busiest road to the busiest part of town. Sure enough, some of them ran inside building and other dove under tables, I could only imagine the confusion when they saw the cart of apples on the back. I saw a truck in town, I didn't know they had cars here, the issue with it was it looked straight outta the 1910s: no windshield and skinny wheels. We arrived on the edge of the market place, I could see Twilight and Rarity walking over to us while everyone else backed away. Big Mac opened his hatched first and unhitched the cart because he walked past hauling it.
"My jobs done here. Should we leave?" I said jokingly
"Nah, let's introduce ya to the town." She said as she climbed out and I poked my head out.
Everyone seemed surprised to see me, which made sense since I look almost nothing like them and my totally awesome war machine/ farm machine. Twilight seemed ticked about all of this.
"Really Dan, what were you thinking? You could've hurt somepony not to mention you scared half of the town! AND the Princess will be here soon." She started ranting, until she mentioned the Princess was coming and started to panic "the town isn't ready yet, there's no banners or anythi-". She was interrupted by a bright flash, causing us all to turn our heads away from it, I ducked in into the tank. After I blinked the spots from my eyes I came back up and silently gasped at what I saw. In front of me were two ponies, but they were huge. They were both easily six foot six, with one being near seven feet tall. They had on crowns, and everyone was bowing to them, confirming they were the Princesses. I recognized the first one, from when I first arrived here. Her sister was a polar opposite of her, black fur and her hair also moved with a imaginary breeze. My gut was telling me I had misplaced something, while they were talking I was going to figure out what I was missing.
Magical canteen? Check. Bag? Check Spare Clothes? Smelly and Check. Gun? Oh shit. I was
Poking around for it, it wasn't anywhere in the turret.
"This isn't gooood." I muttered to myself, I was feeling around under my seat.
"Got it!" I said
"Dan! Are you coming out or not?" I looked up and saw Twiligjt looking down at me. I slowly shook my head no and reached for the hatch, halfway through I came back out. The Princesses were standing there waiting for me.
"So you're the Guardian that my little ponies have told me about." The white one asked me
"That's the nickname I earned around here." I told her as I came off the hull
"I'm Princess Celestia and this is my sister Princess Luna." She said
"Nice to meet you Princesses, I'm Dan."